Duty's Burden
by zevgirl
Summary: Sequel to A Sense of Duty. Zevran/Elissa at Vigil's Keep, and beyond, after being kicked out by Alistair. Includes some Awakening story and characters Nathaniel/Cousland/Zevran. Lots of Zevran romantic goodness.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- All characters, settings, etc. belong to Bioware and the Dragon Age franchise.**

**Duty's Burden**

**Chapter 1**

"Well Zevran, our companionless status will be changing in a few hours." She tightened her grip on the reins and brought her horse to a stop.

Several days had passed since Alistair cast Elissa and Zevran out of the castle. As they rode their horses towards Amaranthine, their time was spent chatting and joking, sparring and skirmishing, teasing and lovemaking. On the fifth day, Elissa realized they were only hours from the Vigil's Keep.

"Getting close are we? What a pity. I have so enjoyed travelling alone with you, my love. Maybe a brief rest is necessary, yes?" Zevran pulled the reins to slow his horse.

"Hmm. I agree. After all, we don't know what kind of accommodations to expect at the Keep. We may _never_ be alone again."

"Perish the thought. But just in case, I think some ravishing is in order," he said with a devilish grin.

"There appears to be a clearing up ahead. Maybe some water to bathe in before the ravishing? We both could use a good cleansing."

"One of my favorite activities…you wash my back and I wash your…"

"My what, you dog?"

"I'll not give away any surprises I have in store for you, my dear. You will just have to trust in my exceptional skills as a lover."

"Oh? Something new added to your repertoire? You stay awake at night and think these things up, don't you?"

"I am sorry, but I am not allowed to give away trade secrets. Your patience will be rewarded, I assure you."

As they rode up to the clearing, they saw a long abandoned encampment. There were signs of past travelers: wagons, broken crates, burned out campfires, remnants of animal bones, and a few human remains.

"Dreadfully romantic, no?"

"Ugh. How about off to the left there." She pointed to the edge of the clearing. As they approached, she heard a trickle of running water. "There must be more where that came from."

The horses followed along the stream as it expanded. After about twenty minutes, they came to a small, fresh water pond. "Thank the Maker. Interested in camping here tonight? The Keep can wait for us until morning … although, I do sense darkspawn have been through here. I _think_ they are long gone. But…maybe we shouldn't be too quick to stay…"

"Oh, no you don't, my dear. Get that leather off and join me in the water after I take care of the horses. "

"Well, I guess it's okay. We do deserve a break anyway. But, I am not waiting for you, rogue! You'll have to catch me first!" Elissa leapt of the horse and ran for the pond.

"You cheat, woman!" Zevran sprinted to a tree and tied up the horses with lightning speed. He turned on his heels, but could not see her. As he darted to the pond, he stripped off his armor and called for her. "Come out, my dear. You cannot hide from a master rogue and assassin such as me!" He stepped closer to the pond, admiring the calm water, and stared at his own reflection lost in thought. _You have come a long, LONG way, Zev._

A forceful shove from behind sent him flying into the cold water. "A-ha! Master, indeed! You are in need of practice, Zevran! You let your guard down. Lucky for you I am the only one who can see that priceless look on your face!"

"Mark my words, you will regret this, Elissa!" Zevran marched out of the chilly water naked, shaking his head and smoothing his hair. He was a bronzed, prince of a rogue if ever there was one.

_And he is all mine, _she thought. Elissa's hearty laughter finally ended. "Zevran, you are a stunning specimen."

"Yes, I _am _marvelous. Come. Claim what is yours." She threw her arms around his drenched body and kissed him frantically. "Oh, you are most intoxicating right now, amor."

Elissa sighed into his kiss. "Take me, Zevran. Love me…" He swept her off her feet and headed away from the pond, all the while kissing her face and neck with abandon. Unexpectedly, he stopped and fixed his eyes on her with a devious grin. "Oh, yes. You mentioned wanting a bath before our self-indulgence began." He turned and ran straight into the pond, tossing her forward with all his strength.

"You…you…achhh... Maker, this water is cold! This makes us even, right?"

"Not even close, my dear. But do not fret. When I exact my revenge, you will enjoy it. In the meantime, let us have some fun. I do not think we have ever made love in a pond, correct?" He sauntered into the water and dove in. His lips rose up to meet her chest and he continued to plant kisses all the way up to her mouth.

"Right as always, Zevran." She wrapped her legs around his hips and pressed her lips to his, writhing in his arms. As they kissed feverishly, she moved her hand down along his stomach and then further down to feel his lust. He responded with a low growl as he slid into her. He pulled her hips to his and then pushed them away, faster and faster each time, while the water splashed around them. "Zevran...I...Love...You..." They climaxed at the same instant, and their pleasure lingered for a bit. "Sorry, Zevran, but it's just too bloody cold to stay in here any longer. Let's get clean and get out."

After they washed off the grime from their journey, they swam briefly to rinse off the suds and left the water feeling refreshed. They dried off and put on some casual "camp" clothes, as she liked to call them. "I am ravenous with hunger. Aren't you, Zevran?"

"My hunger is for the more sensuous of delights, not for camp rations. But alas, _you_ must keep your energy up. I do not want to retire early tonight."

"I think _you_ should prepare the meal. You are the better cook between us. I will set up the tent and polish our armor. Maybe hone the weapons a bit. I want to look presentable and qualified when we arrive at the Keep."

"A fine plan, my dear. While I do love you, your cooking makes me rethink my oath at times. I did manage to pilfer some spices from the castle kitchen before our departure. I think something hot and spicy is in order, yes?"

"Mmmm, that sounds wonderful. Well, I am off to make us look respectable."

"Surely you do not think The Hero of Ferelden will be held to such scrutiny?"

"I have no idea what to expect, so I am preparing for anything, as should you. And do not call me that. I did not succeed alone in the defeat of the Blight."

"Yes, that is true. However, I am certain of my skills, but even more so of yours, my Grey Warden. We need to work on your self-confidence levels. How many vile creatures have died by your blades and still you worry about green recruits and soldiers who have never seen battle?"

"Yes, well, you know me. I require a lot of positive reinforcement. Thanks for the pep talk, Zevran. Now get to cooking before I fall unconscious from hunger!"

He noticed a hint of melancholy in her eyes as he knelt beside the fire he was preparing. "Elissa?"

"Yes?" She tipped her head and widened her eyes.

"Any regrets? Any doubts…about anything?"

A broad smile crept to her lips and she reached out to caress his cheek. "Not one, my love. Not even one."

"I'm glad," he whispered, leaning into her palm. Even Zevran needed comforting words of encouragement now and again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"That was a delicious meal, Zevran. You have certainly outdone yourself. I shall never cook for you again," Elissa proclaimed.

"Oh? A role reversal, then. Shall I wear an apron next time?"

"Only if you wear an apron and nothing else," she shot back, leering at his thighs.

"You saucy, girl." He grinned and reached for his pack. "I have another surprise for you, mi amor. Let us retire to our tent for a while." He pulled back the tent flap and beckoned for her. "Come. I won't bite."

"I know you, Zevran. You still want to make me suffer for pushing you into the pond and injuring your roguish pride. I am not sure if I should trust you."

"You wound me, my dear. I promise, what I have in mind will not make you angry."

"Hmmm. Against my better judgment, I will agree to your request..." She slipped inside and noticed a bottle of wine and some bread just past the bed rolls. "So, you want to get me drunk and take advantage of me? Not very creative, Zevran."

"Ah, you underestimate me, Elissa." He took a swig from the bottle and passed it to her. "I am sorry, but we have no glasses to drink from. We shall have to be a bit uncivilized tonight. Here, taste this." He ripped a piece of bread from the loaf and soaked it with wine. "Luscious, no?"

"Yes, very tasty. Thank you. So what is it that you have planned for our last night of solitude? Nothing too run of the mill, I hope. And remember, I am your superior."

"On the battlefield, maybe. But in here, you are my subject. You trust me, do you not?"

"With my life, Zevran. Now, you have piqued my curiosity."

"Then lie back and close your eyes. Do not open them, for any reason, until I tell you to do so."

"As you say, Ser Arainai."

Slowly and carefully, he slipped off her clothes. His eyes outlined the curvature of her shoulders, her arms, her breasts, her thighs, right down to her toes, imprinting every freckle and scar on his brain. "I intend to make you cry out my name in ecstasy, but only after I have tempted you with my touch." He reached into his pack and took out two short lengths of rope. He tied her wrists together above her head, just tight enough so she could not wriggle free. Her eyelids fluttered.

"No, No. Keep them closed."

He reached down and did the same with her ankles, purposely not touching her in a sexual manner. "I am at the mercy of your wicked thoughts. Payback, right? You will not win this round, love. I have incredible strength of resolve. Give it your best shot though."

"You know I do love a challenge. Keep silent, mi amor. You _will_ surrender."

Zevran placed supple kisses along her shoulders, her neck, her cheeks, while his fingers pinched and massaged her breasts. She let out a soft moan as his fingertips grazed against her nipples. He dipped his finger in the wine bottle and then placed it in her mouth. She sucked the entire finger in with complete abandon. Drops of wine trickled onto her chest and he lapped them up, his tongue swirling in circles. His mouth moved lower, to her navel where he poured more and quickly sucked the liquid out. More lingering droplets poured below as his tongue dashed in and out of her.

She trembled, as her breasts heaved with each entry. "Zevrrann…if this is my punishment, I shall be mischievous more often."

"Oh, my poor love. Your punishment is only just beginning." She was euphoric, almost in a state of unconsciousness. He continued lapping as her hips rose to meet his lips. He prolonged the temptation as his tongue passed quickly back and forth. She was getting close, too close.

"Open your eyes," he whispered. He was on his knees, grinning.

"Why are you stopping? Why are your pants still on? What is going on, Zevran?"

"I intend to take a dip in the chilly waters beyond our tent, my dear. I will be back," he said casually.

"What? Untie me now, Zevran! I…I can't believe what you are doing to me! I need…"

"As I said, I will return. But right now I must cool my earthly urges. You understand, no?"

"No, I do not understand! I hate you Zevran Arainai. Don't leave me like this! You fiend!" she screamed as he left the tent.

She heard the splash of his body hitting the water. _Bastard_. Elissa shimmied her way over to the tent opening and stuck her head out into the darkness.

"You…you are cut off Arainai…I mean it! Come back…don't leave me…alone." She heard his quiet laughter as he headed back to the shore.

"Well, that was bracing. So serious, my dear. All the pleasures we have shared, surely you can handle being put off this once?"

"Zevran, you left me. Alone and…." The tears welled up in her sapphire eyes. He hurried over to her and cut the ropes loose.

"My dear Elissa, I was only teasing. No tears. You know I would never leave you."

He took hold of her chin with his hand, raising her face to kiss her.

"I know…I…I can't explain Zevran. This sudden dread overtook me. Highever flashed through my mind, when I was helpless, before I left with Duncan, and left my family to be slaughtered. I felt so alone, I abandoned them…I never really mourned that day. We left for Ostagar and then the Joining…it all happened so quickly. Then it was more death and killing…Alistair was too busy mourning Duncan and I had no one." _Stop whining like a child._ "Maker, I thought I was past this…I just had a moment of panic. I am sorry."

He wrapped himself around her trembling form. "It is I who is sorry, my love. I thought it could be fun…for our last night. I am an imbecile. Please forgive."

"No, no. This is why I love you, Zevran. You are impetuous. You live for the moment. I want to be willful like that. I know I can be so boring, so practical and predictable. Can you teach me to be more…reckless? I want to embrace life, not fear it."

"You are not so levelheaded all of the time, and certainly never boring. Some facets of ourselves are meant to be, to carry out our fate. I will try to tutor you, but you must be willing, mi amor."

She returned to the position she was in before he left for the pond. "I am." This time her eyes were open and her hands were free to explore. "Do what you like, Master Arainai. _I _am yours."

Impassioned hands entwined as one and they kissed until their lips were overwrought with hunger. She caressed his hardness while he nibbled her breasts. Unable to control her desire, she took hold of him and forced him inside her, her hips pounding into his. They groaned in unison as they reached the peak together.

Zevran wiped the sweat from his brow and rolled off her. He placed an elbow down and perched his head in his hand. Their ragged breaths slowed and Elissa grinned sheepishly.

"My, my. Maybe you _can_ teach an old dog new tricks."

She gave him a backhanded slap to the chest. "You are calling _me_ old? You are older than I am! I think I could use a drink after that. Pass me the wine bottle please."

"As you command, my lady. Not so much older, by the way."

"True. No old man can do what you just did for me." She gave him a sudden kiss. "Speaking of older men, did I ever tell you how I tried to seduce Duncan that night? A story for another time, perhaps. Maybe on the road tomorrow. At any rate, I think it is time for some sleep. Tomorrow will be exhausting, I just know it. All the meeting and greeting, the information gathering. And you will need to start training recruits almost immediately. It is depressing just thinking about it." A naive gaze fell on her face. "I wish we could run away. Disappear and never be heard from again."

"We cannot always choose our destiny, my dear."

"Everyone can but me, it seems," she sighed. Elissa reached out with open palmed hands, and gently grasped his cheeks. "Zevran, I promise you, when the affairs in Amaranthine are over, and the annulment final, we _will_ leave and have a normal life together. If you still want me, that is." She glanced down at her ruby ring. He looked at his band and took her hand.

"I will always want you, Elissa. Never doubt this." He draped his arm over hers as they lay next to each other, and they fit together like two spoons. Sleep swept them away quickly.

As the sun rose the next morning, Elissa thought of Alistair. She wondered what he was feeling, what he had told everyone about her sudden departure. In a few hours, a different life in Amaranthine would begin. She looked over at Zevran's peaceful face. He was still asleep, a trace of a grin on his lips. In all her time with the would-be templar, she had never felt like she did right now, with Zevran. Free and enslaved, all at once. She was his. He was hers. But neither owed the other anything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Get up, you lazy dog!" A sharp slap to the backside shocked Zevran out of his dreamy state.

"Already daybreak? " He squinted at the brightness coming through the tent door. "Good morning, my dear. Please control yourself the next time you feel the urge to spank me so early."

"We need to get going, Zevran." She could not help but break into a sing-song, chipper voice, just to annoy him. "Vigil's Keep awaits our arrival."

"A moment, please. Let me gather my thoughts and then you can order me around." He was not a morning person.

They pulled up camp, had some rations and mounted their horses to begin the trip. Elissa was nervous. She was more chatty than usual; it was her way to fill the time and not think of what lay ahead.

"So, what should we talk about this beautiful morning? Oh, I know! Here is a question for you; if you and I were to fight to the death, who do you think would win? No poison. Just armor, weapons, and skill."

"Are you in need of more positive reinforcement?" he chuckled.

"I value you opinion. Come on, Zevran, have a little fun with this."

"I will go on record saying that it would very bloody and possibly a draw."

Her eyes narrowed quizically. "Really? You don't think you would best me?"

"On any given day, we are equally skilled. However, you are quite the cheat, but I have superior assassin skills." Zevran's arms flailed about as he spoke. "You may outmaneuver me, throw low blows, but I can find your weak spots. We would both bleed out before a winner was evident. Of course I would never kill you. Cripple, yes. Maim, maybe. Kill, no."

"Of course. Thanks. That makes me feel…special. I believe I agree with your assessment. Your turn. Ask a question," she said as her horse trotted along.

It was a glorious morning. The birds sang, the flowers bloomed and all was right with her world. But all she could think about was her duty as Commander of the Grey.

"Hmm. Tell me about your rousing evening with Duncan. I assume not even Alistair has heard of this?"

"No one has heard of this."

"Do tell, my love. He was quite a bit older than you, yes?"

"Yes, although he was as fit as any man twenty years his junior. He was dark and handsome, with a ponytail and a beard. His voice was mesmerizing, deep and soft. He had a confidence I have never seen in a man since. He feared nothing, and I mean _nothing_. You would have wanted him, Zevran, so physically powerful and masculine he was."

"I think I am jealous, my dear, but do continue." Zevran smirked at the thought of her with another man. _At least this man is dead,_ he thought.

"I caught him staring at me a couple of times, but he rarely spoke the first day of the journey to Ostagar. No apology, no sorry for your loss, nothing. I needed comforting and assumed he had not been with a woman for a long time. That night, by firelight, I took his hand and placed it to my heart. He shuddered and told me we could not fraternize that way. But I ignored the comment, told him I needed him and then I kissed him. Just like that. He resisted briefly, but then a passion rose in him that was almost crushing. Just when I thought I had won, he pushed me away. Duty to the Wardens, the Blight, blah, blah, blah. I was embarrassed and angry. I cursed him for taking me away from Highever. We barely spoke again until we reached Ostagar. Imagine? Three days of almost complete silence. When we arrived, he told me to seek out Alistair, and that we would be a good pairing. My pride was quite hurt… but when I saw Alistair, everything changed. I forgot about Duncan." Elissa sighed wistfully, guilt tugging at her over her treatment of Alistair.

"And here, that story shall end." Zevran remarked bitterly. " Since we are speaking of romance, answer me this; dwarf, qunari, human, or elf? Who is the better lover?"

"Are you trying to trap me into saying something I might regret, Arainai? Actually, this should be easy...for me. I often wondered what it would be like to have sex with Sten. I've never had a qunari in any capacity except friend. I understand it can be deadly for a woman. The only dwarf I have known well was Oghren. And…well, yuck. I mean I love him, but…yuck. Humans on the other hand, are delightful. Alistair was adequate, but not…naughty…ever. Now Riordan; he would have been an animal in bed. I fantasized about him on occasion…no offense, love. Alas, he died too soon. What few other human men I slept with were good enough. But, if we are talking about superior sex, I would have to say…the elf has my vote. The one and only elf I have ever made love with. But my history with men is not as varied as yours. I mean women…uh…both in your case."

"Very true. I should think you would like to be with another woman, no? Being so familiar with the female parts and all."

"I have never really considered that idea. Hm. I will have to think on that."

"Yes, well do include me if you ever have a mind to experiment. Myself, I have never slept with a Qunari woman. Not that I would refuse, but the opportunity never arose. A dwarven woman can be quite wicked. They are not as modest as humans, ready to try anything."

"And the men? We have not spoken much about your relations with other men. Would you mind… telling me?"

"Not at all. I do prefer a woman's soft touch to a man's coarseness. My experiences with men were necessary at the time. I did enjoy some, but mostly it was a means to an end…their end. The Rivaini prince I snatched your earring from was quite enjoyable. He was young and supple, and inexperienced. I taught him a thing or two before I slit his throat! I was partial to being the teacher, not the student. When I was forced to do things…well, it was quite degrading." His face went blank for a moment.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Zevran. I did not mean for you to think of any awful incidents that occurred. I know you have suffered greatly. It pains me to think of your anguish. I hope the bastards were slaughtered violently."

"That they were, my dear."

"Let's move on to happier thoughts, yes? Favorite food? Preferred weapon? Best…" She fell silent. "Zevran, my warden senses…are tingling. We are near the Keep and…all around us…I sense so many…" They leapt off the horses and walked along the path to the Keep in stealth.

"Keep on the alert, my dear. I smell death." Zevran applied poison to their blades as they stepped over the corpses that littered the trail.

"The Keep has been overrun by darkspawn. This could be the fight of our lives, Zevran." She had fear in her eyes, the like he had never seen before.

"Commander! You are here! Darkspawn have taken over the Keep! I am Mhairi, at your service!" she shouted as she bashed an emissary with her shield and cut him in two with her sword. _Blast it all! _They appeared out of nowhere.

"Zevran! On your right!" He spun around, and his blades flew in every direction. Blood splattered the ground and their armor, grunting sounds broke through, and the three were surrounded.

"Shall we compete for points, my love?"

Elissa eyed Zevran like he was a lunatic and shook her head. _ Always with the jokes._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Frantically, they fought the infinite onslaught of darkspawn. Just when they thought they could not hold out a moment longer, the last of them went down, blood and body parts spewed all around. Elissa surveyed the damage to her little group. Mhairi was no worse for the wear. _Very exceptional for a woman, _Elissa thought._ She could best most men, maybe._ "Mhairi, is everything satisfactory with you? You are a very impressive fighter, by the way."

Mhairi caught her breath and spoke with an assertive tone. "I am fine, Commander. And thank you for your kind words. Varel, the Seneschal, he is the keep's steward and he sent me to bring you back to see him."

"Why didn't the wardens sense the darkspawn coming?" Elissa could not understand how the Keep could have been ambushed.

"I know not, Commander. There are a dozen or so wardens here. But from the look of things, they may not have survived the attack."

Elissa turned her attention towards Zevran. He was resting on the ground, a bit stunned and disoriented. _No smart comments? Something must be wrong. _"Zevran, are you alright?" she asked intently.

He let out a heavy breath. "I think I am a bit out of shape. That should have been easier than it was, no?"

"I agree. The darkspawn seemed different. I can't quite put my finger on it, but they were more…organized in their attack. This can't be good." She kneeled down beside him, looking at his face, and clutched his hand tightly.

"No damage to my appearance I hope?" he asked with a narcissistic grin.

"Still handsome as ever." She eyed his leathers and noticed a fair amount of blood below his armor. "Zevran, you're bleeding! Let me see…" After inspecting the wound, she glared at him scornfully. "What is the matter with you? You thought to hide this from me!"

"Just a scratch, my dear. No worries." The ache from his injury was apparent in the scowl he wore on his face.

"It is not just a scratch. Mhairi, should we encounter any more darkspawn, take the lead and deal some heavy damage, and then guide them to me. I will finish them off. I knew we should have taken a healer with us!"

"Yes, Commander," Mhairi said stoically.

"Do not treat me like a hurt child. I can still fight, Elissa. Make way." Zevran pushed on his upper limbs to stand, the throbbing causing him to grimace. He was unsteady and Elissa grabbed for his arm to stabilize him.

"Please, Zevran. No heroics. I need you alive. So do as I say and stay back. That is an order!"

He simply nodded, not giving her the satisfaction of a verbal agreement. _I hate when she gets bossy,_ he thought.

"Mhairi, please lead us to the Keep's entrance."

Adrenaline pumped through Elissa's veins. She was worried about the other wardens and what she would find inside the Keep, but even more concerned for Zevran. They took care of what few darkspawn were left on the grounds before they headed inside. Zevran was in a great deal of pain and he would never admit it, but she felt it as if it was her own.

As they opened the doors, they were met with even more genlocks and hurlocks. They came at the three in unrelenting waves of ferocity. Mhairi took down the more powerful emissaries and Elissa took care of the grunts and archers. The two women worked together to eradicate the rest. Elissa's skills were pressed to the maximum and her energy was almost completely drained. Zevran tried to counter when he could, but his injuries were bad enough to render him mostly ineffective.

When the end of the skirmish came, Zevran looted what he could, trying to remain useful. They saw a closed door beckoning to them on the upper level. "Let's see where that leads. Maybe we can find a medic or some poultices." Elissa led Zevran up the stairs, supporting him the entire way. He detested being so weak and helpless. He began to feel even more lightheaded and he knew he would pass out soon.

"Zevran, stay with me. Focus, please. Keep your eyes open, damn you!" His blood was all over her now. She was a breath away from panic, but her training kept her from falling apart. _Get it together, Elissa._ She propped him up and opened the door, weapon ready. Inside the room, she was surprised to find only a mage, a pile of burnt darkspawn bodies, and several dead templars.

"Um... I didn't do it," said the mage. Elissa helped Zevran to sit down on the floor and leaned him against a wall. He was growing paler by the minute. She gave him the last of the health poultices to try and stabilize him. Then, she turned her attention to the mage.

"And who in the Maker's name are you?" Elissa made a mental note of his resemblance to Alistair.

"I am Anders. Mage, and wanted apostate."

"An apostate? And the Templars brought you here to imprison you before bringing you to the Circle, and now they are conveniently dead…right. Can you heal this man?"

"If I have a mind to, I am quite a talented healer, _and…_who are you?" he asked smugly.

Elissa drew her blades with such quickness that they all winced. She had Anders by the neck, one dagger pointed at his jugular, and the other held against his crotch.

"Heal, or you will lose that which you treasure most, Mage. I am Elissa Cousland, Commander of the Grey Wardens."

"Well, when you put it like that…" Elissa released her hold on him and he dropped down to his knees to begin the healing. _Commander? As in the hero of Ferelden, married to King Alistair?_ Anders was quite curious about this turn of events.

Even though he was almost unconscious, Zevran admired her feistiness._ What a woman__. _

Anders held his hands on Zevran's flanks for a few minutes, as the healing energy passed between the two men. The color slowly came back to Zevran's face and his eyes began to open fully.

Elissa caressed his arm and felt his body starting to warm. "Any better, Zevran?"

"Much better, my dear. And thank you Anders." He nodded towards the Mage.

"My pleasure, Warden. You will need another round or two of healing before the day is done." Anders said with a hint of disdain.

"No, no. I am not a Warden. I am Zevran, Zev to my…just call me Zev." He eyed Elissa and she grinned.

"You will come with us while we clean out the darkspawn and _then_ we will speak of what to do with you. For now, you do as I command. Understood?" She was so relieved to find a mage _and_ he was a healer, too. _Things are looking up._

"Since it is my only option at the moment, I will be happy to accompany such lovely ladies." Elissa sensed a good heart beneath his swagger and smiled congenially.

"Good. And…thanks for healing my...fellow brother in arms. Keep an eye on Zevran and mend him as needed. And you, Zevran…don't push it, or else."

"I do not think I could live through another tortuous punishment of yours, my Grey Warden."

"I'm glad to see your sense of humor has returned, Zevran. I think we will need your levity to get us through the Keep today."

Anders and Mhairi studied the two as they conversed. They were clearly close friends. _Are they… involved?_ Anders wondered. Anders wasn't sure what to make of this development. The last he had heard, the Commander of the Grey was also the Queen of Ferelden. He decided to hold back with his questions. No need to have another dagger or two at his throat.

Darkspawn infiltrated every corner the fortress. As they navigated their way through the corridors and rooms of the Keep, Anders' magic proved quite useful. His pockets were loaded up with lyrium and he cast spells with abandon, shooting fire and ice at anything that moved.

Just as a hurlock was about to crash an axe down on Elissa's head, Oghren split the darkspawn's skull in two. "Die, you filthy nug humper!" Oghren wiped the brains off his face and laughed heartily. "Heh, heh! Palace life has made ya slow, Warden. All that hot elf sex keep ya from getting here quicker?"

"Oghren, how did you end up here?" Elissa looked at Zevran hoping to see a comforting expression, but all she got was a wink and a nod.

"Well, rumor was you dumped the King and took off for the Keep with the elf. I thought you might need some help. And maybe…I would try my hand at the Warden thing."

Elissa cringed at Oghren's words. _Blast it all, everyone knows. _"You want to join the Grey Wardens? Really? This is quit fascinating. You know the risks involved in the Joining, and you know your life will be…shortened?"

"Yeah, yeah. The Calling, the taint, and the pays sucks, right? I'm bored with family life. So, what about it, eh?" "What of Felsi and your child, Oghren?"

"Felsi doesn't need my help. I'll send her some coin every once in a while and she'll keep her trap shut about it." Oghren twirled his beard, casually waiting for her response.

"If you say so, but I think Felsi will hunt you down. She doesn't like to lose. At any rate, if it is what _you_ truly want, you are welcome to join."

"Aye. Good to hear, Warden…hey Zev!"

"Hey Oghren!"

"I have something to say to you!"

Zevran was casually leaning against the wall. "I am all ears, as we elves like to say."

"Good on ya! Stealing the Queen from that sap of a King and all."

"Finally, a compliment from the dwarf…and, there was no stealing of a queen. It was a mutual decision to…"

"Alright! Enough banter. We have a job to do and you two can catch up later." Glaring at Zevran, Elissa took him aside.

"Everyone knows the truth. Alistair is being spiteful and he wants to see me squirm, damn him. I don't know what this will mean for us. You see, I knew this wasn't going to be simple."

"Don't worry, my love. You are Commander of the Grey, almost untouchable."

She looked into his warm, amber eyes. "Yes, it's the _almost_ part that worries me. I will think about all this later. Let's press forward. And, incidentally, I am so thankful you are by my side, alive, Zevran. For a moment there, I was scared I might lose you. Don't do that to me again, lover," she whispered.

"Yes ma'am. You have my word. Soooo, with the cat out of the bag as they say, may I give you a kiss?" She did not answer and he did not wait. Their lips collided in unadulterated affection and relief. Elissa pulled away blushing.

Anders glanced at Mhairi, eye brows raised. _Annnnd, there is the answer to that question. _

Elissa smirked at Zevran and turned to her companions. "Oghren, I would like you to meet Anders and Mhairi."

"Yeah, the soldier with the nice rack. How are ya? And you…a mage, huh? What's it like?"

"What is what like? To have all this power at my fingertips?" Anders chuckled.

"No. To always have to wear a skirt? Heh heh!"

"Very funny, boys. Now, let's get a move on." Elissa led the group through a door to the exterior. When they rounded the corner, they saw Varel being held hostage by a bulky and surprisingly well dressed darkspawn.

"He has Varel." Mhairi stated. Three darkspawn body guards surrounded Varel and his captor. The leader was leaning over with a sword to the Seneschal's throat, and it appeared he was speaking into Varel's ear.

Elissa was taken aback and whispered to Zevran. "He seems so…civilized."

Zevran was just as shocked with its demeanor. "Yes, very calm and… is that thing…talking?"

"Holy Maker..." Elissa breathed.

Oghren heaved his battleaxe into the air. "Well, let's shut it up already!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The talking darkspawn proved to be a tough opponent to put down. Anders' healing magic was pushed to the maximum, as his companion's injuries were sometimes severe. Varel had crawled away from the fray and watched Elissa with admiration_. I can see why she is now Commander. Such a skilled fighter, _he thought.They went at the creature from all sides, and Elissa made the final blow knocking it to the ground with a thud.

With a last, calm breath, it spoke quietly to the Commander. "You know not of our kind, human…that will soon be changed."

Elissa was stunned at the words it spoke, but realized Varel needed attention. She rushed over and helped him to stand. "Commander, I owe you a debt of gratitude. Thank you for saving my life. Alas, I am uninjured, although I do not know exactly why it did not kill me. I think it was waiting…for you."

"Me? It must have sensed me…knew I was coming here. Tell me, what happened during the attack."

"The darkspawn came from nowhere…and everywhere. The Wardens did not sense them until they were upon us, Commander."

"Did any Wardens survive?" She asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"Captain Gareval yet lives, but only because he was locked in the throne room with me."

"I see. And the rest? Where are their bodies?" she asked skeptically.

Varel raised an eyebrow. "I do not know. I think the darkspawn…took them."

"Took them? To what end?" She shook her head in disbelief. "I have never known a darkspawn to make off with the dead for any reason."

"We have never known of them to speak either. It is very unsettling."

Varel continued to tell Elissa about the ambush. The others paced nervously, waiting for a command to be issued. Stopping the conversation, Elissa looked out in the distance, and heard the peal of the Royal Horns.

"Varel, is that what I think it is?" Wide-eyed, she silently hoped for a different answer than the one she received.

"It seems we have more company…friendlier at least. That is the Royal Army, Commander."

"And King Alistair is with them, I assume." _Damn him, _Elissa thought.

"Yes. He sent a messenger with word of his travel. He is bringing us reinforcements."

"Maker's breath. Zevran, you had better make yourself scarce," she said with a hint of authority.

"I will not. We will face each other as men and nothing less." Zevran crossed his arms and dug his boots in the ground.

She begged him with her eyes. "Can't you at least humor me, please?"

"No, I am sorry, my dear. This is how it must be for me. You understand, yes?" He asked with a tiny smirk on his face.

"Fine. Yes, but I don't approve, just so you know. Please…say nothing or he may try to kill you, and then I would have to get involved, and it would get messy…fast." She scoffed at his insolence, but she would not force the issue.

Zevran tipped his head in compliance. He would be silent, for a little while at least. Varel led the party down to greet the King and his army. Elissa thought she might vomit from the knots twisting in her stomach. _Blasted elf._ As usual, Zevran looked as cool as ice, but she could sense some tension as he stared in the direction of the coming soldiers. She stood next to Varel, with Zevran at her side. The others stood behind her with nervous anticipation of the coming visitors. The marching feet approached and then she saw him, in his Golden Armor, looking quite smug.

"Your Highness, how splendid of you to bring reinforcements." Varel decided to be the group spokesman, feeling the anxiety oozing from Elissa.

"Seneschal Varel, a pleasure to see you. What is the situation?" Alistair kept his eyes on Varel, although it was terribly difficult not to look at her. Zevran's presence was causing his blood to boil, but he kept calm.

"The darkspawn ambushed the Keep and they overtook it. The Commander here, and her companions, rescued us…and me from the grips of a talking darkspawn."

"What? One that speaks?" he asked, as if it were a joke.

"Yes. And the other creatures were very…capable and organized in their purpose."

"This is most unsettling, Varel. You should be able to find suitable recruits for the Grey Wardens with the soldiers I have brought. I trust you to take care of things. I will leave you these reinforcements to help restore the damage done to the Keep, and for your protection. Unfortunately, I must take my leave to handle a situation in the Bannorn. Farewell, Varel." He reached out to shake Varel's hand when a Templar marched forward, signaling to Alistair.

She pointed at Anders. "Your Majesty, beware. That man is a dangerous mage and a wanted apostate. I wish to take him into custody."

Alistair waved his hand at the Templar. "Fine, Ser. Do what you must."

Elissa stepped forward and spoke quickly. "I wish to invoke the Right of Conscription…Your Highness."

"What? He is a murderer, Sire!" The Templar protested, furious at the thought of Anders being set free.

"The Wardens still retain this right, Ser. I will have to allow it." Alistair sighed, defeated once again.

"But Sire…if you think it is best. As you say, Sire." The Templar stormed away shaking her head bitterly.

Elissa looked at the King and bowed her head. "Thank you, your Highness."

"Such a charitable King. We are all impressed with your benevolence, _Sire_." Zevran's smart comment pushed Alistair to end all proper discussion.

"I would keep my mouth shut if I were you Arainai!" The King moved his hand to the hilt of his sword.

"Apologies, Most High Savior of the People." Zevran bowed in fake reverence. Elissa felt her heart pounding out of her chest.

"You dare mock me, elf! Draw your weapons!" Alistair pulled out his sword abruptly, and just as quickly, Zevran had his weapons ready in a defensive posture. The soldiers were prepared to rally around the King when Elissa sprang in front of Zevran, her daggers pointed towards Alistair.

"You will have to go through me first, Alistair!" Her steely glare was as serious as Alistair had ever seen.

"Elissa, you would die for this…pig? He is a user, a hired killer who cares only for himself and his unearthly desires!" Alistair sensed the soldiers were ready to seize upon Elissa. "Hold, men. Do not retaliate!" He took a deep breath and looked at her. "Elissa, I did not come here for this." The King walked away from the group glaring at Elissa. She knew he had something specific to say and he did not want everyone to overhear, so she followed him.

She looked into his once loving eyes, and all she could see was hatred and disgust. He was a broken man. "I need to tell you something. I think you should know that I plan to marry Anora after our annulment is final." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Annulment? Anora? What…are you insane? She will betray you, Alistair! Please, reconsider this decision! You really do not know what she is capable of! She is a… corrupt woman!"

"She knows politics and has proven herself skilled at ruling. She will bear me a child. An heir. Something you could never do. It is a sensible pairing." His voice was flat and indifferent.

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, as all her past failures sprang to mind. "I am sorry I could not give you what you wanted so desperately. But, I fear those are Arl Eamon's words, Alistair. Do not let them bully you into this marriage. It will be your undoing." She warned him with such desperation in her voice that she surprised herself.

He knew she was right, but he had lost all ambition for any type of greatness or contentment in his life. "I have already been betrayed and humiliated, among other things. What more can happen that has not already? In any case, your opinion means nothing to me, _Commander_."

His words hurt her deeply and she realized just how much he despised her. "I see. Well, I wish you all the best, Alistair. I truly do." She turned to walk away when he spoke up.

"Commander, keep me informed of the darkspawn situation," he said emphatically. Elissa did not turn to answer him. She just nodded and kept walking towards Zevran. Alistair stood there for a moment to gather himself and then made his way over to Varel. "I must go now, Seneschal. Good luck with the Keep." He turned on his heels and strode away apathetically.

Elissa took hold of Zevran's hand and squeezed it tightly. Knowing to keep silent for the moment, he returned the gesture with equal strength. Her usual tough shell was nonexistent at that moment. Even Oghren knew to keep his mouth closed. The others just shuffled their feet and looked at the ground.

Mortified, she looked at Varel. He did not seem troubled by any of what had just transpired. She smiled and said, "Let us go to the throne room and discuss our plans."

"As you wish, Commander." He led the way to the entry.

As Elissa followed her party through the doors, she was immediately struck by the room's splendor. A large fireplace in the center of the room cast a serene glow all around. The walls were covered in ornate tapestries and striking portraits. Hundreds of books were shelved up to the ceiling and along the walls. The Wardens had kept the room as the Howe's had left it, minus any depiction of Rendon Howe. She moved closer to the Seneschal and offered an apology.

"I am sorry Varel. That incident with the King was quite embarrassing and terribly inappropriate. I trust you will keep it to yourself?" she asked, her eyes lowered.

"Of course, Commander. Consider it forgotten. Moving on, our situation here has stabilized thanks to you and your companions. Thank the Maker you arrived when you did."

Needing to feel more in control, she straightened up and authoritatively asked a question. "Tell me, what are the most pressing issues at the moment?"

"We have a prisoner in the dungeon that needs your attention. He gave the guards quite a hard time before they captured him. I believe he was here to steal from the Keep. But, you may want to question him directly in case he is in the employ of any nefarious factions. Also, we need to get on with the Joining as soon possible."

She let out a deep sigh. "I will see to the prisoner and the Joining after I have a bit of a rest. If nothing else is of the essence, can you direct me to a room I can use and possibly send some bath water?"

"Of course. Go up the stairs and the third room on the right should be satisfactory. I will have the water sent up at once." Varel motioned to the guards.

Elissa nodded to him and gestured at Zevran to follow her.

"A word if I may, Commander?" Anders appeared in front of her, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I just wanted to thank you for…keeping me alive. The Templars would have killed me before we made it to the Circle, of that I am certain. And here I am, about to become a Grey Warden. Strange…anyhow, I owe you, Commander."

"No thanks are necessary, Anders. And please, call me Elissa. We are friends now, and we will be equals as Grey Wardens, after the Joining. I need to have a rest, but make yourself comfortable and see to the others needs, if you will. Thanks for all your help today." Her brain was mush and she was far too tired to make anymore conversation.

_Did she just put me in charge? Well, in charge of a drunken dwarf, and a crazed, lady warrior. I don't think she is as tough as she looks, either. Hmmm. _In the brief time he had spent with her that day, Anders understood why these men had fallen in love with her. Her stunning blonde hair with equally dazzling sapphire eyes, a powerful, lean body and a quick, resourceful mind all came together in one magnificent gift from the Maker. She fiercely defended her friends and would die for one in particular, maybe even all of them. _What more could a man want?_

Zevran leaned over seductively and whispered in her ear. "I think I know what you need, amor." She managed to smile for him and the two left for her chambers, leaving Anders a bit bewildered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

As they climbed the stairs together, Zevran paused and asked, "Are you alright…I mean, are you yourself…after seeing him?"

"I am…tired, Zevran. And filthy, in case you haven't noticed. I never expected to see him so soon after our last meeting. Can you believe he intends to marry Anora? She will have him jump from the tower soon enough," she snickered, and then became somber. "He hates me, thinks me a vile person." Her eyes went cold. "I repulse him. I could see it in his eyes. Am I really that dreadful?" Pondering that question, she continued to walk up to the hallway.

"No, of course not. That was just his anger and bitterness talking. You are a most admirable person…_the_ most admirable person I have ever known. Otherwise, you would never have stepped in front of his sword to spare me. And…although I think I know the answer, why exactly did you do that? He could have run you through by accident." Zevran said with a trace of irritation in his voice.

She pushed open the door to their room. The accommodations were more pleasant than she had expected. A place to lay her head and a bathtub were all she required and she had both at her disposal. Plus a feathery comforter, some down pillows and a couch near a fireplace. She sat down on the edge of the bed and summoned Zevran over with a wave of her hand. As he sat beside her, she took hold of his hands tenderly. "You need to ask me that? You are the one and only thing in my life that is sacred, Zevran. I would give my life for you, as you would for me. You give my existence purpose and meaning, far more than any position in the Wardens could ever do, and far more than any person has ever done." She pulled him close and clung to him as if she would never see him again. Putting her lips to his ear, she whispered in a sultry voice. "Besides, Alistair is granting me an annulment…and I need a husband."

He drew back from her embrace. "So _there_ is the bright side to our day. And glad I am to hear it, my love." He brushed her cheek with his hand and smiled.

"By the way, big mouth…what possessed _you_ to say those things to Alistair? We could have both been killed then and there."

"I could not control myself. He was so arrogant and…phony, with his Royal swagger. I had to say something, but I am sorry it caused you distress." Zevran was not sorry. He had been waiting for a moment like that for months. "Alas, I fear I am in need of punishment, yes? Or…better yet, a little rest before the next round of excitement?" he said with a devious grin.

"Who are you? Where is Zevran?" She laughed at her own joke, an endearing quirk Zevran had come to love. "Rest, bah. I prefer the punishment idea. Get that armor off, rogue. I need a little release from the stress of the day, and I would like to forget what happened with Alistair."

"Actually my dear, I fear my injuries preclude me from doing anything too deviant tonight." He sulked for her benefit, but she leaned over with a glint of mischief in her eye.

"Very well then, love. Relax and I will show my adoration for _you_." She traced her finger along his facial tattoo, and then placed a soothing, sweet kiss on his lips while pushing his shoulders back on to the bed. Straddling him, she held his hands so his arms rested alongside his head. She planted tiny kisses all around his face and letting go of his arms, ran her fingers through his flaxen hair. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and said warmly, "I think I know what you desire, Ser." A squeeze here and a pinch there, she made her way down his muscular torso, past his stomach, swirling her tongue on his bronzed skin. She moved steadily to his erection and immediately took the whole of him into her mouth and began bobbing up and down as he sighed. She licked all around his shaft, before taking him in once more.

With eyes closed, he spoke softly, "Mmmm…that tongue…You are quite the naughty soldier, aren't you?"

She unlocked her lips for a moment. "You have no idea, Ser." she purred, and back down she went. His hips rocked to her rhythmic sucking and he grabbed for her wavy, blonde mane as she brought him closer to the edge…until a knock on the door interrupted the moment.

"Your water, my lady." shouted the servant.

"Brasca! Bath time, I presume." he said unhappily.

Elissa sat up and patted him on the shoulder, speaking in a cheery tone that made him cringe. "So sorry, dear Zevran. The cleaner the better, I always say. I thought you were a man with great powers of control?" Sitting up, he flipped his hair behind his ears, but did not join in her laughter.

The servant filled the tub with the warm, soapy water and left. Zevran offered to wash her hair, and any other parts that needed attention. She climbed in and the tensions of the day melted away as he massaged her scalp with his powerful fingers. "Too bad only one can fit in this blasted tub!" he commented in frustration.

"Mmmmm. But then I wouldn't be getting this wonderful head massage," she said selfishly. "Tell me, do you remember the exact moment you fell in love with me?" she asked with a coy grin on her lips.

"Well now, I _could_ say it was when you decided not to kill me, but you know that would be a lie. Let me think on this for a minute." He took several deep breaths and continued. "You know, I really just wanted to get you into my bed for the longest time. You were very frustrating…I never had to work so hard for a lover. Of course, that made it all the more vital for me to win you over, and to show up that fool, Alistair."

"Yes, it was obvious that your giant ego suffered quite a bit. I did rather enjoy that. But, truthfully, I didn't know how long I could go without letting you carry me off by force." Elissa tipped her head back so he could rinse her hair, and his lips met hers, albeit upside down.

"So, I could have had you sooner? Cruel woman, you are." He began pouring the water on her scalp and let some splash across her face, for effect.

"Hey! No need to be so ill-humored." She sneered as he wiped the water away with a towel.

"Back to your original question, then. I believe I have the answer you seek." Zevran moved to the side of the tub to face her. "Early in our adventures, I did not understand what it meant to love someone. But, I saw how Alistair was with you, that he loved you, and I knew _I_ had the same feelings for you. I was horribly jealous and that jealousy made me realize that I needed you, not just as a lover, but as a companion, to be at your side, always. You were unlike anyone I had ever known… so altruistic...I did not know that could even exist within a person."

"You say that like it's a _bad_ thing."

"No, no. Not a bad thing, a dangerous thing, yes, but never bad. When you fell ill after the Circle Tower, I was fearful you would die. I was never afraid of anything until that moment." Zevran looked away. "For days, you were unresponsive." The memory of his desperation sent him back in time for a moment.

"You stayed with me night and day. I could hear you talking sometimes, telling me stories of Antiva and The Crows. I tried to speak but… it was like my mouth had been sewn shut. Alistair hated that you were there, but Wynne allowed it and he couldn't argue with her. Wynne told me everything, you see. I think she secretly wanted us to be together." Elissa smiled at the thought of Wynne being so wily.

"Ah, of course she did. Well, when you finally opened your eyes, I was alone with you in the tent. You winked at me. I thought it was odd, but then you said 'Zevran, thank you for your conversations with me.' What I had forgotten was that I had told you I wanted to stay with you eternally, because you had saved me. I did not think you could hear me. I was just trying to get you to respond, and so I was a bit loose-lipped. I convinced myself that you did not hear my overtures and that your reaction was from fatigue and delirium."

"I remember waking to your face. I was so relieved it was you, and not Alistair. He was so…depressing at times." She thought of Alistair as a little puppy, so in need of praise and love.

"That was the moment, my dear. I swore to myself to never leave your side, to keep you safe from all harm, as long as you would have me."

"And here you are, with me." Tenderly, he pulled her head to his, forehead to forehead, yearning in their eyes, and he kissed her lips as softly and as purely as he ever had.

"Zevran, I am so thankful things worked out for us. We are a good pair, you know. However, I am turning into a prune. I'll get out and you can have at it…have at the bath I mean." She giggled and stepped out into the towel he held for her. Zevran jumped into the tub and scrubbed himself ever so slowly, making sure not to miss one inch of skin.

After drying off, Elissa moved back to the pillows on the bed, and spread herself out. She was wearing a soft, red velvet robe, just open at her thighs. "Hurry up, lover. You are so slow…and so vain! I am getting bored waiting for you here on this cold bed." Elissa put on a full blown pout for his enjoyment. Her eyes were full of wanton lust.

"Are you now? I'm sure I could think of something to entertain you with when I am done bathing." He flashed a wide grin and an indulgent look at her naked legs. "My dear, you look like a goddess…a deadly goddess, ready to strike me down with lightning."

She wanted to feel Zevran, on her, in her. She _needed_ to feel him. He could see the desire burning within her. A faint smile came to Zevran's lips_. _His earlier injury would make things particularly challenging, but he was certain to give it his best shot. After all, they had a healer in the party now.

He dried off and jumped onto the bed, stretching out like a tiger in the sun. She rolled to face him and pressed her lips to his with such passion, he flinched a bit. "Please, lover…"

"Tell Zevran what you want, what you need." He climbed onto her, his hands sliding into her hair and gently tugging at her locks. He grabbed her breasts with both hands and worked them roughly, all the while staring into her azure eyes. Watching her face, he waited for direction.

"I need you, to feel you…inside me." she whispered seductively.

Her back arched, and she pulled him down for another kiss. He paused and said, "I love you, Elissa." The words sent her to the point of no return. She bucked her hips and he entered her instantly, moaning aloud the second she felt him.

Then Zevran began to thrust a little more, then a little faster. "Zevran…I am yours…" Her hands wrapped around him and she squeezed his back with all the strength she had. She pounded his hips with hers and he let go a small whimper. "Are you alright?" she asked as she stopped all movement.

"Do not worry, my dear. I am fit as a fiddle. Please, continue."

She thrust even more frantically, and then she was at the precipice. "Zevran, come with me, please…"

He moved as quickly as his body would allow and she moaned, completely pleasured. The sounds of her satisfaction pushed him over the edge, too. Then, he collapsed in heap next to her, nearly out of breath.

"Zevran," she panted, "That was... most excellent."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Several hours had passed, and it was time for Elissa and Zevran to get on with the questioning of the prisoner and the Joining ritual. "Ready to reign supreme, my dear Commander?" Zevran teased her, knowing she was a bit wary of the Commander role.

"Ready as I will ever be, Master Arainai. Remember, you are my second-in-command, so act accordingly."

"Of course, my liege." Zevran bowed for her amusement. She was putting on her armor; specifically, the chest piece. Zevran had given her a fine, Antivan leather set of armor after the Archdemon was slain. "I have your back, you know this. And, it is quite a lovely back to gaze upon." He grinned while he looked her up and down.

"Didn't see enough of me earlier?" she inquired.

"I am never completely satisfied," he sighed. He gave her deep, passionate kiss while stroking her long, blonde hair. "We had best get downstairs before I feel compelled to tie you up and have my way with you, mi amor," he whispered alluringly. After another adoring embrace, he braided her hair in a long ponytail. It was one chore he had come to love. They left their chambers and headed downstairs.

Varel walked over to the two rogues with some papers in his hands. "Greetings, Commander. I trust you are well rested?"

"Yes, thank you for the accommodations. They are very…satisfying." She winked at Zevran and resumed her conversation. "And, please, call me Elissa. I will question the prisoner first, and then we can perform the Joining. Is that acceptable to you, Varel?"

"Yes…Elissa. I will join you in the dungeon after I attend to a few documents that need reviewing."

Elissa and Zevran headed towards the massive wooden doors that led to the grounds of the Keep. He held the door open for her like a true gentleman. It was a sunny day, although still on the chilly side. Elissa shivered a bit as the cool air ran over her skin. "Thinking of me again, my dear?" Zevran asked curiously.

"You wish, lover. I was just startled by the cold air." She looked to him and asked, "Zevran? The mage, Anders? Does he remind you of anyone?"

"Ah, I was wondering if you had noticed, too. He could pass for Alistair's brother, no? Does that… make you want him?" he asked playfully.

"I…what? Zevran...you are…Maker's breath. No, I do not _want_ him. Just making conversation. It was a little surprising is all." She rolled her eyes at his question. "Anyway, I think we should go to Amaranthine tomorrow, to check on the status of the city."

"Finally, I have something to look forward to. It should be far more interesting than all this bleak countryside. A bit of fine food and drink, maybe a nubile wench or two?" She punched his arm while shooting him a dirty look. "Ow! You hurt my good arm! That may come back to haunt you during the throes of passion, my dear," he said with a lecherous grin.

Zevran walked behind her as they descended the dungeon stairs. She noticed a chest near the cell, and peeked inside. "A rogue's gear," she whispered, glancing at Zevran. He nodded in agreement.

A guard was posted at the cell door. "Here is the prisoner, Commander."

Elissa waved her hand towards the exit and said, "Please, leave us to speak with him alone."

Once the soldier was gone, she opened the door to the enclosed space. Zevran stood guard behind her, outside the cell. The prisoner was sitting on the floor, his arms shackled to the wall. Something about him was familiar, but she could not place his face.

"Well now, my first visitor is none other than the Hero of Ferelden. Truly, I am honored." he said sarcastically.

"Don't be. What is your name?" she said unimpressed with his arrogance.

"You do not recognize me? Do I not resemble my father, not even a bit? You should remember his face well, as you murdered him not so long ago," he said stone-faced.

"Nathaniel?" Elissa was stunned. They were childhood friends; children of nobles, always thrown together when their fathers met to discuss politics. Over the years, their relationship grew to that of young teenagers dreaming of faraway places; of knights in shining armor rescuing damsels in distress. They loved each other, as much as any young person can love another. And then he was sent to the Free Marches, leaving her alone and despondent. She thought she would never see him again.

Elissa regained her composure and scolded him like a child. "Your father brought about his own death with treachery and disloyalty! He had my family murdered in cold blood and burned down my home, right in front of my eyes! Do not speak of him like he was someone to be respected! He was an evil, conniving man!" Fighting back the tears, she felt Zevran's hand on her shoulder. She shook her head and waited for Nathaniel to speak.

"I was in the Free Marches for years, unaware of my family's doings. You can't expect me to believe what you say is true!" Nathaniel's eyes fell, and he stared at the ground. He took a deep breath and then fixed his eyes on her. "Liss, you have changed since we last saw one another. You have become….hardened."

She softened her tone and relaxed her deep stare. "Yes, I have, and you can thank your father for that, too. I have no reason to lie to you Nathaniel. We were very close once. Surely you must remember?"

"I do. I do remember that time, fondly." She saw the confusion in his eyes. He wanted to believe her, but he had always worshipped his father and the truth was hard to swallow. "I came here for revenge. I came to kill you. But…I realized that I only wanted some of our family heirlooms, as a remembrance. The Howe name has been disgraced…we are outcasts in Ferelden now."

"You can redeem the Howe name, Nathaniel. I could help…give you an opportunity to regain the respect your father threw away."

"And you think the King, _your husband_, would agree to this? Why would you help me, Liss…after what has happened between our families?"

"The King has no authority over the Grey Wardens, and I believe everyone deserves a second chance. This is your second chance. You can take it, or, if you prefer, die by the noose?"

Zevran was very interested in this new development. Zevran contemplated the circumstances. _An old flame, using a nickname, and she wants to save him? Former friends, no worries. _ He always thought her trustworthiness would be her downfall one day. He intended to keep a close eye on this one.

Varel and the guard had come in and walked towards the cell. "Varel, this is Nathaniel Howe," Elissa announced.

"A Howe. That explains much. What would like to do with him then?"

Elissa looked into Nathaniel eyes and saw the boy she once knew for moment. "You clearly have the skills needed for survival and we could use more men like you to defeat the darkspawn."

"What exactly do you propose?" Nathaniel was relieved to hear that she had an offer for him. He certainly did not want to die if at all possible. Now he had options, maybe.

"Varel, I wish to invoke the right of conscription," she stated ardently.

"On the prisoner? Are you sure, Elissa?" Varel was taken aback by her statement.

"No, I refuse to join the Wardens!" Nathaniel spat at her.

"You would rather die then? Think for a moment, Nathaniel. Think of the good you could do, as a Howe, on the side of righteousness and good. You deserve this chance." Her sapphire eyes were gleaming as she tried to convince him to do what she thought was right. "You _can_ find redemption…That is my decision. What is yours?"

He looked at her, still dumbfounded by her proposition. Death was not an option for him. However, becoming a Grey Warden was not much better, but he was no coward. "I will agree to this. If only to try and recover some dignity."

She smiled brightly at him. "Good choice, Nathaniel. Let's see if you survive the Joining then, shall we?"

"Survive? Maybe the noose is preferable," he quipped.

She unshackled him from the wall. "Nonsense, Nathaniel. You will be fine, I know it. Grab your armor and weapons from the chest." Elissa led the group out of the dungeon towards the throne room.

Zevran walked at her side, closer than usual. "Don't worry, Zevran. He will not harm me."

"Tsk. Such trust in a man you have not known for years. Honestly, Elissa, you will be the death of me. You are too good," he lamented. She just patted his shoulder and smiled, grateful that his concern was genuine.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: A quick note of thanks for the kind words, and to those who put my stories on their alerts._

**Chapter 8**

Varel was already prepared for the Joining. "It is time, Elissa. But, I am afraid I must ask your friend Zevran to leave. As you know, we must retain the traditions of secrecy and sanctity." Zevran nodded to her with a mischievous smile and made a swift exit. He wanted to explore the Keep's grounds further, just in case a hasty exit was necessary.

Varel took the chalice and spoke the words used for centuries. He held out the cup to Oghren, who drank it down with one gulp. He let go a loud belch as the whites of his eyes glowed momentarily. "Not bad," he said before heading to the cask and pouring himself a very large glass of ale.

"Anders, please step forward." Varel held out the chalice. "From this moment forth, Anders, you are a Grey Warden."

Anders paused. "So I just need to drink the darkspawn blood? Alright then…" He took a sip and promptly passed out. When he awoke, he too was a Grey Warden, looking for some ale.

Mhairi took the chalice in her hands and gazed at it warmly. "I have waited for this moment all my life." She drank deeply, and pulling the cup away from her mouth, began to choke and sputter the blood. She fell to the floor grabbing at her throat, while her body convulsed. And then she was silent. "I am sorry, Mhairi. May the Maker watch over you now." Elissa was shocked at Mhairi's demise. She thought Mhairi had the inner strength to survive the Joining after watching her fight the darkspawn. _What a pity._

The last recruit was Nathaniel. Varel handed him the chalice after speaking the oath and Nathaniel stared at it for a moment. He glanced up at Elissa and noticed her eyes were fixated on him. She curved her lips and gave him a small grin for support. _Maker, let him live. _"The moment of truth…" he sighed. Nathaniel took a sip and began to stumble backwards, falling to the floor unconscious.

Elissa held her breath while Varel checked for a pulse. "The Howe lives. He is stronger that I thought."

Awash with relief, she turned her eyes up towards the heavens. _Thank you_. She knew the companions who had survived would be fine in time.

Oghren was already drunk, and Anders, feeling extremely happy to be alive, was not far behind. "Commander, I have to say I am reeeally glad to see you." Elissa chuckled at Anders' tipsy comment.

"Really? And it is Elissa, for the third time," she corrected him frustratingly. "I know how unpleasant the Joining can be. I rather thought you would be angry with me."

"Never, my dear lady. You have freed me from the Circle, and I am alive and well, and a Grey Warden to boot!" The relief he felt was overwhelming. "As I said before, I owe you." Anders took a step closer to her. "_Anything_ I can do for you, do not hesitate to ask. I will obey your every command…Elissa," he said with a suggestive raised eyebrow.

Elissa blushed at his words. She was mildly surprised at his unabashed flirting. But in reality, it felt nice to have another man notice her. "Good to know, Anders," she said as she nodded graciously. "Ready for your first official task as a Grey Warden?" she asked in a sweet, sexy voice.

He wondered what this task would be. _Maybe a shoulder rub? No, too intimate. Some sort magic to show her his expertise? No, no. A simple hug between friends? _Interrupting his fantasy, she asked, "Can you please fetch my friend, _the assassin. _He is waiting outside." She felt a little cruel for toying with him, but at least he got the point.

Anders' ego was completely deflated. "As you wish." _Fool. She has no interest in you. _He nodded and left to search out Zevran. Feeling smug, Elissa turned her attention to Nathaniel.

"Nathaniel, how are you? Feeling any…different?" she asked hesitantly.

He still looked dazed from the Joining. "Yes…no…well, I feel…strange. How did you know I would survive? I am still surprised by your willingness to trust me."

"Yes, it is a fault of mine." She smirked, thinking of Zevran's comment about her altruistic tendencies. "Had it been someone else, I might not have been so willing. But I know you, or at least I knew you, once, and I can still see the dreams of that young man in your eyes." She wanted to reach out to him, to squeeze his hand as she had done in the past, but she suppressed the urge. "I missed you when you left." They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity, both reflecting back to their youth. "You were my best friend, my only _true_ friend."

"As you were to me." Neither one had noticed Zevran watching them from across the room. "I am sorry things turned out the way they did for you and me, Liss. I never wanted to see you hurt. I only wanted us to…" Before he could finish his sentence, Zevran appeared next to Elissa, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her close.

"Ah, my dear Elissa. Are the festivities over already?" He looked at Nathaniel with an intense glare. "So sorry to interrupt, by the way."

She could sense Zevran's jealousy, and while she did not want him to feel threatened, she had to admit that it feel pretty good to be wanted. "Zevran, have you met Nathaniel yet?"

Zevran kept his eyes on Nathaniel and studied his body language. "No, we have not been formally introduced, my love."

Nathaniel reached out to shake Zevran's hand. "Nathaniel Howe. And you are Zevran Arainai, masterful rogue and legendary Crow assassin, correct?" he remarked amiably.

"Ha! Surely your flattery is disingenuous. But yes, I am Zevran, and no longer a Crow. Please, call me Zev." Zevran did not like this Howe. Treachery runs in the blood and that you cannot change. He sensed that Nathaniel still had feelings for Elissa, but what kind of feelings, he was not sure of yet. Men often fell for her at first meeting, as Anders had, but Nathaniel had known her since childhood. While Zevran felt secure to have her known as his betrothed, he could not help but feel threatened on the odd occasion.

"Not accustomed to flattery? I suppose not, in your line of work. And you may call me Nate." Nathaniel was not one to back down from an obvious challenge. Rather than cause a scene, Zevran scoffed at his remark and turned to Elissa firmly asking to meet with her alone.

"My dear, I must speak with you in private. May we meet upstairs in our quarters?" Zevran did not have a specific topic to discuss, but he would surely come up with one once they were together. Discussing his disapproval of the Howe might not be a bad start, but Elissa would unquestionably defend her old friend.

"Of course. Go on up and I will be there shortly." He did not appreciate her lack of interest to leave with him immediately. Zevran turned on his heels and stomped away like a boy who had just been reprimanded. Elissa was not overly concerned with his reaction. She turned back to continue her conversation with Nathaniel, who had a puzzled look on his face.

"So, you and the assassin…? How did you ever find someone like that, Liss?" His candor shocked her.

"Um…Long story short? Loghain paid him to kill me, and when he failed, I spared him. He pledged an oath to me and renounced the Crows. My marriage to Alistair, after the Archdemon was slain, was more politically grounded. At least it was for me." It felt good to get those facts of her chest. "I grew to love Zevran during our travels, and we have been together since...well, quite a while. He is an extraordinary man. And, in case you hear any rumors, my marriage is going to be annulled, and Alistair will be marrying Loghain's daughter, Anora." For once, she did not feel any emotion while speaking of Alistair and his plans. "I told you I believed in second chances!" She tried to lighten the conversation, but her lilting comment was ineffective.

"That is beyond altruism, Liss. I assume my father had something to do with the assassination attempt?" he said as sorrow filled his eyes. The recognition of what his father was capable of finally hit him. He wondered how he could have changed into a man so proficient at homicidal tactics. He thought maybe if he had come home from the Free Marches sooner, things would have been different. Elissa saw the grief written in his frown and searched for the right words to say.

"I struggle to put the past behind me every day, Nathaniel. I know how you feel." She had read his mind and he was moved by her insightful and kind words.

"Thank you, Liss. That means more to me than you know." He blushed at the thought of her understanding him so well. "And, if you like, call me Nate."

"Nate? But I prefer Nathaniel, if you don't mind that is. It sounds more…masculine," she said wiggling her eyebrows.

"As you wish, my lady. I cannot argue with my superior, can I?" he asked with a most tempting smile. His heart was saying 'kiss her', but his head was thinking 'Crow assassin'.

She felt old passions tugging at her too. Elissa looked at her hand, thumbing the ruby ring Zevran had given her. She knew she had to leave Nathaniel, for now. "It is good to have you back, friend. We will be leaving for Amaranthine in the morning, so get some rest." As he watched her walk away, he realized that she _was_ the same person he had known years ago, only better.

When Elissa opened the door to their chambers, she found Zevran sprawled out on the bed, naked. His well-defined, bronzed muscles rippled like a washboard.

"So, this is what we need to speak of in private? Is there something specific you wish me to look at? A stray hair, or a wrinkle perhaps? A patch of skin that has not yet seen the sun?" she asked, giggling to herself.

Zevran twisted his hips a bit so she would notice his significant arousal. He oozed sensuality as he spoke in his most seductive voice."My sweet dove, I am overwrought with desire. Naughty thoughts are running through my head and I would like to share them with you."

_Holy Maker, he is an Adonis._


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_Yes, an Adonis. A divinity not of this world_.

"Hmmmm. Just how naughty are you feeling, lover?" Elissa stripped off her garments and danced over to the bed. She threw herself on top of him and ran her fingers through his soft hair, kissing his neck gently. "Zevran, you are shameless, you know?"

"I know, my dear…and you love it, yes?" he whispered, as his tongue ran down her ear. "After giving so many orders today, maybe you would like to play at submission?" he growled, rolling her onto her back and pinning her arms. She gave him a slight nod in agreement. "Good. Then do as I say and no one will get hurt," he said leering at her.

He smelled of cloves and bay leaves, and it was intoxicating. She wanted him in an instant, but she knew this game well. He would tease her until she pleaded for release, though not before doing exactly as he commanded. "Now, my dear, I will release your arms and you _will_ obey, understood? If you do not, the punishment will be quite severe, I assure you." This was one of Zevran's favorite roles; being the dominant master.

"Yes, Zevran. I am your humble servant," she said sheepishly.

"No. Not Zevran. How should you address me, my lady?" he asked sternly.

"Master…Master Arainai," she moaned wantonly.

"Much better, my dear. One more mistake and you shall pay in spades." He was almost scary acting the part. But Elissa knew he would sooner cut off his arm than hurt her. She reached down to grab him, unable to control her urges. "So impatient, my dear." He took her by the wrist, not allowing her hand to touch him, and gave her sharp slap to her backside. She winced slightly and stared into his eyes awaiting instruction.

"Now, let us have some fun, yes? Let me see what you can do with those lips, my love." He took hold of the braid he had so lovingly made for her earlier and pushed her head towards his erection. "Get to work, sweetness." She very much enjoyed being the one who took direction, giving herself over to him. She embraced the freedom from her duties, if only for a short while.

Elissa took him in, her tongue swirling on all sides. Slowly and expertly, the suction pulled him deeper into her mouth and he watched her, barely making a sound. When he was almost at the peak, he pulled her head back and pressed his lips to hers full force, causing her to bleed when she hit his teeth. Savoring the metallic saltiness of the cut, he ran his tongue across her mouth.

"The taste is sweet, my dove," he purred. The Master had changed the mood from rough to affectionate, and she melted in his arms. "I wish to make love, my beautiful Elissa, as equals…no control. Just you and I, taking in one another." His expression was soft and full of devotion as he mounted her. Her hunger was palpable, her body begging for more, hips writhing and awaiting pleasures unknown.

"You never cease to astonish me, lover." She was lost in his tender emotions. As he entered her, she looked into his amber eyes and whimpered, "I do love you so, Zevran Arainai."

"I see that, mi amor..." he said with a grin. Zevran was proud of his little triumph. _Mission accomplished._

When they were finished pleasuring each other, she curled up next to him, resting her head on his warm chest. The quick beating of his heart slowed and the pulses lulled her into a dreamlike state. "Mmmm. I would love a nap right now," she mewed.

"I would as well, but I think we should prepare for our excursion to Amaranthine, no?" he queried.

"Since when have you become so practical?" she asked, disappointed by his sensible words.

His fingers wrapped through strands of her thick, blonde hair, and then stopped to massage her neck tenderly."Ah, it is your fault, you see. You taught me how to be pragmatic those many days travelling through Ferelden."

"Oh, great. Another regret," she sighed heavily.

"No, no. Do not lament the positive influence you have had on me. I am a better man, my dove. And, for that, I will always be grateful. Besides, I have taught you much as well. I think we are even on that count," he said tapping a finger on her nose frivolously.

"Yes, I have learned a thing or two from you. As I said before, we are a very complimentary pair." She lifted her head up to kiss his mouth-watering lips.

They were basking in each other's love and affection peacefully. So why did Zevran feel compelled to ask about Nathaniel? He tried to tread carefully on the subject. "So, tell me, my fair Warden…"

_Warden? Here it comes. _"Tell you of what?"

"You and Nathaniel Howe. I assume you were lovers once?" He was not so lightly treading on the subject after all.

"Zevran, you know what they say about assuming?" she smirked. "We were young, and it was more akin to infatuation than love. A crush, I guess. We were never together in _that_ way." She raised an eyebrow and snuggled deeper into his arm.

"No? Your eyes tell a different story, Elissa." _Ach!_ _Shut your mouth, Zevran_. He closed his eyes, regretting the question before it finished rolling off his tongue.

"What? What did you say?" she asked in disbelief.

"I…no, forget what I said. It came out wrong, my dear. I simply meant that…" He tried to backtrack, but to no avail.

Elissa sprung out of bed. "Are you accusing me of lying? I have never lied to you Zevran, about anything." His accusation struck at her core. "I will only say this once. I have never slept with Nathaniel. We were teenagers, for Maker's sake!" She prided herself on her honesty, having never told a lie her entire life. And, he knew this, so why was he questioning her?

"Elissa, no, I am not accusing you of…" She could not hear him speak because the blood boiling in her ears was thumping so loudly. Zevran was utterly stunned at this lovely moment turning so horrible. _Why is she so defensive?_ _Guilt? _Then he mentally slapped himself. _No, not her. She is different than all the others._ The disapproving look on his face only increased her ire towards him.

"You have some nerve questioning **me** about my sex life after all the men and women you have screwed. Our past lives were not to affect our relationship, right? Remember that conversation?" _Why am I saying these things to him?_ Flames shot from her eyes. She was losing all control and didn't know why she could not stop. "Did I ever question your relationship with that whore of a duelist, Isabela, or your love for your precious Rinna, or your constant flirting and examining of anyone you thought you could bed? No. Because I trusted you." _Maker, shut me up. _She was intentionally trying to hurt him, to goad him.

Her cruel mockery injured him deeply. "Do not speak of my past relationships, Elissa. It is most unbecoming," he spat.

"Relationships? Is that what you call them? And I suppose your love for Rinna was equivalent to your love for me? Don't think for a second that I understand how you could love someone like her, and then love me. She was the antithesis of everything I stand for, everything I am," she spit back. Elissa was livid with a kind of rage he had not seen in a very long time.

"Then I, like Rinna, am the exact opposite too, and yet you claim to love me?" His question hit her like an acid flask.

"Again, you accuse me of falsehoods." Her anger was changing to sadness, and then back to anger in waves. She repressed the tears. "I say I love you because I do, with every fiber of my being." She wanted to hug him, to end the conflict, but something was stopping her. All she could do was be more confrontational. "How can you question me, after it took _so long_ for us to arrive at where we are in our relationship?"

Zevran knew he should try to squash the argument before it got any more out of control. He thought if he was more self-effacing, she would back off, maybe feel guilty and give in. "Mi amor, forgive my poor choice of words. I simply meant that he seems to regard you as…more than an old friend." His demeanor changed. He became less arrogant and more reserved. "I am sorry. I just…I guess I am jealous, perhaps. Please, do not be angry with me for wanting you all to myself." His tone was apologetic, almost submissive.

But, she did not buy into his apology. "Jealous? Controlling is more like it." Elissa threw her hands in the air frustrated with the debate. "I cannot believe this discussion is taking place. Honestly, Zevran, this worries me. I thought you trusted me? I should have known your deepest suspicions would be let loose on me one day. I'm surprised Alistair didn't figure into your observations already. To my surprise, you are showing some self restraint," she remarked sarcastically.

Zevran started to feel the resentment building up. "Do not presume to know my thoughts, Elissa. I do not _need_ to mention Alistair. I think you know how I loathed that situation." He raised his voice as his eyes locked onto hers.

"That _situation_? You encouraged me to marry him! You said you understood my duty to Ferelden! Were _you_ lying then? You never truly understood honor and loyalty, did you? I guess I am not surprised. Your assassin's heart is showing." She was exasperated with the finger pointing. They had never argued with such callous words before, and she needed to get out of the room before something was said that could not be forgiven. "Let's just end this now. I should leave before we throw any more punches at each other. I'm going downstairs to make arrangements for our departure tomorrow," she announced turning towards the door.

Zevran jumped off the bed and carefully grabbed her wrist. "Elissa, my love, please wait. Let's calm down and try to work through this. Do not walk away so furious," he pleaded. "I am begging you; do not leave things as they are. It is not…healthy for our relationship." _Did I just say that?_ He was helpless, a sensation he feared more than death.

She pulled away from his grasp, shaking her head in disgust. She waved off his request and simply said "No," and slammed the door behind her.

"Brasca…maldita sea!" Every effort made to secure her to him that afternoon was in vain. All the lovemaking, the overtures of worship and lust were for nothing. Zevran knew she would find herself being comforted by Nathaniel, and that thought nearly drove him to grab his daggers and seek him out before she could find him. Instead, he rubbed his temples and sat down to think.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Elissa ran from the room. She ran from Zevran's heartbroken expression, from the cruel words spoken in haste, from the fear of the unknown; the tears flowed without restraint. She headed for the stairs wondering if she would get past whoever was lurking in the throne room. She was glad she had put on her leathers instead of casual clothes before leaving Zevran; it would look more professional. When she got to the bottom of the steps, she peeked out to assess the situation. Varel, of course, was milling about. She noticed Anders chatting up the merchant, Uriah, and of course, Oghren was in his usual spot next to the ale cask. Oddly enough, Nathaniel was nowhere to be seen. That was probably a good thing. She decided to make a break for the front door. Walking as quickly as she could without running, she put on her business face, and it seemed she might make it without anyone catching her. As she grabbed the door handle, Anders shouted to her. "Hey, Elissa! What's your hurry?"

_Blast it all. _"Sorry, Anders. I can't talk right now. I have…an appointment to get to. See you later," she shouted, running all her words together. A quick wave to him and out the door she went. As she wandered the courtyard, she noticed the statue of Andraste looking particularly radiant in the sunlight. Elissa wondered what Andraste would think of her behavior in the past hour. Even Andraste must have had bad days. Days full of regret and sorrow. She had stopped crying uncontrollably and was feeling a bit empty, and guilty. Voices in her head said go back and talk to Zevran. Straighten it all out before it erodes everything you have worked so hard to accomplish. She decided to pull herself together and get on with her errands instead, immersing herself in preparing for Amaranthine. "That is what Andraste would do," she tried to convince herself.

As she walked toward the supply area, Elissa unfolded the list of equipment needed for her and her companions. Before she did any stock gathering, she needed to solve a problem. Who was she going to take with her to the city? Normally, Zevran would be her at side, but would he still want to accompany her, and did she really _want_ him to accompany her? Of course she still wanted him by her side. After all, she loved him, unequivocally. Anders would join her as well, as a mage was a necessity, with the darkspawn waiting in the shadows. Last of all, was it to be Oghren or Nathaniel? That verdict would take some thinking. Elissa sat on a wooden bench, basking in the warmth of the sun. Her eyes stung from the tears she had cried. They were itchy, swollen, and bloodshot. Accordingly, she closed them and rested her head on the wall, deep in her thoughts.

Something cast a shadow over her, stirring her from her catnap. She had no idea how much time had gone by. "Sleeping on the job?" She opened her eyes only to have rays of sun blind her to the person standing in front of her. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized the silhouette as Nathaniel's.

"Nathaniel...hello. Yes, it seems I did steal forty winks. Just another Warden Commander perk, you know," she whispered coyly.

"Who would dare wake you, Liss. Anyone with half a brain would fear you might slit their throat accidentally." There was laughter in his steely, blue eyes, accompanied by a smile that went on forever.

"You dared to wake me. I take it that means you are unafraid of me?" she asked with a conceited air.

"Did I say that? Maybe I have a death wish. Or maybe…I just wanted to test my skills against yours." Nathaniel had not seen her fight, but had already heard dozens of stories from Oghren. They were very impressive tales of dragons and darkspawn, spiders and wolves, revenants and ogres. He admired her musculature, her swiftness, her powerful yet feminine beauty.

"Is that a challenge I hear, Ser?" She was aware of her flirtatious posturing, but she was so enjoying the banter, she deemed it innocent.

His eyes smoldered with thoughts of sparring together, laughing together about the skills the other lacked. "It might be. But I won't take advantage of a sleepy girl sitting on a bench. We shall wait until you are up to it, I think."

"Girl? You still think of me as an impressionable child, don't you?" Her disenchantment was apparent as she looked away from his face.

"No, not at all. It is clear to me that you are a very capable, very beautiful and strong woman, not to be trifled with." She met his gaze and smiled at his compliment. Nathaniel did not want to seem over eager. He thought it might push her away from him, and that was the last thing he wanted. "In any case, what has you out here alone with your thoughts? If you will pardon my frankness, I can see that you have been crying. Are you alright?"

Elissa could not hide what her eyes gave away. "Yes. I am fine. I'm just…well, Zevran and I…we fought. And it turned quite ugly."

His demeanor changed from lighthearted to defensive. "He did not harm you in any way, did he, Liss?" he asked, hoping he had not laid a hand on her.

"No, no, of course not. I really should not speak of this with you. It is improper for me, as Commander, to talk of such personal issues. But thank you for your concern, Nathaniel." She wanted to tell him the fight was because of him, but she knew that would only make matters worse. She decided to change the subject. "Would you like to help me gather supplies for tomorrow?"

"As you wish, but know that I am here for you if you need me." He tenderly squeezed her shoulder and was surprised to feel her tense at his touch. He pulled his hand away quickly and said, "Lead the way, Commander."

When they reached the storage shed, Elissa used her key to open the lock on the door. Nathaniel took the opportunity to tell her of his meeting with an old associate. "Liss, I ran into my family's old groundskeeper, Samuel. Varel has decided to let him stay on and he told me some news."

She motioned for him to follow her in, and closed the door behind them. "What news is that?"

"My sister, Delilah, is alive and married, living in Amaranthine. Apparently, she married a shopkeeper, and is quite happy. I was hoping to…look for her when we arrive in the city. That is if you approve." Even if she had said no, he would eventually go on his own, but thought it prudent to ask anyway.

"How wonderful, Nathaniel! Of course you should look for her, no question." _Decision made. _"Maybe we will have a reason to celebrate. A reunion party, perhaps?" She sounded a bit trite, but warmly smiled to convey her support.

He was shocked that she would agree to search for his sister. After all, she had a duty to the Wardens and he thought a side trip would be put off indefinitely. "Thank you...I hope so, Liss. I am very interested to hear her thoughts of our father these last years. Maybe she can shed some light on his…behavior."

She saw the heartache he felt, because of her - again. Elissa did not regret killing Howe, but she did feel sorry for the pain it caused Nathaniel. "I'm sorry, Nathaniel. I know you're angry with me for his death, but I did what I had to do. He killed my family."

"I know. And I am not angry, not anymore." What he said was true. He did not blame her, he blamed himself.

"Don't take responsibility for your father's actions. It was not your fault. Frankly, you were better off in the Free Marches, avoiding the mess he made of his life. He did as he wanted and would not have altered his course for anyone, not even you, Nathaniel." Brutal honesty was not something she took pleasure in, but she felt it had to be said. He did not counter her comment, opting to stay silent. Elissa took the opportunity to change topics. "Let's move on to more contented thoughts, hm? Take a look around at the equipment. There are some really impressive items in here. See if anything strikes your fancy."

He watched her bend over to look into a box of first aid equipment. "There is one thing," he said softly. She was so busy searching the boxes, she did not see the desire in his eyes, or hear it in his words.

"Did you find a better bow?" she asked spinning around. Suddenly, she was face to face with her handsome friend. Nathaniel wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, drawing her closer until their bodies were touching. He was a few inches taller than she, but with her boots on, her lips practically met his. She felt his strapping chest heave with passion. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and engulfed her. His dark, sensual features were beckoning to be touched, to be kissed. She stood stock still, paralyzed with guilt for something that had not even happened yet.

"Liss, may I…kiss you?" Ever the gentleman, Nathaniel waited for permission.

"I…uh…but, I can't. I owe Zevran…more." Her head was spinning. She wanted to kiss him, to run her hands through his thick, black hair, to feel his body shudder at her touch. Overwhelming remorse was stopping her; Zevran's face was stopping her. Her heart was racing, pounding out of her chest, and her breathing was ragged.

His musky scent drew her in. He moved his lips to her ear and whispered, "You feel it. I know you do…but I will not force anything upon you. It is your decision." He waited patiently, thinking she was about to give in. He moved his mouth away from her ear towards her lips, caressing her back and running his hand down to her hips.

She felt his hot breath on her neck. "But…no, I cannot…please, this is…not happening." Still, he held her tight, her body taut with longing. She was losing the battle, and weakness soon overcame her. She assaulted him, slamming her mouth to his, her tongue seeking satisfaction. She clawed at his back and let out a groan from deep within her throat. He responded in kind, grabbing her bottom with enthusiasm, as his hips ground into hers. She felt his arousal and reached down between their bodies to stroke him. He caught his breath and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing her fingers tenderly.

All she could see was Zevran. She tried to pull away, but his grip was too powerful. "Please, Nathaniel, please stop." He relaxed his hold on her and she backed up.

His eyes were fixed on her and his voice quivered as he spoke. "Why? Don't you…want this? It's still there, all the passion, the desire. I can feel it in your touch, Liss."

Her eyes fell to the floor in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I just can't right now. I am betrothed to Zevran and I just can't forget that. Please, do not force me. I don't want you to wish for something that cannot be."

His brows furrowed and his lips turned down. "I will not hold you to anything. All I ask is that you think about it, about us."

She nodded and moved towards the door, wanting to leave before it was too late. Turning around, she saw that someone had left the door open. Only one person could enter and leave a room in complete silence. "Maker's breath. I think Zevran was here." She glanced to Nathaniel, who looked quite put out, and then ran out of the shed. She did't see any sign of him, at all. Nearby, a Keep guard was on watch and she questioned him. "Did you happen to see a blond elf go by?"

"Aye, and he was moving pretty fast, too. He headed off the grounds, in the direction of that little lake, to the east."

_Blast it all. _Elissa started to walk towards the gates, and the walking turned to jogging, then to running, then to frantic sprinting. _Please, let me find him. I'm so sorry…_She ran full-bore for about a mile before reaching the edge of the lake. Stopping to catch her breath, she scanned the shoreline looking for any sign of her lover. The rhythmic splashing of something hitting the water broke the silence and when she focused her hearing, she pinpointed his location and saw him, standing ankle deep in the water, skipping stones.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

His keen, elven ears had heard her coming. He sighed heavily, trying to erase the image of his love in the arms of another man, a handsome and charming man, once of status, a friend he knew would comfort her after their quarrel. Another stone skipped across the water lightly. He watched her approach. She was flushed and out of breath, sweating profusely, hair in disarray. Even so, she was utterly gorgeous. "Still excited by his touch, my dear?" he asked calmly.

"What? No, Zevran, no. I ran all the way here from the Keep…to find you." She reached to touch his forearm but he moved a step away from her. "I understand why you are angry with me…why…why did you go to the armory?" A silly question, for sure, but she couldn't think straight just yet. She took another step closer to her quiet lover. He bent down to pick up another stone and skimmed it across the water. "Zevran, please talk to me, or yell at me, or throw a rock at me. Do something!" she shouted.

"And what good would that do? Make you feel less guilty, perhaps? No. You should feel remiss." He was standing there, in the water, as stunning as ever; pants rolled up to his calves, shirtless and tan, wisps of his flaxen hair blowing across his face in the breeze.

He was almost on the verge of crying, _almost_, but controlled himself masterfully. "I wanted to apologize, to tell you…how much I adored you, to ask you if you would consider not waiting for your duties to be finished, to ask you to marry me tomorrow," he said flatly, looking out at the lake. His serene and seemingly cold disposition troubled her.

As Elissa moved closer to him, his pain was obvious. He continued to bend over, picking up rocks and skipping them across the lake, keeping occupied so he would not fall apart. His heart was breaking right in front of her. "Please, look at me. I beg you, just look at me and let me explain."

"You may explain anything you like, Elissa. I will not stop you." Another stone, another skip.

"Zevran, it meant nothing, and I stopped because all I could think of was you. I have been an incredible fool." No matter what she said, he still did not look at her. She dropped to her knees and began to cry, head in her hands. "It was a mistake, an awful mistake. I have been true to you, I have…It's not what you think!"

"Ah, a familiar line." He had unlocked his iron-clad heart for her, and she stomped on it in one moment of weakness. Was he imagining that she was as altruistic, as compassionate and as loyal a friend and lover as he thought, or was he just fooling himself that someone of her character could love him for who he was, as Rinna did? The same emotions he felt when she died ate away at him now, even more dangerous and destructive than before.

"Well, my dove, it very much looked like _something_ from where I was standing." Zevran kneeled down to face her. He cupped her cheeks with his hands, tipping his head to the side, his eyes pleading. "Tell me, Elissa, do you love me, or am I just a means to an end? I am not accusing you of lying to me. I am only asking if your heart and spirit love _me,_ beyond doubt…_me_, Zevran Arainai, Crow and assassin, notorious lover…son of a whore." She had never seen him more defeated and fragile than he was at that moment. His voice was growing louder, as he gripped her face with rage filled hands. "The man you have travelled with, who fought at your side and nursed your wounds, who shared the most intimate of pleasures with you! Do you love that man?"

He wanted to strike her, to slap her face and make her feel the pain aching within him. He pulled his hand back, and she took a short breath in anticipation of the blow. There was no fear in her eyes, only sadness. She held her head up, offering her cheek to him. He clenched his fist and jerked it further back, but he could not do it, he could not hurt her. His arm fell to his side, and his muscles went weak.

She sighed with relief. "You are more to me, much more than those things…the man I love is also sensual and hot blooded, caring, loyal, and protective. You deserve more…more than I can give you, but yes, I truly love you. I do, with everything that I am. I know this now, more than ever. What I said to you, those spiteful things…I didn't mean them." She felt so foolish, so stupid and selfish. How could she hurt this magnificent man, after everything she knew about him? His past should have killed him, but it didn't. He was so strong, so full of life and yet her actions were like death blows, butchering his spirit.

She started to sob uncontrollably, yet again. "I know I have unresolved issues with your past…with Rinna. I'm envious of her, envious that she held your love, even for a short while, even though I didn't know you then. I realize you were kindred spirits, and that she grew up much the same way you did. I know you loved her and why. What I said about her…I was wrong, so wrong." She wiped her face with her hands, the tears stinging her skin. She stared at him, her eyes begging for release from the guilt. "I know you have a good heart, a loving heart, and I took advantage of that. I don't know what possessed me to kiss him…I know I have hurt you, deeply, but…hopefully not beyond repair," she said meekly. Her pleas moved him, but still he was hesitant.

"Then why? Why did you fall into his arms, Elissa? You could have come to me, told me anything, _everything_. I would never judge you, you know this." He gazed at his ring and held it out to her. "I had thought this ring meant something, and then I saw you touching him…" He looked away once more. Zevran was broken; much like Alistair had been when she injured him with the truth.

Her words were desperate. "It does mean something! I don't know what you want me to say! He was there and I felt like a little girl, helpless and alone. I was vulnerable, so upset with our argument. I know that's no excuse. It was stupid and selfish and I am so sorry. I should have come to you. Please, Zevran, can you please forgive me?"

"I already have, my dear. But this is not about forgiveness. I cannot bear to lose you to another man, not like this. If you need freedom, then you can have it. If you want him, then take him. Just be honest with me. Tell me what you want and I will abide by it. I want us both to be happy, Elissa. If I am not the man you want, the man you need, then so be it. But do not drag me along." It pained him to allow her such independence, but he had to let her go, to give her the choice, or he may never know her true feelings.

"But you are the man I want, can't you see that?" She tenderly took his hand in hers and placed it over her heart. "I once told you that I did not feel worthy of you…I still think that, especially now. But…I just want to be loved, Zevran. By you, and only you. I know what you have sacrificed for me, the opportunities you have passed over. You have stood by me many times, when you should have left. I owe you my life." Releasing his hand, she ran her fingers across his cheek. "I know what you are, and who you are. I want you…as my husband, as a father to our children. I want _you_, Zevran Arainai, eternally by my side..." She had never said more sincere words in her life.

He felt a single tear trickle from the corner of his eye. "Mi amor, if I am sincerely what you want, then I am yours. But I fear your words are…patronizing. Maybe we need to reconsider our relationship." Zevran was surprised at the words coming from his mouth. He never imagined he would say anything like this to her, but self preservation was imperative. His words hit her like a landslide.

"No! Absolutely not, Zevran. Please, don't say that. I don't want to separate from you. I don't want anything but you. What can I say or do for you to believe me!" She was crying so hard she could barely see. "I'll do anything, say anything, but please, don't leave me. Don't leave me alone."

"If company is what you seek, there are others you can pass the time with." Zevran was shedding more tears now. Oddly, he did not feel he had to cover his emotions anymore. "I think we may benefit from a separation. I am not so cruel as to subject myself to any more heartache." He loved her, more than life itself, but he needed to know that she felt the same, beyond doubt. If he gave her some time apart from him, to assess her feelings, maybe she would come to realize that he was the man she desired.

"I _know_ you love me. Why do this? Why? I need you…I…You are part of me; I need you like I need air to breath. Please, please, don't do this to us."

"I have done nothing to us. I have done nothing but love you. It is all I can manage not to sweep you up and kiss you until you collapse in my arms. But, I cannot…I cannot be with you right now." His training kicked in and he held fast to his convictions. "I will see you in the morning and I will accompany you to Amaranthine. But know this; for now, we are not together, not as lovers, not as we were before this moment. And I will not hold you to any vow of fidelity. I suggest you think long and hard about what you want, from me and for yourself."

"But…I don't want this, Zevran. I don't want another man…and…and…what of _your_ vow of fidelity? Will you seek out another's company to…replace me?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"Nothing can replace you, Elissa. You are…unique, to say the least. But I don't know. We shall have to see." Zevran had no interest in another, he only wanted her, but if the opportunity presented itself, he wasn't sure what he would do. He was hurt and angry and wanted retribution. "Please, ask no more of me."

It felt like she had been poisoned. Her throat was closing and her head was pounding. Her face felt flush with fever and her skin crawled at the thought of him with another individual, man or woman. But it was clear that he had made his decision. Elissa twisted off her ruby ring and held it out to him. Her hands trembled and she barely spoke above a whisper. "Here. I imagine you want this back."

"No. Keep it, as a reminder…of what could be," he said stoically.

"Then…I will wear it, if that's alright with you." He nodded to her in agreement. She met his gaze and her thoughts flashed back to the final battle with the archdemon. "The gates of the Black City, right? Zevran…the best part of me is you." She extended her hand to him, silently asking for his. He took it and gave her a slight squeeze.

"I'm glad you are joining us tomorrow. It wouldn't be the same without you watching my back." She tried to smile but she could only look at him with somber eyes.

"We can't have the Commander of the Grey getting killed now, can we? I don't put too much stock in the abilities of our companions just yet, except maybe Oghren." He was still holding her hand, as the slightest of grins appeared on his lips. She wanted to smother him in a million kisses, to touch him in all the right places, right there, by the lake's edge.

"If I may, can I give you a kiss…on the cheek, before leaving?" she asked tentatively.

Zevran knew what she was angling at, after all, he had taught her much about the art of manipulation. Barely able to refuse, he lifted her hand and pressed his lips into her palm tenderly. "This will have to do for now, Elissa." She closed her eyes, savoring the touch of his mouth on her skin. "Anything more would be imprudent. I am sorry, my dear, but I have to ask you to leave me be."

She accepted defeat. "As you wish. I…I won't plead with you anymore. I can see what my betrayal has done to you and all I can say is I'm sorry. I would rather die…than hurt you again. I love you, Zevran." Elissa stood up, wiped her arm across her face, and brushed the dirt from her legs. "Don't give up on me." She wanted to say more, much more, but she kept silent. One last, lingering look at his handsome face, and she turned to leave for the Keep.

He watched her as she walked away, inwardly hoping she would turn around for a final glimpse of him, but she did not. She could not. She became just a tiny dot on the landscape, blending in with the forest. His fists punched the rocky lakeshore until his knuckles bled. With his elbows perched on his knees, his face fell into his hands, and the tears began to flow.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Oh, the torture. I'm a sucker for drivel. Long chapter, but I couldn't stop…Thanks again for reading and commenting. A shout-out to Erim-Kawamori, __CynderJenn__, __Servatia__, and __Leena Tauros__._

**Chapter 12**

Elissa's unhurried walk back to the Keep was uneventful. It was a good thing too, because she was so busy thinking about Zevran, she wouldn't have noticed a dragon if it had swooped down and landed in front of her breathing fire. By the time she reached the throne room, it was almost nightfall. Most of her companions were not worried about her, but they were curious as to where she had been all day. Nathaniel had voiced his concern, but said nothing specific about her whereabouts. When she opened the door, Oghren was the first to greet her.

"Sodding nug tits, woman! You look like you could use a drink more than me!" Oghren shouted with a jovial slap to her back.

"You are correct, my friend. Lead the way." She followed him to the cask and he poured her a mug of the Keep's finest ale. She took a long, deep drink of the amber liquid, letting go a very unladylike belch. "Thanks, Oghren. That hit the spot, as they say." Two more gulps and the cup was empty. She held it out to Oghren and gestured for a refill.

"Where's the elf? I got a great joke for him," Oghren said peering around the room.

"I don't really know. You haven't seen him?" Elissa thought Zevran might be back already, but her hopes were dashed.

"Not since this afternoon. Trouble in paradise, Warden?"

"That's one way to put it." She quickly downed the ale trying to numb the anguish that was eating away at her. "Thanks for the drink, Oghren...or drinks." Elissa made her way over to Anders, but not before topping off her mug. She thought she should gather up her companions and brief them on her plans for Amaranthine, _before_ the ale hit her.

"And where have you been, Elissa? _Some_ of us were concerned over your…disappearance." Anders pointed his chin in the direction of Nathaniel. She glanced over and saw Nathaniel staring daggers at her.

"Well, I'm here now and we need to discuss tomorrow's trip. Can you get Nathaniel over here please?" she asked, a bit peeved by his comment.

"Hey, Nate! The Commander wants you over here, pronto!" Anders barked.

"I could have yelled across the room too, Anders." _For the love of the Maker. Never let a subordinate do your job, _she thought to herself.

Elissa, Anders, and Nathaniel sat down on a large, wooden table covered with maps of Amaranthine. Elissa was feeling a bit embarrassed by her disheveled appearance, so she directed her conversation to Anders, afraid to meet Nathaniel's gaze. After addressing the details of the journey, Elissa looked to Nathaniel and decided she would be the one to break the silence between them.

"Of course, after we arrive, you are free to look for your sister, Nathaniel. The rest of us will secure rooms for the night and you can meet up with us later." Nathaniel tipped his head and gave her a barely negligible smile of appreciation.

"The rest of _us_? Other than the three of us, who else is tagging along?" Anders asked.

"Zevran," she answered flatly.

Anders scanned the table and inquired, "Then why isn't he here now?"

_Good question._ "He had some chores to attend to, Anders. Don't worry. He is more than capable and doesn't need direction."

"Oh, but we do? That's some vote of confidence."

"Don't take it personally. Zevran has travelled with me for a long time and he knows what's expected of him." _I hope._

Just as she was rolling up the maps, Anders waved to someone across the room. "There he is now. Hey, Zev!" he shouted. "Come over here and get some instruction from our illustrious Commander!"

_Blast it all._ Elissa nervously tapped the maps on the table, while Zevran sauntered over to the group. He sat across from Nathaniel, who was looking a bit surprised, sensing the tension between Elissa and Zevran. A smug grin emerged from his lips.

"Meeting without me?" Zevran eyeballed Nathaniel and slid himself closer to Elissa. "Pity. I might have had some advice to offer." Nathaniel didn't take his eyes off Zevran, either. He knew Zevran was not foolish enough to try anything in the throne room. However, he thought it wise to consider sleeping with a dagger under his pillow, just in case the Antivan was feeling bolder while everyone slept.

Elissa was quite uncomfortable with Zevran's closeness. As always, he smelled of bay leaves and cloves and it made her long for their tender moments together, moments that might not happen for a while, if ever again. He didn't look nearly as worn out as he had earlier. In fact, to her, he looked stunning, even though his clothes were wrinkled and a bit dirty, and his hair was far from perfect, and his eyes were a bit swollen. She reconsidered her assessment. He did look down trodden, but still handsome. She struggled to speak above a whisper. "Uh, yes. I told these gentlemen here, that you knew what your duties were and did not need instruction."

"Oh, so you still trust my instincts?" he asked with a smarmy grin.

_So this is how it's going to be_. "Of course, Zevran." She rose up from her chair, needing to get as far away from him as she could; not an easy task in that room. She made a beeline for Oghren and the cask, mug in hand. Elissa, already feeling the effects of the ale, noticed how her muscles felt so relaxed. She was hoping the alcohol would make her tired enough to fall asleep early and forget Zevran, at least until morning.

Again she held out her empty cup to Oghren. "Please pour me another."

"Finally seeing why I drink so much of this bronto piss, huh Warden? Hey, the elf looks as roughed up as you. Did you two get into a scrap? Beat the pants off him? Heh, heh."

"Dispense with the lewd comments and just pour." Elissa glanced around the room, wondering if anyone was aware of her filling yet another cup.

Zevran had left the table as well, and was talking with Ambassador Cera. Elissa noticed that Zevran was holding Duncan's dagger, the blade Elissa had given him one night in camp after a particularly harrowing trip back to Ostagar. He was hesitant to accept such a meaningful gift, thinking it should go to Alistair, but Alistair was not a rogue, and Alistair had kept Maric's blade. Zevran tried to refuse, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. After accepting it, he marveled at the weapon for what seemed hours. Later that evening, they went skinny dipping in a nearby pond, and that night, deep in the woods near camp, Elissa told Zevran that she was in love with him.

As she watched Zevran converse with Cera, she could see that he was just as taken with dagger now, as he had been that night, and that made her smile. He looked up, aware of her intense gaze, and he knew why she was smiling, and that made him grin, too.

Cera was obviously flirting with him, giggling and laying her hand on his arm as if a secret or joke had just passed between the two. Elissa felt sick to her stomach. Was he trying to make her jealous? Or, maybe he was just being himself? It occurred to her that Zevran was right to question her love for him. He was just doing what he had always done, what made him Zevran. He was showing superficial interest for a woman he didn't know. He was flirting, proudly. And there were no promises in his flirtations, only fun and jest. And she loved that part of him.

After the fourth glass of ale, Elissa started to feel daring. She decided she needed to speak with Nathaniel, to apologize for what had happened in the armory. She spotted him across the room, looking at some books on the library's shelves. He turned around, hearing someone approach. When he set his eyes on Elissa, he crossed his arms over his well-built chest and waited. Nathaniel knew something was amiss. Zevran hadn't provided his usual loving touches and overtures for her at all. He stood there with a knowing smirk on his face as she walked towards him.

"Nathaniel, could I please speak with you for a moment?" she asked boldly.

The distance between her and Zevran was apparent, and Nathaniel took pleasure in their detachment. "What can I do for you, Liss?" he asked happily.

Elissa was not thrown by his contented mood, knowing full well why he was in high spirits. "I just want to apologize for my actions earlier today. It was…I was…inappropriate and I am sorry."

He could smell the ale on her breath, another indication that something was wrong. "No apology necessary, Liss. I should be the one to say I'm sorry, so…I am sorry. It was my fault that things got a bit out of hand."

"I guess we were both in the wrong then. Thanks for understanding." She was obviously relieved and quite pleased with his apology.

"And what exactly am I to have understood?" Nathaniel asked.

"Um…well…that it was a mistake, what happened." _Uh-oh._

"Was it? I don't think there is any mistaking what we were doing, what we were feeling at that moment. I certainly knew what_ I_ was doing." She was stunned. He continued on. "I also notice that your assassin has barely spoken to you tonight. Not a coincidence, I'm sure."

"He is not _my assassin_, but you are correct. We are…we have…separated, for the time being. And you should know that it is because he saw us together," she snapped at him.

"I assumed as much. So what does that mean…for us?" A daring question, but one that needed answering.

"For us? How could you ask such a question? There is no _us_, Nathaniel. I still love him. We are just taking a break, to sort out our feelings…my feelings I suppose. "

"It follows then, that you are now free to see whomever you like, correct?" Nathaniel thought things were going well enough.

"Yes, but I can't leap into bed with someone just because Zevran let me go, if that's what you're hinting at."

"No, I didn't say leap into bed. I just meant that you are free to explore other…interests."

Elissa was getting annoyed with his banter. "I can't talk about this anymore, Nathaniel. Can we change the subject?" Nathaniel's face fell. He was failing, miserably. It was a perfect moment for Oghren to sidle up to her with another ale.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, dwarf?" She smiled at Oghren. He knew her well and could see that she was uncomfortable.

"Heh, heh. Misery loves company, Warden," was all he said, and left for his spot next to the cask.

She took another deep drink and looked around the room, exasperated by her conversation with Nathaniel. Zevran had moved on and was now speaking with Master Wade and Herren, who were also admiring Duncan's dagger. Zevran peered over Herren's shoulder and caught Elissa ogling him. She couldn't help herself, and continued to stare at the man she loved, wanting him, needing his touch. She was perfectly drunk now and wandered over to Zevran and the armorers, leaving Nathaniel with not so much as a goodbye.

"Fine piece of crafting, fine piece," Wade said admiring the dagger.

Addressing Master Wade, she asked, "Did Zevran mention that I gave that to him? It was Duncan's you know. You remember Duncan, don't you Master Wade?"

"Of course. What a ridiculous question," he said waving her comment off. "Hmmm, such a superior gift, Commander. Surely you were thanked properly for it?"

"Yes. I was thanked, and _quite_ properly, as I recall…do you remember that night, Zevran?" _What am I saying __**now**__. _Elissa thought if she put Zevran on the spot, he might soften his stance.

"I do, yes. It was a night I will always treasure, without a doubt." He cherished the moment he first heard her say those three terrifying words; 'I love you'. Although he could not return the gesture at that time, her gift had sealed his fate.

"Master Wade, Herren, would you please excuse us? I need to speak with Zevran privately."

"Of course, Commander. Come, Herren. A new supply of Dragonbone awaits us." Elissa chuckled at the two craftsmen. She thought they made a perfect pair.

"Elissa, is there something you would like to say to me?" Zevran decided to go easy on her. He knew she had been drinking, and that her guard was down. He also knew that alcohol caused her to suffer severe melancholy.

His eyes were soft, and warm, and so inviting. "Zevran, I…you are…you are my closest friend, my only true friend and…I find myself _needing_ a friend right now. And I don't know what to do about that." Remarkably, she stopped the tears from forming. It was difficult, but she wanted to stand proud, to make _him_ proud. She straightened her back and suppressed her emotions. "Would you consider just talking with me for a while? I promise I won't…touch you… or embarrass you. Just, if you could be my friend for a little while…and then I will leave you alone." She nervously cracked her knuckles and rubbed her hands together. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Varel heading their way. _Blast it all, again_.

"Elissa, is everything alright? You do not look well." Varel thought she was looking pale and worn-out, and his concern was genuine. She hoped he hadn't noticed how much ale she had had to drink.

Zevran, always quick witted, answered for her. "It seems our Commander thought it unnecessary to have lunch or dinner today. All she needs is some nourishment and she will be fit for travel, Varel. I will personally see to it."

Elissa did not want Varel to think her weak, so she nodded in agreement and simply said, "Yes, I could use a good meal."

He nodded back and said sternly, "Please do, Commander. You need to keep your strength up. It's an arduous journey to Amaranthine." He smiled lightheartedly and then left to check on the other Wardens.

"Thank you, Zevran," was all she could manage to say, as she spun her ruby ring around her finger.

"Isn't that what friends are for, my dear? It was no great effort to help you out of that spot. I would suggest, however, that you heed Varel's words and eat something before retiring for the evening. Amaranthine is not as close as it appears on the map." Suddenly Zevran was forced to take care of her, by his own suggestion. He shook his head, disappointed in his lack of restraint.

"Is that it, then? You…do not wish to speak with me, as a friend?" The lump in her throat almost gagged her.

"What I wish, is for you to take care of yourself. Come, I will find some food and escort you to your chambers where you can eat and rest in peace." _Stay strong, Zev._

"Can we talk for a bit, I mean while I eat the delicious vittles you procure?" she asked with a smirk. "As I said, I won't do anything…if you could just stay with me…until I fall asleep?" By now her eyes were half-lidded and Zevran figured she would be sound asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

"I will stay until you fall asleep, Elissa." His tiny grin was enough to make her hopeful for more.

She waited in the throne room as he quickly grabbed some cheese and bread from the kitchen. He led her up the stairs, and she couldn't help but notice his rather firm and muscular rump. She imagined surprising him with a pinch, and him lurching forward. Someday soon, she would make that happen.

He held the door for her as she entered the room, closing it quietly behind him. Elissa sat on the edge of the bed - on her side. Pulling over a small table, Zevran placed the food down next to her and then walked to the hearth to put some wood on. He sat in the chair adjacent to the fireplace and crossed his legs casually. "What would you like to talk about, my fellow comrade?"

Elissa had been aggressively attacking the bread and cheese, and gestured to her full mouth. "Ah, I shall wait for you to swallow then," he said, almost giving away the dirty thought that crept into his mind. His cover-up did not work however, and she gave him a sideways glance.

When she finally finished swallowing down her food, Elissa asked him a question. "Did you enjoy showing off Duncan's dagger tonight?"

"Very much so. It is a perfect weapon, yes? Much like the woman who gave it to me." He offered the compliment, not as a flirtation, but as an honest appraisal of her skills. However, she heard otherwise.

"Right. Please, Zevran don't give me false ho…oh… oh, I think I'm feeling…queasy…" Her face went pale and she broke out in a sweat. Zevran quickly grabbed a basin full of fruit, dumped out the contents and slipped the bowl under her chin. He kneeled beside her, holding the bowl in one hand and her hair with the other. She retched a few times, but nothing appeared. "Sorry, I thought the cheese was coming back to haunt me…I'm alright now."

"I should have known the clatter in your stomach might lead to this. Lie back and rest, Elissa." She fell onto the bed and Zevran placed two fluffed pillows under her head. "Better, yes?"

"Much better. You've always had the best bedside manner, Zevran."

"What can I say? I am ridiculously awesome," he joked.

She placed her hand on top of his and smiled. "So true, lov…Zevran." Elissa desperately wanted to embrace him, to tell him she loved him and wanted him, but still, he kept the distance between them, even though the feel of her hand in his was all consuming.

"I think you should relax now. As I promised, I will stay until you fall asleep, if you still want me to." Zevran was having a rough time keeping the urge to kiss her in check. All his inner strength and energy was focused on self-control.

"I would like you to stay. If I may, can I ask you another question?" _I think he's sinking._

"Of course." _I think she's playing me._

"I know I said I wouldn't pester you about this, but…what would you think if I told you I _have_ thought long and hard about what I want? I know it's only been several hours since you…we changed the terms of our relationship, but I know, without a doubt, what I want." Her words were so genuine, so sincere; he had to believe her, didn't he?

"Elissa, I think it best to wait to have this conversation, when you are more…yourself."

"I have never been more myself than I am right now, with you. After all, you have just witnessed me at my weakest. No one else has ever seen me so…human, so unceremonious, as it were. My words are not that of some drunken, lovesick girl. They are the words of a woman completely in love with you. A woman who can't live without you by her side." Elissa felt a wave of release wash over her. Every word she said was purposeful and honest, and now it was up to Zevran to take the next step. "Do you still doubt my feelings for you?"

"You are a very frustrating woman to deal with, you know that? You can't keep your mouth shut for more than five minutes." He wanted to be angry and disbelieving, but he could not.

"I can think of a few ways to shut me up," she purred, knowing his weakness for seduction.

"You are most wily, my dear. But, I think I shall sleep on your profession of love and we can discuss this more tomorrow." Zevran was falling under her spell. She knew it and used it her advantage.

She turned on all the charm she could summon from deep within. "But I will be so very busy tomorrow. In addition to the issues regarding Amaranthine, I have an event to plan." She smiled mischievously at him.

"Oh? And what event might that be?" Zevran didn't know what she was referring to, but suspected her answer would be surprising.

Elissa sat up and said, "My wedding, of course." She wore a self-satisfied smile while waiting for a response.

Zevran's eyes grew wide, and for once, he did not have a witty comeback. He just sat there, dumbfounded, and slightly frightened.

"Zevran, did you hear me?" _What have I done? __Stupid, stupid, stupid!_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Moonlight filtered in through the windows and the fire cast a warm glow on the room. The flickering of the candlelight reflected off the blond strands of the elf's hair as he sat motionless, staring out the window. His face wore a mix of confusion and empathy. Zevran stood up, not meeting Elissa's gaze, and slowly walked to the hearth. His eyes were fixed on the glowing embers of firewood, trying to discern the meaning of what she had just said, and why she had said it.

"Zevran! Say…something!" Elissa demanded an answer although she knew she had spoken impetuously. But it was too late; she could not back down now. She was confident in having chosen him as the one she committed herself to, even though she was knew they could not marry in the eyes of the chantry, even though a human relationship with an elf was considered traitorous, even though tradition was against Grey Wardens marrying and having children.

Elissa was about to call his name again, when Zevran turned to face her. "Do you have faith in my decisions? Do you trust me to do what is right?" he asked calmly.

"Yes, of course." The flatness of his voice worried Elissa. "Always."

"When I swore my oath to you, I told you that I was your man, without reservation. Alas, it appears that I now _have_ reservations. I believe…you love me in a way. But, I do not believe that you truly know yourself or how you actually feel. My instincts tell me you need some kind of closure before you can truly commit yourself to me or any other. The kind of closure only your duties to the Grey Wardens offer."

"Zevran, that is not true. I can walk away from my post right now. I can! Amaranthine be damned!"

"Mi amor, do you think running away will make it better? You are the woman who rescued me from the depths of darkness, who taught me what selflessness and obligation meant, the Commander of the Grey. That is you, Elissa. You know as well as I, that the mission must be finished in order to be victorious, to move ahead with your life."

"You didn't finish your contract with the Crows, and yet here you are…you moved on, why can't I?" she asked scornfully.

"Because, my dear, you are not me, and your duty was not mine. Your obligation is for the benefit of all. Mine was cruel, selfish. If you don't complete this business here, you will never be able to rest. You will feel a failure and it will eat away at you until it shames you to ruin, and that, my love, I cannot be a part of."

"So, what are you saying? You don't want to be here with me?" she asked incredulously.

"No. I do want your companionship, always. But, I want to finish this, sort everything out, and _then_ continue with our future. As I said before, we should remain…unattached," he said, eyes ablaze. He had a yearning to kiss her, to comfort her, to show her that he wasn't leaving her alone.

She glared at him and spat, "Maker's breath…you have some nerve, you know that? Get out, Zevran. Get out before I do something…"

"Please, do not be angry. I do this because it is best. You deserve to be happy, with nothing weighing on your mind," he said, slightly hurt by her warning.

"I'm glad you've taken control of the situation, Master Arainai. You have the upper hand now. I hope you're satisfied," she said with derision. "Just leave me alone. And don't bother coming to Amaranthine, either. I'll take Oghren."

"That, I cannot do. I will still follow you, and I vow to stay out of your way unless necessary," Zevran promised.

"Suit yourself," she said disagreeably. "Leave me then, Zevran, and take your damn bravado with you."

Zevran said nothing as he turned to leave. He glanced at her as he closed the door. She was wounded, infuriated, and betrayed in a way he understood all too well. Still, he thought it was for the best. He needed to be firm with her. He owed her that. He only hoped that he had made the right decision, and wouldn't regret walking out on her.

She threw a pillow at the door as it closed. _Bastard_, she thought. She wanted to scream, to smash things, to tear things apart, tear him apart, all at once. But she couldn't move, she couldn't shout. All she could do was lie back on the bed, bewildered and heartbroken. Eventually, she closed her eyes to stave off the throbbing in her head and drifted to sleep.

When the sun's warmth streamed through her window, she instinctively reached over to stroke Zevran's hair, but all she felt was an unoccupied pillow. She sat up and shook her head to snap back to reality, a reality that was most unwelcome. But she refused to let it stop her from preparing herself for the journey to Amaranthine. She pulled on her leather armor and sheathed her weapons. Elissa was ready for battle, be it darkspawn, a Howe, or a foolish elf.

When the group, consisting of Elissa, Anders, Nathaniel and Zevran, was assembled, they set out for the trade route known as the Pilgrim's Path. It was named for the devoted followers of Andraste who walked the road to reach the city of Amaranthine. No horses this time, much to Elissa's chagrin. They would have to go by foot the entire way to the city. This only made Elissa more ill-tempered, and she didn't care if anyone knew it.

"Come on, you lazy dogs! Get a move on! At this rate, we won't get there until tomorrow, and that will irritate me greatly!" Elissa bellowed from up ahead.

Anders was walking beside Nathaniel, trying to figure out what had Elissa so worked up. "What's with our Commander? Her smalls are in quite a bunch today," he observed.

"It must have something to do with the elf," Nathaniel replied with a grin. "They don't seem to be on speaking terms."

Anders spun around, looking in every direction. "Where is Zevran anyway?"

"He must be scouting up ahead, doing his stealthy rogue thing," Nathaniel answered sarcastically. "I think I shall take this opportunity to speak with our fearless leader."

"Well, good luck with that, Nate. Just give me the high sign if you need any healing magic when your conversation is through," Anders offered, laughing quietly to himself.

Nathaniel smiled warmly at Anders. "Thanks, mage," he said, and then quickly walked up the path, positioning himself alongside Elissa.

"Hello, Liss. Anders and I are concerned about you. You seem rather…edgy today."

"Don't be concerned with me. Just keep up with me, for Andraste's sake! I swear Nathaniel; you two are the laziest arses I have ever seen. Even Oghren, with his short legs, can keep up with me." Elissa wondered what else she could complain about, feeling the need to vent. "And by the way, mind your tongue when you speak to me. I don't take well to name calling."

"No one has called you any names, Liss. Lighten up, won't you?" Nathaniel gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "I just wanted to make sure you were feeling well. After all, you had quite a bit to drink last night. I'm sure Anders would be more than happy to zap you with a quick healing spell," he suggested thoughtfully.

Elissa looked into Nathaniel's eyes wanting to berate him, but she could see that his concern was genuine. "I apologize. My mood is quite terrible today, as you know. I feel fine, but please, walk a bit faster and you won't have to hear me yell at you again." His gaze was warm and friendly and she did not want anyone to think her an unpleasant person. Elissa gave him a considerable grin.

"We shall try, but your long, lovely legs carry you with the swiftness of a prized stallion. It is most difficult to keep up with you, Commander," he joked, moving his head side to side, wearing a simpering smile.

"Oh, now you're calling me a horse? If that doesn't earn you some time on the rack, I don't know what will," she snickered, feeling less angry than before.

"See? I knew I could make you laugh. I am not completely useless, you know." Nathaniel felt relieved by her mood change. He was able to charm her, even if only a bit and that gave him new hope.

"Thanks. I needed that, Nathaniel. You are very useful indeed," she remarked in a slightly flirtatious manner. Even as children, his wittiness always lifted her spirits.

"My job is done here. Carry on, Liss." Her sincere and caring expression caused Nathaniel to forgive all of her shortcomings that past couple days.

He turned to walk back to Anders and she grabbed his wrist lightly, staring into his smoldering eyes. "Wait," she said. "Walk with me a while. I feel like chatting a bit. Maybe about old times? That would be a nice distraction, wouldn't it?" Her gaze didn't waver. She took his hand and interlaced her fingers with his.

Nathaniel felt the warmth of a blush on his cheeks. "Old times, you say? Tell me, whatever happened to your faithful Mabari, Kai?"

"Oh, poor Kai is stuck in Denerim, at the castle. He was quite sick when I left for Amaranthine, and I thought it best to leave him in the care of His Majesty, Alistair." Elissa paused in thought for a moment. "One of these days, I shall send word to have someone bring him to the Keep. I miss him tremendously."

Nathaniel was so enjoying his walk, hand in hand with Elissa, that he didn't notice Zevran running down the path with his weapons drawn.

"Ambush! To arms!" Zevran shouted.

Elissa drew her blades and spun around making sure Anders was prepared to fight. Staff in hand, she acknowledged his readiness and nodded to him. Nathaniel's bow already held an arrow, as Zevran raced towards her.

"Bandits up ahead! Ten of them for sure! Elissa, watch now!" Just as Zevran stopped in front of her, an arrow grazed his thigh. "Brasca!" he yelled and spun around to see three archers with crossbows approaching at high-speed. Nathaniel picked off two, but the third disappeared in the brushy edge of the forest. Zevran dashed into the woods before Elissa could say anything. As she sprinted down the path, she could hear the death moan of the third archer as Zevran materialized on the trail, blades flying in every direction, as he struck down two more assailants. "Ah! This really gets the blood pumping!" She eyed Zevran with a smirk, admiring his unabashed and incomparable abilities.

A lone bandit ran towards Elissa with a battleaxe the size of a deepstalker. Her swift footwork outmaneuvered the man, and she cut him down with three fluid movements. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Anders fighting off two rogues. Anders threw fireballs at the men, only one of whom seemed to be affected by them. Elissa sped towards Anders, going for the stronger of the two bandits, and she severed his spinal cord with ease. Just as she was about to smile in victory, an armor-piercing arrow punctured her just to the right of her navel. She fell to the ground, eyes rolling to the back of her head, blackness closing in.

She awoke to Anders' face hovering over her own. "Maker's blood, Anders. I thought you were Alistair for a moment."

"Is that a criticism or a compliment?" he asked curiously.

"A little of both, I guess. He is quite handsome, you know." Moving on to her health, she asked, "What is the status of my injury?"

"Nathaniel helped me to remove the arrow and I have successfully healed the wound, although you need to take it easy. No running about, alright?" Anders shook a finger to make his point.

"Thank you, Anders. I need to get up on my feet now." As Elissa put one hand down on the ground and pushed off to rise, Zevran grabbed her free hand to help her. At first she thought it was Nathaniel. Smiling, she looked up and realized it was Zevran. The smile turned to a scowl quickly. "Unhand me, Zevran!" She pulled her arm away only to fall back to the ground with a thud. Mentally, Zevran performed a little happy-dance.

"Here, my lady. Take my hand." Nathaniel's deep voice penetrated her head, and she reached out for his arm.

"Thank you, Nathaniel. At least you have the presence of mind not to laugh at the Commander of the Grey." She shot a nasty glare at Zevran, who was glaring right back at her and Nathaniel. Once she had her legs in working order, she stomped down the path towards Amaranthine, alone.

Zevran startled Nathaniel by suddenly appearing in front of him. Zevran's eyes were on fire, and he puffed up like a peacock. "I would be cautious, were I you. During combat, one misstep could end your life...accidents of this sort happen all the time."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"There she is," Anders stated as if he had spotted an old friend.

Elissa and her companions viewed the city before them. The City of Amaranthine, once a humble fishing village, was now a key port city and a main center for trade on the coast of the Waking Sea. Walking past the modest homes of the townspeople, Elissa watched as the sun set over the docks.

"A beautiful sunset, yes?" Zevran asked Elissa, admiring her form and not the dusky skyline.

She twisted around and examined Zevran as he stood with his back to the sun. Bathed in the warm colors of twilight, his bronze skin and rippling muscles seemed to glow. "Yes… striking…um, I see a lot of vessels are docked today." She looked back to the docks, uncomfortable with Zevran's nearness.

Zevran sensed her discomfort, but continued to provoke her. "We should go to the waterfront and see if any boats are worth a closer look," he said temptingly.

She looked to him with a curious eye. "Go ahead. You don't need an armed escort, do you?" she scoffed.

He laughed to himself, knowing full well she was interested in the harbor sights. She loved the salty smells of the sea the few times they had sailed together, and he knew she would not be able to stay away from the water for long. "If you insist, my Grey Warden. I will meet up with you later. In the meantime, you know where to find me…"

"Right. Don't rush back on my account…" she muttered under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear. He smirked at her, and disappeared into the sun's rays.

She peered over at Nathaniel, who looked tense and apprehensive. "Nathaniel, as soon as we enter the city, you should go find your sister. You can meet us at The Crown and Lion Inn later this evening…unless you want some company," she asked cautiously.

"Thanks but, no. I think it best if I go alone."

"As you wish." Elissa was disappointed he didn't want her companionship. "Let's get into the city proper then, shall we?"

A city guard approached the group as they neared the gates and wanted to search their baggage for smuggled goods. "The city is having trouble with smugglers and thieves who have all but taken over, my lady. I'm afraid I will need to check your bags"

"I assure you, we are not smugglers. I am Elissa Cousland, Commander of the Grey Wardens. Move aside, please." As she stepped around the guard, another man approached.

"Guard! What are you doing? Are you accusing the Warden Commander of smuggling? Be off, man." The guard left in haste as he realized the predicament he could be in for insulting the Commander of the Grey. "I apologize, Commander. Some of our guards are…overeager. I am the Constable of our fair city. Please, call me Aidan."

Elissa nodded, forgiving the guard's actions. "Not to worry, Aidan. How can I help you with these smugglers your guard spoke of?"

"If you have the time, Commander, the city guards could use your help. Trade has almost come to a complete stop since the smugglers have moved in selling stolen goods at inflated prices. If we could shut down the smuggling ring and seize the supplies, it would benefit a great many needy folk here in the city."

Elissa tipped her head forward in agreement. "I'll see what I can do. Where can I find some intelligence about the location of these criminals?" She felt somewhat excited at the chance for more action. Elissa thought it a wonderful way to introduce herself to the people of Amaranthine.

"Head into the market, and you should find a suspicious individual near Glassric's shop. Glassric, by the way, is a fine weapon smith, in case you have the need for one. In any case, this shady character has been milling around there for days and word is he knows plenty."

"Alright, then. Thank you, Aidan. Come on, boys. Let's go check out this lead." Her two companions followed her through the gates of the city into the marketplace. She sensed Nathaniel's impatience at this slight deviation in their schedule. "Nathaniel…after we speak to this chap, it should be a good time to look for Delilah. Anders and I can figure out our next move while you are exploring."

"Fine by me, Liss." Nathaniel motioned with his hands for the group to move forward. "Shall we?"

As they neared the weapon smith's shop, Elissa noticed the man Aidan spoke of. She walked over to him and introduced herself. "Good day. My name is Elizabeth. I and my friends here," she said pointing to Anders and Nathaniel, "believe we have need of your…services."

The man narrowed his eyes, and gave her a lecherous grin. "Is that so, pretty lady? And which of my services are you interested in?"

"We need some supplies, specialty items, actually. I understand you have some for sale." she said sweetly.

"You must think me a fool, _Commander_. Your charade is pleasant enough, but I think I should have my men take care of things. Get them!" he roared. Four armed men and a mage quickly descended upon Elissa and her friends. Anders quickly cast a freezing spell on the smugglers, and Elissa cut them down one by one. All the while, Nathaniel let loose a steady stream of arrows aimed at the targets. The wardens killed them in short order and the shady character took off running.

With adrenaline still shooting through her, Elissa spun around to check on her associates, half expecting to see Zevran grinning at their success. But, the only one smiling was Nathaniel. Her eyes caught his gaze, and he seemed at a loss for words.

"Nathaniel, are you…alright? Why are you smiling like that?" she asked inquisitively.

"I'm fine. I'm just amazed by your blade skills, Liss." He was truly awestruck by her grace and power. "You are...remarkable, to say the least."

Elissa was blushing at his compliment. "Thank you, kind Ser. And _you_ are an exceptional archer. Maybe you could teach me how to shoot arrows like that sometime," she said with eyebrows raised and an impish grin.

Nathaniel strode over to her and said in a deep voice, "I would be happy to teach you, Liss. In fact, I think you would enjoy it immensely. And maybe, you could return the favor?" She felt even more flush and wasn't sure how to handle his obvious play for her, but Anders spoke up, saving her from answering.

"Why don't I hear anyone complimenting my skills? You two have hurt my magical feelings," Anders said, pouting playfully.

Elissa and Nathaniel looked at each other and laughed enthusiastically. "And you, Ser Mage, are equally as talented with your staff," Elissa remarked.

"I've heard women say that on several occasions, Commander," Anders said wiggling his eyebrows.

"I bet you have, Anders," Elissa said, feeling self-conscious. "Moving on…Nathaniel, go ahead and find Delilah. We'll take care of our rooms and such."

"Yes, I will do that. Wish me luck, Liss?" Nathaniel asked, hoping for a more personal send off.

"Of course. Good fortune, my friend. And take your time getting reacquainted with Delilah." Elissa gave him a quick peck on the cheek and turned to Anders, suppressing the urge to hug Nathaniel. "Let's go, Mage."

Anders got the impression that Elissa was very conflicted about her feelings for Nathaniel, but he didn't meddle. "So, fearless leader, where are we off to now?" he asked.

"_We_ are not off to anywhere, but you are. Please secure us some rooms at the Inn and ask around for any information about the 'Dark Wolf' that Varel mentioned. I would like to know who is conspiring against me as soon as possible. I have an errand to run and I will meet you at the Inn later. Think you can handle things by yourself?" she asked half jokingly.

"Yes, my liege. I can handle things. And, if I may so bold as to ask, where are you going?" Anders thought she was going to look for Zevran, but didn't want to come right out with his suspicion.

"None of your business," she stated emphatically. "Don't worry. I can handle myself well enough. Just do as I say, please." With that, she walked away from Anders and headed for the docks.

The harbor seemed less bustling than Elissa expected it would be, given the need for supplies in a city the size of Amaranthine. There were several vessels carrying grains and the like, and a few ships that may have been owned by pirates. As Elissa strolled around the pier, she caught sight of one ship that was most certainly a pirate ship - _The__ Siren's Call_. Its captain, Isabela, was the same woman she had slandered not so many days ago. Isabela had picked up a special fighting technique during her travels, one that depended on speed instead of strength. She called herself a "duelist" and had taught Elissa some parrying skills at the Pearl in Denerim. If Zevran was to be anywhere, he would be with the Queen of the Eastern Seas.

Elissa prowled the docks, slipping in and around the shadows of nightfall. Carefully, she crept towards Isabela's ship, tiptoeing past the drunken sailors that littered the boardwalk. As she approached the ship, she could make out two silhouettes backlit by lanterns. Through the door of the Captain's quarters', she recognized Zevran's outline in an instant. Inching closer, Elissa boarded the ship as covertly as possible, careful not to make a sound. She held her position alongside Isabela's state room, and peeked in through a tiny porthole, listening for dialogue between the former lovers.

"Such a pleasure to see you again, Isabela. Truly, you a wonder to behold." Zevran spoke with his usual flirtatiousness and swagger.

"Still charming as ever, Zev. I must admit I long for your compliments." Isabela moved closer to Zevran and caressed his cheek with her fingers, her lips barely an inch away from his. "Maybe I could entice you to use those strong hands at my...helm? I seem to be short one of my crewmen." Elissa clenched her fists at the sight. Isabela's smooth, sultry words gave Elissa goose bumps.

Zevran sighed and backed away from Isabela. "Alas, I must decline your tempting offer, my dear. I have only come for a visit, and perhaps some information." Elissa inwardly smiled. She thought he might succumb to Isabela's sensual gesture of intimacy, but he refused.

"Come now, Zev. You must be a little interested in having some fun with me, or are you under the spell of a lovely woman…_again_?" Isabela asked affably.

"Again? Ah, you are speaking of the Grey Warden I travelled with during the Blight, yes?" Zevran asked.

"Of course, Zev. She had you wrapped around her finger. As I recall, I taught her some duelist skills after a game of Wicked Grace. I also recall she did not want to share you with anyone, even if she joined us in a sexy romp aboard my ship." She caught Zevran spinning the ring on his finger. "Don't tell me the great Zevran Arainai has settled down?" Her wild, high-pitched laughter pierced the night air. Elissa felt a wave of relief wash over her knowing that Zevran was not going to do anything but talk with Isabela.

Zevran was irritated by her questioning and obvious amusement. "When you are through entertaining yourself with my personal life, I would like to ask you a few questions, if I may."

"Oh, Zev. It's such a crime to have you off the market. Men and women from here to Par Vollen will be slitting their wrists in despair. Tell me, that ring you are wearing…a token of love and fidelity?"

"Isabela, my dear, let me say this. Who I choose to sleep with is my business. I will only say that I am no longer available to be had…in the way you are accustomed to having me. And yes, the Grey Warden still commands my attention. Satisfied?"

"Never…but I'm used to disappointment." Isabela shook her head in disbelief. "Well Zev, I wish you luck. Should she ever leave you bereft, I would welcome you with open arms." Isabela kissed him tenderly on the lips, as if to say farewell. Elissa was surprised by Isabela's sentimentality. But what really made her heart skip a beat was Zevran's loyalty to their relationship. She almost burst into tears, and in her attempt to control her emotions, she let go a small squeal of happiness.

Zevran and Isabela had Elissa's back to the wall in an instant, each with a dagger at her throat. Immediately they realized it was Elissa, who was looking quite embarrassed; they sheathed their weapons and took a step back.

Isabela smirked at Zevran. "Well, well, look what the tide dragged in, Zev."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"That's one way to get yourself killed, honey. What brings you to my ship?" Zevran seemed to be at ease with Elissa's appearance, but Isabela's snarky comment almost sent Elissa overboard. Isabela kept the pressure on. "Oh right, your lover here, yes?"

They would see right through her story, but Elissa tried to sell them some kind of explanation anyway. "Greetings, Isabela. It's good to see you again. Sorry for sneaking around on your ship. I was just…admiring its beauty when you discovered me." Elissa looked a bit ragged. Her hair had fallen loose from its braid, a braid _she _had made much less skillfully than Zevran had for her in the past. Waves of her blonde locks floated on the breeze, her sapphire eyes reflecting the lantern glow. Zevran couldn't help but marvel at her loveliness.

"Zevran tells me you two are still…involved. Lucky girl, you are." Elissa felt heat rising to her cheeks.

"Yes, I suppose I am very lucky to have such a handsome suitor." Elissa glanced at Zevran, wondering why he had kept Isabela in the dark about their separation. His expression did not change.

Isabela smiled naughtily. "Can I offer you a cabin to get together with your man? You know, to be away from prying eyes."

Elissa waved off Isabela's suggestion. "That's very generous of you, Isabela, but I think..."

"I think that is a fine offering, Isabela," Zevran cut in. "Which room, my dear Captain?" Elissa was open-mouthed, and before she could respond, Isabela was leading them down the stairs to a secluded cabin.

"Are you sure you don't want my company, Zev? Three is _never_ a crowd on my vessel…" Isabela leered at Elissa with wanton eyes.

"Quite sure, my lovely buccaneer. But thank you, even so." Isabela nodded with a sly grin and closed the door to the room, but Zevran knew she would have her ear to the wood, eavesdropping. He placed a finger to his lips indicating to Elissa to stay silent.

Zevran moved closer to Elissa and whispered in her ear. "Say nothing that Isabela might misconstrue about our…arrangement."

Elissa spoke in a quiet voice. "To what end? Why is our _arrangement_ of any importance to her?" Elissa was annoyed with the whole situation.

"I do not _think_ it is important to her, but all the same, I do not want anyone knowing of a rift in our relationship." Zevran didn't want to believe Isabela would betray him, but one can never be too cautious. If Isabela thought he was free from the Warden's influence, she might try to lure him back to his former life. After all, she knew many Crows, and she probably had some information Zevran needed to know about his own safety. 'Better safe than sorry,' was Zevran's motto of the day, or so he tried to convince himself.

"Well, what are we supposed to do for the next 15 minutes?" Elissa whispered, all put out.

"15 minutes? My dear, when have we ever shared intimacies for only 15 minutes? No, no. We must stay here at least an hour. And it must _sound_ as if we are enjoying each other's company, understand?" He tenderly took her hand and led her to the bed. "Now, what would you like to do with our time together, my Grey Warden?"

Elissa tried to keep her voice down, but it was getting harder by the minute. She looked at him, her face distraught, and feeling confined. "Zevran, I can't do this. I can't sit here and pretend to be…making love. I don't even know **how** to fake it, for Maker's sake!"

Whispering in her ear once more, he said, "Shhh, my dear. Keep your voice low, and calm." Zevran's face was buried in her sweet smelling hair, tinged with a hint of sea salt. Without thinking, he nuzzled her neck, but then withdrew quickly. She, too, was losing control of her senses. Her eyes met his, and all she wanted to do was ravage him. Instead, she slid away, increasing the distance between them.

Elissa's eyes filled with tears as she spoke softly. "Zevran, I really can't…stay here with you, alone. It's just too much for me to handle. I'm sorry." She stood up and headed for the door, but he grabbed her shoulders, spinning her around to face him.

Zevran moved his head in close, and nuzzled her ear, nibbling the lobe that held her earring. "My dove, let us give Isabela what she wants. Hm?." Elissa was almost breathless, as his supple lips worked their magic. His scent was overpowering, and she felt weak in his embrace. "No strings attached, my dear. Just an uncomplicated display of affection…"

"Zevran," she breathed in his ear, "nothing is uncomplicated with us. I…want you, so very much, but if we have to go back to…our friendship status, I can't. I just can't. Please, let me leave." She made a weak attempt to pull away from his arms, but he brought her in closer, close enough to feel his heart pounding with desire.

Zevran placed his hands on her cheeks and drew her into a sweet, yet fierce kiss. His lips wandered across her cheek and down her neckline, heading further towards her ample cleavage. Her chest heaved forward, and her head fell back as he smothered her with wet kisses. "May I remove your armor, my dear? It is so very cumbersome." Elissa brought her head up and gazed into his honey-colored eyes. She was powerless from his touch, vulnerable to his words. As Zevran began to unfasten her chest piece, she did not protest.

She watched him toss her armor to the floor, and she barely spoke above a whisper. "Zevran, you have no idea how much I have missed you, missed…this." She reached down to massage his arousal, and was not surprised to find him at full attention.

"Ah, you are most titillating, my dear…please, continue," he said, squeezing her breast. Zevran gently pushed her back towards the bed while she tried to stroke him. He removed what was left of her armor and stripped of his own in one graceful motion, joining her on the mattress. She curled herself around him, pressing against his body earnestly, and he couldn't prevent a loving smile from escaping his lips. Her hips met his and she ground into him, silently asking for more. "Oh my…mi amor, you are quite starved aren't you?"

"Please Zevran, please…I want you…," Elissa murmured. She rolled onto her back and he moved between her thighs while she squirmed with hunger. He slid into her slowly, causing her to gasp with delight. He pressed his forehead to hers, his eyes demanding she look at him. Steadily, he pushed into her, inch by inch, until she was completely filled. Her long legs wrapped around him, begging for more as she thrust her hips forward when his moved back. Her eyes glistened and her heart beat rapidly as he withdrew quickly, and then slammed back inside. "Zevran, you are…amazing…lover," she breathed.

He shivered, excited by her lusty moans, inspired by her impassioned eyes gazing into his, eyes as blue as the sea on a clear day, eyes that held a special adoration for him, and only him. "My love, you don't know what you do to me…how I feel…what I want...for us." Again, he pushed inside her, feeling her breasts upon his chest each time he was engulfed by her. "Come with me, my love. Follow me…to the edge."

Again and again, their lips met as he thrust inside her. With her eyes holding his, she was barely able to speak. "Take me there, lover...take me to the edge with you…" He increased the pace, until they were recklessly crashing into each other. She tightened her arms around him, and clawed at his skin. She cried out his name in ecstasy. "Zevran! Yes!"

Together, they leapt from the cliff into an ocean of release. They panted heavily, his sweat intermingling with her tears, neither one wanting to detach from the other. Zevran wiped her tears away and kissed her tenderly. She buried her head in his neck, planting kisses as she took in his scent. Finally, they admitted defeat, and he rolled off to her side grinning, his arm draped across her stomach. "I think Isabela got more than she expected, mi amor." Elissa giggled at the thought of Isabela being aroused by the racket she and Zevran had made. "Next time, we can include her, if you like," he said suggestively.

"I think not. I will not share what is…wait, what did you say? Next time?" Elissa asked guardedly.

"Yes, my sweet Elissa, I did say next time. You have made me a weak man, you see. I do not want to be without you, not even for a short while. I think we need to speak on this further, of course. But I am willing to resume our relations as before, on the condition that you tell me everything and anything that weighs on you. Complete and utter honesty, even if it is something neither of us want to speak of or hear." He meant every word, as he stared deeply into her eyes.

"You answer my questions, and I answer yours, right? I think that can be arranged." Elissa ran her fingers through his hair, stopping to caress the point of his ear. "I love you, Zevran Arainai. If I could, I would say it a million times over."

"And I would never tire of hearing it. You bring light into the darkness, my love." Zevran pulled her into an adoring embrace and sighed. "I guess we should get back to Isabela. It is getting late, and our other companions are in need of direction, no doubt."

"Yes. You're right, I'm sure. It's too bad I can't thank Isabela for our…reunion. But I will thank her for allowing us this time alone." Elissa gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek and jumped off the bed.

After putting on their armor, Zevran led Elissa up the stairs to the main deck of the ship. Once again, she noticed his muscular backside. She reached out and pinched a generous amount of flesh, causing Zevran to lurch forward and trip on a stair.

"Brasca!" He spun around only to see her covering her mouth, holding back laughter. "Whatever possessed you to do that, you minx!"

"I couldn't help myself…Sorry?" she said playfully.

This was the woman he loved. She was a tease, carefree and naughty, almost like a child. "I would take care to watch my behind were I you, my dear. That was tantamount to declaring war." She was laughing louder now, and he chuckled at her amusement.

"You two are done already? My, my, Zev. What has happened to your endurance?" Isabela appeared at the top of the stairs. She was a bit jealous of the obvious affection Elissa and Zevran held for each other as they climbed up hand in hand.

"Isabela, it is getting late and we need to see to our friends. Can we speak more tomorrow? I'd like to pick your brain about a few things concerning my former employers."

"Of course, Zev. We'll be docked for at least another day. I look forward to it." Isabela directed her next comment to Elissa. "You are lucky indeed, Commander. Take care of my Zev, will you? I'd hate to see anything ruin his lovely face," she said with a hint of threat.

Elissa nodded and smiled. "Allow me to thank you, Isabela. Your accommodations were most welcome." She took Isabela's hand in hers and squeezed it gently. "I will guard Zevran with my life, do not doubt this," Elissa said most matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I can see the kind of woman you are. You are both deserving of each other." Isabela wasn't necessarily happy that Zevran was attached. On the other hand, she couldn't help but admire Elissa. "If ever you need my skills as a Captain, say…to perform a marriage union, let me know. I will be happy to oblige...Now, off with you. I need my beauty rest," she said disappearing into her quarters.

Zevran and Elissa looked at each other, both thinking the same thing.

_A wedding at sea?_


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N:**__ The Darkspawn Chronicles side tracked me…The Antivan language appears to be some kind of Spanish/Italian/French mix. To make things consistent and easy, my Zevran speaks Spanish. Hence, mi amor and not amora, etc., at least that's what the translation website told me. I know Zevran is often OOC, but this is how I would want him to be, in my perfect world._

**Chapter 16**

Elissa and Zevran left _The Siren's Call_ and headed for the Crown and Lion Inn where their companions were waiting for them. As they walked the dimly lit streets of the marketplace, Elissa reached out for Zevran's hand and intertwined her fingers with his. He seemed more comfortable than usual with this outward sign of affection. Elissa thought it felt right, natural, and too good to be true. But it was true, and the lasting grin on her face emphasized that fact. Zevran was smiling as well, and his contentment compelled him to discuss the disarray of her hair.

"My dear, I beg you, do not attempt to braid your hair. If you want it away from your face, just fasten a simple ponytail. Promise me that, won't you?"

Elissa was perturbed by his comment. "I tried my best, Zevran, but it's hard to braid my hair...it's so long and unruly. Maybe I should cut it short," she said holding it up to her ears.

"No! Absolutely not. I prefer my woman to look like a _woman…_like the deadly, sex goddess she is and not some male warrior." Zevran pulled the hair from her hands and fluffed it. "There. Much better."

"Your _woman_, huh? Does my messy hair really bother you that much?"

"It is not the fact that it is messy. The point is that your talents lie in other endeavors, not hair styles. Stick with what you know, yes?" he said pointing to her weapons.

"I feel like I should be offended by that crack...alright, I'll leave the braiding to you, lover. You do know this means you need to be around every morning I wake?"

"Precisely," Zevran said shrewdly.

Neither one wanted to speak of Isabela's offer to perform a marriage ceremony on her ship. Elissa was afraid to push her luck and Zevran still wanted the business in Amaranthine to be over before they started a new life. Still, the idea stuck in her brain, and Elissa couldn't help but feel very hopeful about her future, about their future together.

"Before we get to the Inn, I want to tell about what we encountered while you were…fishing."

"Ha, very clever," he chuckled. "So, did you happen upon some ill-bred delinquents?"

Elissa told him of the smuggling ring and the men she had confronted with Anders and Nathaniel, and that she had also asked Anders to find the 'Dark Wolf'. Wanting to be completely honest, and knowing she had to be, she explained to Zevran what happened after the skirmish.

"I turned around wanting to bask in the victory with you, but of course, you weren't there…and Nathaniel was staring at me…he was impressed by my fighting skills or so he said. I complimented his archery abilities and asked for a lesson sometime and then I wished him luck finding Delilah and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then he left." The weight of one little kiss was now off her shoulders.

"I see. Well, I am sorry I was not there to help; and that, I can assure you, will never happen again. As far as the archery lesson is concerned, I can help you with that, if you wish. Although, as much as I hate to say it, I believe Nate's skills are superior to mine," Zevran offered. "His archery skills, that is."

"Yes, he is an incredible archer, Zevran. Maybe he could give us both some pointers," she said excitedly. Then she saw the grimace on Zevran's face. "Or…maybe not. Sorry."

"No, no. Don't mind me…I guess being candid might be trickier than I thought. Don't let that stop how you, however. It is still for the best, yes?"

"Maker knows this is going to be challenging. I'll try to go easy on you, my poor Zevvy," Elissa said feigning pity.

"Ach, stop that this instant!" Zevran grabbed her arm and twisted it around her back with a powerful burst of energy. "Now, take it back, or I may be forced to do something drastic."

She whimpered from the dull pain in her arm and turned her head to look him in the eye. "As you say, lover." The second he released her, she quickly swept a foot under his legs, causing him to crash to the ground.

Zevran was momentarily stunned, but laughed as she reached out to help him to his feet. "Touché, Elissa."

She hugged him tightly and gave him a big, wet kiss on the cheek. "Let's save these antics for later, though. I think Anders and Nathaniel have waited long enough, and we have much to talk about."

"Yes…later, my beauty. Then I shall properly reprimand you," he whispered wickedly.

As they approached the entrance to the Crown and Lion, Zevran paused for a moment and turned to Elissa. "Are you ready?"

"Of course. Why are you asking?"

"I think it best that we make it plain to our companions that we are back in partnership, yes?"

"Yes, I get it, Zevran. Maker's breath, you are such a control freak. I had no intention of hiding it anyway." She clucked her tongue and shook her head. "Should we cross the threshold locked in a steamy embrace, then?" she asked playfully.

"Ha! Now that would be entertaining, but it is not necessary. I just want to be in agreement."

"We are, Zevran." Elissa grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the inn. "Come on. I'm starving!"

As Zevran opened the door for Elissa, she immediately saw Anders and Nathaniel at a table covered in food and drinks. She led her lover to the two Wardens, hungry for the fare before her, and she was astonished by the sheer quantity.

"Gentlemen, good to see you're spending our coin on necessities. I hope there is enough money left for our rooms," she scolded teasingly.

Anders spoke with a full mouth. "Ewissa, gwood to see you. Puw up a hair."

"Swallow, Anders. Didn't they teach you manners in the Tower?" she said jokingly.

Nathaniel took a swig of his ale and observed Elissa and Zevran. The archer's eyes drew together in a squint, not happy with Elissa and Zevran's resumed closeness. After they sat down, Zevran sipped some wine and lounged back on his chair, wearing a catlike grin. Elissa felt the tension radiating from Nathaniel. "So, did you find Delilah?" she asked uneasily.

"Yes, I did," was all he said.

"Well? Tell us the details. How is she?" Elissa asked.

Nathaniel spoke quietly, feeling uneasy with Zevran's cunning eyes on him. "She is quite happy with her life here. She is married to a merchant and has child due by spring." It was clear that Nathaniel did not want to say much with Zevran at the table. Although Zevran loathed the idea, he thought he should leave Elissa alone with Nathaniel for a while, hoping at the very least that she would dash any hopes Nathaniel might have had about romancing her away from Zevran.

"Anders, come with me. Let's find you a pretty, young lass for your enjoyment, hm?" Elissa looked at Zevran appreciatively and gave him a reassuring wink.

"We shall return in a short while, my love. Let's go, Anders. A lady of pleasure awaits your touch…but clean the grease off your face first." Zevran lightly squeezed Elissa's shoulder and pried Anders away from a rather large turkey leg, ignoring his pleas to stay and eat some more.

Elissa redirected her gaze to Nathaniel. "I get the feeling you would rather not discuss personal issues, or any issues, in front of Zevran. I'm sorry…I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but it would best if you got beyond your hatred for Zevran. We all need to work together," Elissa said stoically.

"That simple, is it? What has changed between you and Zevran? It seems you have…kissed and made up?" Nathaniel said smoothly, faking complacency.

She could not evade the reality of her relationship any longer. "Yes. I love Zevran." Elissa didn't relish this conversation, knowing it would hurt Nathaniel, but the truth had to be spoken. "Zevran and I are meant to be together…I am committed to him and…I'm sorry if I have led you on." She held her breath and waited for his response.

Nathaniel shrugged his shoulders and simply said, "If you say so, Liss." Elissa thought it strange that he accepted her words without arguing the point. She assumed he was just happy that he had found his sister and wasn't in the mood for a debate. She also thought it might be part of plan to win her over, but she was relieved when he quickly changed the subject back to his sibling. "Delilah and I had an enjoyable visit. I…I have been such a fool, Liss. Delilah told me much about my father. She said…he deserved to die for all his wrong doings." Nathaniel eyes were far away for a moment. "I apologize for treating you unkindly when you first found me."

"It's not your fault, Nathaniel. He was his own man, and I think anyone would have reacted the way you did." Elissa was pleased with his accommodating behavior. "So, I guess you are going to be an uncle? That's wonderful, Nathaniel."

"Yes, I think a child will be a great addition to my family, what little family I have left." Sadness filled his voice as he poked at his food with his fork.

"At least you have someone to call family, Nathaniel," she sighed pensively.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to say…by Andraste, I know. I _know_ you don't have any family anymore, all because of my father.

Elissa didn't mean for an accusation to roll of her tongue and she tried to smooth over her quick words. "Actually, I consider my friends and fellow Wardens to be my family now. So…welcome to the family, Nathaniel Howe." She put her hand on top of his and smiled sincerely. Nathaniel looked at her, amazed by her selflessness. He pulled his hand away slowly, regretfully. Elissa felt a wave of pity invade her core. "Oh, I didn't mean…I'm sorry. I just thought…"

"Remind me **never** to try and impress a girl with Zevran around!" Anders interrupted loudly.

Anders' outburst startled Elissa. "Oh no, poor Anders. Did Zevran show you up? He can't help himself, you know," she acknowledged.

Zevran smirked and rolled his shoulders at her fierce look. "No, no. This was not my fault…well, not entirely. Anders here," Zevran said pointing to the mage, "has the social graces of a hurlock when confronted with a beautiful woman."

"Zev! She wanted you, not me! Not my fault, you bloody assassin!" Anders was shaking his head in absolute disgust.

"I think Anders has a point, Zevran. You just can't let someone else get the girl, can you?" Elissa gave Zevran a sexy smile of perception. She put her arm out over the table gesturing to Zevran and Anders. "Have a seat, gentlemen. We have much to discuss." Elissa's stomach grumbled with hunger. As the mage and the elf sat down, she waved over a serving girl and demanded her food be placed in front of her posthaste. "Where is my mutton stew, girl? I'm famished!"

"Right away, m'lady," the girl said before speeding off to the kitchen.

"Now, tell me, Anders, what news do you have for me?"

Anders told Elissa of his payment of 50 sovereigns to the _Dark Wolf_ to unearth the identities of those plotting against the wardens. They were to meet him in two days, just after daybreak, by the back gates to the city. He also mentioned his friend, Namaya, who had found out that Anders' phylactery had been moved, and was now stored in a warehouse in the city, but the building was heavily guarded and templars were watching anyone who approached the entrance.

Elissa reassured Anders that she would do everything in her power to get the phylactery. "They should not be allowed to control you, Anders."

He sighed in relief. "Thanks, Elissa. The sooner we get the vial, the better I'd feel." Anders paused for a moment and groaned. "There is one more thing, Elissa…there is talk of the King and Anora."

"What about them? Their pending wedding I assume?" she asked indifferently, while digging in to her freshly arrived mutton.

"Well, that…and a bit more. It seems Anora has no use for the Grey Wardens. Word is she has convinced Alistair to dissolve Ferelden's association with us."

"Blast it all! That woman is such a spiteful, devious…bitch. I _knew_ this would happen. Well, the King has no authority over us anyway, but this does not bode well for what we are trying to accomplish here." Elissa rubbed her temples, muttering under her breath. "Stupid Alistair…he never should have killed Loghain; I shouldn't have let that happen. Maker, nothing is ever easy. And now we will lose what few factions we have on our side…" Zevran reached under the table and gently squeezed her leg. He knew that the tough, outer shell of their leader was cracking under pressure. Realizing why Zevran had done this, she cleared her throat, reined in her emotions, and sat up straight. "Alright. Thank you Anders."

Glancing at Zevran, she continued on as Warden Commander. "And Zevran…you are planning to speak with Isabela tomorrow, correct? I assume you will ask what she knows about the King and Anora. Oh, and the Crows, as well."

"Yes ma'am. I will do what is expected." Zevran was not surprised she had mentioned the Antivan Crows. It had been many months since Taliesan's death, but eventually, the Crows would catch up with him. He had not spoken about it much, mainly to save Elissa from worry. "Perhaps first thing in the morning? Do you think you will be in need of my services at that time?"

Elissa eyed him sweetly as if to say, "I will always be in need of your services, lover." She nodded her head in agreement

"First thing it is, my dear."

"Anders, you have our room keys?" Elissa asked.

"Yes, although it seems we have an extra room now. I thought you were going to be…alone."

"I guess you and Nathaniel have your own beds for the night. How lucky for you both," she said grinning suggestively. "I'll remove lover boy here from the dining area and you two can check out the local flavor."

"Oh. Very generous, Commander. Come on Nate. Let's make the most of our evening." Anders waved Nathaniel over.

"You go on, Anders. I am rather tired and just want to get some rest. Good luck." Nathaniel took his key, and stood up to depart. He looked at Elissa, smiled and said, "Sleep well, Liss." Then he turned his back on Zevran and left for his room.

Something about Nathaniel's mood struck Elissa as odd. She couldn't put her finger on it, but vowed to figure it out tomorrow. She took Zevran by the hand and led him away from their table. "Come on, my handsome Antivan. Let's retire for the evening."

Zevran stopped to speak quietly to the mage. "Remember Anders, women like whispers of sweet nothings in their ear. Smile often, praise their beauty and you shall be greatly rewarded."

"Is that all it takes?" Elissa rolled her eyes. "Anders, just be…you. Don't listen to Zevran. You are handsome and charming. You'll know what to do."

"Has escaped you both that I am very familiar with what ladies want from a man? A good-looking mage with a powerful staff can reel them in easily, no spells needed." Anders wandered off mumbling something about a wayward assassin and his thickheaded Grey Warden causing Elissa and Zevran to laugh the entire way up the stairs to their room.

As usual, Zevran bowed with a flourish and held the door for Elissa as she entered the suite. Next to the fireplace, a sofa ornamented with carved designs, beckoned to her. A fire had already been built and the warmth from the hearth comforted Elissa immediately. Her cheeks were increasingly flushed from the heat as she stared hypnotically into the flames.

"So quiet, my dove…" Zevran's voice caused her to startle and she looked to him, wide-eyed as he moved to sit next to her. "Are you brooding, Elissa?" Zevran put his hand behind her neck and massaged her tenderly.

Her face looked rather gloomy, and definitely worried. "I need to be sure this is what you want, Zevran. I mean…us…together."

"Do you not know me by now, amor? I am nothing if not honest." He ran his fingers down her arm, and took both her hands in his. "Tan seguro como destino, mi belleza……as sure as fate, my beauty."

She sighed heavily and leaned in to kiss him. Their lips met in a sweet, brief kiss. Zevran tucked her hair behind her ear, thumbing her earring, and smiling affectionately at her. He reached out and pulled her into his lap. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, sobbing.

Confused by her crying, Zevran gently lifted her chin. "Why the tears, my love? I had thought this would make you happy?"

"It does. Very happy…I love you, Zevran." Her flawless blue eyes gazed into his, searching for something, but what, she did not know. She still smelled of the sea, and her pleasurable aroma called to him. As he admired her perfection, he had many stimulating thoughts running through his mind, thoughts he would see to fruition, if he was fortunate. His lips caught hers in a heated kiss, drawing a soft moan from deep in her throat. Her entire body pulsed with tension.

Elissa pulled away slightly. "You are so beautiful, Zevran. A strange word to call a man, I know. But it's true. I only wish I had seen this before…before I got involved with Alistair. If I had only known then what I know now…" Her words were filled with sorrow and regret. "I hope my past actions do not bring any harm to you. I couldn't bear it if something…"

Zevran put a finger across her lips to silence her. "I will not allow any harm to come to you or me. I _will_ protect us. Besides, do you really think Alistair, as king, would do anything improper?"

"I really don't know. You heard Anders. Anora can be very callous and vindictive. She knows where we are and could send someone…or tell the Crows. They could come for you, or me, or both of us. There are so many people out to get us, and I have dragged you into Grey Warden politics, too. I can't help but worry about these things…it is overwhelming at times." He was not surprised by her admission as she had only let_ him_ see this soft, tormented side. Zevran thought she had made some valid points, points to reflect on some other time. He felt a moment of alarm in the pit of his stomach, and then it passed.

"Mi amor, I know it is easy for me to tell you not to worry. But understand that I am here for you, to protect you, guide you, and take care of you…in any capacity…" Zevran threw her a devilish grin and stroked her hair absently. "Let us enjoy this night. Maybe a massage is in order, yes?"

"Oh yes, that would be wonderful." Zevran rose from the couch with his love in his arms, cradled in a secure embrace. He softly placed her on the bed and unfastened her armor, removing the leathers carefully. Peeling off her undergarments, he brushed his hands across her chest. She planted herself on the bed, half of her face resting on a pillow, the other half facing the ceiling. Elissa awaited his strong hands, his skilled ministrations. He placed himself beside her and began lightly compressing her tense shoulders, listening to her sighs of respite. He trailed his fingers upwards and stroked the muscles around her neck, purring into her ear, leaving kisses upon her cheek. "So wonderful, Zevran…"

Zevran continued working her shoulders, the palms of his hands moving in circles, alternating with deep finger pressure. In between squeezes, he trailed a finger down her spine, past the soft mounds of flesh, to the most sensitive of places.

Her bottom rose involuntarily as he slid a finger inside. She whimpered softly as he moved his hand away, back to her shoulders. Her face reddened and her entire body ached for more.

"Let go, my love. Relax, and I will take care of your burdens," he breathed into her ear.

Over and over, his hands roamed up and down, in and out, playing her like a fine musical instrument. He was driving her mad with his touch. When she could take no more, he tenderly turned her over, moving slowly to mount her, and gazing at her radiant face. "Elissa, look at me."

She glanced at him only to be consumed by his golden brilliance. Silently, her eyes willed him to move deep inside her. Sweat beaded on her forehead, her cheeks flushed with pleasure as she watched his face grow more intense. She whispered to him. Then he began. Slow, deep thrusts filled her completely. Every inch of her body hummed with ecstasy as he licked her lips and nibbled her ears, driving himself deeper. They were entangled together, both unsure where one started and the other ended. His fingers travelled over her curves as she cried out for mercy. Fully immersed in her warmth, he ceased movement, savoring their oneness. Her mouth covered his hungrily; her tongue thrilled at the taste of his feverish passion. One last plunge of shared desire and it finished them. He collapsed onto her, as their bodies quivered with release. She awarded him with her customary giggle of delight as he slid to her side, holding her tightly.

"I aim to please, my dear," he said sweetly.

Elissa cuddled closer to him, wrapping her leg around his, her breathing now shallow from fatigue. "You please me more than you know, Zevran."

He felt her drifting off, satisfied. Zevran felt more secure, more at ease than he had ever thought possible. He would think about her worries tomorrow. "Te amo, mi paloma."

As the Fade closed in, she whispered, "I love you, too."


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: **Forgive me...I'm still new to this FF stuff and forget to thank those who alert/review/fav. So, here it is...Thank you very much. It really makes my day. Constructive criticism/comments welcome. Please, don't be too hard on me..._

**Chapter 17**

The bright light of the morning sun shone between the curtains, directly into her eyes. Elissa's first sensation was one of disorientation, and then annoyance. While feeling completely secure and comfortable, she knew the day ahead would be demanding and dangerous. Zevran was stretched out next out her, lounging across most of the bed. "Morning, Zevran…Maker, will you move over. The sun is in my face and I can't stand it!"

"Good Morning, my grumpy one." Zevran flipped to his side smirking. He grabbed Elissa by the waist, and pulled her on top of him. Immediately, she felt his arousal. "This is a fine way to start the day, yes?" His lips wrapped around hers, his arms tightly drawing her in.

Elissa laughed at his insatiable appetite. "You, lover, are incorrigible." She reached down and stroked him softly. "And usually, I am easily corrupted. But we have a busy day before us." She rolled off, slapped his backside and launched herself off the bed. "Up and at 'em, soldier."

"Tsk. Sometimes, you are just not fun to be around," he said irritated by her command.

Zevran and Elissa performed their usual morning rituals to start the day. "I am off to the _Siren's Call_, my dear," he said, gathering up his weapons. "This should not take long. In the meantime, try to stay out of trouble," he advised wagging a finger at her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to tag along?" she asked while brushing her hair.

Zevran took hold of her brush and braided her hair with ease, tying it off with a strip of leather. "Although I will miss you terribly, I think it best I go alone. Isabela will be more cooperative." He gazed at their images in the mirror. "We are a striking pair, yes?"

"That's one word for it..." Elissa hugged him tightly, inhaling deeply of his sun kissed skin. "Please, be careful..."

"No worries, my dove." Zevran kissed her forehead and left, locking the door behind him. He caught a glint of something shiny to his left and stood paralyzed for a moment, staring at the dagger plunged into the wood. The knife pinned a note to the door jamb. He quickly pulled out the blade, took the note and sped to the main room of the inn, his eyes madly searching for the culprit. With his stomach churning and his heart racing, he read the message.

_Z._

_Your dessert looked delicious. _

_We should speak. SC. Now._

_A._

"Antonio...," he muttered under his breath. Glancing around the room again, he saw no suspicious characters that concerned him. If they wanted him, they would have gotten to him by now.

Antonio was an Antivan Crow. Zevran had found him, already a young man of fourteen, wandering Antiva City with barely a stitch of clothes on his scarred back, sick with fever, and skinny as a beanpole. He recruited him, even after sensing that Antonio had suffered at the hands of something evil. He saw resolve and potential in Antonio's eyes; Zevran would build him up, make him a man to be feared. He took him to the Crow compound where the other assassins laughed at the scrawny boy, and mocked Zevran for thinking he could make him into one of them. But Antonio had reminded Zevran of himself, once upon a time. As soon as Antonio was strong enough to learn, Zevran taught him how survive. His protégé was a quick study, eager to forget his past life as an unwilling servant for a corrupt merchant and he felt comfortable with the elf's deliberate ways. Antonio had only told him sparse details of his life, but it was clear that he was abused, for years. As such, he had to be treated specially, and carefully; Zevran knew exactly what to do.

Antonio exercised every day, each muscle in his body becoming more and more rock hard over time. His wavy, pitch-black hair was worn loosely to his shoulders and his intense green eyes burned a hole through everyone he looked at, except Zevran. He grew handsome, rugged, and every man and woman noticed him, wanted him. He soaked up Zevran's skills and sex appeal as his own, vanishing in the shadows, and fighting with lightning speed. Zevran helped him get through the arduous sexual training of the Crows, personally teaching him how to pleasure men, and how to receive his own pleasure. He calmed him when his anger raged at another man's touch. Bedding a man proved difficult for Antonio as he would picture the face of the man who had raped him repeatedly as a boy. The male targets, with whom intimacy was required, were often mutilated beyond recognition in the end. Zevran took care of the bodies when necessary, and looked the other way when Antonio exacted his vengeance on the merchant who stole his innocence.

Zevran was very proud of what he had accomplished with Antonio. After two years of guidance and much success surviving Crow torture methods, Zevran took him on a simple mission. He was to execute the cheating wife of an Antivan noble, and her lover. Zevran waited in the darkness for the job to be completed. The fledgling Crow did as he was ordered, but not before having sex with the woman as her lover watched, tied to a chair. Zevran was his teacher, his protector, his savior, and he had taught Antonio well.

Zevran assumed he was in Amaranthine to finish a job, but couldn't work out why Antonio wanted to see him. He quickly left the inn and headed for the docks, where Antonio waited for him aboard the _Siren's Call. _

When Zevran arrived, he saw Isabela and Antonio socializing on the deck. Zevran watched for a few minutes, to discern the mood. They seemed friendly enough, chatting casually. Antonio was extraordinarily masculine, very fit, and absolutely mouth-watering. Isabela's sexual posturing was obvious, her lustful eyes taking in every inch of him. The former Crow walked towards them and boarded the ship.

"Isabela my dear, why didn't you tell me our good-looking friend was in Amaranthine?" Zevran sauntered over to Antonio and patted him on the shoulder.

"I wanted to tell you myself, Zev," he said, emerald eyes piercing amber. "You are looking well. Life with the Warden suits you, I take it?"

Zevran tensed at the mention of his Warden. "My life is good enough, yes. What brings you to the city? A contract, I assume?"

"Of course, but do not worry. It is not you I seek to finish."

"Oh? Well, that _is_ good news," Zevran chuckled. "Tell me then, what _do _you seek?" Zevran's tone became serious as he glared at his former student, finding it difficult to read Antonio's body language_. I taught him __**too**__ well, _he thought_._

"I shall give you some privacy. Please, use my quarters to speak," Isabela said, quietly leaving the two men alone.

Antonio stared at Zevran, memories of his Crow training flooding his brain, memories of a blond elf telling him to be strong, to be brave. "Zev, it is good to see you. It has been…too long," he said sincerely.

"Yes, too long. I am pleased the Crow life has been good to you." Although it was somewhat uplifting to see Antonio successful, Zevran would not let his guard down no matter how genuine he seemed. "Tell me, how far have you risen in the ranks of the Crows?"

"Right hand to Master Ponifico," Antonio said arrogantly.

"Hm. Very successful indeed." Zevran grinned smugly as he paced behind Isabela's desk, keeping some distance between himself and the Crow. "And what is it you need from me? I find it hard to believe this is a social visit."

"It is only by chance that you and I are in the same city. I am going back to the Free Marches now that my job is done here. But, I ventured to the Crown and Lion for some food last night, and I saw you through the window, with your lovely Warden." Antonio smiled slyly.

"And you didn't think to introduce yourself? Truly, how rude." Zevran's nerves were starting to tingle. "Please, say what you need to say and let us be done. I have pressing business elsewhere."

"Don't be like that, Zev. My allegiance is to the Crows, but I owe you my life as well. As such, I only want to make you aware of certain…rumblings within the Crows."

"Then I guess I should feel fortunate that our paths crossed," Zevran said mockingly. "You understand my…distrust, yes?"

"I do…Listen Zev, I am indebted to you. I would have died if you hadn't…recruited me. So, allow me to give you my word: For this moment only, I mean you no harm, this I swear." Zevran nodded and gestured for him to continue. "Taliesan's death did not sit well, as you could imagine. Did you kill him, single-handedly?" Antonio asked inquisitively.

Zevran furrowed his brows. "What concern is that of yours?"

"Just curious. In reality, it does not matter who made the final cut. Your Warden is as guilty as you are. Both of you were there when he took his last breath." Antonio almost sounded concerned, but Zevran still didn't buy into it.

"Is this some kind of threat? The Grey Warden should not be held responsible for Taliesan's death. I and I alone, killed him," Zevran spat.

"Not a threat. A warning. They _will_ come after you, Zev. You are much easier to track running around with these do-gooders trying to save the world from evil."

"And of course you are bound to tell them you saw me here, in Amaranthine?" Zevran folded his arms across his chest waiting for the inevitable.

"I will not lead them to you; neither will I die as a result of knowing you. I only tell you this because you saved me once. If we should ever meet again, I as an assassin working for the Crows and you as man aiding the Grey Wardens, my oath to the Crows will take precedence."

Zevran relaxed his muscles, not wanting to appear concerned. "As it should be. Still, nothing you have said is news to me, my friend. Surely you know this." Zevran casually ruffled some papers on the desktop.

"I suppose. But I am not finished. Your Warden, Elissa is it? She is quite beautiful. You are a very fortunate man, indeed."

Zevran's blood curdled as he spoke of Elissa. "My patience is wearing, Antonio. Do not speak of the Warden. Just tell me what you think I need to know."

"Now, now. Can't a man admire a woman's loveliness? I never thought you the type to settle down, Zev. You've gone…soft," Antonio said girlishly.

"Not so soft that I do not recognize when I'm being made fun of…or are you jealous? It is not easy to keep a woman when you are a Crow. Have you no one special warming your bed?"

"Alas, I have had little luck finding the right woman. But, such is the forfeit life of a Crow. At any rate, my bed is quite warm most nights." Antonio turned somber, walked closer to Zevran and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing tightly. Zevran jerked the hand off but held his position. "Zev, be careful. If the Crows get their hands on your woman, I assure you, she will suffer greatly. I think they hate her more than they hate you, and that, is saying a lot. I advise you to find somewhere out of their reach, to finish out your life in peace. I have heard rumors of some of my associates within the Royal Palace in Denerim, and the soon-to-be Queen has already consorted with the Crows."

"You risk much telling me this, and I am appreciative. But again, you have not told me anything I do not already know. So, if you are finished..." Zevran was uneasy with this information. It seemed that Elissa was right to worry about Anora. And Crow contracts are never void until the job is done. The carefree fantasy life he was used to living was coming to an abrupt end. In the past, Zevran would not have given this news a second thought. But now, he had something to fight for, to live for; their future. And he would not let anyone take that from him.

"One more thing, Zev. Ask your Warden who else might have a dispute with her. I heard no names, but I understood that there are others, possibly powerful people, that are looking to get a piece of her hide."

Zevran wanted to leave, needed to leave. He reached out to shake Antonio's hand. "Good fortune, Antonio. Until next time..." Zevran gave him a slight smile, laced with threat.

Antonio gripped Zevran's hand tightly, finding it hard to let go. When he finally did, he spoke softly, as he did when Zevran first found him. "Take care, Zev. I hope our paths never cross again…"

Zevran nodded to the Crow. "Yes."

Antonio quickly escaped the captain's quarters as Zevran turned around, but Antonio was already gone from sight. Isabela came into the room and eyed him. "Nice visit, Zev?"

"Very enlightening, my dear. Is there anything else I should know, Isabela? I know you have a fondness for secrets…"

"I think Antonio told you what you needed to know," Isabel said wringing her hands.

"Maybe," he said skeptically. "Time will tell."

"I shall keep my ears open, love. Just for you. Give my regards to your luscious Warden, won't you?" She cupped his cheek softly.

"Thank you, Isabela. We shall see each other again, no doubt." Zevran kissed Isabela's hand and departed for the Crown and Lion.

As he neared the inn, he could make out two figures in the crowd he knew to be Anders and Nathaniel. They were surrounded by guards and some local folk cheering, but Elissa was nowhere to be seen.

Zevran quickly ran over to Anders. "Anders…What is all this excitement?"

"Zev, they're treating us like heroes. Can you believe it? We took care of the last of the smugglers this morning. And the ladies…"

Anders and Nathaniel were surrounded by a bevy of young beauties all clamoring for their attention. Nathaniel's displeasure with the spectacle was evident in his scowl. Zevran eyes darted through the mob and he caught a brief glimpse of black hair and emerald eyes staring at Nathaniel. The vision was gone as quick as it had appeared, and Zevran turned to the Howe. Nathaniel met Zevran's gaze briefly and then vanished into the crowd as well.

Zevran's skin crawled for a moment, but pushed his thoughts back deciding to deal with them later. "Anders, where is Elissa?"

"She's resting in her room. Don't worry; it was only a nick…" Before Anders could finish, Zevran flung open the door to the inn and ran up the stairs.

When he got to their door, he composed himself and peeked in quietly. He saw Elissa lying on the bed, asleep. She was so peaceful and silent in her repose, he thought she looked…dead. A moment of dread grabbed his heart and he ran to her side, shaking her awake.

"Hey! What the…Zevran! What are doing!" she shouted. All she could do was stare at him wide-eyed and alarmed by the rude awakening.

He jumped backwards, straightened himself out and smiled. "So sorry, my dove. I thought I saw a rather large rodent run across the bed. I was only protecting you from the beast."

"Riiiight. _That_ is a load of rubbish, Zevran. Why did you wake me so? Is something wrong?"

"No, no…I…spoke to Anders a short while ago and he said…"

"Bloody Anders. I'm fine, Zevran. Barely a scratch." She reached out to him and tugged him closer. Elissa licked the tip of his ear and whispered to him. "I am, however, very flattered by your concern."

Zevran pulled away, feeling an anger rise in him. "I do remember asking you to stay out of trouble while I was gone and you chose to ignore me. Why is that, Elissa?"

"Don't be angry with me. It wasn't my fault really. We only ventured out to barter with some merchants, but some of the smugglers were waiting to ambush us and we chased them around town. After we dispatched them, we went to the Smuggler's Cove and finished off their leader. We received a substantial reward from Aidan." She smiled coyly, licking her lips for effect. "Still mad?"

Zevran shook his head. "You are a very impertinent woman. No, I am not mad." Zevran stood up beside the bed and took a deep breath. "However, I have some news." He thought about what Antonio had said, and knew he had to tell her everything. Before he could form thoughts into words, she spoke.

"Good. But first, I have something you might like." Elissa looked down at Zevran's feet. "I see the boots I gave you in Haven are almost beyond repair." She reached around to the other side of the bed and pulled out a fine pair of Antivan leather boots. "I snatched these from the smuggler leader."

Forgetting the matter at hand for a moment, he took hold of the boots and his eyes twinkled like a child's. "These are of a better quality than the old ones." He inhaled the musty scent of the leather. "Practically new, as well. Thank you, mi amor." He yanked off the old boots and stomped his feet into the new ones. "Marvelous, yes?"

Admiring the boyish grin he wore, Elissa's heart swelled with gratification. "I had almost forgotten how sweet you look when you receive gifts. I shall have to give you presents more often."

"_You_ are the greatest gift, mi amor." Zevran sat next to her and ran his hand through her now-flowing hair, his fingers curling the stray strands that crossed her cheeks. The reality of the impending dangers caused him to sigh heavily.

Elissa saw his uneasiness. There was something…different about him. "What's wrong, Zevran? I can tell something happened this morning. Did you speak to Isabela?"

Zevran told her _almost_ everything. "And that is my tale." Elissa wore a disillusioned expression on her face. "You are discontented with my handling of Antonio when I found him as a young man?"

"No, not really. I guess it was for the best. It's just hard for me to imagine...that kind of life." Taking his hand in hers, she almost began to cry. "I know I sound naive, but I just…you know it kills me to think of how your youth was taken from you, but if you did not become a Crow, we never would have met, and for that, I am very grateful. I always said you had a good heart, Zevran, even if you didn't know it then."

"Maybe so…I was…different then. But everything changed when you spared me." The morning's events caused Zevran to feel very tense. It was all he could manage to not let the rage seep out his pores. He felt his past calling to him, urging the assassin to strike at the enemies closing in. "Still, my history affects every choice I make."

"As it does for all of us, lover." She kissed his fingers lovingly and looked to him for guidance, biting her lower lip nervously. "So what do we do now? You're not thinking of leaving…by yourself, I mean."

"No, my love. I gave you my word. As much as I hate to put you in jeopardy, we will see this through together. But, I think we should keep moving. No need to be a sitting duck, as you Fereldens say." Zevran did his best to keep his demeanor neutral.

Elissa was relieved he would not take matters into his own hands. "I agree. We'll be done in Amaranthine after tomorrow morning when we meet with the Dark Wolf. Then we can go back to the Keep and plan our next move."

Zevran nodded in agreement. "Antonio also mentioned someone, possibly in power, who has an interest in you. Can you think of any such person?" The look on Nathaniel's face had disturbed Zevran. The benefit of the doubt was not something that came easily to him, yet he couldn't figure out a connection between Nathaniel and the Crows. "Someone who thinks you have wronged them?"

She laughed out loud. "You're joking, right? I made plenty of enemies during the blight. Other than the Banns were are investigating, no one in particular jumps out at me. I will have to think on this."

"You can do that…later. Right now, I have something else in mind." Zevran leapt over her and planted himself at her side. "Are you healed enough for an afternoon delight?" he asked trailing his fingers past her stomach.

"That depends, lover. What did you have in mind?" Without thinking, Elissa hips rose in anticipation.

Zevran moved himself farther down the bed. He parted her legs, kissing her inner thighs tenderly. "I would like to give _you_ a present. Close your eyes, mi amor, and I will give you a gift you will not soon forget."

For now, he would try to enjoy the peace and privacy they shared. He wanted to hear her to cry out his name, to hear her weep with pleasure. He wanted to claim her, body and soul.

The Crow in him had awakened, and it was not likely to fall asleep anytime soon.


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: **__I'm blowing past most of the Awakening quests to get to where I want the storyline to be. Sorry if you're disappointed, but we've all played the game, right? I apologize in advance to any Nathaniel lovers, too. Thanks to all who alert/review/fav and read this story. I truly appreciate it..._

**Chapter 18**

And so began the countless miles of unremitting battles and bloodshed. Bann Esmerelle, who wanted Elissa dead, was now herself dead thanks to the Dark Wolf's information. Their crusade to stop the darkspawn incursion landed Elissa's party in black marshes, deserted outposts, ancient Dwarven ruins, and areas of forested slopes and greenery. They were sent to the Fade and back, battled demons and darkspawn, brood mothers and their offspring, and numerous other creatures, all for the sake of Ferelden. Along the way, new Wardens were acquired; Velanna, a curious, Dalish mage, Sigrun, a dwarf belonging to the Legion of the Dead, and Justice, a spirit trapped in a human's dead body. Elissa had even brokered a deal with a darkspawn emissary, the Architect. Highly intelligent, it was the first darkspawn to develop a will of its own. The Architect vowed to serve as an ally to the Grey Wardens against the Mother when the time came.

Three months of travel and fighting had come and gone. Trips to the Vigil's Keep were few and far between, but during their last trip to the Keep, Oghren, Velanna, Justice and Sigrun stayed to guard it from the darkspawn invasion. In between the skirmishes, they found respite in camp. Elissa, Zevran, Nathaniel, and Anders were spending what would be one of their last night's all together before the final conflicts began.

During those months, Zevran had become suspicious of everyone they encountered, and was constantly looking over his shoulder, waiting for an ambush. He slept little, keeping a close eye on the main target of his suspicion, Nathaniel Howe. He wanted to strike out on his own and find the exact meaning of Antonio's words, but he had given Elissa his word to stay with her to the end. He wished the Crows to come so he could finally finish what he had started. He ached to tell her everything, but he couldn't distract her from her duty. His words came back to haunt him. _Complete and utter honesty, even if it is something neither of us want to speak of or hear. _That's what he wanted from Elissa, and now he found he could not reciprocate.

Zevran sat on a log by the fire, polishing his blades and cleaning his leathers, while Nathaniel and Anders ate dinner. Elissa paced over to Zevran and sat down next to him. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all, Elissa. Sit." Zevran gestured his arm towards the log.

"I'd like to talk for a minute. You have been so quiet tonight. Is there anything I can do?" Elissa tilted her head sideways, trying to get him to look at her.

He continued to shine his weapons. "No. Does my silence offend you?" he asked, not really concerned if she was offended or not.

"No, it's just…not like you to be so introspective. No witty jokes, sexual innuendos and the like. I miss that, Zevran. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing. I am thinking of…nothing." he said evasively.

Elissa put her hand on his thigh and caressed him tenderly before capturing his hand in hers. "I love you, you know that right?" She smiled for him as his eyes caught her loving gaze.

"Yes. I know I have not been myself. When we are finished with this business…" Zevran trailed off, not finishing his thought.

"Yes? When we're finished then what? We've fought so hard for this, Zevran. For us…Maybe we could go to Antiva. You can show me all the beautiful places you've spoken of. We could dance in the moonlight and linger under the sun during the day. I would like a warm climate I think…"

He interrupted her firmly. "No, not Antiva. Not yet, anyway." He shook his head and stared at the flames.

"Because the Crows would be waiting? Is this what is troubling you? Are they coming for you? Tell me. Please, I need to know, Zevran. You asked for honesty, but you won't tell _me_ the truth."

"I don't know. Why don't you ask your friend Howe. He pretends as if he knows everything."

"Nathaniel? What would he know of the Crows?"

Zevran rose up from his seat on the log. "I am tired." He looked down at her, taking in her beauty as the firelight danced on her flaxen hair. "Good night, my Grey Warden."

Confounded, she watched as he walked to their tent, wishing he would have taken her by the hand and led her away. The changes in Zevran's behavior were very distressing. It was a slow change, a hair's breadth of change every day. He withdrew from the others in the party. He was always staring at something or someone, eyes far away, deep in thought. The sweet, midnight talks they shared were replaced with talk of combat and vengeance. In fights, he was vicious, sometimes cruel. In love, he was rough and swift. Whispers of sweet nothings slowly vanished; my dove replaced with Elissa, mi amor replaced with Warden. She understood he wanted to shield her, to keep her from worry. But she felt alienated and lonesome. Their reverent and passionate relationship was slowly disintegrating into nothing but sex and strategy.

Elissa found herself talking with Nathaniel more and more, as Zevran grew increasingly silent. Nathaniel became her close friend, her source of humor and support, often talking late into the night by the campfire. He was tender and caring, blanketing her when she was cold, giving tactical advice when she was uncertain, and drying her tears while the others slept.

Zevran and Nathaniel's mutual hatred didn't sit well with Elissa either. After Zevran left her alone, she went to Nathaniel to forget. "Evening, Nathaniel. Beautiful night isn't it?" Elissa gazed up at the sky wistfully. "Stars…so far away and yet so breathtaking."

_As are you_, he thought. Certainly, it was a perfect moment for a kiss. He combed his fingers through her loose hair. "You're looking quite beautiful…and meditative tonight, Liss. Are you alright? I noticed Zev left you alone…again." He moved a step closer.

Elissa was comforted by his nearness and disregarded his hand on her shoulder. "Yes, he is in a mood. I don't know what to do anymore. He won't open up to me," she sighed miserably. Then she realized what she had said. "Oh, I'm sorry. You don't need to hear this. I know you don't like him and…"

"No, that's okay, Liss. If you want to talk, I'll listen. And I will be fair, I promise." He gently pulled her hand down to sit beside him.

"Have you ever met an assassin…well, of course you must have. I meant an Antivan Crow. Have you ever met one?" she asked curiously.

Nathaniel brows drew close. "Why do you ask?"

"I thought maybe you could offer some insight…some sort of explanation...I don't know." Elissa purposely slid closer to him, hips touching. "I'm grasping at straws, I realize. I assume you heard about…You know he met a Crow before we left Amaranthine, right?"

"Anders mentioned something about it, but honestly, I didn't give it much thought." Nathaniel took the opportunity to put his arm around her shoulder, sensing her turmoil.

Elissa rested her head on his chest, finding the steady beating of his heart soothing. "This Crow, Tony, told Zevran, he…we are in danger. That is why he is so reluctant to talk to me."

He drew his head back and looked at her, his face distressed. "Danger, Liss? The Crows are pursuing you, as well?"

"I don't know exactly…Zevran won't say. But, I think they want us both dead." She put her arm around his waist.

Nathaniel was beginning to let his anger show. He held her closer. "Damn him, Liss. You should not have to pay for his past sins. I wish…"

"What? That I would tell him to leave? It's crossed my mind, Nathaniel. But how can I? I…I just can't," she sighed helplessly.

He moved his mouth to speak softly in her ear. "And if associating with him gets you killed? Then what? I could take care of…"

"Take care of him?" Anger crept into her heart but she subdued it and held him tighter. "I appreciate your gallantry, but…no, Nathaniel. I don't even know if we can believe the things that Crow said to him." Still, she trusted her old friend, even though her senses began tingling with doubt.

Nathaniel kept his voice low and calm. "And what else did this Antonio say? Hm? Why would he even tell Zev to watch out? Crows are not indebted to each other. They care for no one. They have no allegiance..."

She heard it, heard him say the name, the full name she never spoke. His mouth was moving, but she didn't hear the words falling from his lips. _Betrayal…a traitor. Zevran was right,_ she thought. Goosebumps formed on her skin and her breathing ceased for a moment. "I don't know…I…I'm so tired, Nathaniel. Maybe it is best if I got some rest now." All her energy was now being spent on control; control of her tone, her fear, her rage, her overwhelming disillusionment. She pulled away from his embrace and forced a sweet smile. "Thank you for listening to my ramblings. You have been a…good friend." She swallowed thickly as she squeezed his hand, maybe a little too tightly.

Nathaniel noticed the change in her demeanor and thought it was a result of fatigue and confusion about her feelings towards him. Disappointedly he said, "Anytime, Liss." He palmed her cheek and placed a faithful kiss on her lips. "I will always be here for you, my sweet Liss."

Elissa released his hand and stood up. "Yes, I know. Goodnight, Nathaniel." She turned towards her tent, thoughts whizzing around her brain. Slowly and steadily she walked, trying to suppress the urge to run. She wiped the kiss from her lips angrily. _What does he know, how does he know his name? Why would he betray me? Could I be wrong? No, I never said his full name to anyone._ There were so many questions and no answers she could figure.

Elissa approached the tent and glanced back at Nathaniel, who was watching her, admiring her. She offered him a smile and a wave and then pulled back the tent flap. She had to be careful and calm. No accusations were to be spoken for fear Zevran would confront Nathaniel and do something extreme. As she entered, she saw Zevran had settled on his bedroll and was still awake.

With the fire glow behind the tent, she could make out his face, eyes staring straight up as he lay on his back, hands under his head. She ignored the bellowing thoughts in her head. "I thought you might be asleep by now. Were you waiting to ravish me, lover?" She asked seductively. She wanted the mood to be light but knew that would be a challenge.

Zevran's eyes travelled to her for a moment and he gave her a halfhearted smirk. "Is that what you think? That I have been waiting for you, to touch you after you have run your hands all over that traitor."

"That's unfair, Zevran. There was a reason for my actions. And, I know what you're doing. It won't work," she said compellingly.

"Oh? And what am I doing, Elissa?" he asked flatly.

"Zevran, look at me, please." He turned his head to the side and looked at Elissa without expression. "Why are you shutting me out? Tell me what's bothering you. If it's something I can fix, I will." He did not answer. "Do you want to…leave?"

He didn't answer for what seemed an eternity. "No."

"Then what? You're so different, so withdrawn. I'm very worried. Please, let me help," she begged, while reaching to stroke his forearm.

He waved her off. "Do not worry about me. It will pass."

"What do you mean it will pass? It's been three months and you're only getting farther away from me!" She reined in her emotion and spoke evenly. "Zevran, I love you. Please..."

"What do you want from me, Elissa? I'm helping you as much as I can," he stated coolly.

"This is not about helping the Wardens and you know it. It's about us." Elissa ran her fingers across his cheek, outlining his tattoo. "Zevran, I need you to help me, to guide me, to sort out something..." The tears were welling up in her eyes as he stared at her, emotionless. "Is it the Crows? Tell me what I can do…"

Zevran sat up, looking at her broodingly. He seemed at a loss for words, but then suddenly grabbed her by the hair and slammed her lips into his, kissing her feverishly. "Is this what you want?" he growled.

She pushed him away, shaking her head irritably. "No! What I want is for you to talk to me!" He grabbed her wrists moving faster than she could react, straddled her, and pinned her to the floor of the tent. She froze in shock as he hovered over her, his eyes on fire. "Zevran, no, please, not like this!"

As she writhed beneath him, struggling to free her hands, he sunk his mouth into her neck, drawing in her skin in powerfully. "I know what you want, Elissa. Say it…tell me…You want me, don't you?" he hissed in her ear.

"Get off me, Zevran!" He continued to hold her down with what felt like the strength of five men. His mouth attacked every part of her face, her neck, her chest. His knee slammed between her legs, forcing them open and she gasped. They were not strangers to rough sex, but this was different. This was not role play. "Please, Zevran...you're…not like this!" She tried to bite him, but his movements were too frenzied. Her body was weakening, as she strained to get free. Her arms and legs were beginning to fail from fatigue, and still, he assaulted her.

He was groaning, making sounds she had never heard before, sounds of demons pouring from his soul. "You are mine, never forget that…" His voice was deep and harsh as the weight of his body held her down.

"No…please, stop…I can help you," she whispered her voice cracking. "You will regret this, Zevran. Look at me…listen, please…don't. Trust in me…I know what you are…this is not you." She opened her mouth to say more, but silence was all she could offer; no sounds, not even a whimper. Her face prayed for release, prayed for him to stop before he did the unforgivable. The tears fell past her ears, wetting her tangled hair. She thought it would only be seconds before he took her.

His eyes found her, and he became motionless, stunned into immobility. She felt a tremble, an acknowledgment of what he had done, what he was _trying_ to do. Suddenly, his eyes cleared, and opened wide as if he were struck by an arrow.

He pulled away, sweat from his brow dripping onto her face. Breathing deeply, he quickly rolled off and moved back to his bedroll, avoiding her grief-stricken eyes. He sat with his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

"Why…why, Zevran. I…you could have…why would you do this?" she asked in disbelief.

Steeling herself, Elissa sat up and waited for a response that never came. Her fingers carefully took his chin and turned his head to face her, a flicker of dishonor and sorrow exposed. The sting of her hand across his face didn't cause a wince or a quiver. Nothing. She slapped him again, crying out his name, "Zevran!" in an attempt to wake him from the trance. He stared at her, shamed and speechless.

She began to cry softly . She spoke words of mercy. She was unafraid. "Those were not the actions of the man I know, the man I love. I forgive you, Zevran…Say something, please..." She could barely speak above a whisper.

He opened his mouth but the words were caught in his throat. "I…am sorry, Elissa."

"I am begging you, Zevran. Please, talk to me. I can't go on like this anymore. I forgive your actions, but please tell me what's in your head, in your heart." She brushed a stray hair from his eye and put her hand on the back of his neck. He looked like a runaway boy, misplaced and far from home. Warm, amber eyes pleaded for forgiveness but he said nothing. Gingerly, she pulled him closer and wrapped her arms around his waist to comfort the child inside the man. "I am here for you, and we can get past this."

His head dropped to her shoulder and she felt his muscles deflate. He reached his arms around her gripping her tightly, breaths ragged in her ear. She whispered to him. "Please, Zevran. Let me see what is keeping you from me."

"Perdóneme, please, forgive me," he wept. "I thought…"

She pulled back and cupped his face in her hands. "I know what you thought. For once, you were wrong. Just come back to me, my love." Leaning in, she wiped a tear away with her thumb and pressed her lips to his. "Without you, I am but half a person. You complete me, Zevran. Never doubt this."

He shook his head, feeling insecure. How could she be so good, so forgiving of a man such as he? "Never. Never again, mi amor. I am sorry, more than I can say. I…please, I don't know…How can you forgive me?" he asked in all honesty, eyes pained with remorse.

"I can and I do. It's that simple." She saw him; the Zevran she loved had emerged from behind the barrier. The Zevran only she was allowed to see, the Zevran she saw once before in the Fade, enduring Crow torture. Of course she would forgive him. She loved him, more than life, more than duty, more than anything or anyone she had ever known. A smile began to sneak from her lips, a smile unseen for many weeks.

His chin fell to his chest as he placed her hand over his heart, kissing her knuckles lightly. "I find myself at the mercy of your benevolence, yet again."

She placed the hand that clutched hers on her cheek. "My dear lover, all I ask is that you stay with me, in mind and heart until you no longer feel for me. Do not retreat, do not shut me out. I cannot do without you."

Zevran's fingers snaked up both sides of her neck into her flowing hair. "I will always adore you. I am yours, for all time. I apologize, again...and again." The kisses were sweet and loving, and his breath on her skin melted away what little anger she had left and turned it into bliss. He had come back to her.

She was beaming now, full of desire, full of adoration. "Why must everything be so complicated…Zevran Arainai, you are maddening…" she breathed out. "And, I love you."

"And, thankful I am, that you have not cast me aside, mi amor." On his face, a blend of joy and repent looked to her. "How shall I make amends? What can I do to prove my worth?" Elissa admired his chiseled features, his handsome profile, his mischievous grin, the grin she had missed for so long.

She hugged him with all her strength, burying her head in his herbal scented hair. "Just love me, Zevran." Passionately, their tongues entwined and their hands roamed. Before a true reunion could take place, she had to tell him of her suspicions.

Elissa pushed him back gently. "Zevran, there is something I need to tell you." He sat back puzzled as she took a deep breath and continued. "I spoke with Nathaniel and tried to get him to say something… something incriminating…I think you are right."

Every muscle in Zevran's body tensed. "Right? What did he say?"

"I tricked him, I guess. I mentioned Antonio, but I used the name Tony instead. Later, Nathaniel asked me what this Antonio had said to you. He must know him, Zevran. I don't know how or why, but he must."

"Brasca…I knew it. You are positive? You heard this all clearly?" he asked, needing to be absolutely sure.

"Yes. I was shocked…I am shocked. I can't believe he wants any harm to come to me, but you…yes. Absolutely. What do you propose we do?"

"I think we need to speak with our fellow rogue, my dear. Anders is on watch, yes? We need to get into Nathaniel's tent, sedate him and take him out of earshot." Zevran's eyes peeled around the tent. "Now, where is that rope…ah, here is the sleeping powder." Zevran noticed Elissa's tentative posture. "Can you do this, my love? I will go alone, if you prefer."

"No. _We_ will do it, together." She sat up straight, firmly resolved to the task at hand, and relieved that her assassin was doing what he did best. "I love you, Zevran. If he wants your blood, then he shall get mine, too. This is how it must be…Maker help us."


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N: **__Thanks to all who alert/review/fav and read this story. I really appreciate it...really. I'm trying to get closer to the end before school gets out...not easy._

**Chapter 19**

As the glow from the torch warmed their cheeks, Elissa and Zevran sat on a large tree stump waiting for Nathaniel to rouse. Undetected by Anders, they had taken Nathaniel to a densely forested area, about a half mile from camp. Carrying Nathaniel's limp body proved more difficult than she had imagined, and Elissa just wanted to be asleep. Zevran, on the other hand, was humming with energy. He had effortlessly attached Nathaniel to a tree, binding his wrists, ankles and knees in complex knots. His adrenaline was still pulsing and he could barely sit still.

"Stop tapping your foot, Zevran. You're making me a nervous wreck. How long does this sleeping powder last? Maker, it's been an over an hour already," Elissa whined childishly.

"Tsk, tsk. Patience, my dear. It is a desirable quality, yes?"

She smirked at him, tilting her head to one side. "It's a quality I now lack, thanks to the Blight."

"Oh, mi amor. Do not sell yourself short. You are quite patient. How long did you await my companionship in your tent?" he asked with an eyebrow wiggle.

"That wasn't patience, lover. That was fear," she said flippantly.

"Ah ha! So you admit you feared me in the beginning! It is as I thought. I _am_ the most excellent assassin in all of Thedas!"

"Ha! Don't flatter yourself. There was one mark you neglected to kill...actually two, but we don't have to count Alistair." She gave him a reassuring grin.

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "Yes, and every day I am thankful for that failure." As he ran his tongue down her ear, he let his hand slip to her inner thigh. "Hmmm. An audience…very…titillating, no?" His hand left her thigh, gliding up across her chest and his lips met hers in a deep kiss. She returned his advance in kind, swept away by his seductive powers.

As her hand began to roam past his hips, they were interrupted by Nathaniel's shifting on the ground. "Mmmm, Zevran…stop." She pulled back and glanced down at Nathaniel who was starting to mumble incoherencies. "It's wearing off…" Elissa sighed apprehensively.

"Do not worry, my dove. After all, interrogation is my strong suit," he stated with a cocky smile.

"Yes, I know, and that concerns me. Go easy, at least until we know what we are dealing with," she instructed.

"As you wish, Commander," he said glibly.

Overcome with apprehension, Elissa bent over at the waist and retched. "Ugh, that felt...awful."

"This is making you ill?" Zevran asked with a slight chuckle.

She sneered at his reaction. "Watch it, Arainai. I'm just…I'm not sure. I hope we don't regret this."

"Never fear. We _must_ do this." He gave her arm a tender squeeze and leapt from the stump refocusing on his victim. "Nate, are you with us?"

Nathaniel didn't hear the words clearly. All he understood was that he was tied up for unknown reasons, and the assassin's face was an inch from his own. "What…I…what is this…about?"

Zevran put a dagger to Nathaniel's throat, not breaking the skin. "Why don't you tell me, hm?"

Nathaniel shook his head to clear the fog drifting through his brain. "Why am I being restrained?" He struggled to free the wrists tied behind his back, slowly realizing he was bound about the waist, coupling him to a tree. His legs were expertly roped together and he had no leverage at all.

"Now, now. Be calm." Zevran pressed the tip of his blade into Nathaniel's neck, still not drawing blood, but paining Nathaniel nevertheless. Only then, did Nathaniel cease movement. "Surely, your question is in jest, for I know you are not ignorant. Tell me, Nathaniel Howe, if I were to describe a man with very distinct features, would you know of whom I speak?"

The Howe's eyes glowed with hatred. "I don't know what your game is, Zev…does Elissa know you are doing this?"

"I do," Elissa stated quietly. She hovered over Zevran's shoulder. "I'm…" Zevran threw up a backhand to silence her.

Nathaniel gaped at her in disbelief. "Liss, why are you letting him do this? I thought…"

"You thought wrong, Howe. Now, back to my original question. What is your relationship with a dark and handsome, green-eyed Crow?" Zevran dangled a vial of bright red poison in front of his face. "The truth only, please, or I will be compelled to use very unpleasant tactics."

"There must be some misunderstanding. I do not associate with Antivan Crows." His eyes were on Elissa, searching for help she could not offer.

"Tsk, tsk. You did hear me, did you not?" Zevran uncorked the vial and placed the bottle under Nathaniel's nose. "You are an experienced rogue. Surely you must recognize the scent."

"Yes…" Grimacing, Nathaniel turned his head away carefully. "Fleshrot," he whispered.

"Correct. It decomposes the skin while the victim continues to breathe life." Zevran's sinister grin gave Nathaniel pause. "Now, what did you discuss with Antonio?"

"I…we…are not associates, in any way, if that's what you think. He approached me, outside the Crown and Lion. I told him nothing." Elissa could see a hint of fear in his eyes, and it did not it disappear when Nathaniel's gaze met hers again. In the past, he had been sure Elissa would never let Zevran injure him, but seeing her defiance at that moment, he doubted his earlier belief.

Peering over Zevran's shoulder, Elissa felt queasy but appeared confident. In her time with the former Crow, she had seen him viciously interrogate many victims, none of whom she knew personally. Zevran was deadly, and she respected his skills immensely, but tormenting Nathaniel was not something she would take pleasure in.

Zevran was almost giddy with delight as he pressed her old friend for answers. "Nothing, is it?" Zevran held out a torn piece of leather for Nathaniel to see. "One drop on this animal skin and it will slowly disintegrate." Zevran tipped the vial and allowed a small bead of poison to fall onto the scrap of hide. Immediately, it began to crackle and billow a cloud of putrid vapors. A breeze delivered the rotten odor directly to Nathaniel's nose.

Again, he looked to Elissa, ignoring Zevran's piercing eyes. "Liss, you have to believe me, I have done nothing…said nothing to put you in danger."

"Focus, Nate. It is I you need to convince." Zevran glanced over his shoulder to Elissa. "My love, maybe you should take a few steps away from our proximity. It seems our man here is distracted by you presence."

Elissa backed up, moving away from Nathaniel's line of sight. She was trying to keep her distance to give Zevran free rein, but she felt guilt tugging at her, urging her to believe Nathaniel was innocent.

Nathaniel began to struggle again, feverishly trying to loosen the restraints, but to no avail. Zevran simply shook his head and smiled wickedly. "Do not waste your energy." Zevran pushed the dagger point into his neck, causing a trickle of blood to run down Nathaniel's collar. "This will be your last opportunity to tell me every word that transpired between you and Antonio. I suggest you make it worth my while." Again, he held the vial near Nathaniel's face, rolling it between his thumb and middle finder.

"Alright, alright. I will tell you what I can. Just get that poison away from my face," he hissed at Zevran.

Zevran corked the vial and placed it on the ground at his side. He folded his arms over his chest and exhaled. "Very well, then. Proceed." Elissa held her position, close enough to hear, but far enough to avoid Nathaniel's glower.

"As I said, Antonio approached me. He had seen both of you dining that night and cornered me in the morning. He knew who you were. I assumed you worked together in Antiva."

Zevran nodded. "Go on."

"He asked what business I had with you. I told him I was a Grey Warden working for the Commander and that I had nothing to do with you, except for our mutual allegiance to Elissa and her mission."

"Why exactly did you feel compelled to answer questions for him?" Zevran inquired.

"Because I knew he would slit my throat if I did not. He made that abundantly clear. He also threatened to…harm Elissa."

That information did not sit well with Zevran. Crows always threatened to kill those closest to their prey, and usually they meant to do the deed regardless of how the conversation ended. "What else did he say?"

"Initially, he offered me a great deal of coin to turn you both over to him. An _extremely_ large sum of money, in fact. I declined the offer."

"Oh? Much thanks." Zevran face remained stern and he was not impressed. "What else?"

"After my refusal, he threatened me with torture and the like…for protecting you both, but I wasn't very concerned. He seemed…unsure. He said it was pure coincidence that he was travelling through Amaranthine. It was not his job to find you, but since he had, accidentally, the lure of the fame attached to such a capture was too much to ignore."

"I am sure that is true. If he had managed to bring us to Antiva, dead or alive, he would have been very popular, indeed."

"Then why did he meet with you and not kill you?" Nathaniel asked pointedly.

Zevran scoffed at the question. "Long story, that. And you are not in a position to ask questions of me." Zevran intensified his tone. "So the exchange of glances in front of the inn was what? A silent agreement, perhaps?"

"No, it was just that. An exchange of glances. As I have said, I told him nothing." Nathaniel turned his head towards Elissa general direction. "Elissa, I swear on my sister's life, I would never put you in harm's way." He turned back to Zevran and delivered him an accusatory stare.

Zevran wanted to slap the expression from Nathaniel's face, but he remained composed, only lowering his head closer to Nathaniel's. "You think I would ever put her in danger intentionally? I would be careful with your finger pointing, my friend."

Elissa saw the tension increasing between the two men. She felt she had to intervene, no matter how much it would anger Zevran. The shuffle of her footsteps through the leaves caused Zevran to straighten, and she appeared behind him again. "Nathaniel, why didn't you tell me about this? Didn't you think I had a right to know?"

"Antonio said he was going to find Zev. I thought it best to keep you out of that situation, for your own safety. Afterwards, since no fighting took place, I decided to wait. Actually, I was going to confront Zev before I spoke with you, but we were busy with our mission...time passed. I did not think there was anything to worry about," he stated.

Elissa shook her head and let out a long sigh. "They could be tracking us, Nathaniel. Did he mention any other names? Any locations? Anything?" she asked anxiously.

"He only spoke of the Master he worked for, Ponifico, I think? Yes. Other than that, I think he was just trying to see what I knew, out of curiosity. It _was_ very strange. I actually expected him to kill me there and then, on principal."

"Yes, well I guess he was feeling charitable. You could have warned Zevran, you know. What if he had walked into an ambush, Nathaniel?" she asked angrily.

Zevran spoke before Nathaniel could open his mouth. "My dear, ponder this. Nate was hopeful for an ambush. I would possibly be killed, and he would be there for you….to help you through your mourning and heartache. Am I correct?"

"No, that is not what I had hoped for. I would never want her to be in anguish. But I did not really believe Antonio meant to hurt you. He seemed to….like you, oddly enough." Nathaniel had a quizzical look on his face.

Elissa turned to Zevran, not sure what to make of the exchange. "What are your thoughts? Could it be true? That he just wanted information about you? Do you think Antonio only meant…?"

"Enough, now!" Zevran snapped. He forcefully grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of Nathaniel's hearing range. "Mi amor, try to control your tongue. No need to give him extra information."

"Right. I just don't see how Nathaniel did anything wrong. He only wanted to protect me."

"Yes, protect you and have me killed. I cannot blame him for his want of you. However, I think there is more to this story."

"More? What else could there be?" she asked in a huff of frustration.

"I think it highly possible that he is a…double agent, as it were." Elissa was stunned by his accusation, and it showed in her expression. "You disagree, my dear?"

"You think he's a…spy? That seems preposterous. No, I can't believe that!"

"Really? Where have your senses gone, Elissa? Think for a moment…he was in the Free Marches for many years, as was Antonio. Their paths could easily have crossed, given the types of people they both consorted with. And, there are some holes in his explanation. I do not believe Antonio was in Amaranthine by chance. I believe he was here for a greater purpose. And, I think Nate decided to make use of his Crow contact, to further his objectives. Those being eliminating me, and acquiring you."

"So you think Antonio was information gathering? But he warned you? I guess he could have felt indebted to you, briefly…but Nathaniel doing this all just for me?"

"My dear, you know as well as I that love can make you do strange things…things that are not always sensible, things that are sometimes perilous."

"You think the Crows are planning an attack on us or a kidnapping or a murderous rampage! And Nathaniel is keeping them apprised of our whereabouts? Maker's breath!" Ellisa stomped in circles, frustrated.

"We both knew this could happen. It makes sense. And Nate would be the perfect mole. He could very easily inform the Crows of an opportunity to attack, when our defenses are down, or when we are travelling without backup."

"You can't just kill him based on your _theory_!" She breathed in a lungful of fresh air. "Okay, let's say you are right. Then what?"

"I agree, we cannot kill him. We will use him, to draw them out, draw them to us. This way we will be prepared."

"So, he will maintain Warden status, continue to aid us against the darkspawn, I continue to be friendly and social, and when we are finished, he goes away or remains a Warden. Or we kill him, or he kills you, or the Crows kill every single one of us!" Elissa took another much needed deep breath. "I don't how long I can continue a charade like that."

Zevran grabbed Elissa by the shoulders. "Do I need to slap you? Pull yourself together, mi amor. You _can_ and you _will_ do this." With that last command, she absorbed Zevran's strength and determination as her own. He had always had that effect on her, always.

"Yes…yes, I will," she nodded in agreement. "And if you're wrong?"

"I am not. But, if a miracle should come to pass, then we go on as before. Nothing will have changed with regards to your duty or Nate or any other threats." Zevran caressed her cheek and left a warm, steadying kiss on her hand.

"Alright, then. We will need to explain our actions to Anders, in the morning." She shook her head reluctantly. "I trust your judgment…for now. We will have to be very convincing or Nathaniel will see through this ruse."

With a self-satisfied smile, Zevran patted her shoulder. "We are nothing if not great actors, my dear. And we will explain what we can to Anders." Zevran's confidence was so tangible that Elissa experienced a rush of relief go through her body.

Zevran felt her release, too. "So, let the Crows come."

"We will mock them while we crush their skulls," they recited in unison, laughing at each other's bravado.

After a lingering kiss, Zevran took her by the hand. "Come, my dove. Let us free the hostage and get some sleep."

"Yes, he's waited too long already." She ran her fingers through his soft hair, drawing more strength from his pulsating energy. "But sleep? We have a couple hours until daybreak. I think I have a better idea…"

"Oh, you devilish minx." With a fleeting glance, Zevran gave her backside a quick slap before tangling his fingers in hers. "I do so love the legendary Grey Warden stamina."

Hand in hand, they walked towards the tree where Nathaniel was captive. As they approached, they noticed the glow from the torch had faded and just barely lit up the site. Elissa's eyes narrowed when she saw the ropes strewn about. Every muscle in Zevran's body became taut as he drew his weapons and spun in a circle, searching for any sign of Nathaniel.

Elissa unsheathed her blades and sprinted to the tree, fighting back panic. "He's gone…" she whispered.

She turned to Zevran with a critical eye and a scowl. "So much for your knot tying skills, assassin."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"Blast it, Zevran!" Elissa abruptly lost her temper and threw her hands in the air.** "**Didn't you search him for hidden blades? How could you be so careless?"

"Careless? I assure you, my skills are not lacking, Elissa." Annoyed by her censure, Zevran rushed over to the rope pile and kneeled down, examining a piece that had bound Nathaniel. "See this?" He held out the edge of the rope, reaffirming his expertise. "These ropes were frozen, not cut. I believe our attractive mage freed Nate."

Elissa snatched the cord from his hand. "Bloody hell! I wanted to speak to Anders before Nathaniel got to him. We will need to use great caution when entering camp. Anders will _not_ be on our side."

"Yes, yes…magic will no doubt be cast upon us," Zevran said casually while brushing the dust from his knees. In the back of this mind, he wondered if her doubts caused her to be so quick with her temper.

"I'm wagering a paralyze spell or the like. As long as it's not that damn Cone of Cold…" Hands on her hips, Elissa stared at the mound of rope, shaking her head in disgust. "Let's get this over with…quickly. Maker, I am sick to my stomach from this mess we've created!" Their eyes met in a brief, unspoken thought.

Elissa and Zevran set out for the camp at a swift pace. As they neared, Zevran's keen ears picked up the voices of the rogue and the mage. "Allow me to enter first, Elissa…just in case."

"No. I'll go first. They won't hurt me, at least not right away. I am the Commander of the Grey, after all. They could be held on charges of treason if they acted rashly."

"Bah, so trusting…here in the middle of nowhere? They could kill us both and tell any manner of story they wish. Do not be so naïve…"

"Enough, Zevran," she interrupted. "I'm in charge here. Do as I say." Her order was meant to sound commanding, but Zevran didn't fall for it and his first response was a devilish leer.

"Mi amor, you are so stern and tenacious, much like the a religious instructor from the Chantry. Perhaps later tonight you can instruct me further?"

"Quit fooling around, Zevran. This is serious. Have you no amount of self-control?" she asked, frustrated with his self-amusing wit.

"None at all." He shrugged his shoulders idly. "Tsk. You ask such foolish questions."

"Move it, before I broaden your horizons, and not in a good way," she scolded.

Zevran stood tall and tipped his head to Elissa. "Why, yes ma'am. So sensitive…"

The campfire had dimmed and the moon had begun to set, but Elissa could still make out the shapes of her fellow Wardens. She and Zevran approached the camp guardedly, but with their usual composure intact. Nathaniel peered around the campsite, sensing her presence. "Nathaniel can feel me approaching." She glanced at Zevran. "You know, the taint and all…Anders doesn't seem to respond to it as readily."

She put her hand to Zevran's chest, stopping him from moving forward. She shook her head back and forth and he understood that she wanted to enter alone. The mage and rogue immediately glared in her direction, and the hairs on the back of Elissa's neck stood up, tension squeezing her shoulders. Using her most authoritative tone, she shouted towards them. "Wardens! I want to come into camp without fear of retaliation! Keep your weapons sheathed! That is an ord…"

All at once, her entire body ceased movement and she could not speak. She failed to remember that Anders' range for spell casting was farther than any mage she had ever encountered. She assumed Zevran was in the same state as herself, and all she could do was watch as the two men approached, both grinning with satisfaction.

"So sorry, Commander, but you and Zev are quite deadly," Anders said calmly. "It is only fair that we take precautions to ensure our safety. The spell will wear off before long."

As Nathaniel approached Elissa, his dark eyes pierced her very soul. His gaze was troubled and disillusioned. "Liss, I mean no harm. I just…do you truly believe I have been disloyal to you? To our cause? To the Wardens and everything we stand for?" His voice grew more thunderous. "I am not my father! You know this!"

Elissa's head swam with guilt, and she silently questioned Zevran's theory. The feeling in her limbs started to return and she was able to shake off the last of the immobilization caused by the spell. Anders and Nathaniel stood ready should things get more intense, both holding their weapons with a firm grip.

Anders stood close to Nathaniel, not sure if he should stay silent or express himself. He chose the latter. "Will you please explain to me why I discovered Nate tied up like a human sacrifice?"

Elissa turned to see that Zevran was still held in the paralyze spell. "Please, Anders, free Zevran," she asked pleasantly.

"Hm. I'm feeling rather hesitant about that. Why don't you explain your actions first. I will let Zev move about the camp...eventually. "

She could not believe his refusal. "You know I can have you racked for this insubordination!" She took a deep breath, realizing that her anger would not help her current situation. "Alright, I will allow this, but only until I have said my piece."

Her eyes focused on Zevran's frozen face and she gave him an apologetic look. Then she began to tell her side of the story. "Nathaniel was not forthcoming with his association with the Crow. In order to protect myself, and my mission, I thought it wise to question him. Knowing he would be disinclined to do this willingly, I…we had to do it covertly. You got to Nathaniel just before we were going to let him loose. Do you understand now?" Anders opened his mouth to speak, but decided to nod to her instead. She provided Anders with an appreciative nod back and turned to refocus her attention on Nathaniel.

"For the record, I believe you Nathaniel. I am sorry for handling things the way I did, but it was necessary. I know you are not like your father. If I had thought that, you would not be standing before me a Grey Warden." _Please, you must believe me_, she thought. She also thought _she_ might believe in her own words. "Do you accept my apology?"

Nathaniel's brows furrowed, his mind searching for the truth behind her admission of guilt. He kept his distance from her, folding his arms over his leather breastplate. "Yes, Liss. I accept _your_ apology." He peered at Zevran's frozen form. "The assassin, however, will not be on the receiving end of any forgiveness on my part. I'm sure it was his idea in the first place. But…I offer my own apology to you. I should have told you about Antonio."

Nathaniel unfolded his arms and took a step closer to her, and a softer, more thoughtful look appeared on his face. "I still believe you were not…are not in danger because of that Crow. But I understand why you thought you had to question my actions." He reached out his hand to hers, offering a shake on their settled apologies.

She couldn't help but stare at his hand hanging in the still air, waiting to be satisfied. Rough and calloused from battle, that hand had comforted her more times than she could count. Her eyes rose up to meet his, uncompromising, and she shook his hand reflexively.

"Good. It's settled then." She held on for what seemed several minutes, before snapping her hand back to her side and giving the mage an order. "Anders. Release Zevran."

With a faint orange glow from his staff, Anders lifted the spell. Zevran shook his arms and legs to increase the blood flow through his body.

"Thank you, Anders. I was beginning to feel a bit like an icicle. It is rather nippy, yes?" he asked, rubbing his palms up and down his physique. Elissa turned to Zevran and without a sound, willed him to say he was sorry to Nathaniel.

"Nate, allow me to offer you my most sincere apologies." Zevran lowered his head and placed his fist over his heart. "You must understand, when it comes to the safety of our lovely Commander, I would hold hostage Andraste herself if I deemed it necessary."

Nathaniel refused his hand, and his hatred for the elf leaked from his pores. "Right. You are quite principled, elf. I did not trust you before and I do not trust you now. Nor do I like you, but I will tolerate you for now…for Elissa's sake. You will leave me alone. Speak to me only when necessary, or better yet, let someone else give me your message. What happened earlier will _**never**_ happen again, Arainai. Should you try anything…distasteful, I will cut you down. Never doubt that I am a man of my word."

"Yes, aren't we all?" Zevran scoffed at his threat. "And I thank you for your honesty. Truly, you and I have come a long way, no?" Idle threat or not, Zevran did not fear the man, and yet he was impressed with Nathaniel's arrogance. If anything, it only confirmed _his_ suspicions, but Zevran knew Elissa was growing softer in her way of thinking and that was unacceptable.

Exhausted, Anders broke his silent contemplation. "Now that all the warm and fuzzy talk is over, might I suggest we retire for what few hours are left before sunrise?"

"Yes. That is exactly what we should do." Elissa pushed Zevran forward with two fingers on his spine. "Zevran, I'll join you in a minute."

She spun around and grabbed Nathaniel's wrist to stop him from walking away. "Wait, please. I have one more thing I'd like to say, if you wouldn't mind."

Nathaniel didn't pull away from her grasp. Instead, he placed his other hand on her shoulder, and spoke in a deep, hushed voice. "I don't mind, Liss."

She felt an unwanted flush across her cheeks as she stared beyond his shoulder. "I…um…I just want to…thank you for giving me a chance to explain." Apprehensively, she let her eyes wander to his face. "Were I in your shoes…well, I don't think I would have been so gracious."

"Then it's a good thing my feet are so big." His smile held similar warmth to those before his abduction and that pleased Elissa, and it worried her, too.

"Liss, he is not the man for…" he declared and then quickly withdrew the statement. "Sorry. Ignore my quick tongue. I'm worn-out from being held captive," he said with a displeased sneer. "But, I am glad we settled this and…I think we all need some sleep."

"Yes. We can talk more on the way to the Keep tomorrow, if you like. Um…Goodnight then." Elissa smiled and walked away.

"Night, Liss," he sighed, just loud enough for her to hear, but she did not turn around.

Elissa ambled to the tent, too tired to analyze any more conversation. Zevran was waiting on his bed roll as she threw the flap open. "How _can_ you still be awake? I can't even see straight," she moaned, her eyes red with exhaustion.

"Lucky for you, one need not have good vision to take part in what I have planned, my love."

"Do you think he believes me?" she whispered, ignoring his attempt at seduction.

"If he does not already, I think he will in time. Were I you, I would let him let him think you are beginning to distrust my advice, deceitfully of course. But, do not fall for his charming ways, my dear, or else I might have to kill him on principle." Zevran was not joking about killing Nathaniel, and she knew it. "But enough chit chat." He took her hand and yanked her towards him with only one thing on his mind.

"Zevran, I'm sorry, but as soon as I lie down, I'm going to pass out."

"Then I will make certain you do not lie down, at least not yet. Have you enough energy to show me a little of that stern and strict Elissa? You remember her, yes?"

For all her exhaustion, Elissa managed to summon enough strength to surprise him by straddling his hips and pinning his arms in one fluid motion. "You mean _this_ Elissa, lover?"

Zevran's eyes opened wide, startled by her speedy assault. "Such a quick minx, my dear. Yes, yes, I do mean _this_ Elissa." She lowered her head to meet his lips and gave him the sweetest kiss. "Mmmm, mi amor…so gentle. Too tired for rough play?"

"Yes, but I could be persuaded to play…nice." She smiled as she stroked his cheek and admired his striking features.

A sudden feeling of discontent struck her; a melancholy thought for a normal life passed through her and she felt tears welling up. "I'm sorry you have to deal with all these Warden expeditions and politics. This life, it's so unforgiving and precarious, and I question my abilities... I'm tired of making decisions…sometimes I wish …" she said softly as her tears fell on his chest.

Zevran pushed himself upright and held her head so close she felt his heart beat on her cheek. He wrapped his free arm tightly around her shoulders. "Shhhh. Hush now, mi amor. That fatigue you feel is clouding your thoughts and you can hardly put a sentence together. Forget about your duty for the next few hours. I will help you…" His fingers moved under her chin, forcing their eyes to meet.

She basked in the gentle sympathy his gaze offered as he wiped away stray tears. "Zevran, I love you, you know that? More than I ever thought I would, or could. And I thank you."

"Why are you thanking me? I have done nothing…" Zevran was perplexed, not able to figure what he had done lately to warrant her expression of gratitude.

"But you have done something, many things, in fact. You…you don't judge me. We don't always agree, and yet you hardly criticize me or make me feel small. Instead, you compliment me…all the time!" A giggle left her lips as she thought of their first meeting and how Zevran had flirted with her soon after he awoke, even though he was on the ground, tied up.

"And what is so humorous?" he asked.

"I was just remembering that within minutes of our first meeting, you complimented me, repeatedly. Or maybe you were just trying to save your hide, but I couldn't believe you had the nerve to say those things after you had tried to kill us. _And_ I had bested you and tied you up and still, you were… complimentary." Elissa smiled and stroked his muscular forearm, one of her most favorite parts of his body.

"Another woman might think it false praise, but I know better. You always manage to find some way to flatter me, even when there is much to disapprove of. You can find the tiniest deed worth commending when surrounded by nothing but my failures. That's why I thank you…that is why I love you."

"And you believe me when I say these things because you know you are more than the Hero of Ferelden, more than the Commander of the Grey Wardens. You are an extraordinary woman and those fortunate to fight by your side admire you greatly. You are a woman worth fighting for, worth dying for. I recognized this the day we met. Little did I know what I was getting into when I swore that oath!" he chuckled out loud.

"See? More compliments. By the Maker Zevran, my ego is so huge, it's about to rupture." Elissa embraced him with a bear hug, and laughed softly in his delicately pointed ear. "So, my handsome elf, where were we before I began to wax poetic?"

He swept his tongue across her cheek, placing tender kisses upon her mouth as his hands began to unfasten her armor. When the last of her leathers fell away, his fingers roamed to the places that drove her mad with desire.

He whispered to her breathlessly. "I believe we were right," _nipple pinched and_ _breast_ _squeezed, _"…about," _inner thigh_ _caressed,_ "…here." _Target found and assaulted_.

"Oh, my…Zevvv…ran…oh! Yes!"


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Elissa tensed as she heard feather light footsteps approaching behind her. She had been wandering the halls, surveying the damage from the darkspawn siege on the Keep that occurred a week prior while she was saving Amaranthine from the very same beasts. Things had been going well on all fronts. Nathaniel and she were on cordial, speaking terms and no obvious threats were looming before her. Her brain was trying work out some tactics for their final move on the Mother, when she heard the footsteps grow closer. Just as she could sense someone right behind her, she turned with a quick punch, connecting her fist to the man's jaw. It was then that Elissa saw that the man, now on the floor, was Zevran.

"Zevran! I'm sorry!" Elissa reached out to help him up. She drew him close and put her hand on his face, softly running her thumb across his jaw. "Why were you following me? And why didn't you block my throw?"

Zevran grinned and placed his hands on Elissa's hips as he explained. "I was checking on my voluptuous, future wife who has been skulking about the Keep. You have been so lost in thought this past week."

Elissa smiled and moved both hands behind Zevran's neck, knowing his words were spoken out of concern. She kissed his chin softly and sighed. "Mmm, your future wife. I do love the sound of that." She tilted her head to the side with an arrogant grin. "And your failure to duck?"

"Yes, an unfortunate miscalculation. It was a well-placed shot, I have to admit. But it was entirely your fault that I did not drop. Approaching you from behind is rather…distracting." As the last word left Zevran's lips, his hand slid from her hip and mischievously squeezed her rear-end, pulling her body closer to him as he did so.

A giggle escaped her mouth as she stared into Zevran's eyes. "Distracting? Well maybe I can distract you even more?" She pulled him in for a more passionate kiss. Her fingers ran through Zevran's hair and his hand remained on her bottom as their kiss deepened. They separated for a moment, both smiling, but returned quickly to each other's lips. Their tongues danced as Zevran drew his fingers from Elissa's hip up to her breast. His touch made her shiver, and she nibbled on his lower lip, tempting him to go further.

"You know," he said, eyes bright with desire, "it seems your bosom is quite full as of late. I have been reluctant to mention this, but...do you think, maybe…?"

Elissa pulled away from their embrace, bothered by his inquiry. "I know what you are asking. I…cannot think about that right now. There are too many things, too many lives at stake to be concerned with something that will never come to pass. We need to take care of the Mother before I can venture to think about what the future holds." _The Mother:_ the name was surely a twist of fate, she thought.

Zevran sighed and spoke thoughtfully. "My love, if you are with child, you should not be fighting, you should not be under _any_ undue strain. Let someone else lead. You are not the only one capable of…"

"No! That is out of the question! This is my decision, Zevran! You have no right to tell me what to do!"

"Do I not? Is this child not mine as well as yours? Do you think I wish any harm to come to something that is a part of me? And to have your life in jeopardy, too? Do not carry on irrationally, Elissa!" he shouted angrily.

"I am not having this conversation right now, Zevran." Elissa turned to storm off but Zevran swiftly grabbed her wrist.

"Mi amor, calm down and think about this for a moment. I understand why you are conflicted, but this child deserves to be given a chance to live…and to have an able-bodied mother to raise her." His gaze pleaded for agreement. Her lack of concern for his feelings struck him deeply, but he did not let her see inside his heart.

The confusion in her eyes spoke volumes. "Her?…" she said as a tear fell from the corner of her eye. "I need to go, Zevran. I'll be by the lake if I am needed. Stay here and see that preparations run smoothly for our journey to Dragonbone Wastes." Elissa yanked her arm free and ran for the stairs.

Zevran did not follow her. He knew she would not accept any comfort from him until she sorted out her thoughts. Instead, he would bitterly do as she instructed and so he headed for the armory. After spending some time organizing weapons and doling out instructions, a flash of intuition caused him discontent. He thought he should follow her after all.

It was only a short while before Elissa reached the lake. It was so silent and still, a sharp contrast to everything she had experienced lately. She thought of Zevran, skipping stones on this lake, after he had seen her with Nathaniel. She shook her head, trying to erase the memory of his anguish that day. Elissa had left him at the Keep with the very same expression on his face. She looked down and placed her hand on her stomach and tried to convince herself that no child could grow, be born and survive with the taint that infected her womb.

Lost in depressing thoughts, her brain barely acknowledged the sharp jab to the small of her back until she dropped to her knees, the hit knocking the air out of her lungs. Before she could catch her breath, an unexpected kick slammed into her face causing her to land on her side with her mouth tasting the shoreline. She heard angry commands being ordered in a language not her own, which she couldn't even process due to a second kick to the face. Then everything went black.

When she awoke in her cell, her vision was blurred and she let out a pained moan of frustration. Her entire face ached, and the taste of blood on her tongue caused her to squeeze her eyes shut momentarily. She tried to sit up, but only managed to roll onto her back as she began to sob. The pain in her back no doubt kept her on the floor without the need for any restraints, not that she had any way of escaping. Her armor was gone and replaced with a simple cloth shift that barely covered her naked body. She touched the damp floor, and opened her eyes once more. Her vision had cleared a bit, but the tears still burned.

She lay there silent in the corner of the dark room with only the light of a torch glowing through the metal bars of the cell door. She concentrated on the silence and gradually, she could make out the voices of her captors in a distant room. Their words were foreign but their drawl familiar. The Antivan Crows had finally captured their prey, at least half of their prey. At that realization, Elissa hoped that Zevran had gone to the lake to find her and that he had read the signs of her abduction on the sand.

How much time had passed, she didn't know, but she was not surrounded by her own excrement and that was one encouraging thought. There was nothing familiar about her location, but she thought she must not be too far from the Keep. Amaranthine City? Maybe, for it was close to the Keep, yet far enough away that a rescue would take time to plan. The shock of her situation wore off and she tried to think of what might happen next. Before a clear idea entered her head, the cell door swung open and a dark haired Crow walked in, followed by a woman and another man.

"Finally awake Warden? We have been so patient waiting to see those lovely sapphire eyes of yours," the Crow said smoothly. His rich accent caused her to close her eyes and she could almost see Zevran's face. "No, no. You must not sleep yet, Commander," he ordered as he slapped her face to keep her from nodding off.

Her eyes popped open. "How long have I been here?" she asked quietly.

"Only since yesterday. Tsk, tsk. So foolish of you to wander off alone without the deserter. I expect he will come for you soon enough. The question is, will you still be alive when he arrives?"

"What do you want from me? I have nothing you need. Is this revenge for Taliesan, or something more?"

"Oh, yes, revenge is sweet, and luring the traitor to us will be more than rewarding, I assure you."

"Zevran is neither stupid nor weak. He will know this is a trap, so you might as well kill me now and save yourself the effort."

He chuckled at her boldness. "Oh-ho, Commander, you make me laugh. He will come, of that I have no doubt. In any case, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Antonio. I work for Master Ponifico. You may have heard our names mentioned by your lover, no?"

"Of course...Antonio." It was clear to Elissa that she was in very deep waters with little to keep her from drowning.

"How is your back? So painful, I know. My mage here will heal you a bit; just enough for you to appreciate how much the Crows enjoy torture. Tia, now please," he said flatly. Antonio motioned to the mage and Elissa instantly felt the healing powers surge through her body. Her aches subsided and she was able to get on her feet. Although the pain was not completely absent, she felt well enough to lunge at Antonio with all her might. Unfortunately for her, he expected that to happen and he swiftly grabbed her hands and shackled them to a metal ring that was secured to the wall of the cell. The chains were only long enough for her to lie on the floor a few inches from the wall and no farther.

"Now, now lovely Elissa, do not be so quick to attack me. That will make for many unpleasantries put upon you. My mage and I shall leave you in the company of Ramon, this fine Crow here." Antonio put his hand on the man's broad shoulders. "He will most certainly enlighten you as to our ways." Antonio and the mage exited and locked the cell door, leaving the immensely muscular Crow standing before Elissa, leering.

She could smell him as he stood a few feet from her and the scent was musky and most unpleasant. She pressed her back to the wall, knowing what was to come. Elissa steeled her brain to endure that which was the most heinous of acts one could do to a woman and she thought how lucky she had been up until now, never having been raped like so many other women she had seen in her travels as a Grey Warden.

The Crow moved closer to Elissa, fury in his eyes. "You are a very beautiful woman. My fellow Crows shall be so jealous of the fun times I will have with you." One large hand stroked her cheek savagely as the other tore off her shift. "Mm, and a deadly body to match your spirit, I see."

Elissa pinched her eyes closed as Ramon's hands roamed over every inch of her skin. He groped her breasts and bit her neck all at once, causing her to flinch. She wondered if she could persuade him to go easy, to not hurt her and the unborn child she now feared for. Zevran was right, she thought, about so many things. How could she be so stupid to walk away from the Keep without as much as a guard for her protection?

"Please…please, listen to me, Ramon," she whispered to the Crow desperately.

"Quiet, bitch. One more word…" he threatened.

"I am with child," she stated calmly.

The man pulled back slightly and grinned evilly. "A first for me then, _puta_. I will enjoy this all the more."

"Damn and blast you!" she shouted, slamming her head to his chest. Ramon's open palm slapped her face twice and blood dripped from the split on her lip. He grabbed a fistful of hair and pushed her head against the hard wall.

"A feisty one, you are. I will break you of that bad habit," he promised. "Enough talk!" With that command, he took hold of her shoulders and pressed her body down to the damp floor of the cell. She struggled to free herself from his grasp, but he was too strong, too heavy and too determined.

"Do not make this any harder than it has to be, whore. Tomas! Viene aquí!" he shouted while turning his head to the cell door. Elissa took that opportunity to sink her teeth into his arm, drawing blood.

A forceful hand swept across her face again, nearly knocking her unconscious. "You will regret that," he hissed. The other Crow had entered the cell and was awaiting instruction. "Tomas, hold her legs for me. I grow tired of this woman's games!" Tomas stood above her head and pulled her legs up by the ankles, exposing Elissa to the man whose breeches were now down around his knees. In one quick, painful thrust, Ramon stole her will to fight. As Tomas and Ramon took turns defiling every part of her body, she prayed even harder for Zevran to save her from this humiliation and suffering, to save her _and_ their child. _Please Zevran, please hurry._ All she could do was pray, and let her mind escape what her body could not. She closed her eyes and let herself drift to a ship full of carefree guests and free flowing wine.

* * *

As Zevran approached the lake, he too thought back to the last time he had been there, worrying over the mental state of his lover. Scanning the area now, he saw no sign of Elissa. He knew he was less than an hour behind her as he walked the perimeter of the lake. Eventually, he came upon some disturbed sand and upon closer inspection, his breathing ceased and his heart was gripped with dread. The profile of his lover, the mother of his child, and the woman of his dreams was imprinted in the sand.


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N: **__Thanks again to everyone reading/reviewing/alerting, etc. Special thanks to __**Decantate **__for her wise words, encouragement and enthusiasm! _

**Chapter 22**

"Where is she? Where is Elissa?" Nathaniel raced to the panicked elf at the gates. "They have her, Zev?" He handed Zevran a wrinkled parchment and reality struck. "Maker, the Crows have her."

In one nimble motion, Zevran snatched the note and held a dagger to Nathaniel's throat. "Down on the ground, Howe!"

Nathaniel dropped to his knees, uneasy with Zevran's madness. "Zev, I had no part in this. Read the note," he said evenly.

"On your stomach! Now! Or I swear, Howe, I will cut out your heart and feed it to you!" Zevran demanded, his eyes bulging with rage. Nathaniel acquiesced and laid flat on the ground, arms out. Zevran took a step back and held up the note.

_Z,_

_She will make for lovely company. Send the Howe to Bianca._

_A._

Zevran stuffed the parchment in a pocket and reached out his hand to Nathaniel. "Get up," he ordered with a sigh.

Nathaniel got to his feet and spoke cautiously. "Maker's breath, you believe me then?"

"We must make haste to Amaranthine City. _Bianca_ is a ship, yes?"

* * *

On galloping horseback, Nathaniel, Anders, and Oghren waited for Zevran to give direction.

Zevran rode next to Nathaniel and laid out his simple design. "Tell the contact that I agree to offer my life in exchange for hers. You will escort me to their lair and they will hand her over. Without delay, Anders will heal her and you will bring her back to the Keep…immediately, you understand? I want no heroics, no feats of strength."

Oghren overheard Zevran's plan and disagreed. "Come on Zev, the Warden wouldn't want ya to do that, ya blighted elf. Let's go in and bash their brains and we'll get her out, all of us!"

"You must do as I say, my friend. Any delays and they will kill her. This I know." The desperation in Zevran's voice frightened Oghren more than any darkspawn ever had.

"And what if she commands us to do it, Zev?" Anders spoke up, frustrated. "We cannot disobey a direct command from her and you know it."

"You **must** ignore her. She will understand…in time. I promise you this, if you hesitate to remove her from the situation, even for a moment, she and the…she will die." Zevran gave his horse a swift kick.

Nathaniel understood the elf loved her, that he would endure extreme torture and a painful death so that she might survive. "I would offer myself if I thought it would help. For what it's worth Zev, I am sorry." A moment of silence was shared between the men, all inwardly admitting Zevran's fate.

"Do not be sorry for me. Just do as I say and Elissa will be in safe hands." Zevran nodded to Nathaniel.

Anders was not at all comfortable with the plans. "Zev, if I heal her, she will kill us if we stand in her way. You know she would do anything to save you, or any of us, for that matter. Can't we try a paralyze spell? I can stop them from advancing on us and..."

"No fighting, I said! Do not heal her enough to fight, mage! Just enough to get her to the Keep! Use a sleeping spell or something! Brasca! Are you all addle-brained?" Zevran's composure disintegrated. "Faster now!"

* * *

After riding through the night, they tied up the horses just before the city line. Nathaniel turned to Zevran. "All right, then. We shall meet in this same spot?"

"Yes. The forest here is still dense enough for cover."

"Stay safe, Nate," Anders said as they watched him jog away. Zevran paced uneasily, clenching his fists and alternately palming his weapons.

It was just under an hour before the Howe returned. Nathaniel spoke before catching his breath. "I met with a female Crow, Zev…they have her in the…former smugglers lair…in a cell. She is alive according to Nara, but…"

"But what, man? Spit it out!" Zevran snapped.

"She is…Elissa is…in rough shape." He did not want to elaborate.

But Zevran needed to hear it; he needed his blood to boil with vengeance, to feel her suffering as if it were his own. "Tell me what they have done to her," he said in a forlorn and pained voice.

Nathaniel's posture begged him not to ask for more."Zev, you know. Don't ask me…"

"Tell me!" he bellowed. Anders startled and Oghren bowed his head in reverence.

"She has been…forced to do things… beaten and then healed…they know she is expecting and still, they…" Nathaniel went silent, his face in his hands. Though shocked by Elissa's pregnancy, not one dared to acknowledge it.

Then Anders stepped forward and placed his hand on Zevran's shoulder. "But she is alive, Zev. Alive! We can still free them!" One look into Anders' sympathetic eyes and Zevran allowed the tears to come.

Zevran knew the tactic well. They were torturing her to make him capitulate. Remote thoughts of his survival were dashed. Zevran had no choice.

* * *

Elissa had barely touched the food and water left by the mage. As she rested against the wall, her muscles throbbed and her skin stung with irritation from blood, and filth, and bodily fluids. The many times she had been violated had melded together and she scarcely remembered her life before. The child she had tempted fate to dream about now kept her from willing her own death. She longed for Zevran's touch, the warmth of his bronzed skin against her fairness and the herbal scent of his hair. With lids pinched shut, visions of lavender fields drifted by her mind's eye.

Jarring her from the daydream, the cell door crashed open. "Wake up! Time for a little chat." Antonio came in alone, leaving a guard just outside the cell. "Your lover comes to save you. Such a pity. The men were hoping to keep you here a bit longer," he said running a finger across her cheek.

"Where?" she asked, the only word that escaped her bruised throat.

"You will see him soon enough. But we are not savages. We cannot let his last image of you be the pitiful site before me now. Tia, come!" The mage entered with a basin of water and some clean cloth. "Ready the Warden for her reunion with the deserter, brief though it may be," his laughter reverberating off the cell walls.

Tia moved towards her, placing the water by Elissa's legs. "You haven't the strength to refuse so do not try." Tia poured some water on Elissa's head to rinse out what she could. She wet the cloth and began washing Elissa.

"The bruises are quite deep. You may have some scarring about your arms but your face is still lovely," she said admiringly. Elissa was surprised by the mage's tender touch. She was a woman, a kindred spirit who may not be a willing instrument for the Crows. Her long, black hair stood in sharp contrast to her porcelain skin and her face told a story of innocence lost.

"Why?" Elissa whispered as her gaze met Tia's.

"Why what? Why clean you? Because I was ordered to do so." She continued to wipe at the grime. "I have clean clothes, too. Not elaborate ones like you are accustomed to, but clean." Elissa never was one to wear fancy clothes unless Zevran bought them for her and she sighed in nostalgia.

"I am surprised you have lasted this long. I have seen a great many men who could not endure what you have." The mage never stopped to look her in her eyes again, keeping her focus on the bloodied cloth.

The restraints scratched at her skin as Elissa moved her hand to her abdomen. "And my child?"

"It yet lives, but for how long, I do not know. Their constant violations are not good for the unborn. It sullies the spirit." The mage shook her head disapprovingly.

Elissa closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. "Zevran? Is he here?"

The mage covered Elissa's mouth. "Sh. Do not ask what I cannot say."

Elissa twisted her head releasing the mage's grasp. "Please, I beg you…"

Tia moved her lips to Elissa's ear. "He is not here…yet. All I can say is to remember what you see, for his life will end soon."

"No…that can't be true," Elissa whispered. "Help me, please. You can come with us…a better life for you, I give you my word."

"Be silent, my lady, or you will get us both killed. It is impossible. Even if you get out alive…" Tia turned away but Elissa saw a spark of hope in her eyes.

As the mage tore away the soiled shift and replaced it with a simple, peasant dress, Elissa tried to convince her once more. "Please, trust me. I know you can help and I can see your desire to be free. I can free you."

"No. You are but one woman and there are so many Crows. No," she said despondently.

"If not for me, then for my child. You are a woman. Surely you know how desperate I am. Have you…any children?" Elissa asked carefully.

Tia's shoulders slumped as she readied to leave, wringing out the cloth into the crimson water. "I had a child…once. But they took him away and…" The mage sat silent for a moment and then rose to her feet. "I wish you luck, my lady." She collected her supplies and left.

"Wait, please! Tia! Tia!" The metal door locked once more. Only then did Elissa realize the mage had not healed her. The chains rested on her arms beneath the dress. Elissa looked down and thought how appalled Zevran would be to see her in such a drab frock.

Voices inched closer to the chamber and Elissa hoped in vain for her rescue. Instead, the toothy grin Ramon wore caused her to shudder.

"I thought a proper goodbye was in order and you clean up so nicely," he said, exahaling heavily. He kneeled before her and hiked up her dress. "I shall do my best to keep you clean and pretty. Now, I want you on your knees!" Ramone grabbed her by the waist, pulling her close to gnaw at her breasts. Elissa gathered what little saliva she had and spat at his face. Ramon backhanded her and threw her, face down on the floor. He lifted her hips, violently separating her legs and squeezing her skin until it broke. "A little something to remember me by."

At least it would soon be over, Elissa thought, preparing for another beating and another humiliation. As she felt him press against her bottom, she retreated to the safe place in her mind where he could not lay hands on her.

* * *

Zevran led his companions to the small shack that held the hidden entrance to the Crows den.

Nathaniel had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Zevran's surrender would crush Elissa and he wished for some other way to secure her safety. "Zev, are sure about this? We could get help, in the city. Surely Aidan's guards would assist us after everything Elissa did for Amaranthine."

"No. No outside involvement. I will not be responsible for the death of innocents." Zevran was unyielding and Nathaniel respected his decision.

As they approached in silence, Zevran paused and looked to the sky. It was a beautiful afternoon, as hot as an Antivan summer day. The sun warmed his cheeks and a melancholy smile formed on his lips. Before long, he would see her and he would tell her to be brave, to remember the good, and to tell his tales to their child. He turned to her friends. "It is time."

Nara was waiting to unlock the hatch door to the underground hideout. She said nothing as she pulled on the wooden board covering the hole. As the men descended, Zevran broke out in a sweat, his heart drumming an agonizing beat.

"The great Zevran Arainai has come to grovel. I never thought this day would arrive. How does it feel, hm? To know you will never see sunlight again?" Antonio's words struck like lighting as he taunted the elf.

Four sets of eyes surveyed the cave and each counted at least 40 Crows. It would be an impossible task to slay them all, even for such seasoned combatants.

"Where is she?" Zevran asked his protégé, his voice spewing hatred.

Antonio took several steps and narrowed the gap between them. "Straight to the point. I like that. Ramon! Get his whore!" Nathaniel's lip twitched, but Zevran remained motionless.

In an instant, the burly Crow had Elissa by the arm and dragged her limp form towards Zevran. She was barely conscious but her companions could hear soft moans of pain grow louder as she neared.

Ramon dropped her body at Zevran's feet and paced backwards as he mocked the elf. "She was quite an arousing prize, Arainai. So pleasing…so yielding."

"You pig bastard! You're a disgrace to mankind!" Anders shouted. Antonio and Ramon shook their heads in quiet laughter.

Zevran crouched with his knees bent and his weight on his feet as he gathered Elissa into his arms. "Mi amor, it is I. Look at me," he whispered. Zevran brushed away the hair covering her face, revealing her bruised cheeks. Her eyes blinked open slowly. "Elissa, my dove. I am here," he said kissing her forehead. He saw the beautiful and dangerous, carefree woman he loved and not the abused captive in his arms.

"Zevran? Oh, Zevran…I've missed you so much. Take me home, Zevran. We can go now." She smiled at him, not aware of where she was or what was to happen. "Why are we not leaving? I'm so cold and tired…I need to rest. Please, take me home."

"Elissa, my love, I…" Zevran's throat closed with despair.

"Why are you crying? What has…happened?" Elissa began to rouse from her state and peered beyond Zevran's shoulder. Nathaniel, Anders, and Oghren stood behind Zevran, not looking at her, but looking away. "Zevran, what is this? No. This can't be…I…I won't allow it!"

"Ah, mi amor, so bossy." Zevran smiled through his tears. "This is how it must be. You and our child must live…live for me. You must be brave; you must…tell her our story."

"Get a move on, Arainai! We have wasted enough time!" Antonio shouted curtly.

Elissa labored to rise, but the pain held her back. Her face twisted in anguish and her voice grew louder. "No, please don't do this, Zevran. You can't leave me! Nathaniel! Anders! Don't let him go! Oghren! I command you to fight!" Still, they looked away.

Zevran cupped her cheek, his touch urging her to be peaceful. "Calm, Elissa. Do not fight me on this. I must go now, but I love you, mi amor. I will love you until the end. Remember the nights, sweet and satisfying, and the days, the many days, filled with wine and loving. Feel this with me now, at twilight. Do not mourn. We shall meet again…"

Frantically she pleaded, hand clutching hand. "No, Zevran, I cannot let go, I won't. We need you and I can't bear to let you go…" Tears and blood fell from her cheek and stained pink on her golden hair. Nathaniel glanced at Zevran effortlessly rising up with Elissa cradled in his arms. Zevran kissed her lips, tasting her sorrow and her eyes shut. He released her to Nathaniel's waiting arms.

Zevran stroked her hair, the usual flicker in his eyes extinguished. "I am sorry, my love. Te amo mi paloma, mi corazón y alma." He straightened himself, his gaze never wavering. The words that guaranteed her safety escaped his lips. "Go now. Take her and…protect her."

"You have my word." Nathaniel bowed his head.

Her companions sped to the ladder leading to the surface. "Put me down, Nathaniel! Dammit, put me down! Zevran! Come back! Zevran!"

They helped Nathaniel to climb, her writhing body weighing him down. Her screams echoed about the cave as Oghren led in front and assisted Nathaniel up the ladder.

At last glance, she clutched Nathaniel's arm and stared, silent in her horror. Her lover was immobile, restrained by Ramon. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments when the hilt of a sword hammered into his head. Ever graceful, Zevran collapsed to the ground.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: **The song "Broken Arrow", by the great Robbie Robertson, inspired me, and I felt compelled to share some of the lyrics. Normally, I do not listen to music when I write, but this song popped into my head and I listened to it repeatedly while working on this chapter. Rod Stewart also covered it in the early 90s. Thank you once again to everyone reading, reviewing, and the like.

_Who else is gonna bring you a broken arrow? Who else is gonna bring you a bottle of rain?  
There he goes, moving across the water. There he goes, turning my whole world around._

Do you feel what I feel? Can we make that so it's part of the deal?  
I gotta hold you in these arms of steel. Lay your heart on the line...this time.

I want to come when you call. And I'll get to you if I have to crawl.  
They can't hold me with these iron walls. We've got mountains to climb.

_-Robbie Robertson_

* * *

"I have to do this..." Elissa hesitated, stroking the indent on her bare ring finger. She stood, stretching her limbs free of the stiffness and her eyes darted through the trees. Thoughts centered on her self-imposed mission made the memory of the past few days fade. "And if my actions don't get me killed, I wager I'll have to answer to Weisshaupt for this."

"Maybe so, but we've got yer back. Damn swishy elf. By the stone, girl, leave that pretty boy and I'll show ya what it's like to have a real man polish yer blades."

"That's… a lovely sentiment, Oghren." The dwarf twirled his beard, self-satisfied that his cheekiness had lightened the mood. "Maker, it's so hot...Zevran would love to bask in this." She shook her head and squinted into the sun. "Anders, can you do anything more for me?"

"I'm doing all I can, but some of the wounds are deep. In the meantime, drink this." Anders handed her a small vial and patted her arm. "By the way, you were right. I do owe you my life…we all do. So will you protect me when Zev tries to decapitate me?" he asked drumming his staff with two fingers.

"And me, as well?" Nathaniel chimed.

"Yes, and gladly," she said turning to Nathaniel. "When you were at the docks, did you happen to see the _Siren's Call_?"

Nathaniel raised a brow. "As a matter of fact, I did. You think the Captain will help us?"

"Yes, I do. Isabela is very skilled and she has quite a soft spot for Zevran. Oghren, take Anders, and speak to Constable Aidan. Ask him…no, _tell_ him that I require his aid. "

"Zev didn't want outsiders involved…and getting killed," Nathaniel replied.

"He said that? Look what I've done to him," she sighed. "Well, I am not feeling so soft. Get as many soldiers as you can. Money talks, right boys? Tell them I will pay a great deal of coin."

"You don't _have_ a great deal of coin." Anders' snarky remark triggered a smile to form on her lips.

"They don't know that now, do they?"

* * *

The Waking Sea shivered in the heat ahead of them. "Zevran trusted you with my life," Elissa said, a hint of puzzlement in her tone.

"Yes, he did. He was mad with fear, for you and his child. He loves you, Liss, maybe more than you know...certainly more than I knew."

"Zevran made a wise decision to charge you with my safety."A pang of longing fluttered her heart. "And you're wrong, Nathaniel. I _do_ know." Elissa squeezed his arm as they boarded the _Siren's Call_.

Isabela kissed one cheek, then the other. "I have heard the dreadful news. You want my help, yes?"

"I do. Anything I have is yours if you-"

"Ha! Do not ask for my help and insult me in the same breath! For Zev, my help comes free."

Elissa's heartbeat slowed to normal. "Thank you," she whispered, misty with gratitude.

The pirate's gaze shifted to roam from Nathaniel's boots up to his smoldering eyes. "And who might you be, handsome?"

Nathaniel wore a charming smile and bowed at the waist . "I am Nathaniel Howe. It is a pleasure to meet you, Captain."

"_My_ pleasure, I'm sure," she purred. "Call me Isabela, then. We shall have to get better acquainted…_after_ we save Zev's ass."

"You sound confident, Isabela. I admit that reassures me greatly," Elissa said.

"What is it that Zev always says? Ah yes, 'We are ridiculously awesome!' " Isabela cackled, bold in her stance.

"We counted at least 40 Crows when he turned himself over. They were heavily armed and employed several powerful mages," Nathaniel countered.

"Elissa, how many are we?" Isabela asked.

"Well…four Wardens, you, and…" Elissa held her breath.

"And? Surely you must have collected more bodies for this task."

"The City Guard should help…" Elissa's breathing began to strain. "I was their prisoner when Zevran came for me and he didn't bring any others…stupid, stupid man!"

"Calm down, Sweetie. Give me a little time." Sweat dripped from Elissa's temples and her hair stuck to her cheeks. Isabela tilted her head and smiled as she tucked the damp hairs behind Elissa's ears, her thumb tracing a bruise. "For me, failure is not an option." She disappeared before Elissa could react.

"She's an interesting character, hm?" Nathaniel stepped in front of Elissa, handing her a small cloth he pulled from his pocket. She dragged the handkerchief across her forehead and dabbed the corners of her eyes.

"That she is, Nathaniel." Trembling hands found steadier ones that kept her from collapsing and led her to Isabela's quarters.

"You should not be doing this in your condition." He handed her a glass of water and sighed. "In fact, I think you should stay out of the fray. He asked me to protect you and I intend to keep that promise."

"You can protect me all you want, fight next to me if you wish. Just do not stand in my way, Nathaniel. I don't think you understand why I must do this." Elissa cast him an nasty stare.

"I know you love him, but…he wouldn't want you to risk endangering the child."

"Don't lecture me, Nathaniel! I _am_ thinking of our child and I will not take any unnecessary risks." She sipped the water, savoring the coolness on her throat. "Half of me sits in a cell in that cave. Without him, my life is vacant. I owe my child a mother who has no regrets, no open wounds to fester and infect everything she touches."

"Liss, you'll be a fine mother with or without Zev." The screech of her chair scrapping across the deck startled him. "I'm sorry! That came out wrong. I just meant that you are more than capable to raise a child. Besides, I would never leave you alone," he sighed.

"I know. You're an honorable man, Nathaniel Howe." Elissa was frustrated, not angry. He would take Zevran's place in a heartbeat, as protector, as lover, as father.

Pessimism heaved in her heart and she tried to push it down. "It's been two hours since we left him and Maker knows what kind of torment he is enduring…"

Once more, his handkerchief found her tears and his palm rested on her hand. "Isabela said failure is not an option," assured Nathaniel. " I agree."

* * *

She came into the cabin, shrouded in black and Elissa recognized the eyes immediately. "He is in that cell," Tia said, stealing glimpses of the docks.

Elissa swallowed her fears. "You risk too much, Tia. But please, how is he?"

"These Crows here cannot take his life. The Master will do so with his own hand, send his head to Antiva and…tsk, men and their need for power. He is alive. That is not to say there were no… offenses."

Elissa's hand moved over her heart. "Stay, we will protect you. What are their plans?"

"They leave at dawn, for the Free Marches. The ship, _Magdalena_, she is ready and waiting."

"Then we spring on them in the morning," Elissa stated with conviction.

"Sleep first. It will be risky, my lady." Tia's fingers sparkled blue on Elissa's shoulder.

"Yes, I should…rest."

* * *

The dream came the moment her lids met. Bronze skin dappled with scarlet slouched behind metal bars and a fair hand reached out to brush the braids away revealing slumber and shallow breaths. Pale fingers traced the brown curves on his cheek. "Stay with me…stay…please, Zevran Arainai."

"Liss, Liss…hey, it's me. It's time to go." Nathaniel's hands shook her shoulders with care.

"Nathaniel…I was dreaming…I saw him. He's…he is…" she murmured, resting her head on his chest and calming to the beat of his heart.

"Hush now, it will be alright." Nathaniel's hands lifted her head to see his eyes blazing with courage. "Ready yourself. Collect your weapons and harden your spirit for this battle."

"But, what if-?"

Nathaniel's hand sliced the air. "No! No what ifs. When we have succeeded, then we can discuss the what ifs, and then, they will mean nothing."

* * *

"Tia, I have secured a room for you at the Crown and Lion. Take this and wait until one of us comes for you." Elissa handed her a pouch filled with coin. "And thank you."

"Good fortune, my lady." The mage left in the dark shadows before sunrise.

Elissa sheathed her weapons and turned to the pirate. "Isabela, are we ready?"

"I have placed five guards at strategic locations near the _Magdalena_. I found a few _volunteers _who owed me. Some will aid in the fight. One will send word when the Crows emerge and one will signal when they are near the ship. And then we strike."

"Good. Zevran will no doubt be disguised and unconscious." Elissa turned to address her companions. "Be wary of who you kill."

"Right, Warden. Bloody nug runners. We know what to do," Oghren said gripping his battleaxe.

"The guards won't last long. Stay alert. Every last one is an assassin." The four Wardens and Isabela left the _Siren's Call _and headed for cover.

When the signal came, a powerful energy flowed from her soul to her daggers. Nathaniel stayed close and Anders was ready to heal her even if she didn't need it. The lower ranked Crows came first. Of the twelve, seven died by Elissa's hand.

The next wave of assassins and mages was not dispatched so easily. A punch to the head caused Elissa to hit the deck. The assaulting Crow fell back as Elissa's leg knocked out his feet from under him. She quickly raised her weapons and deflected another sword as it came down upon her and the weapon struck the deck and became lodged in the wood. Oghren detached that Crow's head from his shoulders.

Again, she felt the enemy at her back. She spun on her heels and a blade sliced a hole in her breastplate but Elissa's leg struck the woman with such force the Crow flew across the deck, sailing over the rail into the sea.

In a moment of peace, Elissa assessed the carnage. Isabela was taunting a pretty, young Crow and Nathaniel was covered in blood. Still, there was no sign of Zevran.

Her bloodlust returned when Elissa spun around and Ramon's broad shoulders squared to fight. She immediately leapt over his blade and delivered a swift strike to his face in mid-air and he stumbled backward, tripping on a corpse. She pounced on him and managed to get one stab into his thigh before he grabbed her by the waist and threw her several feet away, grinning all the while.

Nathaniel jumped in and landed a hard blow to his groin, and Ramon bent over in anguish. It was then Elissa seized a fistful of hair and pulled his head back to expose his neck. Her eyes flashed with vengeance as she drew her dagger across his throat and watched the blood spurt.

"A little something to remember _me_ by, you bastard." Her grip released and Ramon fell into a puddle of his own blood.

"Warden, over here!" Oghren shouted.

A bulky, brown sack was wedged between two dead Crows and Oghren sliced the burlap open allowing Zevran's body to spill out in a heap. "Zevran!" Elissa slapped his face but got no response. "Oghren, I haven't seen Antonio yet. Look around and kill anything that moves. Nathaniel! Take Zevran to the Inn and tell Tia to heal him. Anders! Stay with me!"

Rage she had never felt before filled her. She would not let any Crows go, not now, not ever. Elissa and Isabela stepped over the bodies and searched for Antonio's face among the dead.

"No one will question our actions today. However, Antonio must be in hiding, or gone, and that is not good. He will seek you out sooner or later," Isabela remarked, but Elissa ignored the comment.

"They're all dead, Elissa. Leave this for now and go to the Inn." Anders hand claimed hers and tugged her towards the docks.

* * *

Elissa didn't remember covering the distance, but suddenly she was there holding Zevran, his body so heavy and limp. The absence of the ring on his once caressing hands saddened her, and she skimmed a finger from the tip of his ear to its lobe to find his earring was missing as well. Pressing her fingers to his neck, she checked his pulse.

"Likely a potion…used to induce a near-death sleep. I do not know how long it lasts, or if there may be a potion to counter it." A small amount of dried blood colored the sheets at the foot of the bed. Elissa cleansed the knife wounds and realized that his calf muscles had been severed. "A common practice used to keep the victim from escaping," Tia said.

The mage healed what she could, but the larger muscles were difficult to mend. If he awoke, it would be some time before he could walk unaided. Exhaustion and heartache left her shaking, and tears trickled down past her ear before falling against Zevran's chest.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

The sun rose and set twice more before Elissa saw any sign of the man she loved. In the dim light of the third morning, her cheek rested on Zevran's hand when she felt a finger twitch. "Tia, quick!"

The mage placed her hands on either side of Zevran's head. "He is fighting this sleep. His will is strong, my lady." A shallow moan came from Zevran's throat, and his finger twitched once more. "Hold him and warm him with your body. He can draw from your strength and devotion."

Elissa did as instructed, crawling behind him to lean against the headboard. She wrapped her arms fully around him, his back resting on her chest, and his head on her shoulder. "Zevran…can you feel me? Please, wake up," she whispered, pressing a lingering kiss on his hand.

"Mmmm." Zevran took a deep breath and his lips parted. "You are…," he exhaled.

"Zevran, open your eyes." Elissa laid his head to rest on the pillow and knelt beside him, her face suspended above his.

"You are…Andraste. Then I am dead," he said, trying to blink away the confusion.

"No, it's Elissa. I am here with you, in Amaranthine."

His lips curved a bit as he stared at her face. "You are most beautiful, Andraste. Death is not so terrible, yes?" A devilish grin swelled on Zevran's face and Elissa's empty stare dissolved. "You are a foolish woman, Elissa. It is good to see you." He spoke just above a whisper and her lips found his at once.

"You scoundrel…" Beaming, Elissa turned to the mage. "Tia, water please." She slid her arms beneath his shoulders and helped him to sit up. Elissa placed the cup at his mouth, letting a few drops pass his lips. "Slowly, Zevran, or you will choke," she said with stern eyes.

"Yes, ma'am." Elissa placed the cup on the nightstand and Tia left the room with a nod.

Elissa enveloped Zevran in her arms, her hold unyielding and her worry eased. "I thought I might lose you, Zevran. Thank the Maker..." Her eyes were soft and her hands pulled his lips closer to hers. Elissa felt a welcome heat spark in her heart. Their mouths took in one another, tongues gliding along in a slow dance. Zevran delighted in her lips, savoring the feel and taste before he withdrew.

"It seems we are a bad influence on one another." Grinning like a fool, Elissa finally let him go.

"Yes, that is certain. You're not mad at me…are you?" she teased. "Did you really think I would let them take you to the Free Marches?"

"I _thought_ I could trust your friends to spirit you away. The rogue, the dwarf and the mage have some explaining to do." Elissa allowed him a few more sips of water.

"Don't be angry with them. I guilted them into to helping…well, maybe I threatened them too, but it doesn't matter now."

"Clearly you are better at intimidating than I. So tell me, how many days…what happened?" he asked, still a bit groggy.

Zevran shifted his body in discomfort to lie on his side, and Elissa told him her tale of the Crows, applauding her fellow Wardens for their unconditional support. "Unfortunately, I had to send Anders' back to the Keep to prepare for Dragonbone Wastes." To Zevran's amazement, she raved about Isabela with abandon. "She is a remarkable woman, but you already knew that. She cares a great deal for you...she didn't want any form of payment either."

"I am glad you now see her as she is. You know," he purred with a suggestive leer, "I can think of _one _thing she would not refuse. That is, if you are game."

Elissa looked at him in disbelief. "Awake such a short while and you're ready for a threesome? I'll need to ponder that one before we see her tomorrow." She couldn't get enough of him; her arms wrapped around his shoulders once more, keeping him close, and she smothered him with kisses. "I know I should stop and let you rest a while, but..."

Zevran pulled away and gritted his teeth. "Rest? I have been immobile for three days and you want me to rest? No, I need to get out of this bed." Without thinking, Elissa looked down at his legs. "What? What are you looking at?"

Elissa frowned, feeling the pain that came with caring. "It may be difficult at first. Do you remember what happened?"

Zevran's eyes shot wide open as the memory seized him. "Ah, yes. A very antiquated practice, that. Tell me, what does the mage say?"

"She has done a remarkable job, but she thinks it will take time to walk without aid. The calf muscles are very difficult to put right." She paused and took a breath. "I have these crutches here…I'm so sorry, Zevran."

"No, no. This was my doing. It was easy for me to die for you and our child. I was at peace with it," he said, easing her guilt. "More importantly, how are you and the little one faring?"

Elissa's face tightened. "Physically, I'm healed. I haven't thought about anything but your recovery…I can't." Weary, she collapsed backward onto the bed.

He engulfed her hands in his and pressed them to his heart. "It is not good to keep those thoughts buried, my love, but I will not pressure you." She gave him a helpless smile.

His hand moved under her shirt and glided along the supple skin of her stomach. "It is yet flat?" Then his breath hitched. "No! I feel a slight bump, yes?" His uncharacteristic nervous laugh shocked them both.

"Do you really?" She moved her hand to lie next to his. "Maker's breath Zevran, I didn't notice. I've never had interest in such things before. I should speak with Tia!" Her eyes sparkled with joy and he savored the moment.

"My sweet, sheltered, noblewoman. It is good to see that glow about you." Elissa ran lusty fingers along his muscled arm and chuckled.

"Ha! Yes, it is hard to imagine myself as a mother. But you as a father? You will be beyond compare." She pressed her lips to his with such force that he whimpered. "Oh, sorry! Did that hurt?" she gasped.

The twinkle in his eye returned and he laughed at her reaction. "No, it's alright…I can tolerate a small ache."

Her smile faded as her hand ran through her hair with rough strokes, the tears stinging as they fell. "I was so helpless, Zevran, and he was so cruel…the details I cannot bear. I prayed you would hurry, prayed for someone to come…and the worst thing of all…I almost wished for death. Were it not for our child, I would have willed it, I _would _have!"

Memories of Ramon assaulting her made her shudder. Her body quaked with shame and each sob was more painful than the last. Zevran repressed the powerful anger raging in him and in its place, used all his strength to wrap around her, catching her before she fell into the depths of self-loathing. "Elissa, do not be ashamed." Loving hands held her face steady. "You are strong and you are loved and our child grows in you because of that love. This, no one can destroy."

Elissa felt shielded by Zevran's tenderness, so sincere and penetrating, and some of the hurting melted away. Her head tilted up and her teary eyes narrowed in contemplation. "And you? You suffered as well."

Zevran waved his hand. "I was trained to bear such things. No, no, you have been through enough because of me."

"I'll be fine. I have to be. The Crows aren't done with us yet." Elissa sat up and scrubbed away the tears. "I'm sure Antonio will track us. But, after we take care of the last darkspawn threat, I'm resigning as Commander and then we can take care of the Crows, then we can focus on a normal life."

"Normal? I do not think a normal life is in the cards for us." Zevran sighed. "This is entirely my fault, I know. Whatever it takes, I will finish my business with them."

"Not without me, you won't. Please tell me you not thinking of going to the Free Marches or Antiva."

"They will stay away for now, especially while we travel with other Wardens. However, you are with child, a child that will need care after it is born. I cannot put the two people I cherish most in any unnecessary danger."

"I forbid you to leave me, Zevran! I swear I'll…do something….bad to you if you leave me." She wanted to scream and slap his face to make him understand, but she couldn't. "Look, we can't be sorry all the time. We need to stop apologizing for who we are and what we've done. We are in this together, and that's all I'm going to say about it."

"So true, and you have my word, no more apologizing." His thumb wiped away the last tears and pushed some loose tendrils behind her ear and a bright smile appeared on her face.

"Swear it?" she asked, smirking like a child as they entwined their fingers.

"Swear it. Now, if I may change the subject? Your hair, it is…dreadful." His legs were rigid but movable and he arranged himself next to her and ran his fingers through her tangled mane. "Please, allow me…" Between brush strokes, his full lips covered her neck, hot breath steamy in her ear. "Maybe we should get some food and fresh air so I can try those infernal crutches, hm?" He finished off the braid smoothing the stray hairs, and twisted her shoulders to face him. "There. So stunning…truly, a vision."

She couldn't stop her hands from stroking his bare chest and she let a hand wander lower still. "When you desire, I will show you how much I adore you…" She reached into his breeches and fondled him ever so carefully. "…after you regain some strength," she breathed in his ear.

"Do not tease me so," he begged. "I will hold you to that…this evening perhaps?" Warmth spread through his body as he leaned in, speaking between soft kisses. "In a dream you caressed my face…you said 'stay with me, Zevran Arainai'…and I thought you were real…I felt you there beside me."

"I _was_ there." Elissa cuddled closer and shut her eyes.

* * *

Elissa had been quiet and contemplative after their late lunch and short walk to exercise Zevran's legs. He held the door with a crutch as she entered their room and the warm shadows and hint of lavender scent the candles emitted soothed her mood. She kept her eyes low but Zevran closed the distance between them. Her eyes widened for a second and then closed as Zevran's lips pressed against hers. His tongue moved along her lips, and she in turn opened her mouth and let him slip in. He delighted in the way she felt, the way she smelled and tasted and she mewled at the feeling his touch created. She trembled just enough for Zevran to feel it and tighten his grip on her. He was hungry, wanting more of the breathtaking sensation, more of the feeling only she could give him.

She began to trace shapes on his back and her light touches extracted low groans of passion. "Do you approve, mi amor?" Zevran asked raising his brows and grinning.

"You are quite clever, Zevran. Who did you bribe to set this sultry mood?"

"You may not believe this, but Oghren and Nathaniel volunteered. Guilt, you see," he said proud as a peacock.

"Ah yes, I was speaking with Tia at the time. Sneaky…I can only imagine _that_ conversation." Elissa embraced him, seeking his touch.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, his lips toying with her neck and she breathed in, intoxicated by his aroma and her senses were overwhelmed. She caught her breath and he moved to claim her lips once more. He was controlled, letting kisses trail across her shoulder, teeth teasing her skin and Elissa responded, holding him with desperation and longing.

Zevran needed her, loved the feeling of her clinging to him, of her needing him. He moaned, no longer able to control his emotion and basked in the feeling of Elissa's silky skin under his hand. He lifted his mouth long enough to ask a simple question.

"Shall we?" he said, motioning to their bed.

"Mm, yes." Elissa took the crutches and threw them on a chair. "Let me help you."

Her hand smoothed over him and his arousal heightened as she grabbed around his waist and brought his mouth onto hers, all at once stripping off his shirt and guiding him onto the bed. She straddled him just below his thighs and sucked on his collarbone as he teased her supple breasts and caressed her. Her moans of pleasure were his song of praise. His hands lifted her shirt to kiss her stomach, and Elissa's arms moved upward and he slipped the blouse off, relishing in the perfection of her full chest.

"See something you like?" she said, red-faced and enraptured by this touch.

"I still make you blush, do I?" Powerful hands squeezed harder this time. "Have I mentioned my obsession with these?" Zevran ran his tongue across one breast to the other, and lingered to suck on a nipple. "It is my sincere hope they remain so voluptuous after our child is born."

"You know, they may even grow bigger? You're a very lucky man."

"Of that, I am well aware."

After tossing their clothes, Elissa resumed her straddle, gazing with a passionate, searing need reflected in her wanton eyes. "I can't wait, Zevran. A few days ago, I thought we might never be like this again."

Zevran's hips rose to meet hers, shimmying side to side as he positioned himself. "And look at you now…so aggressive. The Crows bring out the animal in you I hear."

"Hm? What did they tell you?" She froze, interested for only a moment. "No, tell me later. Right now I just need to feel you…" Elissa reached for his hardness and pushed him inside, tilting her hips to take him deeper, as deep as her body allowed.

His hips moved against hers, quickening the rhythm and he thrust up, her animalistic growls forcing him towards completion. He felt the swell of her climax building and throbbing, the pleasure flowing through her as she clenched around him. She gasped at the feeling of him shuddering beneath her and her own wave of pleasure washed over her as she dug her fingers into his skin and cried out his name.

Elissa collapsed onto Zevran's chest panting, almost breathless, yet disappointed with her quick release.

"Zevran, I'm sorry…that was so fast…I didn't mean-"

He put a finger on her lips for silence. "It was good? Yes, I think so. We have all night to perfect your new skills, my beauty."

"_New_ skills? Not new, just untested." Elissa rolled to his side with a wily grin growing larger by the second. She rested her head on his chest with a curious giggle. "Zevran?"

Wanting to nod off, he folded his hands under his head and closed his eyes. "Yes, amor," he whispered.

"If we have a boy, what do you think of the name Zevran…Junior?" She felt his shoulders jerk forward and when she glanced up, Zevran was looking at her as if she had sprouted a second head.

* * *

_A/N: __As always__, __thank you to everyone who reads/revs/alerts/favs. It really makes my day. Ahhh, nothing like a little Zevran lovin', even if it was quick. Next up, The Mother rears her ugly head, and her many, many breasts._


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N:**__ I lied. The Mother is not here yet. Instead, some conversations, fluff and a peek inside Zevran and Elissa's past as they make the trip back to the Keep. I'll be away for about a week, without a computer *sobs*, and I've had these little chats running through my head so I thought I would share them. Thank you, thank you to all who read/rev/alert/fav. I hope you enjoy…_

**Chapter 25**

"The answer is no and I am **done** discussing this!" Elissa shouted as her hands sliced across each other.

"Oh really? You may order your Wardens around but not me!" Zevran's hands were on his hips, free of the crutches for a short time. "You will not go without me and **that **is final!"

"Andraste's ass it's final! Gah! You are making me crazy, Zevran!" Elissa threw up her arms and stormed off.

"Brasca! You are **unusually **frustrating right now, Elissa!" he shouted at her back as she sashayed away.

Her companions repressed their laughter and kept their eyes on breakfast. It was the morning of the second day after leaving Amaranthine and the couple had argued most of the previous day. Tia tsked and Oghren shook his head as Elissa walked over to Nathaniel.

"Why are you guys so quiet?" she asked.

Nathaniel had an amused look on his face. "Good morning to you, too."

Elissa realized that she and Zevran were the reason for their impish grins. "Sorry, Nathaniel. It's that damn elf and his chauvinistic ideals," she scoffed. "Anyway, can I talk to you a minute?"

"Of course. What's on your mind?"

"Well, we haven't spoken much since Amaranthine and…Okay, I'm just going to be blunt. Are we okay? I mean…our friendship, because I know things didn't work out the way you would have liked-"

"And what would I have liked, Liss?" he interrupted.

"Please don't toy with me. This is hard enough...I never meant to hurt you and, um, well I'm sorry is all. You put your feelings aside to help Zevran and I am so grateful for that. I know it was...challenging ."

"I didn't do it for him, Liss and you know that. Don't apologize as you did nothing wrong."

"But I did. I…_we_ tied you up and threatened you…I wasn't thinking clearly and I was…scared." She moved her hand to cup his cheek, guilt driving her muscles to say what her voice could not. "I wish…Sometimes I wish things could have been different. Fate sent us in opposite directions it seems."

Nathaniel covered her hand with his for a brief moment, and then pulled away. "I'm just glad you're alive. Besides, I owe you for introducing me to Isabela. She is really something…"

"Oh, I know. Lucky for me she wanted you more than a ménage à trois. But she'll never settle down, you know."

"I don't think I could keep up with her zest for life, anyway," he said, feeling cheeky.

Elissa laughed at his comment. "You deserve a woman worthy of your company and I hope you meet her before long."

"Do you think I'll be lucky enough to find another before I grow old?" Nathaniel's face grew serious. "Just know, if you ever need me, I'm here for you."

Elissa opened her mouth to speak when Zevran's arm shot in front of her with a bowl of food. "My dear, you must eat." He glanced over at Nathaniel and nodded. "Good morning, Nate. Is my luscious and somewhat cranky partner giving you grief, too?"

"Nothing like she's given you, Zev." Nathaniel turned and walked towards the fire pit in silence.

Elissa ate a spoonful of Zevran's stew and nearly choked trying to speak. "Zevran, this is delicious!" His legs were aching some, but between his determination, and Tia's healing, Zevran was getting around rather well.

"I knew you would approve." Smug and satisfied, Zevran moved in for the kill. "So, will you agree to my accompanying you _now_?"

"Bribing me with spicy Antivan food? Fine, fine. You win. Just stay back when the time comes."

"And you will be by my side, correct?"

Elissa sighed. "Yeah." They shook hands, sealing the deal. Zevran pulled her close, flattening his lips on hers with an unmistakable bulge in his pants.

"Zevran, we just got up," she moaned into his mouth.

"And now we are going _back_ to bed." He dragged her to their tent and threw open the flap. "Get in, _now_," he growled.

"Yes, Ser!"

* * *

Zevran sat on a log polishing Duncan's dagger by moonlight, remembering the evening Elissa gave him the knife.

"_Do you like it?"_

"_I…I do not know what to say. It is too meaningful. I cannot accept such a gift." _

"_Yes, you can. I want you to have it. You'll hurt my feelings if you refuse."_

"_Oh? Far be it for me to break a girl's heart then. But, why would you give __**me**__ this? Surely Alistair would want it, or even you." _

"_You are a rogue, like me. And I already have the weapons I need. You must admit, it is a sexy dagger."_

"_Too true. Thank you, Elissa."_

"_Do you realize that is the first time you have called me by my given name?"_

"_I did? A slip, my Grey Warden. Or, do you want me to call you Elissa?"_

"_I want you to call me whatever makes you comfortable, Zevran. Now, let's go for a swim."_

Elissa handed her daggers to Zevran. "Here, can you clean mine too, please?" So deep in contemplation, Zevran did not answer. "Zevran, hey, what has you so lost in thought?"

"Oh, just remembering…that night. Everything changed that night, there in the pond."

"_Zevran! No splashing, you rascal!"_

"_A kiss then, I think. Yes, a steamy, hot kiss, my dear. One that will make you swoon…"_

"_Oh, Zevran, I feel… faint. But don't stop, please. I…I love you."_

A shiver ran down his spine when Elissa touched his hand. "Those words sealed my fate. I only wish I could have said the same to you that night."

"I knew, even if you didn't. I saw it in your eyes, the windows to your soul, as they say. Don't worry, you've made up for it many times over. Go ahead; say it and I'll swoon for you," she teased.

Zevran stood up, put an arm under her and tipped her backwards. He bent down and breathed heavily into her ear, whispering sultry words of love. "You are the most beautiful, most sensuous and titillating creature in all of Ferelden, and I love you, amor. I love you, I love you…I love you."

"Oh, Zevran, lift me up! I _do_ feel faint!" He pulled her up and she wrapped her arms around him tight enough to make him gasp. "Zevran, my love, you haven't lost your touch."

* * *

Zevran's tongue ran over the maternal swell of her stomach, tracing circles just below her navel. "Stop! That tickles, Zevran!" His warm, supple lips kissed her stomach twice, once for her, once for their baby. It was their last night of camping before arriving at the Keep. "Can you believe it, Zevran? A child…When we met, I never imagined you could _be_ a father let alone a father to _my_ child."

"_Deadly sex goddess? Do women really fall for that line? No wonder they sent you on fool's errand."_

"_Ah, but you wound me, Warden. Alas, I volunteered for this job."_

"_So what you're saying is that that you are a second-rate flirt, an incompetent assassin, __**and**__ dumb as a stone? You'll fit right in with our group. Welcome, Zevran."_

Zevran's hearty laugh reverberated through the camp. "Ha! Yes, I thought you were joking with me, but you truly believed your disparaging remarks."

Elissa smiled at him. "Not for long. As soon as my hand held yours to pull you up, I knew there was something about you I had to discover, something deeper than you let on." Elissa rolled over to prop her chin on her fists and admire her handsome elf. "And then, when you wanted to give me a _massage_? Maker, it was the cheesiest line I had ever heard."

"_You look so tired, my dear. It is all this constant walking and fighting. I think I know what you need."_

"_Really? And what might that be? A horse?"_

"_Too late for that I think. No, I offer you my hands, which are very practiced at soothing tired, aching muscles."_

"_My, my, Zevran. What else can you do with those hands?"_

"_Such a tempting minx you are. I can follow you to your tent and give you a demonstration, if you are of a mind."_

"_Oh, I am of a mind."_

Zevran chuckled wistfully. "At that moment, I thought you were my equal in the art of lovemaking. How you shocked me that night, amor."

"_Do you like the way this feels, my Grey Warden?"_

"_Yes, Zevran, but…I've never…I mean, I'm a…virgin."_

"_Truly? I see. Do not be afraid, my dear. Just say the word and I shall stop. Truthfully, it can be painful and uncomfortable at first. Try to relax and let me lead, yes? You won't be sorry."_

"And it did hurt, damn you." Elissa giggled, and then she turned melancholy. "You were my first, and now my last." Elissa's hand moved up and down his forearm tenderly. "I thought your bragging was such nonsense. Imagine my surprise at finding sex to be so pleasurable."

"I always said I was not a liar." She was on him in seconds, gyrating against his leg. "Shall we pretend it is your first time again?"

"Oh, yes," Elissa murmured, her hands running up his chest to grab his face and plant a searing kiss on his lips. "And I shall scream your name in ecstasy just as I did that night."

* * *

"How about Estrella." The name rolled of his tongue exotically. "It means 'star' in Antivan. Or Alejandro."

"Alejandro Arainai? Nope. No names that start with a vowel. How about something starting with a Z? Zion or Zeno?"

"I think one Z is enough for our family, my dear. Hm, 'Perfecta' for a flawless girl?"

"Too corny, Zevran. Come on, this shouldn't be so hard. I know, Lorenzo for a boy?" she said smiling wide-eyed.

He frowned. "No, no. Many a Crow with that name. Maybe Querida? It translates to 'beloved'."

"Um, I think it sounds too…foreign. Besides, Q is a strange letter. Navarro? No, no, to close to Navarra and we've never even been there."

"Carmelita is pretty, no?" he asked, his accent thicker than usual.

"For a working girl! No, too sexy."

"Brasca, is there no name in all of Thedas that is perfect for our son or daughter?" he asked, frustrated with this responsibility.

"Maybe this has crossed your mind…Rinna? Would you like that?" she asked, feeling a bit awkward.

"Truth be told, it _has_ crossed my mind, but I think a new name, without a tie to the past, is preferable." He entwined his fingers with hers and gave them a squeeze. "Yet again, you have surprised me with your generosity of spirit."

"For you, I would acquiesce. I know what she meant to you, even though it took me a while to understand." Elissa placed a faithful kiss upon his forehead.

Zevran let out a long breath. "Well, back to the beginning, my beauty. A…Brasca! No vowels! B then…"

* * *

"Why so serious, my dove? Apprehensive about Dragonbone Wastes?"

Elissa shook her head. Four days of travel with no dangerous distractions had caused her mind to wander. "It's not that, it's…we haven't talked about…you know, the calling? My calling, to be specific. If we are to have children, we need to think of the implications of my early…demise." Elissa's head hung low after the last word. "I don't want to think about it but I must, and you should too."

"My beautiful Warden, I treasure every day with you, every minute. The future does not cause me distress." _A lie_, he thought to himself. "Our children will know their path by then."

"We don't know that." Elissa hurt deeply, imagining a moment without him. "It will be hard to leave the ones who need me most, the ones that I love."

Zevran moved a stray lock of hair off her shoulder. "I would like to think you will not be alone. That is if you don't discard me like day old bread," he joked.

"Never, Zevran," she said, smoothing her hand across his cheek. "But, I won't let you take that journey with me."

With one quick, fierce movement, Zevran swept her up in his arms and dropped to his knees, holding her so close she struggled for a breath. "Your grief is my grief and your joys, my joys, but moreover, your life and mine are one in the same. No matter what comes, I am your man, in life and death, because I love you, Elissa." Zevran masked his face in her hair with a sob only she could hear. His lips moved to her ear and his words were soft and pure. "A wise man once said, 'one word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.'"

Her head pulled back to uncover his face, tears lying damp on his cheek, "I love you too, Zevran."

"Yes. I know." With two fingers, he wiped away her tears, then his, and resumed the conversation. "And should you need additional inspiration, I can offer many more overtures of love, some of which are naughty and wicked, just the way you like them."

_A/N: FYI, that 'wise man' was __Sophocles__._


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N:**__ Sorry for the delay. RL gets in the way sometimes and I struggled with the story line. This chapter became a huge, bear of a thing, so I split it into two chapters and it's still long! At least the next chapter will be up sooner rather than later, I think. And I skipped the Mother battle, too. Will this story ever end, I ask myself? Every time I'm ready to take that right going in one direction, my muse bites me and I turn left. A giant thanks and a hearty handshake for everyone reading/reviewing/alerting/faving. _

**Chapter 26**

It was early spring, a sunny day brimming with new life and growth. Elissa rested on the daybed adjacent to the window with a pile of correspondence on her lap. Instead of signing off on Arling and Grey Warden business, she stared out at the courtyard, hoping he would saunter through the gates with a hearty laugh on his lips and lustful eyes searching only for her, and maybe a hot bath. A loud rap on the door startled her and she fell back into reality.

"Enter," she said abruptly.

Dressed in her everyday black robes, the mage took two steps inside the room. "How do you fare today, Commander?" Tia continued to approach the window.

"Oh…Tia." The mage wanted to examine her and comfort her, but Elissa's disappointed tone stung and Tia stiffened.

"My apologies." Tia tipped her head and began to back away. "I will come back later."

"No, please stay!" Elissa's arm jerked up to stop her. "Don't go, Tia. It's just that I've got all this work…and truthfully, I'm just missing Zevran." Elissa smiled, if only to ease the mage's worry.

Moving towards the daybed again, she reached out her hands, and pushed and prodded Elissa's belly to feel the baby. "You made the right decision M'lady. The babe needs a mother who safe and healthy, not battle weary."

Elissa shifted uncomfortably as Tia continued to poke at her. "I know but…the duty was mine to see through and if I had gone...well, it doesn't matter now anyway," said Elissa shaking her head in disgust. Clearing her mind of doubt and speculation, Elissa studied the mage while she worked. "I realize I have never properly thanked you for your help Amaranthine City. I…I know you had no choice but to do what you did while I was their prisoner, but you risked your life to help me in the end. For that, I am eternally grateful, Tia."

"Oh, M'lady, do not thank me. No, it is I who should express thanks." The softness in her expression was not a common occurrence. Most inhabitants of the Keep viewed her as worn out, cranky mage, but Elissa knew better. "I should have done more…I could have done something when you were in that cell, but I was so scared. They had already taken my child away and…" Tia turned and stared out the window, attempting to hide the few tears she allowed herself to shed.

"I do not hold any of your actions against you, Tia. I know what the Crows are and I know how they treat women in their employ. But you found me anyway and your information saved Zevran. I'm sure of it." Elissa held the mage's hand for a moment. "And now you are part our lives. You healed me and comforted me in a way no other could after what they did to me." Elissa frowned and acknowledged a recurring, dark thought. "Sometimes, when everything is still and quiet at night, I can hear Ramon's cruel words…I almost feel him in the room with me…"

"Time, child. It takes time to put your thoughts right after such a violation. But do not shut out the ones who love you and care for your well being. Do not walk this life alone, not when you have another life in your hands." Tia cupped her cheeks, her eyes forcing Elissa to agree.

"I try, Tia, but with Zevran gone, I've no one to see me past these thoughts. Nathaniel wants to help, but I cannot lead him to believe the future holds what he wishes it to."

"Nate is a grown man and he will see what he wants to see. That you cannot alter. The future cares not for our desires and needs. What we choose now, at this moment, is all that matters." The mage's hands moved back to Elissa's belly. "But enough of this depressing talk. Just know M'lady, I too was saved...by you."

Tia's words were so sincere, Elissa began to cry. "Thank you, Tia. You are very kind and very wise."

"Fear not, child. In years to come, all of this will mean nothing. You will see how wise you were to stay behind and I will be here to help your every step." Tia kept her hands on Elissa's stomach, gently massaging the swell. "Soon enough, you will be a mama. Four, maybe six weeks."

"Four weeks?" Elissa moaned. "I hope Zevran returns by then. It's been so long without any word." Elissa couldn't help but weep even more. She cried for the baby, she cried for herself, but most of all, she cried for Zevran.

* * *

On that crisp, autumn day, when everything changed, her companions returned after dispatching The Mother. In his absence, Elissa filled in for Zevran, running sparring demonstrations for the new recruits. Although she did not actually spar herself, the training was still exhilarating, and she reveled in the new skills the men and women acquired. It also helped her to forget.

She heard the cheers for the returning heroes and she ran to the courtyard. In the midst of the excitement, a hand grabbed her and she spun around, eager to see her Antivan. Instead, Anders held her wrist. "Anders, where is Zevran?" she asked, still energized and grinning.

Anders' free hand extended, holding a wrinkled parchment. "This is for you..." He shrunk back but then his words streamed together. "But he wasn't hurt, Elissa. He is alive."

A lump formed in her throat and she swallowed thickly, but it remained and kept her voiceless. She didn't look at Anders as she took the note and walked away from the victory celebration. Careful footsteps led to a quiet patch of grass near the armory. It all made sense now; his many tender embraces in silence, his dull and worried eyes, his fitful sleep. Everything he said and didn't say the night before he left for Dragonbone Wastes.

With trembling hands, she unfolded her future.

_My Beautiful Dove,_

_Forgive me for deceiving you so, but I could not, in good conscience, return to you and our child without settling matters in the Free Marches. If we are to be truly free and to have the life you deserve, I must finish this. I have a solid plan and I intend to see it through and return in time for the arrival of our son or daughter. I will write as safety allows, but do not worry without cause. Focus on your health and that of the little Arainai. I promise to return before you even notice my absence. _

_I love you and you are always in my thoughts and dreams._

_Forever yours,_

_Zevran_

Her tears fell, landing beside older, dried ones. His letter broke her heart in at least four different ways. Where was the trust and honesty he preached of? How could he make promises that were almost impossible to keep? Why wasn't his letter longer? She didn't notice the approach of her friend until he held her shoulders and looked to her for answers. "Liss? What is it? What's wrong?" Nathaniel caught her as her body went limp and he carried her to her chambers, calling for the mage. When she awoke, her companions sat on chairs arranged around the bed and Tia held her hand with protective intentions.

"Is she alright?" asked Anders.

Tia nodded. "She was in shock, but now she is fine. Give her time. Please, everyone should leave the room." The grim mage waved them towards the door.

Elissa spoke up in a low voice. "No…Anders, stay...and Nathaniel…" A somber Anders and Nathaniel moved to sit on either side of her as the others departed. Just as Sigrun was about to exit, Elissa asked, "Sigrun, are you all right?" Sigrun gave her two thumbs-up with a healthy grin and closed the door.

Relieved, Elissa faced Anders. "What else did Zevran say?" Elissa took his hand and squeezed. "Please Anders, I want to hear everything."

"Only that he was not returning with us. No explanation, nothing, and we were not about to press him. It was clear that he was on a mission and not to be trifled with." Anders chin fell to his chest. "I'm sorry. If I had known his intentions-"

"No!" she argued. "It's not your fault, at all," she reassured him and calmly continued. "So tell me, The Mother…a successful kill I assume?"

Anders straightened and stood up proudly. "Yes. It's done and no one was seriously hurt. You should have seen it, Elissa. She had about twenty, you know," he said as his hands moved up and down his chest suggestively. "It was truly disgusting. In any case, I will draft the written account for your review today if you like."

"Broodmothers _are_ quite revolting," Elissa chuckled. "A draft would be great, Anders, and thank you. Job well done, my friend." Elissa sat up and held out her arms to hug him. Anders embraced her affectionately, and when she pulled back still smiling at him, she noticed a spark of guilt in his eyes. "Don't worry about it Anders. This is his doing, and Zevran will be held accountable, I assure you." Anders tipped his head. "Now, would you mind leaving me and Nathaniel alone for a bit?" With a wave, Anders left the room with purpose.

"How are you feeling?" Nathaniel asked, doing a poor job hiding his outrage for Zevran.

Elissa ignored his attitude and his question. "Did Anders tell you anything? It's not that I don't trust him, but…if he's trying to protect me-"

"No. He doesn't know anything, none of them do. Sigrun said Zev spoke very little during the time they fought and even less after they were done." Nathaniel stopped his hands from balling into fists. If he ever saw Zevran again, he would tear him apart.

Elissa sat up, an intense, anger rising in her cheeks. "That bastard! Damn elf has some balls doing this after everything I've said! I can't believe how self-serving and egocentric he is, and here I am, alone and pregnant! What am I to do now? Hm? Tell me, Nathaniel. What?" She almost felt like laughing, her emotions veered so wildly.

"I agree. His leaving you, now, while you're with child? It's deplorable, Liss." Nathaniel identified with her scattered thoughts as he watched her eyes dart about the room. He reeled in his anger and pulled her into a tight embrace, and she weakened in his arms, releasing in the comfort he offered. "Hush, Liss. You'll be fine. I…we will take care of you…as long as you need us to." Nathaniel's hand stroked her hair, feeling her fear as if it were his own.

"I'm frightened for him," she sobbed, saturating his shirt with her worry. A certain dread filled Elissa's heart, a dread she had felt only once before. The night Duncan took her away.

* * *

Time passed with a quiet slowness as the weeks grew colder. Elissa continued to train recruits from a safe distance, and immersed herself in the care and upkeep of the Arling and its people. Gone were the neat braids and shiny armor and weapons that Zevran spoiled her with and in their place, unkempt ponytails, simple clothes and a long bow Nathaniel had given her as a gift. Although her duties satisfied her need to keep busy, the only moments Elissa seemed truly happy were Tia's weekly progress checks and her daily archery lessons with Nathaniel.

As Elissa lay on her bed, Tia performed her usual examination of mother and child. "The babe is healthy enough. He is yet small...only four moons have passed since our return. In the weeks to come, he will grow more powerful," Tia said lifting her hands from Elissa's flanks.

"He? Can you tell?" Elissa asked excited by the notion.

"Oh, no, I did not check for that. It is just habit. Would you like to know?" the mage smirked.

Elissa furrowed her brows. "I think when Zevran returns. It wouldn't be fair if I didn't wait for him to offer his opinion."

"As you wish," Tia nodded. "Should I summon Ser Howe to escort you to dinner?"

Elissa shooed her toward the door. "I can manage, Tia. You go on."

Tia smiled as wide as she could, but she was distressed with Elissa's lack of enthusiasm. Once the mage was gone, Elissa moved to sit by the window, as she did every day, watching the oranges and reds meld together before dark.

Heavy footsteps approached and Elissa opened the door before his hand hit the wood. Nathaniel's friendly smile and piercing eyes held a purpose. "I'm glad you're ready. All those bull's-eyes must have made you quite hungry, right?"

"Don't try to snow me, Nathaniel Howe. Tia sent you, didn't she?" Elissa scoffed. "She treats me like a little girl sometimes."

He, too, was concerned with her almost constant ennui. "She only wants the best for you."

Elissa let out a deep breath. "I know, I know. She can be over protective at times but at least someone is watching out for me."

"I'm watching out for you, too," Nathaniel whispered as his elbow poked her arm. "Come with me. Let's fortify you with some of the finest fare and company in all of Amaranthine." Nathaniel took her hand and led her through the kitchen to the buffet spread in the dining hall. As the aroma of mouth-watering foods wafted past her nose, she realized that she was indeed starving. She loaded her plate with a sample of each dish and sat down next to Nathaniel eating with such gusto, she put the men to shame.

"Maker, Liss. Where does it all go?" he asked jovially.

"Not to my hips, I hope!" She joked and laughed for the first time in weeks. Nathaniel gazed at her, a little too long perhaps, but he was thrilled to see Elissa as he thought she should be, lighthearted and content.

He poured her a glass of apple cider and placed it by her plate. "Drink that. It's good for you and the baby." Elissa smirked at his directive, but drank it down in one never-ending gulp. "You seem in better spirits now that you've eaten some. I was beginning to wonder if you might never show us that lovely smile again."

A pang of guilt played out in her eyes as she rested her hand on his. "Thank you, Nathaniel. You do bring out the best in me sometimes." Nathaniel smiled but remained silent. "So, just how well do you think my training is going? Will the student be a better shot than the teacher?" she teased.

"We'll have to wait and see, won't we?" he asked, feeling a bit smug. "I _am_ an extraordinary instructor, but I have to admit, you are an insanely quick study of all things archery." He drummed his fingers on the table, admiring her arrogance. "However, you are no master archer and I don't think you're ready to best me just yet."

"I will make you eat those words, Nathaniel. And soon, very soon," she said, drawing out the last word.

As they continued to eat and chat, Elissa saw Varel heading to their table with a nervous look about him and her muscles tensed in anticipation. "Sorry to interrupt, Commander, but there is an Antivan Crow outside the gates with a message for you. He will not speak to anyone, only you." A wave of nausea dizzied her and Elissa's dinner almost came up from the adrenaline pulsing in her veins.

"I will go," she stated. "Nathaniel, come with me?" Her eyes pleaded and he tipped his head in accord.

As they approached the gates, the palms of her hands broke in a sweat. She could make out a smooth, Antivan voice similar to the one she longed for. This Crow, however, was a tall human and looked nothing like Zevran. Wavy chestnut hair framed his stubbly and chiseled jaw line, and his eyes were as grey and dark as his murderous soul.

The Crow leered, taking her in from head to toe. "Ah, you are as lovely as he described, Commander."

Inwardly she shuddered, but her approach was direct and confident. "He? Who are you?"

"I work for Master Arainai, and my name…you may call me Tuco. I was sent to give you this." He handed Elissa a small package. "I assure you, it is safe to handle as my employer would gut me if anything were to happen to you in my presence."

He turned to leave and Elissa grabbed his shoulder. "Wait, please! Let me look at this package first and I might have something for you take in return."

He cocked his head and sighed. "Alright, I can wait for a short while, but I must catch a ship sailing tomorrow at dusk." Elissa nodded and headed for a bench in the courtyard.

It was a simple package, wrapped with twine and easy to open, but Elissa hesitated. She held the parcel to her nose and inhaled, but all she smelled was sweat and sea. She freed the twine and the paper unfolded itself to reveal a letter and a small, red velvet pouch. Elissa recognized Zevran's handwriting in an instant and relief washed away several unpleasant thoughts.

_Querida Elissa,_

_I am sorry for the delay in writing, but I have been so very busy. My strategy is going well enough and I hope to return to you soon. Good news! Antonio is no longer with us and his Master, Ponifico, has met a similar fate. I am in Antiva now and will contact you as soon as things are less complicated. My man, Tuco, has sworn to serve me. He is my right-hand and I trust him with my life. Do you find him handsome? He has a swarthiness about him, like a pirate, no?_

_Mi amor, how easily I have slipped back into speaking only Antivan. However, I am confident the lessons I gave you will aid in your translation of my words. Te quiero con todo mi corazón, I love you with all my heart. Ah, but that was too easy! Try this: Cada día que pasos es una eternidad sin usted por mi lado y cuando vuelvo bailaremos por la luz de la luna._

_Tell the baby that I love him, or her, and that I am anxious to return to my family. Smile for me, Elissa. I do not want you to mope about the Keep in despair. That is an order you must obey!_

_Until I see you again, please enjoy the 'prendas de amor', tokens of love, which I have enclosed. I think you will like them._

_Ever yours,_

_Zevran_

He had taught her well and she understood every word. "Each day that passes is an eternity without you by my side and when I return we will dance by the light of the moon." Again, she placed the letter to her nose and this time a faint scent of bay leaves reached her brain and triggered a woeful sob. "Zevran, my love, I miss you," she whispered.

Elissa fumbled with the pouch and emptied the contents onto her palm. Two items lay in her hand: An earring in the shape of a dove with a sapphire eye, and a silver ring with a much larger, square blue gem accented by two sparkling diamonds. "Your eyes glow like the finest of sapphires," he had told her many times. With the earring pushed through her lobe and the ring slipped on, she rushed to the throne room to compose a return letter.

_My dearest lover,_

_Zevran, I write this in haste, as your courier needs to leave for the city. I know my handwriting is awful and that it will make you crazy as you read this, but do try to muddle through it. You think your Tuco is handsome, do you? I think the Antivan sun has scorched your brain and your eyesight is failing you. He is rather sleazy, in my estimation. But don't let my opinion stop you from doing whatever you fancy._

_Imagine I have just slapped your face. You son of a bitch! How could you do this? I am so furious with you and wish you had talked to me first! I understand why you left, but I hate you for it. You hurt me deeply, Zevran. In fact, you broke my heart and you will have to work incredibly hard to mend it when you return. _

_However, I do have complete and utter faith in you and your skills and I know that you will succeed. If I had to raise our child without you, I would be sorely put out. Please, don't let me down Zevran._

_Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I do adore the ring and the earring. Truly, I do. You always know what I desire. Tuco called you Master Arainai, so I guess you are making progress. I have to admit that I am happy to hear of the unfortunate ending for certain parties. Do me a favor. Please look into the whereabouts of Tia's son. The Crows took him and I expect he is about nine years now. I would be very pleased if we could reunite them._

_I have no gift to send, but when you return, we __will__ dance under the moon, that is after you've taught me how to dance properly. I knew I should have paid attention during those parties when I was younger. I want to feel you, and kiss you, and hear you whisper in my ear. Our child thrives, Zevran. It too, wants you here with us. Be careful and write more if you are able. May the Maker keep you safe. Te amo, Zevran, más que la vida misma. _

_Hurry home. I miss you. I love you._

_Elissa_

She folded the note, sealed it with wax, and stamped it with the Grey Warden emblem. Moving as fast as she could without running, Elissa arrived at the gates and handed her letter to the Crow.

Unemotional, she stood face to face with the man. "Can you tell me how your Master is getting along?"

He scowled and looked her straight in the eye. "I was instructed to deliver the package, not to engage in casual conversations."

She softened her gaze. "Please, can you tell me…anything? Surely, your Master will not frown upon you for answering _my_ questions. I understand you are close to him and that he trusts you."

His eyes narrowed in thought. "Master Arainai has been successful in his latest endeavors. He wished me to remember everything I saw here, everything about you," he said, methodical and cold.

"Then he is healthy and unharmed?" she asked with anticipation.

"Yes, he quite fit. Barely a scratch on his bronzed body," Tuco said with admiration, as if he had seen more of Zevran than Elissa cared to imagine. "I take care for him, protect him, you see. Do you have a message?"

"Yes, please tell him…tell him the child is due by Satinalia and…" She could say no more. The Crow nodded and disappeared into the forest. Elissa wasn't sure what to make of Tuco, the letter, or Zevran, but she was comforted knowing that Zevran was moving forward with his takeover.

Nathaniel turned to face Elissa, pointing his jaw to a more private location. "Come with me, Liss." He led her just past the gates and stopped. "I know you don't want to hear this, but Zev...Zev is trying to take over the entire House of Crows in Antiva! Is he that insane?"

Elissa laughed at Nathaniel's naiveté. "Of course he's that insane. I know what he intends, Nathaniel, and I know the risk, but he is doing this so we can be free of them. If he succeeds, then we can have a life without looking over our shoulders. And if he fails…" she sighed, "well…then, I will be alone." Elissa braced her shoulders and stood confident. "But he will not fail, I am positively certain!"


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

It was six weeks until Satinalia, six weeks until the birth of an unblemished life, and twelve weeks since Elissa last heard from Zevran. With her head resting on one hand, Elissa casually stabbed her fork at the venison stew and pondered her loneliness. She thought of Sigrun and Justice leaving to fulfill their destinies and Velanna just up and disappearing one day. _How lucky they are,_ _to be free_, she thought.

A conversation in a distant corner drew her attention and Nathaniel, Anders, and Tia stared in her direction. Their hands waved in every direction and each wore a facial expression that Elissa could only categorize as fretful. She dropped her fork into the bowl and headed for the exit. As she walked, cautious and swollen with pregnancy, she could hear her friends' attempts to stop her, but she ignored their pleas. Nathaniel bolted after her.

She met the Crow at the gate and he appeared leaner, more battle weary since last they met. He held out the letter, and she snatched it away, grabbing his arm reflexively. "Wait! I have questions!"

"I must return to him." Tuco yanked his arm free of her grip. "He needs me!"

"Why? Tell me what's happened!" Tuco backed away and moved his head back and forth in deliberate and slow movements before turning to run.

Elissa's firm hold on Nathaniel's arm prevented him from chasing after the Crow. "No. It's not worth the risk," she said. "Stay here…with me." Nathaniel muttered in agreement and she let him go. Beads of sweat dripped down her temple as she opened the letter. The writing was neat and precise, too precise. An uneasy feeling fluttered in her stomach and Elissa steadied herself on the gate.

_My Beautiful Elissa,_

_If you are reading this, my plans have not progressed as I had hoped. I have put all that I am into this mission but I am unable to return at present. It pains me to write this but if I am not back at the Keep in three months time, then I have failed. Please, do not despise me for trying to make a more secure life for us. I only ask you to be happy, Elissa, to move on and find a suitable husband and father for our child. _

_You deserve much more than I have been able to give you, and yet you have been so generous in your actions and your love for me. When you spared my life that glorious day, I did not think I would change that which was in my head and my heart, or that you would restore my life and save me from corruption and selfishness. It is all because of you and your deeds that I am a better man. I am a man who was loved by a beautiful goddess, a man who loved a woman so pure and so honorable, he still does not believe his good fortune. _

_Do not dwell on what could have been. I will forever be by your side, silently guiding you and we will find each other again, my dove, have no doubt._

_Until that day comes, I am forever bound to your soul. I love you Elissa, and I am eternally yours._

_Zevran_

Elissa grimaced and handed the letter Nathaniel. As he read, his breaths grew agitated but Elissa held onto her fragile composure, folding her arms across her chest and tapping her foot. "This can't be true, you know. It _must_ be a deception. I would know if something happened to him…I would feel it in my bones," she said with conviction.

Nathaniel narrowed his eyes in sympathy. "Liss, I don't know what to say. I...I'm sorry-"

"No! He is not dead! It might not be going well now, but it's not over!"

"Liss, he's in trouble…he may not make it out alive."

Elissa paced, wringing her hands and mumbling to herself. She became unhinged before his eyes and he was powerless. Engulfing her in his arms, he rocked her like a hurt child, but Elissa threw him off frustrated by his lack of insight.

"I don't believe it! There must be another explanation. Maybe he wants them to _think_ he's failing…if they saw his courier so worn out, they would think that he was injured somewhere, that he had planned poorly, or maybe…I don't know! It must be a ruse. Yes, that would be just like Zevran," Elissa laughed nervously. "I know him, Nathaniel. He never quits, never fails! Never!" She ripped the letter from his hand and stormed off.

Over the course of the next hour, Nathaniel followed her, keeping a respectful distance as she walked the grounds aimless. In time, she climbed the stairs and entered her chambers leaving the door ajar.

Elissa sat on the daybed clutching Zevran's letter and watching the colors of twilight dance across the sky. She stroked the ring on her finger before moving her eyes to the parchment. Elissa read the letter over and over, until it held nothing but wet, flowing lines and splotches that dissolved his words. Deep within her soul, she felt hope fading, like a punch in the gut forcing all the air out of her lungs, strangling her as she descended into the unforgiving darkness.

Nathaniel walked in with just enough sound to make his presence known. He sat next to her and offered solace. "Talk to me, Liss. I want to help you," he said entwining his fingers with hers.

She dried her eyes with her sleeve and held his hand tightly. "We were invincible, you know? So reckless at times, and he was so daring and arrogant. Every corner we turned held certain death and we stared it down, every time. We laughed at danger. It never crossed my mind that one of us would…I always thought that, somehow, we would make it to the end. I see how stupid and foolish I've been, how foolish I _am_." Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen and her head dropped into her hands. "How could this happen?"she moaned. "I betrayed Alistair, betrayed Ferelden. Countless innocents have died by my hands. Surely, this is my punishment."

"Don't say that! You and only you made all the tough decisions and those choices saved us all, they _saved_ Ferelden." Nathaniel's thumb caressed the back of her hand and he sighed. "As much as I hate to say it, you love him because he _is_ so bold, so exciting and dangerous."

"Do I?" She considered his assessment. "I suppose I do. Constantly he told me 'death happens', and I would argue 'but not for us, Zevran'." Elissa pressed the letter to her heart. "I _should_ have listened to him. I _should_ have believed him. Then this wouldn't be so…so overwhelming." Her hand rested on her swollen stomach and her finger traced tiny heart shapes. "And now, my child may never know his father."

With no tears left to shed, she placed a kiss on her finger, and pressed it her stomach. "I will keep you safe, little one, and I will adore you with the same love and devotion that your father has given me."

Elissa tipped her head back and closed her eyes. She imagined Zevran grinning as he fought beside her, taunting the enemy with his acid tongue, daggers slicing at blinding speeds, and she drew strength from this vision of his lust for life, and she embraced the pain. She vowed to live in the moment, to raise their child in his image, carefree and strong, tomorrow and beyond, until the day he returned to her and held her again.

* * *

With only a week left before Satinalia, Elissa put all her energy into preparing for the birth of her baby. She ate at regular intervals, rested every few hours, and drank more liquids than anyone thought possible to consume. She had commissioned Wade and Herren to challenge themselves by building a cradle of ironbark. She also engaged artisans to paint the walls of the nursery with scenes from the Brecilian Forest centering on the Dalish Camp. Her requirements were very specific: elven ruins, birds, hallas, bears, wolves, wild sylvans, the Grand Oak, and many, many flowers. Everyone would know that her child was half elven and part Dalish.

"They are a proud people, those who refuse to bow to defeat," Zevran had told her. She also recalled him saying, "A forest like this just seems so very... filthy." She never believed he meant it though, and she was sure he would approve of the décor.

Elissa was quiet and reflective, and took a short walk at sunset, praying for the life that she and Zevran had created. When she returned, she sought out Nathaniel, whom she found reading history books in his room.

Nathaniel accompanied Elissa to her chambers to discuss Grey Warden business. "So, do you think you'd like that? I truly believe you will make a very fine and commanding…Commander!" Elissa quipped, as she rested against the headboard of her bed.

Nathaniel's eyes lit up and he laughed. "I'm glad you have such faith in me but what about everyone else? I am a Howe, after all."

She brushed a few stray hairs from her face and smiled. "You have proven yourself to these people ten-fold, Nathaniel. No one will question my appointment of you to Warden Commander. Besides, I'll be here to help. Remember, my loyal subject, you are speaking to the current Arlessa of Amaranthine."

"So sorry, I almost forgot, Milady." Nathaniel bowed before her and grinned. "You won't be busy enough with a newborn that you'll have to school me in all the knowledge I currently lack?" he asked, settling himself on the edge of the bed.

Elissa moved her hand to his cheek without thinking. "I have more confidence in you than I _ever_ had in myself. You're perfect…for the job! I meant perfect for the job!" she said, flustered and blushing.

His eyes held an expression of love she hadn't seen since Zevran last looked at her that way. "_You_ are perfect." He placed his hand on her belly just as the baby kicked. "Oh! Maker, that's a bizarre sensation!" They exchanged warm smiles and then Nathaniel grew serious. "If only this child were mine…I wish it were so, Liss, and I'm not ashamed to admit it."

"Nathaniel, please don't. I…It's my fault." Her eyes narrowed and she laid her hand on top of his. "I'm sorry, but Zevran _will_ be back and we _will_ be a family. I should never have let our friendship get so confusing and…misleading."

"I knew what I was getting into all along and I am _not_ confused. I'd like to think that you would consider me if Zev-"

Elissa put up her hand and stopped his thought from finishing. "You have been my rock, Nathaniel. You are my most trusted and dear friend and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."

"I don't care if it hurts..." His face inched closed, his breath hot on her cheek. "Kiss me, Elissa Cousland. Kiss me…once more."

His hunger for her was hypnotic and Elissa froze, letting his tongue sweep across her lips, and she opened her mouth just enough to receive his kiss. She did her best to process the intense emotions swirling inside of her as he put his arm around her possessively, and she let her own arms encircle his neck. How she missed it all, the sensuality, the desire, the strength in a man's touch. Elissa lost herself in his embrace, in the blazing passion that he had held at bay for so long.

Her senses were assaulted and alive with a reckless passion that rippled through her body and her skin tingled with pleasure. His hands moved to hold her face and she let him continue to kiss her, to touch her. His fingers slid across her shoulders and down her back, pulling her closer still. Her fingers were in his hair, tugging and stroking and her tongue tasted him, encouraged him, until she fell back on the bed, luring him down with her, never breaking the kiss.

Nathaniel was lying beside her and he slid his hand under her blouse and over the swell of her belly to caress her breast with a trembling hand. She moaned into his mouth as a pleasant shiver ran down her spine. Their lips never parted, save for a quick breath, and Elissa's hand pulled at his breeches, feeling the skin on his stomach pressing against her fingers. She let her hands trace their way under his shirt to touch his firm chest as his fingers danced from one mound to the other, gently squeezing. She reached around his chest and hugged him tightly, and for a moment, she felt as if she was in Zevran's arms again, and the guilt registered in her brain like a lightning strike.

Her hand jerked away from his body. "No, Nathaniel, we musn't…I…I feel dizzy…and Zevran…I can't do this!"

"Zev is not here, Liss_. I am_," he whispered hotly, running his tongue across the nape of her neck.

Elissa pushed him back further and sat up, ill at ease. "No, please. I love Zevran! I cannot betray him again, not when I know he yet lives!"

"I should think not!" shouted a familiar voice in the doorway. Nathaniel's jaw dropped and Elissa's heart raced, as she tried, not so gracefully, to scurry off the bed.

"Zevran!" Elissa threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. "I knew you'd come back," she whimpered, squeezing him so tightly that the baby protested with several sharp kicks.

"Careful, amor, you are squashing our baby," he laughed, taking her face in his hands. "Such a sight for these sore eyes, my beauty."

Elissa was sobbing, her pent-up fears overwhelming her, but his body fully engulfed hers, albeit awkwardly, and her whole body sang with joy. She had never felt so happy, so loved, and so safe as she did in that moment. "Oh, Zevran. I…it's almost unreal. Maker, I've missed you so..."

Zevran's eyes filled with a deep tenderness, and he could feel the tears building. "And I have missed you, my love." His whole body vibrated with a mix of anger and elation, guilt and understanding. He swept back a few stray locks of her hair and finally captured her lips in a long awaited kiss.

Enraged and ignored by the reunited couple, Nathaniel moved towards the door. "Well, isn't this so convenient for you, Arainai. You show up now, after we've all taken care of Elissa while you were off playing the Crow Master and murdering Maker knows how many people!"

"Please, Nathaniel. Not now," Elissa said, attempting to diffuse the angry energy flowing between the two men. "We'll speak later."

Worry spread across her face and she glanced at Zevran. "And I thank you for your efforts, Nate. I can see that _my_ Elissa is in fine physical condition." Zevran held the door open. "Now, if you don't mind, we have some catching up to do." Elissa was not happy with Zevran's spiteful tone, but held her tongue.

Nathaniel leaned towards Zevran, speaking into his ear. "We will finish this conversation another time, alone, in the courtyard," he said in a low, menacing tone.

Zevran raised an eyebrow. "O-ho! Are you challenging me to a duel, Nate?" Zevran smirked, mocking the contest that Nathaniel threw down before him.

Nathaniel turned to Elissa and every ounce of his self-control was written on his face. "Goodbye, Liss," he said in a tight voice. He gazed at her with a flicker of sadness in his eye, or jealousy, maybe both. Elissa wasn't sure, but she felt guilty either way and Nathaniel turned on his heel and left.

Zevran slammed the door shut behind him and Elissa blew out a long-held breath. "That wasn't how I had hoped things would go, Zevran."

Zevran shrugged his shoulders and wrapped his arms around her. "I am sorry, but you are mine and mine alone. I want that to be very clear to him especially after what has passed between you both. _We_ are to have a child and a life together. End of story," he declared.

"Um, yes, but…how long were you standing in the doorway?" she asked sheepishly.

Zevran shook his head. "No, no. I promise, later we will talk of things that have kept us both busy these last months. For now, come with me …" He took her hand and led her to the bed, sensing that Elissa felt a little apprehensive.

He took her hand and pressed it against his chest. "Allow me to apologize for leaving you as I did. It suffices to say that we are now free of the Crows for good, but that is a long story for another time. Let us to get reacquainted, yes?" He ran his finger across her lips and her tongue darted out to lick him.

"Yes, I agree. But, just tell me…who is in charge in Antiva?"

"Tuco. He is the new Master in Antiva."

"I see. Later then…" Elissa smiled and kissed him hard to silence them both. She abandoned his mouth in favor of assaulting his neck with a feverish intensity. Her hands roamed over his body and she pulled his shirt out of his breeches and touched his sun-kissed skin and his hard muscles. She kissed his jaw line and his neck, and took the tip of his ear into her mouth, nibbling and sucking, all the while wondering if it was a dream.

Zevran was overwhelmed with his own emotion, and he pinned her to the bed, pressing his lips onto hers. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply, frantic to breathe in her scent, the lavender aroma he longed for. He smoothed his hand up her thigh and she shivered as he slid his hands along her waist and slipped his arm under her back. He placed a firm hand on her bottom and pulled her closer.

A shiver worked its way down her spine when his breath hit her neck. "It felt like this day would never arrive," she murmured into his skin.

"You are beautiful, so beautiful," he whispered, nipping her earlobe. "I have dreamt of this moment, and it is even better than my fantasy. Te amo, I love you," he said as his warm, sweet breath blew across her ear.

"I love you, too. I love you," Elissa moaned again and again until all at once, her body convulsed and she pulled away from him. "Stop…stop! Zevran, stop. Something is hap-" Her eyes glazed over and Zevran jumped from the bed.

"What? Is that what I think it is?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

"Sweet Andraste, my water broke!" she shouted, shifting to the edge of the bed. "I'm…ahhhh I…ahhh…oh, Maker!" Elissa bent over and clutched her abdomen.

"Breath, Elissa, breath. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? Brasca! I will get the mage, yes? After this one is over! Ah, what can I do?" After doubling over for a minute, Elissa straightened up, panting.

"Well…that was…very painful," she said flatly while eyeing him. "I should have seen this coming, but I thought what I was experiencing today were just normal aches and pains of pregnancy!"

"So you are in labor then? What does that mean? Is the baby coming out now?" he asked, panicking at the thought of delivering his own baby.

"No, Zevran." She laughed at her normally well-composed lover. "Don't you know how this works? This is only the beginning…I think." She grabbed him by the hand, suddenly scared out of her wits." Don't leave me, Zevran."

"Never again. I will stay at your side the entire time." His hand cupped her cheek and reassured her.

"Good, but I should think Tia might have another opinion on that."

"True, but I doubt Tia will give me any trouble after today," he said smugly.

"Oh? Oh! Zevran, did you find him? Tell me!"

Zevran's bright and haughty grin answered her question.

* * *

Oghren passed out next to the keg, Anders paced as if _he_ was the expectant father and Nathaniel disappeared from the throne room all together. As the sun came up, Tia assured Anders that his magic would not be necessary for such a natural thing as childbirth. She delivered countless babies and was certain this was no different from any other delivery. Elissa wasn't so sure.

Her shouts echoed throughout the Keep and Zevran thought it wise to amuse Elissa with tales of his exploits in an attempt to distract her. "…and that is when the bastard lost his head! You should have seen me covered in blood and gore. It was quite horrifying. Ach, just thinking about it makes me want a bath!"

"Great story," Elissa said unimpressed. "Why won't this baby come out? Cast a spell! I need it…for the pain!" Sweat dripped down her cheek and Zevran dabbed her forehead with a dry cloth. "It's been hours and hours and I'm exhausted!"

Tia's hands moved along her stomach, pushing down on specific locations. "Patience, child. No spells. You are close to the end now." To hasten the process, Tia rubbed her belly with a special ointment.

Zevran readied for the oncoming contraction. "Okay, amor, breathes on my count. One…two…three…" The last several hours had been nothing but Zevran counting, and Elissa breathing and shouting expletives.

The balm worked well, and the contractions increased in frequency. Elissa barked a string of curses and commands as loud as anyone had ever heard from her. "Ahhhhh! Andraste's ass, Tia! Get it out! Blast it Zevran, not there! My eyes, for Maker's sake! Get the hair out of my face!" Zevran had grown unusually quiet and he was somewhat disturbed by the whole process, but he tried his best to keep his anxiety to himself.

Tia shook her head. "He should not be here M'lady. It is not fitting to have a man present."

"Tia, just tell him what to do! Maker's breath, don't sass me now woman!" Elissa twisted her head sideways. "Tell her, Zevran!"

The mage smiled and turned to Zevran, who had apparently lost the ability to speak. "Tsk, tsk. Stand and stretch your legs, Ser Arainai, and get some food over there. We have a little time yet and you will need your strength for the last bit."

"I will be right over there." Elissa nodded and Zevran stood, afraid to say anything more to Elissa or the mage. This was the side of his Warden that he didn't miss so much while he was away.

The contractions were coming closer and the frustration and pain nearly turned Elissa inside out. "You…smarmy…lousy excuse for an assassin! Gahhh! This is your fault, elf!" Elissa's face scrunched. "Bloody Antivan!"

"Now, now, no need for slanderous name calling and insults, amor." Zevran resumed his position behind Elissa supporting her back to keep her upright.

"Push, M'Lady! Push now! Now…harder! I can see the head!" Despite his exhaustion and nervousness, Zevran wore a grin the size of a melon. Tia continued to shout commands. "Again! One more push…...and yes, there it is! Just a bit more…push with all your might!"

"Maker's balls!" Elissa yelled and then she heard the squelching, wet sound of her baby coming out, and at that moment, she felt infinitely lighter, but still angrier than a hornet. "Damn and blast it all!"

"You did it, the babe is born!" Tia yelled over Elissa's rant.

Elissa looked at Tia, confused. "What? Where? Show me!" The mage had already tied off the umbilical cord and helped the baby take its first breath. Elissa's eyes followed the baby as Tia handed it to the mid-wife for a quick bath in warm water filled with rose petals. At hearing the shrill, earsplitting cries of the newborn, she said a silent prayer of thanks.

Zevran nearly dropped Elissa back onto the bed as he rushed over to the mid-wife to take his now clean baby in his arms. Elissa's mouth opened but not a word came out; the sight of the man she adored with their newborn daughter rendered her speechless.

The proud father sat next to his love, who had propped herself up on her elbows. He held the child snuggly in his arms and faced the infant towards Elissa. "Look at our beautiful baby, my dove; it is a girl…a little girl." Softly and sweetly, Zevran cooed at his daughter. "As beautiful as your mother, my little one." She sat up, and he handed the child to Elissa.

"You must name her now," Tia said superstitiously. "Do not wait."

Zevran raised his brows and cocked his head. Elissa nodded her approval and he announced the baby's name. "Welcome to this world, Catalina Sylaise Arainai."

She stared at the newborn in her arms and the slightest of smiles formed on Elissa's lips. "She is ours, Zevran. Our precious Catalina…our miracle."

_**A/N:**__ And, there ya go Biff! Aw, daddy Zevran. So, I've given birth a few times and this is what I remember most during labor - my husband was trying to comfort me and I told him to shut up and sit down. Oh well. As always, thank you __to everyone reading/reviewing/alerting/faving. Next up – Nathaniel is on the warpath and Tia gets a bit tipsy. _

_As I near the end of this tale, allow me to acknowledge some mighty fine DA authors (and you should check out their awesome fics!) who have commented along the way: __Biff McLaughlin, Servatia, Eva Galana, Kismet76, voltagelisa, jen4306, Decantate, Zaretia, and galesong1234._

_Also, some of those who have been so kind as to alert: CynderJenn,TMcGeeSDCA, mnomaha, Sam What, PrincessPeachPie, Ashitaba82, dazzleday, Liagaela, AveyTare, ssrobajo, maha9957, Megan2468, Erim-Karamori, Ancoliannie, Harmakhis,and BlaBlah333. But, I'm not done with my thanks yet…Next chapter. Considering I'm new to the fanfic thing, you have all made me so very giddy, and I thank you._


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Zevran tilted his head and closely examined the wall painting in the nursery. "Hm, very talented artists," he mused. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Elissa. "I am happy to see that you are feeling better, my dove. More…spunky, yes?"

"Just answer me, Zevran." Three-day old Catalina was sated after nursing and Elissa placed her in the cradle. She spun around to face Zevran, hands on her hips, eyebrows raised, and impatience oozing.

"Are you sure you wish to talk about this?"

"I wouldn't have asked! Did you, or did you not, have sex with Tuco?"

Zevran sighed, quite dramatically, and flopped onto a nearby sofa. "My dear, every one of my actions held a purpose. You know how I operate. I needed a confidant, an associate who would be completely beholden to me. The only way I could make that happen was to let everyone, including Tuco, believe we were together."

"So, everyone saw you as a couple then? You let everyone think you were in love with each other?" she barked.

"Yes, I suppose we did. But, of course I was not in love with him."

"Clearly, he loved you, and he wouldn't have loved you without any intimacy between you! You screwed him, didn't you?"

"Elissa," he began in an overly patient voice, "it was just sex in its most elementary form."

"He was in love with you! I can't even understand why he remained in Antiva after you left!" She stood next to him, staring intently. "What did you tell him?"

"The truth. " Zevran was annoyed with her questioning and he stood up, if only to have room enough to wave his arms about. "He craved the power that being a Crow Master offered, and he knew I could not return his feelings of love. In the end, he understood. I was _never_ dishonest with him."

She clenched her jaw. "But, you slept with him, repeatedly! Don't tell me it meant nothing to you!"

"I _am_ telling you it meant nothing. It was a means to an end, and that is all."

"So, you never enjoyed it? I find that hard to believe, Zevran," she said in a hardened tone.

"Brasca, you are so persistent!" Zevran was unsure whether to be angry or amused by her unease. "Yes, on occasion, I did enjoy it, but it was purely a physical enjoyment, a tension release, if you will. My heart was always with you, amor. Surely, you do not doubt me?"

"Maker's breath, Zevran, I know you love me, but I had _hoped_ you weren't intimate …when I saw his face as he spoke of you…I just…I can't help but feel angry!"

"I think jealousy is what you are feeling, and there is nothing to be jealous of. If anyone is to be envious, it is I! You and Nate were quite cozy when I arrived."

"I didn't have sex with him!" she shot back.

"Maybe not, but you appeared to be very close to letting yourself give in before you pushed him away."

"So you stood in the doorway and enjoyed the show, did you? Nathaniel was there for me the entire time you were gone. If he hadn't helped me…I don't know that I would have come through as well as I did. I owe him, we both do."

"I owe him nothing! Every hypocritical word from his lips, every move he made, was done only to steal you out from under me! He has manipulated you, Elissa."

"You trusted him with my life last year!" She pulled her hand back and struck, leaving a crimson handprint on his cheek. "_That_ is for leaving me _and_ for insinuating that I am easily manipulated!"

He held his hand to his cheek. "I suppose I deserved that." Somehow, her slap released a small amount of his guilt. "You know I had no choice but to trust him at the time."

"We go back a long way, to childhood. Nathaniel is a good, honorable man. He has never been dishonest with me, unlike some!"

"O-ho! I have been dishonest, have I?"

"Of course you have! You left without a word, I knew _nothing_ of what you were doing, _and_ you carried on with another man! I was left with only my imagination, and I'm sure it was spot-on."

He threw up his hands. "We have been over this, Elissa. I did what I had to do. For you…for us, and our child. It was not dishonesty. It was survival. And now you hold this against me?"

"And what of your ties to them now? Surely they are not completely severed."

"Tuco is indebted to me, of course, and because of that, we will have plenty of coin to live our days in comfort. _He_ is the only tie and it is strictly monetary."

She eyed him. "Coin? How much coin?"

"I knew the money would interest you," he said openly. "A sufficient amount, Elissa. A percentage of all his revenue comes to me. At least for as long as he lives, and I should think that will be long enough." He cupped her cheek and softened his demeanor. "Besides, I am a much feared man, and that will keep them out of our hair."

"Trying to win me over with money? You're despicable, you know that?" She relented, too drained to be mad at him. "I despise you," she mumbled as she walked towards the cradle to peek at their sleeping daughter.

"I think not, amor." He followed her and put his arm around her waist as they watched Catalina sleep, both new parents wearing identical grins.

She entwined her fingers with his and admired his beautiful features. "It was _you_, Zevran, I was thinking of _you_ when I was in his arms, and as you saw, I did push him away."

"Yes, you did," he sighed. "You are my life, you and Catalina. I will not apologize for wanting a full life and a future with you…unafraid of Crow assassins preying on us." He could feel her mood lighten as she held his hands. "I understand why this angers you, but you _do_ _know_ that I have always loved you, and only you."

She smiled, judging the sincerity of his words. "Yes, damn you, I know." Elissa turned her eyes away. "So tell me…is it as good? I mean, it had been a while since you were with a man…"

He smiled, indulgently. "Does this sort of talk arouse you?" His hand slid down past her stomach and playfully touched her.

"Stop that." Elissa pushed his hand away in a weak attempt to hide her curiosity. "I…don't know...I guess, maybe…but, even if it did, we can't have sex for another day or so, and no, I don't care to discuss it," she said, her embarrassment giving rise to false bravado.

"I see you are uncomfortable with your own question." Zevran's hands slid to either side of her buttocks and took hold forcefully. "I much prefer your sexy parts to his, but I can illustrate later, if you wish."

"I'll bet." She winked and pressed her face into his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a strong squeeze.

"Now," he pulled back from their embrace, "I have a surprise for you."

"Oh? More bribery?" she asked, idly stroking his hair.

"Stop arguing with me and you will see!" He ravaged her lips again, unable to satisfy his hunger.

"But the baby…" She muttered into his mouth.

"I have arranged for Tia to watch her. Come…"

He took her hand and led her out of the nursery, and Tia slipped into the room, grinning. They continued down the stairs, and through a rear exit to a grassy yard behind the Keep, stopping just outside the doorway. "Since I cannot do that which I _long_ to do to you, I hope this is a pleasing substitute tonight."

The sun had long since set and it was a cool, moon lit night. The soft glow from dozens of candles arranged in a circle caught her eye. "What is all that about?"

"You do remember your promise to dance under the stars, yes? Well, now it is time for us to do just that." They stepped into the moonlight, a silvery glow resting on their golden heads.

Hand in hand, they walked into the candlelit ring. "Mind your dress. I do not want you to catch fire amidst all this romance." Zevran grinned and faced Elissa, standing offset with his right foot inside both of her feet. He gently pulled her close to him, putting one hand on the small of her back, and taking her other hand in his own.

"Allow me to lead. It is a bit like sparring…only without the injuries…mirror my movements, amor."

"Alright, but how can we dance without music?"

"Ah, now that is an excellent question." He released his hold on her and clapped his hands twice. Two minstrels strolled out of the darkness and began to play; one strummed a lute, and the other played an ocarina. "Now, where were we? Ah, yes," he whispered and reassumed his position.

"I had forgotten how romantic you can be," she said softly.

"Do not say such things. It will ruin my reputation as a ruthless assassin." His eyes twinkled with delight and he moved his mouth to her ear. "You, my love, are so beautiful, so breathtaking." Her heart immediately swelled and then she heard something she had never heard before; Zevran began to sing. His voice was sweet and sultry as he hummed against her cheek.

_Te busque de bajo de las piedras y no te-encontre  
En la mañana fria y en la noche te-busque  
Hasta enloquecer_

Together, their bodies swayed, and she was held spellbound by his voice.

_Pero tu llegaste a mi vida como una luz  
Sanando las heridas de mi Corazon, Haciendo me-sentir vivo otra vez_

"Zevran, I didn't know you sang so well," she whispered against his lips, smitten with him all over again. "Oh, and wouldn't Catalina love a lullaby sung to her by her papa?"

"Yes, I know many lullabies. But, this is one talent I would like to keep in the family."

"I won't give away your secret talent, but tell me…what is the translation of that song?"

Amber pierced her fluttering sapphire eyes and he took hold of her face, his fingers tangled in her hair. "I looked for you, under the stones, and I did not find you in the cold morning and the night, I looked for you until I went crazy. But you walked into my life like a light, healing the scars of my heart, making me feel alive again."

Flooded with emotion, she gazed at the sheer radiance of him and tears began to glisten in her eyes. "Oh, that's lovely…I'm…overwhelmed…it reminds me of our early days together."

A grin tugged on the corners of his lips and he held her closer. "Yes, that is why I chose this song for you."

"I love it, Zevran…I love you."

She melted in his arms and into the rhythm of the dance, careful not to break the silence of their intimacy. As the music seeped into their muscles, allowing their movement to flow out, Zevran twirled her and dipped her, and she giggled for him.

When he pulled her up, she opened her eyes and he recaptured her mouth in a fierce kiss. His hand slowly smoothed across her chest, and he bent his head to her breast. She gasped as his hand exposed her bosom and his mouth sank into her flesh.

Looking down, she found herself aroused by the sight of his head against her breast. The feel of his breath sent dizzying waves of want through her body, settling into the pit of her stomach and between her unsteady legs. Each gentle stroke of his tongue across her skin elicited a moan of desire.

Her hands roamed the contours of his body, across his broad shoulders, the muscles of his back, and his firm bottom. They were memorable, inviting, and comforting, and she yearned for more.

Nearly breathless, Zevran paused, still fondling her, and lifted his head to meet her gaze. "Marry me?"

"I already said I would," she panted.

Two fingers rolled and pinched her nipple and a girlish squeak surprised him. "Mm, you like that, yes? Isabela will be in Amaranthine in eight weeks time. Shall I send word that we are in need of her services?"

The heady pleasure of his touch weakened her and words became difficult to form. "…Oh, yes…I like that…and, yes…send word."

"As I assumed…I have already spoken with her," he admitted.

"I figured as much." She traced a finger down his cheek and smiled.

Her assassin adored her, hungered after her, and he had awakened emotions and desires in her that she never knew she possessed. This was her home, with him and their daughter. No matter what land they walked or where their house stood, _they_ were her home. It was paradise, and she was content.

* * *

_To the King and Queen of Ferelden,_

_I hope this letter finds you both safe and well. I write to inform you that I will be resigning from my position as the Commander of the Grey Wardens and that Nathaniel Howe will be taking my place. In addition, I will be relinquishing the title of Arlessa of Amaranthine to Habren Bryland, the daughter of Leonas Bryland, the current Arl of South Reach, if you are amenable._

_I believe I have served the people of Amaranthine and Ferelden well, and that it is time for new leadership to care for our lands. My family and I will be moving away from Amaranthine for a destination yet unknown._

_Fondly,_

_Elissa Cousland, Commander of the Grey_

She pushed her chair back and stood, handing Zevran the letter. "So? Straight to the point, right?"

He skimmed through the words and pride warmed over his skin. "Yes." Zevran raised an eyebrow. "And if they come to wish you well in person?"

"Ha! Never, Zevran. He hates me. I'm sure he'll be jumping for joy when he reads this. Besides, we'll be gone in a few weeks."

"I hope you are right, amor," he said skeptically. She shrugged and pecked him on the cheek.

* * *

"Let's get to the throne room. Tia is waiting for us with Catalina, and as the guest of honor, I shouldn't be late."

"The party can wait," he said massaging her shoulders. His hands drew her dress down to her elbows, exposing her full bosom. "Soon enough, we will be a boring married couple waiting for grandchildren. We should take advantage of this time alone, while we are still shameless sinners." He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a slow, erotic kiss.

Her eyebrows rose. "A quickie then?"

"Tsk, that would be an embarrassment to my skills." The gleam in his eye revealed what he truly wanted. "I would rather throw you onto the bed and _fuck_ you until you faint."

She instantly felt her body respond, making her wet and swollen. "Then do it."

Zevran threw off his clothes and pushed her back until she fell onto the bed, tearing off her dress at the same time. He leapt and landed like a predator, deftly rolling her over, setting her naked body flush against his. The pleasure of her radiating warmth had become a necessity, the wetness of her mouth and the sweetness of her scent, a stimulant and a sedative all at once.

With rough hands, he took hold and flipped her onto her back, locking his eyes on hers. "I will never leave you…I love you…I always will."

She held his shoulders tight, pulling him against her as though trying to fuse her skin to his. Her hands ran down and flattened at the small of his back willing his knee to spread her thighs. Writhing beneath him, her eyes begged, anticipation in every breath, waiting for his entry.

A deep growl came with his swift thrust, and her legs clamped around his waist.

"Don't stop," she whispered hard against his ear, cradling his head, and running her fingers through his hair. Unrestrained, she bucked back at his every plunge, each time harder than the last.

"Tell me," he said, low and throaty. "Tell me what you want…"

She shuddered and the rhythmic squeeze of her inner thighs against him was almost his undoing. "Zevran, it's you…I want you...only you," she breathed.

"Elissa, look at me…watch, and never forget..." Again, their eyes met, and she saw into his heart, into his soul as he spilled inside her, each lover's gaze holding unshed tears. She struggled to keep her eyes open as she climaxed, her body shaking in uncontrolled spasms. Forehead to forehead, they panted, reluctant to move, to separate their joined bodies. As their breathing slowed, her legs loosened their grip around him and he slid off to her side.

"You've ruined another dress," she chided.

"And you didn't faint, mi amor."

She laughed and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Next time. I promise."

* * *

Cleaned up and pretty, Elissa and Zevran sashayed into the throne room arm in arm. Varel and her friends, Wardens and recruits alike, had organized a small celebration, a goodbye party, even though her marriage to Zevran was still a week away. Scanning the room, she was sure Oghren had convinced all of them to drink more ale than any of them could handle as she had never heard so much laughter, or seen so much raucous behavior in that room since she first arrived.

Elissa went straight to Tia and took Catalina in her arms. "Hello, sweet baby…how are you, my little kitten?"

"Oh, she is such a joy, M'lady. So calm and sweet. I wonder who she takes after…surely not her mother?"

"Oh, I see. Zevran returns your son to you, and now he can do no wrong?"

"My dove, you know she is right. I have never been anything but relaxed and kind-hearted," he bragged, admiring his daughter. "Look, she even has my smile."

"Pfft." Elissa rolled her eyes. "Tia, how is your son adjusting to his new life?"

The mage motioned towards Anders. "He has been very happy here these last weeks. Anders has taken him under his wing and I could think of no finer instructor of magic."

"I'm so glad. He's quite a handsome young man, you know. Make sure Anders keeps his opinions on the fairer sex to himself," she laughed. "Now, I would like to see _you_ enjoy yourself, Tia. I promise I will have no need of you until tomorrow, so feel free to relax and have some wine. It's Antivan...,"she teased. Tia nodded and headed for the wine cask.

"Zevran, I need to speak with Anders a moment. Take Catalina, please." Zevran cradled the baby in his arms, his eyes never leaving her perfect little face as Elissa walked away.

She tapped Anders on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Mister My Magic is so Awesome, but I need to talk to you."

"Alright," he chuckled. "Carlo, just practice what I showed you, only don't aim at people."

"Yes, Anders. I promise." The boy ran off to show his mother his new tricks.

"I'm impressed, Anders. You are an excellent tutor."

Anders elbowed her. "Why thank you, Elissa. It's a rare thing to get a compliment from you lately."

"Don't take it personally," she said, winking.

"Soooo, why do you think he came here? And without his wife…very intriguing," he whispered, waggling his brows.

"Who came here? Oh, you mean the Warden Commander from Orlais. He's here already?" she asked, peering over Anders' shoulder.

"Oh, no one told…Elissa, it's the King. Alistair is here."

She smirked, amused by his prank. "This is not the time for practical jokes, mage…" Her eyes came back to Anders and she tilted her head as the truth sunk in. "You can't be serious…" Anders face held a mix of pity and surprise. "Maker, you are serious…Blast it all!"

"He's upstairs, freshening up his royal ass. He was quite a filthy mess when he arrived, all disheveled and scruffy. And his armor! Ach, dull as mud!"

"Zevran was right, damn him. So, Anora isn't with him. That _is_ interesting. Alright, let me think a moment." She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. "Alistair always had lousy timing. _His Majesty _needs to meet with the next Warden Commander. Where is Nathaniel?"

"I believe he is in the courtyard. I'm a bit worried about him, to be honest. He's been very withdrawn since Zev came back, and, just so you know, Nate told me everything."

"Of course he did," she said regretfully. "I'm going to go talk to him and get him in here. Nothing is ever easy, Anders."

"Be gentle, Commander. His heart is fragile and his patience is near gone." Elissa nodded and turned to motion her plans to Zevran, but he was so enthralled with Catalina, she couldn't ruin the moment, and she left without warning.

The lingering light of sunset allowed her to spot Nathaniel quickly. He stood near the statue of Andraste with his arms folded, staring blankly towards the gates. She shuffled along the ground to make her presence known. "Hey, Nathaniel. Anders told me you were out here."

"Hello, Liss," he said evenly.

"We need to talk. Did you know the King is here? You should meet with him tonight. I suspect he may have some questions regarding your loyalties seeing as how he doesn't trust my judgment much anymore."

"Look, I really don't want talk to you _or_ the King right now. Just let me know when I need to take over command. I assume that will be the day you leave with _him_."

Ignoring his scorn, she said, "It can be sooner, if you like. How about tonight? Another reason to celebrate, right?" Her chipper tone was ignored.

Nathaniel looked at her, puzzled and tormented at once. "How can you do it? How can you marry him? He's scum, Liss. What he put you through…what he did while he was gone? You're better than that. He isn't fit to shine your armor."

"Please, I didn't come here to argue with you. I know you'll never understand. I just…I'm sorry, truly sorry." Elissa touched his arm and moved to leave. "Come back to the party when you're ready."

Nathaniel closed his eyes and shook his head. "Wait! Wait. I…I haven't congratulated you yet. Your daughter is beautiful, Liss."

"Thank you." In the awkward silence that followed, she felt his eyes staring, burning a hole through her guilt. "Um, did you know that the meaning of the name Catalina is 'pure'? And that Sylaise is the sister of Andruil?"

"No." Nathaniel moved closer and his agitation unnerved her. "If he had died, would you have married me? Would I now act as father to Catalina?" He took another step closer.

Elissa stepped back. "Nathaniel, you're making me nervous. I'm going to go back inside. We can talk later, after you've calmed down."

As she turned, he grabbed her arm. "I _will_ finish this with Zev…listen to me-"

"Were I you, I would unhand her right now," Zevran threatened, pressing a dagger to Nathaniel's throat.

Nathaniel let her go and laughed. "Stealth…is that all you have?"

"I think you know what I am capable of, Nate." He turned to Elissa, dagger still in hand. "Go inside now. I will be along shortly."

"Absolutely not! I am still Commander here and this will not happen!" Both men were over-confident, zealous, and neither one reined in their roguish pride.

Zevran gave her an insistent look, tinged with worry. "Please, Elissa. _Alistair_ is waiting for you."

"Damn you. Just let me know who has the bigger **cock** when you come back inside!" Frustrated, she stomped off to the throne room. She grabbed the door just before it slammed shut and peered out at the courtyard. Unable to hear their conversation, she attempted to read their body language.

Zevran was in his usual arrogant stance, and Nathaniel stood next to him, looking down onto the assassin, as he was several inches taller. Watching the two rogues, Elissa's heart raced, only to seize up as she sensed someone coming up behind her. She looked over her shoulder, and there he stood, handsome and golden.

"Good evening, Commander." Alistair was smiling, and Elissa was at a loss to remark. She turned her head to close the door, getting one last glimpse of the standoff in the courtyard.

Zevran closed the distance between him and Nathaniel. "Tell me Nate, how do you intend to _finish_ this?"

"You are a man with a talent for fighting, as am I. Therefore, I have a suggestion…tomorrow at midday, two weapons each, and we use only strength, speed and subterfuge, no poisons, balms or poultices."

Zevran was stunned by his proposal. "_You_ wish to fight _me_?"

"Do you think I'm afraid of your kind?" He sneered at the elf. "Your dishonorable breed of killers? You make me sick, Arainai."

"So high and mighty! That will not serve you well in the end, however. You think you can outmaneuver me?" Zevran held his head up. All he had to worry about was Elissa's reaction. "Alright, I agree to fight you. And when a victor is evident, all this nonsense will be over, yes?"

"Yes." Nathaniel tipped his head and smirked. "To the death?"

Zevran narrowed his eyes, wondering if the Howe hadn't lost his mind somewhere along the way, but Nathaniel's eyes were wide, stormy grey, and full of confidence.

A toothy grin formed on the elf's lips as he sheathed his weapon. "To the death!"

_A/N:__ Gosh, why can't I stop digressing? I think I hate to see this story nearing the end…still a few more chapters to get out, though. I hope you enjoy this one!_

_The song lyrics are from Te Busqué, by Nelly Furtado. I thought it fit, even if it is a contemporary song. As always, thank you to everyone reviewing/alerting/faving and just plain reading!_

_Allow me to acknowledge some more of those who have been so kind as to alert/fav: Zetria, Miltonia, Emantsal, Akuma Mame, Kaisa Del'Armago, RedevilBlade, souma331, Cookieblood, Hunter2747, Miniela, Ataea, mbwils, hetekos, sidna, horselover90, alternate-shadow. I truly appreciate your kindness. *hugs*_


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

"Your Majesty," she whispered, kneeling before the King.

"Elissa, please…rise and dispense with the formalities." Elissa lifted her head to find him gazing at her with a bewildered smile. He offered his hand, strong and unforgettable, and she took it, letting him pull her up while her legs steadied. "After all, we _were_ married once."

"Alistair, why are you here?" she blurted. "I mean, what brings His Majesty to our Keep?" she asked, finding it nearly impossible to hold back her resentment.

Mentally, he noted her tone, but chose not to acknowledge it. "I must say, I am impressed with what I've seen of the Keep thus far. You are to be commended."

"Oh, it was nothing." She flipped her long, blonde locks off her shoulder smugly. "We also saved Amaranthine City, destroyed the Mother, forced back a darkspawn incursion, and recruited dozens of potential Wardens ," she announced, ticking off each success on a finger. "Oh, and we learned how to stop a Blight."

He grinned, amused by her arrogant tongue. "Yes, yes, of course. I was going to get to all that, but you beat me to the punch, quick as ever."

Her posture relaxed when she realized he was not interested in passing judgment on anything she had or hadn't done, at least not yet. "Now, what can we do for you?"

"Too busy to catch up? I guess I can see why you would want to avoid small talk. Nosy recruits sowing the seeds of gossip, right?"

Elissa pointed her chin towards the central hearth where she could keep an eye on Catalina as well as the main door. Together, the former couple walked over to the fire. "Small talk is fine and good, but I have pressing issues that require my attention."

"Such as your daughter?" he offered. "She looks like you," he said, saddened that Zevran was Catalina's father and not himself.

Elissa knew a conversation about her sudden fertility would cause Alistair to change his contented disposition. "Actually, no. I want you to meet with Nathaniel Howe."

"Ah, the Howe. I understand you and he are quite close," he said, hinting in a playful manner that there was more than friendship between them. Alistair didn't know her reasons for befriending Nathaniel, but word around the Keep was that the Howe was in love with Elissa, and that was _not _surprising.

"Surely you don't believe idle gossip? He is a good friend and nothing more and he will make a fine Commander. He is diplomatic, intelligent, and his archery skills are unmatched. Allow me to go find him, and you'll see for yourself," she challenged with a vivacious smirk.

"Yes, I'm sure you're right." Alistair took a step closer to her. "Look, I know you're trying to brush me off, and I don't blame you, but neither will I let you. Last we spoke, I was…well, let's just say that it was an unfortunate way to end things. However, that was over a year ago and things have changed."

Her arms crossed her chest and she tilted a hip. "Oh? What's so different now?"

Distracted with thoughts of Zevran, she began to look around the room, tapping a finger on her folded arm, and Alistair noticed her unease. "Actually, before I get into the events of the past year, I'd like you to reacquaint yourself with an old friend." Alistair put his thumb and index finger in his mouth and whistled. Running at breakneck speed, Elissa's mabari, Kai, leapt and landed his paws on her chest, nearly taking her down.

"Oh, Kai! Hello, boy…yes, you are looking so much better…who's a good boy?" Elissa rubbed his ears and the dog covered her with drool. She wore a grin as bright as the sun as the mabari jumped up and down with excitement.

She glanced at Alistair, who was quite taken with the scene. "Talk about a bad year. This poor dog barely made it, and the mange! The scratching alone just about did him in. I'm going to miss this wardog around the castle. Sometimes, he was the only one who would listen to my jokes," he whined.

"Alistair, thank you so much!" Kai sat by her leg, proud and protective.

The man in front of Elissa was no longer the stuffed shirt she had left in Denerim. Alistair had changed, and for the better. One thing was for sure; he was more comfortable in own skin than he had ever been in the past. The gratitude she felt left her impulsive, and she planted a chaste kiss on the King's cheek.

"Ah!" Alistair's cheeks flushed crimson, and he stepped back. That smile, that shine in her eyes, everything about her left him wanting more. He let out a long breath of frustration. "I'm glad the hound has made you so happy, but please...don't do that again," he said, narrowing his eyes sadly. It was Elissa's turn to blush, embarrassed by her capriciousness, and she nodded her head somberly. "At any rate," he continued, "you were right. Anora is every bit the snake her father was, if not more. She is currently under house arrest."

"Oh, no. I'm sorry Alistair. You deserved better than her." _Better than me_, she thought.

"Well, you can't always get what you want. Actually, one good thing has come of this mess. Anora is with child, but I can't rightly execute the mother of my heir, can I?"

"That _is_ wonderful, Alistair! Being a parent is truly an experience unlike any other. I know you'll make a fine father."

"I wish…I could have been the man you needed, the man you wanted, if only you had given me the chance. Then again, maybe I'm foolish to think I could ever compete with Zev."

"I never wanted you to change for me. You're perfect as you are," she sighed, thinking how her life _could_ have been if not for her love of Zevran. "You are the most honorable man I know, worthy of a woman who loves you completely and honestly. I did, for a time. I hope you believe that."

"I do…now." Absently, he fussed with his hair, running his fingers along the side of his head.

"You do that when you're uptight…play with your hair, I mean. It's rather cute," she chuckled in amusement.

"Laughing at the King's expense, are you? Why has no one else told me that? It's not good for the King to appear anxious." Alistair found himself truly enjoying their casual banter, much more than he should.

"Maybe no one else noticed," she said grinning. "You know Alistair, I think your title has changed you. You're so self-assured now, and even though Anora is a…well, is what she is, you _seem_ happy. Are you happy?"

"Define happy…Leliana has been a great help, incidentally. She has made me see things in a whole new light, and she misses _you _terribly."

"Leliana, hm? Do you care to talk about it?" she teased.

"No, no. No scandal, no romance. She's just been a good friend." Alistair's demeanor turned serious. "Are _you_ happy?"

"Yes, I am. My daughter is healthy, and I'm about to be married. Zevran, he…he captured my heart in a way that I can barely comprehend."

"Don't I know it…he's very fortunate to have you by his side," he said disheartened.

It had been some time since Elissa thought about how much she had hurt Alistair. She nearly destroyed him, in truth. Yet here he was, so kind and sweet. Part of her missed that simple, loving existence she had shared with him. "I'm sorry, Alistair, sorry for everything."

"As am I." He smiled warmly, and for a moment, his eyes filled with genuine love.

She gave him a trite smile and nodded. "So tell me, what has Anora done to incur your wrath?"

"Oh yes, that…well, early on, she wanted me to completely dissolve our relationship with the Grey Wardens. I almost bought into that, you know, because of what happened with us, but I'm a Warden, too, and I take that commitment seriously. After that, she was ruthless. She hired the Crows…to assassinate you, or rather try to assassinate you, again. My spies found out, and I interceded before any actions were taken against you."

"Are you sure you stopped them? And why did you stop them?" she asked, shocked.

"I made the Crows an offer they couldn't refuse, but that's a secret," he whispered with a grin. "Besides, I never meant any harm to come to you, Elissa. I loved you." His hand moved to her cheek and his gentle caress tugged at her heart. "I love you still." Time froze as they gazed at each other, each shedding a solitary tear of regret.

"Ah, Your Majesty! What a wonderful surprise!" Alistair jerked his hand back to rest on his hip as Zevran made his brash entrance. "Excuse the interruption, my dove, but have you two caught up? I have a pressing matter that needs your…input." Zevran's was intent on pulling her away from her former husband.

"Zev, you're a lucky bastard." The two men locked eyes, each stare holding deep emotions: one jealous and bitter, the other, proud and victorious. "Your daughter is beautiful," Alistair said as an afterthought.

"Thank you. Do I detect a hint of forgiveness, Alistair?"

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far. Let's just say I don't feel the urge to run you through at this _particular_ moment," he said with the slightest hint of loathing in his tone.

"Progress! But, seriously, I need to steal our fair Warden for just a moment. Something of a _personal_ nature," Zevran said smoothly, a small, yet effective jab at Alistair's loss.

Alistair chose not to dignify the elf's remark. "Of course. I'll have an ale and do my best to mingle like a commoner," he joked, and headed towards the cask to visit with Oghren.

Elissa turned to Zevran, her eyes half-manic. "What in Andraste's name is going on with Nathaniel?"

"Tell me what's going on with Alistair!" he snapped back.

"Oh, no. You'll not turn this on me. Tell me what I need to know, and right now, Zevran."

"You are not going to like what I have to say." She widened her eyes, faintly worried by his thumb tapping on the hilt of a small knife in his waistband. "Tomorrow at midday, Nate and I are to fight."

"What? Are you mad? You're both acting like hormonal boys! There will be no fights in my Keep. I forbid it, Zevran."

"Actually, we will be outside the gates, so-"

"How old _are_ you?" she asked with some disgust. "Tch. How can you put me in this position? Alistair is here...it's terribly embarrassing to have you and Nathaniel behaving this way."

Zevran shrugged his shoulders at her censure. "Come now, everyone loves a good fight, Elissa. But, this is the part you will really dislike. Two weapons each, no poisons, poultices, or any other debilitating or healing balms, and no mages."

"You can't be serious. That's absurd!"

"I don't intend to lose, my dear," he said, stalling the inevitable.

"One of you could die before it's all over!" Elissa was tired, mentally and physically, but collected herself hoping to reason with him. "Zevran, why would you do this, now that we can see the light at the end of the tunnel? We have a child to care for, a future before us!" Zevran's serious expression troubled her. "What aren't you telling me?"

"As it happens, we agreed to fight…to the death," he said, quickly taking a step back. Zevran expected her fist to connect with his jaw, but instead, he watched as her face fell.

"We…_I_ have a daughter. The time for egotistical vanity is past," she stated, contempt flattening her voice. "I know I have been a fool for you on many occasions, and by my own choosing, but I can neither encourage nor support you, not this time." With a toss of her blonde hair, she strode away from Zevran, and she didn't look back.

"Brasca!" he spat, and turned to leave the throne room for some fresh air.

She took Catalina from Tia, sweeping the baby up in her arms, and she walked to the hallway that led to the stairs. The mage scampered behind her, muttering Antivan curses presumably meant for Zevran.

Before climbing the stairs, Elissa shouted to one of the servants. "I want a bath drawn, and I want a hot one!"

* * *

The dazzling blue gown of pure silk lay crumpled on the bedroom floor, the same dress Zevran had handpicked before leaving Antiva. He was so pleased with himself at having chosen a color that was a perfect match to her eyes, and to see it now, tossed and disregarded, stung more than he cared to admit. He sighed, knowing she was still beyond reason, full of anger and disappointment.

Zevran took a soft wool blanket from the foot of the bed and tucked her in with care. He could hear her soft purr, a sound he would never call a snore, if he knew what was good for him. He crawled onto the bed and settled next to her, not as quietly as he had on other occasions.

"Mmm, Zevran…go away," she whispered in a sleepy haze. When he didn't move, she opened one eye to find him staring at her, looking grim. "I have nothing to say to you. Please, go."

"You trust me, do you not?"

"I thought I did, until tonight," she huffed, knowing that was a lie. She trusted him implicitly. "I don't know. Your judgment is…off, I think."

"If you trust me, then why are you arguing with my decision?"

"This wasn't your decision to make _alone_."

"_He_ made it my decision, _you_ made it my decision."

"Please, Zevran. Spare me. It's irresponsible and selfish, and you _know_ it." She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "The size of your ego is beyond comparison."

"I will not fail. You must know this."

"It's not about who wins, Zevran. I can't sit by and let you kill the next Warden Commander. You have put me in a very awkward position. What I _should_ do is throw you in the dungeon!"

"You wouldn't…would you?" he asked with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"I would if I wasn't giving up this position in a week. Zevran, this breaks my heart to say, but I will not watch, nor will I have any part of this fight." She tried to repress the tears, but they came anyway. "What if you die?"

"I won't." He lifted her chin with his finger. "I am a survivor."

"You do know he will try to debilitate you first. If an arrow hits you, you will be at an extreme disadvantage."

"Of course. Dodging is my specialty!" he chuckled, but his laughter was fake, and Elissa remained serious.

"You're not going to kill him, are you?" she asked, feeling numb.

"My dear Elissa, I can make no promises. He deserves to die in my estimation, but I know how you feel about this. Let's just say I will try my best to keep him from meeting the Maker. However, he _will_ suffer at my hands. Of that I assure you."

"I see. Well, you've made your choice, and I've come in second place once again." Her hands snapped forward, pushing on his chest. "And now I'm making _my_ choice. Go. Please, I want you to disappear."

"You truly wish to be rid of me tonight?" She pressed her lips together and widened her eyes. Zevran nodded with a groan. "Before I go, I will leave you with this." He pushed her hands down to the bed and released all his energy into her mouth with a carnal kiss. Elissa kissed him back with a passion borne of anguish, and she trembled beneath him, weeping. Then he was gone.

* * *

A crowd gathered outside the gates, and Nathaniel and Zevran stood 20 paces apart on the field. Zevran smiled, casual and confident, and waved to the crowd, blowing kisses to the women. Nathaniel stood tall and serious, checking his bow and securing his longsword, Dumat's Spine. The sun was just about at its peak while it beat down on the field bustling with activity.

Truly a servant of the people, King Alistair was to shout the command for the fight to commence, and he was just as excited as the rest of the onlookers. He hated the Howe because he hated all Howes on principle, and he hated Zevran for so many reasons, he couldn't pick just one. Alistair secretly hoped they would slaughter each other to free Elissa from their clutches.

The field cleared and Alistair stood dead center of the two rogues, his arm straight out, and his sword in hand. He eyed Zevran, and then the Howe, giving each a nod. "Gentleman, let the fight begin!" he shouted, as his sword rose into the air, and then he dashed back to the sidelines, grinning.

The soldiers threw up their hands and roared as the two men circled round each other. Nathaniel nocked an arrow and studied his prey. Zevran kept his eyes on Nathanial's face, hoping his expression would give away the direction the arrow was to fly. Each move they made was slow, deliberate, and they neared each other as Nathaniel pulled the arrow back and aimed at Zevran's chest. Carefully, Nathaniel allowed his fingers to let the string slip out. Zevran had barely a second to make a decision; dive left or right. It was a gamble either way, so he chose his stronger side, the right, and tumbled forward. Nathaniel had adjusted his shot to his left, more by lucky chance than skill or intuition, and the arrow struck deep into Zevran's left bicep. While the adrenaline blocked the pain, Zevran grabbed the arrow with his right hand, breaking off what he could before jumping to his feet. Zevran's left arm was now unusable, dripping blood onto the dirt, and his right hand unsheathed Duncan's dagger as Nathaniel advanced in a sprint.

Nathaniel thrust his longsword at Zevran's neck, parrying as the elf swung his blade from below while sidestepping the oncoming metal. Straightening up, Zevran landed the pommel of his dagger on Nathaniel's left shoulder. Simultaneously, he sprang with his right leg behind Nathaniel's left, throwing the Howe on his back. For a brief moment, the wind was knocked from the Howe's lungs. Zevran dropped onto Nathaniel's hips and tried to pin the Howe's arms with his feet, but Zevran weighed little compared to Nathaniel's bulk and the elf struggled to maintain position. As Nathaniel regained his breath, the tip of Duncan's dagger sat over his heart.

"Do you yield?" Zevran asked panting.

Nathaniel smiled. "Never," he whispered, and threw Zevran off by forcing his two legs up and over the elf, going into a backward roll.

The crowd went wild, cheering for both fighters as bets flew from the mouths of every individual watching.

* * *

One bloody week, that's all she needed to get through. Her obligations to the Wardens, to Amaranthine and its people, would finally end. The Hero of Ferelden would retire to a simple life of leisure, baking bread and dancing through fields of lavender, holding hands with her dearest treasures, Catalina and Zevran. However, The Maker had other plans for her final week of duty.

There she stood in the nursery, enslaved by uncertainty as Catalina slept in her cradle. The risk of getting involved was too great, or was it? Against the dark cloud inside her mind, she thought of their child. How could she let Catalina grow up fatherless, when it was within her power to stop the fight? She thought of Zevran, how much she adored him and his ability to make everything all right. In addition, there was Nathaniel, the next Warden Commander, her friend and confidant, poised to get the beating of his life at the hands of the assassin she loved.

Normally, fighters would engage until one was well bloodied, disabled, or disarmed; or until one begged pardon. She knew this was not going to be the case today. Elissa paced the floor like a caged animal, blood racing, and rapid breath impeding the air. Even with all his arrogance and his many transgressions, she wanted to go to Zevran, to dash to the gates and stop them from butchering each other. Their damn male pride could alter her life, forever.

Peering out the open window, she heard the distant cheering, the sounds of clanking metal, the grunts and groans, real or imagined. She covered her ears with her hands, until Catalina stirred and cried out before falling back asleep. Watching her innocent baby nap, Elissa knew it was now or never, and forced herself to make a decision.

She flung open the door and hollered for the mage. "Tia, come quick!" She pulled on her armor as fast as any day the darkspawn were on her heels. "Stay with Catalina. I need to end this."

"But M'lady, the danger-"

"Do as I say!"

She ran to her weapon rack and snatched up the bow Nathaniel had given her, Dragonspite, the bow made from the wood of the Vhenadahl and known for its rapid aim. Arrows in the quiver, she set off for the gates.

She ran past the oblivious soldiers guarding the Keep, and attempted to shove through the raucous crowd. "Make way, damn you!" she shouted, but the soldiers were too thick and noisy, too absorbed in the action to care who she was, and they pushed her aside. She ran around the back of the mob, and saw an opening between two of her female recruits. "You two, move it! That's an order!" Elissa knocked into them, sending them sideways, and she sprinted, stopping along the side of a tree, mostly out of sight.

Finally, she saw Zevran and Nathaniel in their dust covered leathers splattered with blood. Zevran's wounded arm hung at his side as he slashed Duncan's dagger though the air. Nathaniel was slightly bent and held an arm at his flank. The blood loss both men suffered was substantial, and they were weak, their reaction times at a near standstill.

It was rare for Elissa to see Zevran suffering so, and she pressed a fist into her turbulent stomach. Dumat's Spine inflicted more damage than Duncan's dagger, shredding Zevran's armor to bits as it sliced openings in his flesh. Her mind screamed orders. If she jumped in, what would it matter? Their pride would heal, and the observers might not take too kindly to it, but no one would challenge her decision. _Screw them all_, she thought. If she didn't make a move, they would both bleed out.

In that moment of indecision, Nathaniel had knocked Zevran down and moved to strike. Elissa grabbed her bow, nocked an arrow, and aimed. Zevran appeared too weak to get up, and Nathaniel advanced. He bent over, shading Zevran's motionless body, and Nathaniel struggled to stay balanced. His hand was unsteady as he put his sword to Zevran's throat. Words passed between the two rogues, and Elissa's fingers began to twitch, sweat dripping into her eyes, clouding her vision. Nathaniel staggered and Elissa thought he might collapse, but he held his ground. Still unnoticed, she blinked the fog away and drew the arrow to full tension, holding it, tracking Nathaniel's movement, and waiting for the timing to be perfect. She loosed the arrow and it arced, smooth and quiet, before plunging into Nathaniel's thigh. He dropped to the ground.

A hush fell over the crowd and all eyes turned to the Commander of the Grey Wardens. She stood still, as still as the two bodies that remained on the field. The bow dropped from her hand and she sucked in a lungful of forgotten air. She watched the scene in slow motion. Soldiers, the King, her heartbeat, everything slowed.

"Disperse, all of you! Back to the Keep, immediately!" The King continued to bellow orders as he raced to her side. "Elissa? Are you alright?"

"I…I need Anders," she said softly, before the shock wore off. "For Zevran, not me…Anders! Anders!" she shouted. Now alert, Elissa ran to Zevran and found him barely conscious, and very pale. She pressed her fingers to his neck, and couldn't find a pulse and her head whipped around, searching for aid. "Anders!" Nathaniel was next to Zevran, mumbling incoherently, and a dark-haired mage was already attending to his wounds.

"Where is Anders, damn it!" A slight wheeze escaped Zevran's mouth and blood sputtered from his lips. His legs jerked and every muscle seemed to twitch, but he had no voice to cry out. Elissa wiped the blood from his mouth and cradled his head in one arm. "I'm here, Zevran. Can you hear me?" She looked into his dull, amber eyes, searching for life, but there was nothing, no pain or anger, and no recognition at all, nothing to give her hope.

Anders landed at Zevran's side with a thud and quickly placed his hands on his flanks, the blue healing force flowing from his fingertips. "Maker, he's cut…everywhere! I think he has a punctured lung, and he's lost so much blood. I…I don't know."

"What don't you know? Anders, you _must_ save him!" Elissa ordered, panic-stricken.

Anders poured a few drops of a healing draught into Zevran's mouth hoping his reflexes would generate a swallow. Elissa looked to Anders, her eyes pleading, and the mage shook his head. "I can't detect much life energy, Elissa, and I can't do anything about the blood loss. He's barely breathing. His condition... it's grave."

She took Zevran's cold hand and placed it against her chest. "Zevran, don't leave us, not now...please, don't die..." She felt him slipping away, leaving the dream of a future together, as a family.

* * *

_The sunshine warmed his skin and Zevran looked to the sky. He could see the Black City, eternally in the distance, and the sun - or was it two suns? How strange and oddly comforting, he thought, to feel the heat of two suns. This place reminded him of Antiva, but it was much drier here, not as humid as his homeland. Everything around him was bathed in a golden radiance, serene and joyful._

_Zevran looked at his arm, but why he looked, he didn't know. There was no sign of an injury, no blood, and he felt as fit as ever. His armor was spotless, beautiful and detailed. Everything was beautiful; flowers, trees, women and men, all dressed in fine clothes, laughing and singing. He walked as if he was on air, and not expending any energy to do so, yet his feet were still on the ground. A shapely woman appeared beside him, her dress overflowing with cleavage. She kissed him, full on the mouth, groping his backside at the same time, and she giggled as she disappeared in a mist. He wondered where he could be, to be surrounded by so much loveliness, like the finest whorehouses he'd visited all over Thedas._

_A distant shape beckoned to him, waving him in. He neared the vision and she was stunning; ebony hair flowing about her shoulders, emerald eyes burning with passion. She was so striking, so familiar, and her earthy scent made him dizzy as vague memories entered his mind. He fell into her open arms willingly, and she held him close as her lips moved to his ear. _

"_My beautiful Zevran, you have come at last. I cannot hold the past against you now," she whispered. "I love you too much, need you too much."_

_His skin was flushed with delight, every muscle tingling with anticipation. "Is…Is it really you?" He pulled back from her embrace, and his heart filled with joy. "It is you...Rinna, my beloved Rinna." _

_She took his face in her soft hands. "Yes, I am here, your Rinna. I will always be with you." _

_Zevran smiled. "I am finally home."_

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Hmmm. The Fade is a strange place. I don't really like it, although it seems pretty enough. This chapter fried my brain. I hope the next one is easier!_

_**Question:**__ I'm thinking to the not so distant future, and I'm wondering if I should write a fic, sort of a prequel to this Duty series, based on the Origins storyline starting when Elissa met Alistair in Ostagar. It would be more of a look at the relationship she had with Alistair before Zevran, and then the love triangle with the two men, and how that ultimately changed everything for everyone. Of course, certain quests would be addressed, but I don't want to just base it entirely off the game. I would definitely twist it up with new content. If you might be interested in reading something like that, please let me know. I would greatly appreciate it. This way I can decide if I should just move on, or not __:-) __And yeah, I know, it's been done already, probably dozens of times. But it's fun stuff!_

_Thank you to everyone reviewing/alerting/faving and reading! It inspires me so very much!_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

A glowing fire in the hearth kept the room warm, too warm for everyone's liking, but Zevran's body shivered involuntarily, even under the many wool blankets that covered him. Elissa rested on a chair, her body bent in half over him, and she clutched his cool hand. She had fallen asleep as the sun rose following an all night vigil by Zevran's side telling him tales of her life as a child, hoping her voice would somehow help him to heal while he slept in a magic induced coma. Anders stayed at her side tending to Zevran's wounds, casting healing spells on the half hour throughout the previous day and night.

She had only been asleep for an hour when her body jerked in the chair and letting out a distressed moan, she called out to her lover. "Zevran!"

"Elissa, wake up…you're having a bad dream." Anders shook her arm gently, and she roused.

"Huh? Oh, Anders…I was in that _blasted_ Fade." Then her eyes popped open wide. "Maker, I…I saw him there…with her."

"With who?" Alistair piped up from the doorway. He walked to stand beside her and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Rinna. She was holding him and he was…so happy." She looked at Anders, worry splashed across her face. "Was it real? Is he there with her?"

Anders raised his brows. "More likely it was _your_ dream, your… suspicions and doubts, if you'll forgive me for saying. Did you see a demon?"

"No, I don't think so…but, I don't know. It was so beautiful, and Rinna, she was…he didn't hear me shouting his name." As she bit her lower lip, one question stuck in her mind. "Is he dying, Anders?"

"He was _near_ death. But, you couldn't enter his dream, could you?"

"I don't know! You're the bloody mage here!"

"I think you dreamed of your fears, Elissa, what you think are his…desires." Anders bobbed his head up and down assuredly. "Yes, yes. And he _is_ regaining strength and warming up a bit," he added as he touched Zevran's cheek.

"So, he _will_ make it?"

"I've had to keep him asleep so his blood can regenerate, but, yes, I think he'll be fine. He probably won't be on his feet for a couple days though."

"Yeah, right…you don't know Zevran," she said, half-annoyed by Zevran's unyielding determination for all things. Elissa looked up at Alistair as he hovered over her protectively, her eyes weary and swollen.

"Is something else wrong, Elissa?" Alistair asked.

She thought it best to just come out with it and ask. "Are there any positions available in Denerim, at the palace perhaps?"

"Positions? As in…a job?"

"Yes, I want to relocate for a time." She watched as Alistair's mouth gaped open. "So, are there?"

"I'm sorry, but you've shocked me here…why? Why leave now?" Alistair took a step to stand beside her.

"I just need some time away from here, from him. Nathaniel will be fine to take over as Commander in a day or two, so I don't see a problem leaving."

"But, I thought you were happy. You said so yourself." His thoughts drifted to their past. He longed to have her in his life again and he would be content with her friendship. Now, he was not blind to her love for Zevran, and she would not hurt him again.

"I have since reassessed. A woman's prerogative, you know," she grinned, attempting to hide her sadness. "There are things you don't know about, things that went on in recent months that I can no longer overlook."

Anders looked very displeased with Elissa's plans and he gave her a sideways glance. "I can allow Zev to wake, if only for a few minutes. You could discuss it with him first."

"No…I've written a letter that explains everything. Please, see that he reads it _after_ I leave. Otherwise, he is just going to…" she trailed off. "Gentlemen, I appreciate your concern, but I have made my decision. I…I just want to be somewhere else."

Alistair patted her shoulder, thinking about how he would explain her presence in the palace. "As you wish. I think we can find _something_ for the Hero of Ferelden to do to keep busy."

Anders took Elissa's arm and pulled her aside. "You're just going to leave? Without talking to him?"

Elissa's eyes went to Zevran as he slept and then she turned to Anders, hurt and confusion tormenting her. "I'm sorry…Anders, I have no choice. I have a child to think of."

"She's Zev's child, too. Don't you think he deserves to be _told_ of your plans instead of reading a blasted goodbye letter?"

"This is none of your concern, Anders. Just do as I say." Elissa handed him the parchment and stalked out the door with Alistair on her heels.

"Elissa, stop. It's alright. I understand how you feel." Turning to face him, she fell into Alistair's waiting arms and sobbed into his chest, ashamed.

* * *

"Mmn, oh…" Those warm amber eyes so lifeless the day before, now revealed a spark of renewed energy. "Oh, my head…everything…aches."

"I'm sure. You had your ass kicked yesterday," Anders chuckled.

"Truly? I remember Nate's sword at my throat and then…nothing. Why did he not finish?"

"She stopped him, with an arrow to his leg. Nate is fine, though. In fact, he's doing _much_ better than you."

"That's surprising," Zevran said, unable to admit defeat. "So, I was saved by our lovely Warden, yet again." Zevran's laugh turned into a cough and then an angry wheeze.

"Easy, Zev. You are not completely healed," Anders chided.

"And how are Elissa and Catalina? Why isn't Elissa here?"

"They're fine, totally fine. Look Zev, I've been keeping you asleep so you could heal quicker, but I woke you just now for a reason. I need to tell you something." He hesitated longer than he wanted to and gave away his unease.

"What is it?" Zevran glared at Anders as he handed Zevran her letter.

"At first light, Elissa is going to take Catalina and leave for Denerim, with the King. I thought you should know," he said with simple certainty. "Anyway, there's a vial on the table. You might want to drink it before you try to walk." Anders placed his hands on Zevran's flanks, healing him once more before he took his leave. "I'll leave you to read in privacy. There isn't much time, so hurry and go to her. Good luck, my friend."

"Thank you, Anders. I know this goes against her wishes, but you made the right decision. It is for the best I speak with her, and I promise, there will be no repercussions for you."

"My romantic notions will be the end of me one day," he joked. Anders grew serious and squeezed Zevran's shoulder. "Zev, make this right with her," he said, a hint of menace in his tone. Zevran nodded and held out his hand. The two men shook in agreement, and Zevran smiled at the mage, a most sincere and thankful smile.

Alone with her parting words in his hands, he sat up grimacing at the soreness, and his muscles rebelled with every movement. Unfolding the letter proved more difficult than he anticipated and he hated the reason why. The great assassin was scared, afraid she would finally leave him for good, and it was completely his fault. The last thing he wanted was for Elissa to be near Alistair, even for a short while. The combination of Elissa's fragile state and Alistair's charming ways could cause her to leave Zevran forever, and he was not about to let that happen. Several deep breaths later, he braced himself and began to read.

_Zevran,_

_You once told me "a restless heart never sleeps". I thought I could change your restless heart, calm it, and teach it do things my way, but I was a fool. It seems I am also a coward, as I could not tell you this to your face, and for that, I apologize. My weakness, my love for you made me fearful that I would fall victim to your charms. You are what you are, and I fell in love with your strengths as well as your faults, but I can no longer endure the heartache that your recent decisions have caused me. I will not be relegated to second place every time you want to take care of someone or something you deem a threat or an exciting escapade. _

_You weren't there those many days when I awoke alone, worrying for your safety, and I wondered why you could possibly want to be away while our child grew inside of me. I needed you as I needed air to breath and you weren't there. I know you stand by your decision to go to Antiva, and while I do not necessarily fault your logic, I resent your decision take a lover, and it is proving too difficult for me ignore your infidelity. You weren't there for me, but you were there for him, and he for you._

_You would have died yesterday had I not interceded. I did it for Catalina, because I could not let her father leave this earth without seeing his child grow and blossom. You have a beautiful daughter who did not deserve to be disregarded and left fatherless because of your pride and selfishness. Life is too short; my life is too short for the hardships your death would have caused her._

_I am angry with myself for standing idly by while you made decisions that affected me. __Maybe it was my fault. I tried to tame you, and I was unwise to think you were capable of changing when all you've ever known is how to survive at all costs. You couldn't see, or didn't care to see the __hurt you've caused me, and that tells me everything.__ I know you love me, and I know you have tried to be the man I need, but our future together may have been doomed from the start. _

_At dawn, I will leave for Denerim. Alistair has generously offered me chambers in the castle where I can keep Catalina safe and well cared for until I find alternate arrangements. I would never keep our daughter from you, Zevran. You may visit at any time. _

_Know that I am only trying to do what is best for Catalina, as well as for me. I am truly sorry for the pain this will cause you._

_I do not know what the future holds for us. Honestly, I don't even know what it is I want right now, but I do know this; you have broken my heart one too many times, and I fear that the damage may be irreparable. _

_May the Maker keep you safe and well._

_Elissa_

Zevran dropped the hand bearing the letter to his lap. It was clear that she loved him completely, and he felt the same. However, his love wasn't enough for her now. She needed something deeper, a selflessness that he lacked. She needed to be his partner in all things, all decisions, and he had to put her needs before his. Until he could do that, she could not be at his side.

Zevran drank down the powerful healing potion left by Anders, and stiffly moved his legs to hang off the side of the bed. His movements were careful, slow, and he reached for a parchment to compose his own letter while his thoughts were still clear. She would be even angrier with him when he showed up in her chambers, and he thought she would at least accept a return letter before kicking him out.

Once he finished writing, he folded up the short note and stood up, his legs unsteady. A few short, strenuous steps later, he strode towards the armoire, sore but able-bodied. He focused on keeping his breathing steady and his steps, light and silent. After massaging his skin with fragrant oil, he retrieved a pair of breeches and a clean shirt, pulling each on with some discomfort. A bath would have been ideal, but it was very late and there was no time.

Most of the residents of the Keep were asleep, and Zevran thought she was most likely alone with Catalina. As he approached her open door, it angered him that she was so trustworthy and never locked her rooms up unless he did it for her. _Such an easy target_, he thought. _On the other hand, this works in my favor tonight._

"Tsk, tsk. You should be asleep at this late hour, no?" Zevran leaned on the doorframe with his arms crossed, wearing that beautiful and seductive smile that made her weak in the knees.

Elissa cradled Catalina in her arms as the baby nursed and the tiny suckling sounds brought a smile to Elissa's lips as she looked up at Zevran. "I hope you gave Anders a large sum of coin for his efforts. You're looking remarkably well for someone who was a heartbeat away from death yesterday." She shook her head and sneered at him. "I should've known this would happen."

"May I come in?" A heavy sigh escaped her lips and she waved him in. He pushed off the doorjamb and took a tentative step inside her room. "I have a few aches here and there, but nothing to worry yourself over," he said, attempting to lighten the mood.

The breeze from the hallway carried his scent into the room, the bay leaves and the cloves, the memories. "Zevran, do not try to dissuade -"

"No. Please, say nothing. I would like to speak first…if you don't mind?" She acquiesced, shrugging her shoulders with feigned disinterest. He paced to the plush chair where she sat and got down on one knee, taking her hand in his, and he gazed at the poignant scene of his daughter nursing at Elissa's breast.

The simplest of touches, a brush of his fingers against hers, and the whole of her set on fire as he spoke. "Here. I just wrote this in case you were compelled to send me away without talking first." Her free hand took the letter and shook it open. She eyed Zevran wistfully as he cooed at their daughter, stroking her little cheek with his thumb.

"Leave her be when she is taking milk, Zevran. If she stops, she'll be up before dawn," she said, suppressing a yawn. He tipped his head in silence, and moved to sit on the chair next to her. Reluctantly, she began to read.

_My Dear Elissa,_

_Some time ago, without realizing, I gave you my heart. For that reason, I will not let you slip through my fingers so easily now. I fear losing your love, losing your friendship, but most of all, I fear gaining your indifference. The old Zevran would have accepted that all good things end and love never lasts, but I am no longer that man. I love you, and it makes me suffer to think that this feeling could soon be unshared. That is why we must address the reservations you have, face to face._

_I might be slower about it than most, but it is within my ability to change. For you, I would storm castles, fight evil, liberate and assassinate. Change should come easy compared to those actions. Our destiny is to be together, as a family. Of this, I have no doubt. This life would be too punishing without you. Alone, I am numb, half a man, and the fault is yours, for loving me as you have, and that gives me hope._

_All I ask of you is your guidance and your forgiveness so that we may start anew._

_Ever Yours,_

_Zevran_

Thinking back, she couldn't remember how it happened. She only knew that a week after sparing him, she befriended the assassin, and together, they battled deadly forces to vanquish the darkspawn. One month later, sometime between the Circle Tower and Orzammar, she knew he was everything she had ever wanted. Moreover, it never ended, even though she had warned herself it might. Alistair showered her with affection and promises of a royal future together and still, Zevran held her heart captive. Days became weeks, then months, and then two years passed and those feelings did not diminish. Always, they were there, waiting to be acted upon.

Raising her eyes to meet his, she reached out, her palm moving against his cheek. Her feelings were mirrored in his gaze, that same reaction she always had when he touched her; the fixed stare, the quick breaths, the desire to feel each other, to hold each other. That energy passed between them and she nervously pulled her hand away. She was especially wary of his influence over her emotions when so much was at stake. It took every ounce of self-control to take her hand away and lean back in the chair, but she did it.

For Zevran, it was not the time to use sexual tension and desire as a tool to fix what was broken. This was his opportunity to mend her heart with self-sacrifice and vows of personal growth and change.

"Allow me first to say that my feelings, my love for you, will never fade. I think you know that, but there it is anyway."

"Yes, but what about Rinna?" Elissa clamped her eyes shut, regretting the question before it finished leaving her mouth.

"Rinna? She is dead and buried, along with my past. Why do you mention her now?"

Her question created more tension, and now she had to see it through, even though she was fearful of his admissions. "Did you see her…in your dreams? I did."

"_You_ did? I saw something…let me think." He narrowed his eyes and stared at the floor. Bit by bit, the dream came back to him. "Rinna _was_ in my dream, and she held me. I heard a woman call my name and when I turned, there was no one there, and then this _dream_ Rinna changed into a demon of some sort, an ugly apparition of hatred and death, and I…" His gaze went blank as he struggled to remember.

"You what? Zevran, what happened?"

"I tried to kill the thing but my blades could not cut it…it disappeared, and then…I saw you, in a lavender dress, running towards me. Suddenly, we were on the balcony of the castle in Denerim, just like the night before we left together. You told me again, 'Zevran, it was always you in my dreams,' and that is all I remember. I awoke, and there you were."

"Oh. My dream wasn't entirely like yours. She said things to you…It was…disturbing."

"_More_ disturbing than mine?" he asked, taken aback.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter now." A little voice in her head said, _I told you so! _She now recognized that for Zevran, Rinna was nothing but a memory, a lesson learned. The friction between them reduced and Elissa shifted in her chair, rocking Catalina.

He smiled at their daughter and steeled himself for the confessions he was about make. "May I continue?" Elissa nodded her consent.

Zevran took a deep breath. "I was wrong." Elissa's eyes widened, and Zevran continued, inwardly amused at her surprise. "You heard correctly, it's true. I said I was wrong. I never should have left you alone and I regret that more than words can say. I…I have no excuse, no _real_ justification for my leaving for Antiva without discussing it with you first. I did what I thought was the best…the _only_ way to end things with the Crows and keep you safe at the same time, but I now see what that has done to you, and to us. We should have made that decision together."

Elissa watched him intently, and allowed him to go on without arguing or interrupting. "My infidelity was inexcusable as well. He was nothing to me, and you are everything to me. What I did…If the circumstances had been reversed, I know I would be as pained as you are now."

Zevran tried to discern more from her calm expression, but she maintained her composure, barely moving a muscle save to adjust the sleeping baby in her arms. "As for what transpired with Nate, I realize how reckless my dealings with him were. Your letter correctly pointed out my lack of altruism and my lack of responsibility in regards to Catalina."

He leaned in, his gaze softening with introspective thoughts, and he entwined his fingers with hers. "I have never had anything I could call my own, a precious gift, somebody worth living for and worth dying for, until you, and Catalina, came in to my life. I will _never_ _again_ close my eyes to what matters most, you and our daughter, even if that means I can no longer be a part of your life."

Her mouth ran dry and she swallowed hard before speaking. "What do you mean, no longer a part of my life?"

"Maybe you think you are better off without me. You can be content…here, or anywhere you desire, and I can...remove myself so that you may live in peace. I want you to be happy and safe, Elissa. Tell me to leave and I will do it without question."

On the face of it, she was unruffled, and Elissa freed her hand and rose from the chair. She walked to Catalina's cradle, and gently laid the baby inside, covering her with a light blanket. Rising up, she turned and sauntered over to where Zevran now stood and stopped, both of her feet planted firmly on the floor.

Before he could react, she made a fist with her hand and threw a punch, letting him have it right in the gut. Instinctively, he breathed out hard and fast, forcing the air out of his stomach and he tightened his abdominal muscles, stretching backward slightly. With lightning speed, she drove her knuckles into his jaw with a loud crack. Her arm pulled back as fast as it had flown to his face, and Zevran stumbled backwards, hitting the wall before slumping into a heap on the floor. She shook out her fingers, scowling at the pain caused from landing the punch.

Zevran didn't move, couldn't move, and she strolled over and offered a hand to help him up. "Oh, it may be safer for me down here," he quipped. "I take it you want me to leave?" His eyes opened wide, waiting for her answer, but she remained aloof and quiet.

Her unexpected silence disheartened him and he pushed his arms off the floor gingerly, standing up to face her. "I see," he said in a low voice. Surprised by the lack of blood, Zevran ran his hand across his chin and then adjusted his jaw. "Nice throw," he added, stoically accepting her unspoken declaration.

He paused, and she looked at him, glum and worn out. Nodding once, he breathed out a sigh as he reached the door, and then spun on his heel, crossing the threshold to stride away.

"Bloody Antivan," she muttered. He offered to leave, to set her free to live a peaceful life without him and the dangers, both personal and professional, that surrounded him. In her mind, that was the most selfless thing he had ever done. "Wait, Zevran."

Zevran ceased movement, making sure the muffled call wasn't his imagination. When he turned to look at her door, Elissa's head peeked out, long strands of her golden hair dangling above the cold floor. With an enchanting grin, she crooked a finger and beckoned him back to her.

His heart fluttered with spontaneous joy, a feeling he chose not to push down. "No, no. Do not apologize for kicking a man when he is down," he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Upon entering the room, he moved to stand before Elissa, a coy smile spreading on his lips.

"I have no intention of apologizing, Zevran. Just answer me truthfully, from your heart. Can you promise that you will never place me second behind anything or anyone, ever again. Do you truly wish us to start over?"

"I do want to begin again and I want to spend the rest of our days with no regrets, only loving and learning from each other. This, I desire more than you know," he affirmed. "I swore an oath to you once. Now, I will swear another. You will always come first, before any person, place or thing, including myself." He put his fist to his chest with reverence. "That is my solemn promise to you, amor."

Tears trickled down her cheeks and she smiled at him. "I believe you, Zevran. Don't let me down," she directed, as she ran her finger across his jaw.

"Point taken, my love." A tender touch wiped the tears from her face and he cupped her cheek.

She rested her hand on his, pressing his palm closer. "Now what? Where do we go from here?"

"Well, where shall we all live, hm? An opulent villa in Antiva? We would be safe and protected there. Rialto and Treviso are lovely places on the Bay, or perhaps Seleny, farther inland from Antiva City. Orlais is another option," he blathered with restless excitement. "But the choice is yours, my dear."

"I think I would love to live by the water, basking under the sun. Catalina can collect shells and Kai can chase after her. Of course, Tia and her son will be with us, too."

"We shall never be alone again, I think," he said, moving closer to her. His heart warmed with thoughts of hearth and home, with hopes of a full life.

"Can we visit them all and then decide?" she aked, her mouth almost on his.

"Whatever you desire, my dove." Zevran answered further with a kiss, long and fierce, and she responded in kind.

Elissa began to feel boneless, limp, and with a small gasp, she pulled away, forgetting how to breathe for a moment. "I think formal introductions are necessary before this gets…unmanageable." Zevran gave her a sly look and raised a brow.

She took his hand in hers. "My name is Elissa Cousland," she said with a mischievous grin. "I am a Grey Warden, the soon to be ex-Arlessa of Amaranthine and ex-Commander of the Grey, and the former Queen of Ferelden. Even though I can't seem to hold down a post of duty for long, I will cut you into little pieces if you give me any trouble. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"My name is Zevran Arainai," he said, a hint of amusement in his relaxed voice. "Zev to my friends, but I would prefer if _you_ called me Zevran. I am an assassin by trade and a former Antivan Crow. My various skills come cheaply now, but are known throughout Thedas as unsurpassed. I want nothing more than to be in the employ of a deadly sex goddess such as yourself, if you see fit to engage me." Zevran bowed with a flourish and a twirl, and Elissa found herself giddy with his display.

Elissa took a small step closer, tilted her head and breathed her words across his face. "I have a beautiful daughter named Catalina, and her father is a rather handsome elf. You're not the jealous type, are you?"

"Alas, I am an _extremely_ jealous man." Zevran snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her to rest flush against his chest. "This elf, does he…satisfy you, the way you deserve to be satisfied?"

Her mouth moved to the tip of his ear and she nipped it before moving back to face him. "I'm not sure yet. Time will tell," she purred.

He dipped his head to her neck and his tongue swirled across her nape, trailing kisses up to her earlobe where he stopped to admire her earring. "Not only is this man very fortunate, but he has excellent taste in jewelry."

"Yes, he does. Just look at this matching ring." As she held up her hand, Zevran took the finger bearing the ring and slipped it into his mouth, sucking her finger in until his lips covered the gemstone. He whirled his tongue around the sapphire, languidly drawing her finger out as he gazed into her eyes. A shiver of delight ran down her spine.

Controlling the urge to kiss her, Zevran lingered, enjoying the pleasant smell of her nearness. "Should he mistreat you, or be careless enough not to seek your opinion, or perhaps forget what a treasure he has found in you, what will you do with him then?"

Elissa's fingers ran down his chest, past his rippled stomach, and she reached into his breeches, grasping _all_ of his manhood rough enough to make him inhale a sharp breath of air. "I will take away his virility by castration, slowly and painfully, with a dull butter knife."

"Ah. Something to keep in mind." His lips curled into a soft smile, his eyes twinkling in the dim light. Zevran threaded his fingers through her hair, gently holding her head in his hands. "May I court you, my dear Warden?"

Her tranquil azure eyes adored the view. "You may, rogue, but you must promise to keep your hands where I can see them."

He released his hold on her and took a step back, holding the palms of his hands out for good measure. "Elissa Cousland, I think this may be the start of a marvelous relationship."

"I agree, Zevran Arainai."

* * *

"Since ships have sailed the seven seas, captains have enjoyed the privilege of joining two people in matrimony."

The sky over them was brilliantly shaded with streaks of orange and red. As the sun slid down towards the horizon, Elissa and Zevran glanced at Isabela as she stood at the helm of the _Siren's Call_. The pirate looked remarkably feminine and attractive in a flowing red dress, accented with black scarves about her arms and neck that danced on the sea breeze. Isabela held a wrinkled parchment in her hand and read from it with an expression that revealed only one thought: _I can't believe I am reading this nonsense aloud_.

"The vows you take today are a commitment to make a life together, knowing with the uncertainties of the future, that your love for one another will remain constant through it all. As we stand witness beside the ocean tide, may your love always be as constant and unchanging as these never-ending waves that roll beneath our feet."

Isabela motioned to Elissa, relieved her part was done. "Your turn, sweet thing."

Elissa's blonde hair flowed past her the shoulders, windswept and wavier than usual in the salt mist. Beyond her ivory bodice were billowy waves of silken material that came to rest on the ship's deck. Running along the plunging neckline sat delicate sapphire blue roses that matched the satin sash of Zevran's ivory and gold brocade doublet.

She brushed a few wild hairs from her eye and giggled as Zevran adjusted his collar anxiously. There were only a few friends in attendance as Alistair and Nathaniel chose to remain at the Keep. Anders and Oghren couldn't help but smile as Elissa and Zevran joined hands and spoke the vows they had written for each other.

"I, Elissa Cousland, vow from this day forward, that it shall be your name I cry out in the night, and into your eyes that I smile each morning. I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine, and I shall honor you above all others. You cannot possess me for I belong to myself, but while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me for I am a free person, but I shall serve you in those ways you require, and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand. This is my vow to you."

She stared at him for a moment, his handsome face framed by golden hair, and she quickly wiped a tear from her cheek, never letting his hand go. Standing tall and proud, Zevran then gave himself to her freely.

"I, Zevran Arainai, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take you, Elissa Cousland, to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one, to desire you and be desired by you, to possess you and be possessed by you. I promise to love you wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond. This is my vow to you."

They smiled at one another, their hearts bursting with love and their eyes lit with desire. Zevran leaned in and wrapped himself around her, kissing his new wife passionately. So enraptured they were in each other's arms, neither heard the applause and cheers coming from the guests on the ship.

Everything in their new world was in perfect balance. Pure bliss.

"Huzzah!"

_**A/N:**__ Thank you to everyone reviewing/alerting/faving and reading! This chapter seems a bit rushed to me. I think I've finally run out of steam to draw out more of the story. Anyway, Isabela's words were taken from traditional wedding at sea type vows. Elissa's vows were a variation of traditional Celtic wedding vows, and Zevran's were taken from Pagan wedding vows. We're almost at the end now. One, maybe two more chapters. I suppose I should have some wedding night loving, too!_


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

**Wedding Night Interlude**

Elissa smiled as she placed her very sated and sleepy baby into Tia's arms. The mage and her son were staying in an adjoining room where Tia could care for Catalina, allowing Elissa and Zevran the privacy of one night, completely alone, before heading back to the Keep to pack up and say their farewells.

As Tia gently cradled his daughter, Zevran leaned in and kissed the baby's forehead. "Sueño bien, mi gatita pequeña. Your papa loves you very much." While enjoying the tender sight, Elissa couldn't help but notice Zevran's finger trace down Catalina's tiny ear, and she wondered what he was thinking.

"Thank you, Tia." Elissa held Catalina's hand and kissed each little finger. "I love you, my sweet baby."

"Goodnight, and best wishes, again." The mage left with a nod and a knowing smirk.

Elissa eyed the back of Zevran's head as he watched the door close. "I can feel you staring at me, my love. What is your question?" Zevran took a sip of the Antivan wine he had purchased downstairs at the inn's taproom.

Caught, she absently began to survey their room at the Crown and Lion, sipping her wine as well. "Oh, nothing really. I just wondered…does it…bother you?"

"Does what bother me?" Zevran turned, looking at her, and spotted her glancing at his ear. "Ah. Does it bother me that _your_ ears are not pointed? No, it does not. How can you ask me a question such as that?"

"I…no, I'm sorry. The way you touched her ear, I thought…ugh, it was stupid of me to think that..."

He sighed. "My dear, I simply touched her ear because it is…so small, so adorable. I realize why you might _think _I would prefer a child with elven features but, like you, I am _not _a racist. She is a part of you and a part of me, the two most wonderful people I know. Our daughter is a beautiful gift to be treasured and nothing less."

"Yes, you're right. I meant no offense, Zevran, really." Elissa cheeks heated with embarrassment. "I've pulled my foot out of my mouth. Let's forget I ever said that, agreed? "

A forgiving smile formed on his lips and Zevran took her hands, pressing them to his heart. "Agreed." They both knew a half human and half elven child was frowned upon, but they were prepared to do everything in their power to assure Catalina was safe from the intolerance that resided in the hearts of people all across Thedas. Not wanting a conversation about the future struggles Catalina might endure, he changed the subject. "Now, what shall we do with the rest of our night? Play card games, read poetry?"

"Ha, you're joking!" She wrapped her arms around him and whispered softly against his ear. "I can think of some things I'd like to do to _you_…if you're of a mind."

"You know, amor, you are deliciously gorgeous when you are attempting seduction," he said, poking a finger into her side. "And you seem so happy. I wonder why that is."

"_Attempting_ seduction? Very funny." She tried to shift away from his roaming fingers. "It must be the marital bliss thing that everyone talks about," she offered. His hands drifted down to her thighs and his kisses barely touched her collarbone. "Maker, that tickles! Stop that!"

"Marital bliss? Bah! We've only been married a few hours. Surely, it is my mere presence that has you in such high spirits." She twitched as she moved to escape the tickling, and Zevran looked at her with a most devilish grin."Oh, you are even more ticklish than I realized! Or maybe you are giddy with anticipation of the thrills you are to experience on this, our wedding night."

"It's just…well…you scoundrel!" she stammered, grasping for an explanation. "My ticklishness is a weak point I care _not_ to discuss right now."

"Ah, not a weakness, my dear. Just one of your many enchanting qualities," he stated, pulling her closer. She was an angelic vision in a flowing white chemise that begged removal to reveal the body he worshipped. He gathered the soft material into his hands, carefully drawing it up and over her head, and she stood naked, facing her new husband. Her tresses drifted down her cool bare back, and she relished his warmth radiating onto her skin. Zevran's eyes skimmed over her body, taking inventory.

His gaze came to rest on her ample bosom. "You are chilly, my dear?" He raised a suggestive eyebrow and moved closer.

"Please, touch me," she begged wantonly. "Touch me…everywhere."

His hands traced up from her stomach, covering her breasts with his palms and he massaged her, pinching the peak of desire that rested between his fingers. He inclined his head and his tongue suckled the exposed nipple. Elissa squeaked a gasp, her chest heaving a bit. With eyes half-lidded, she fell deeper into the passion, feeling the tingles of desire from her head to her toes.

Elissa disrobed him then, her fair hands on his bronzed skin, and anxiously removed his shirt to trail her fingers from his stomach up to his broad shoulders and down his strong arms. She unlaced his breeches and they fell to the floor; naturally, he wore no small clothes. He kicked the pants away and the sight of his arousal increased her impatience. "Such a minx, seeing me so excited, and touching me as you are…does that...make you wet?"

"Very wet, indeed…Oh, Zevran," she breathed with a wicked smile, "I want you inside me…now."

In a frenzied motion, she pushed him down onto his back, flat out on the bed. She sprawled atop his body, kissing him, pressing her breasts against his chest, and her hands threaded through his hair. He could feel her dampness on his stomach as she straddled him and he contented himself for a moment by placing his hands on her buttocks, kneading the firmness of her flesh.

There was something different about this time. Of course it wasn't purity, but a knowledge that they belonged to each other, each possessing the other's body and soul. The closeness of their flesh had enveloped them fully and everything in their past was forgotten. What remained was an untainted partnership that no words, no people or creatures, could tear asunder.

Zevran rolled Elissa onto her back, hovering over her on all fours. She watched as he reached down to brush over her wetness. He thrust his fingers into her, her hips bucking against his hand, and she spread her thighs further, inviting her husband to join with her. Slowly and deliberately, he drove his full length into her and she trembled beneath him.

Zevran stayed there, completely buried in her, feeling the unrestrained contractions of her skin on his. It was familiar yet different, and he looked at his wife's face as she smiled below him, a smile beckoning for a kiss. His lips pressed to hers and gradually, he started to roll his hips and he studied her face. One moment, her lids were closed, mouth slightly agape, and the next, she looked into his eyes with primal lust.

Underneath her beloved, Elissa started to feel the vibrations of an approaching climax. She moaned, her legs gripping around his waist, and she grabbed the sheets under her as her back arched. Her libidinous growls encouraged him to move harder and faster, and she cried out, "Zevran…don't stop…ahh!"

Just when she thought he was already exerting his all, he went faster and deeper with powerful motions. In every thrust, she felt a rush of pleasure unlike any she had ever felt before. It rippled across her body, until all her muscles thickened and burned.

Almost at the peak, her shouts were muffled by Zevran's mouth landing on her lips with a feral kiss. Elissa felt a pleasure past the point of ecstasy, and her muscles convulsed with release. As the pleasure receded, she could hear the slap of his skin against hers.

She opened her eyes. He had slowed down, but he was not done. Immediately, desire flooded her mind again and her body resumed movement. This time, she would not stay underneath him and she tried to untangle her legs.

"Are you tired?" She panted heavily as she gathered her strength.

"Me? No, and I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, but, what are you-"

"Be silent, husband," she interrupted. The coy smile she wore sent a shiver down his spine, and he had to stop himself from coming into her right at that instant. He withdrew and fell on his back, breathing heavily, feeling the blood pulsing in his member. Elissa shifted on the bed and she reached out, carefully taking a hold of him, stroking his length.

She bent her face close and kissed the tip once before tracing its span with her tongue. With every curve, she moved her tongue in small, circular motions, up and down, noticing with some delight that he was holding his breath in absolute self-restraint. She stroked with her hand and tasted with her mouth before the desire to feel him inside of her consumed her again. On her knees, steadying her body on his thighs, she inclined forward for re-entry. She pressed herself down, and his girth filled her once more.

From her elevated position, Elissa watched Zevran's reaction as she rolled her hips, covering his full length from base to tip and back again. She bent down to kiss him deeply, pressing her chest to his. She could feel his hands massaging her hips and her buttocks, and then he moved up to her breasts. He bucked up instinctively, but she was in control, taking his arms and pinning them above his head.

She rode him, slow and easy, savoring the unity she had created. Her strength was fading, and for a moment, she wanted to fall into his arms, but she pressed on.

Zevran was nearing his climax and his grunts and thrusting motions became louder and faster. With a sudden burst of energy, she was on her hands and knees, her breasts swaying over him as she shivered with pleasure. All their exertions were at a maximum and nothing could tear their bodies apart.

"I love you," Zevran gasped as he jerked her closer, feeling her weight collapse on him as he made his deepest thrust yet.

"Zevran! Oh, mmnmph…yes!" Her immodest shrieks propelled him over the edge as he slammed into her, thrashing and mumbling words of love. He cried out her name as he exploded into a shattering climax, and shuddered as the aftershocks of his orgasm consumed him.

The last of her strength was gone and she fell onto him, every muscle in her body contracting, quivering. Zevran held her, keeping her connected to him before she finally gathered the strength to roll off him, both feeling only pure love and ecstasy that had reached its maximum height.

As their breathing slowed, they moved to face each other in one simultaneous motion.

"Oh wow, Zevran. That was…mind-boggling," she giggled softly.

"Elissa, my dove, you take my breath away." His hand drifted over her cheek and he held her face closer to his. "Is it possible that I have fallen in love with you all over again?"

"Like I said before, marital bliss." She laid her head on the pillow, stroking his forearm idly. "Perhaps a nap is in order, before the next round of transcendental love-making."

"Yes, a nap would rejuvenate us." Elissa snuggled closer to Zevran and he curved his arm around her waist. "It _is_ paradise, here with you. Te amo, my beautiful wife."

Repressing a yawn, she whispered, "I love you too, my handsome husband."

_A/N: True to my word, a little fluffy smut since my next update will take a while. I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you to everyone reviewing/alerting/faving and reading! _

_Sueño bien, mi gatita pequeña. – Sleep well, my little kitten._


	32. The Calm Before

**Chapter 32**

**The Calm Before**

"So, you _are_ here."

Elissa looked up at Alistair, who appeared most regal in a royal blue waistcoat and _very_ close-fitting breeches. "You look quite handsome, Ser." She grinned at him scandalously, and then thought better of it. "Who told you I was here?"

"Who do you think? I'm surprised Zev was so forthcoming with your location though. Marriage has softened the assassin."

"Yes, well he is no longer an assassin…for hire. And, it wasn't marriage that softened him, Alistair, it was me, but don't tell him that! Come and sit." She patted the spot on the roof next to her with her hand. "It's so peaceful here at first light. Doesn't it remind you of the parapets at the castle…your castle?"

"Yes, that it does." Alistair took a seat next to her, glancing at her sunlit face as she gazed at the colors of dawn. "I… Elissa, I will miss you…when you ride off into the Antivan sun." Alistair forced his eyes to look at the distant forest.

"We'll be safest there, you know." She turned to face him and placed her hand atop his tenderly. "And you, a father by the snows. I think fatherhood will suit you perfectly." She was proud of her King, Ferelden's King, and deep in her heart, she wished only for him to be content, surrounded by those who were lucky enough to love him and be loved by him. "Alistair, promise me one thing. Promise me that you won't go alone…to Orzammar. I know it's years away, but…just go with someone, anyone, just not alone, alright?"

Alistair nodded, his lips quirking a bit at her sudden melancholy. "I imagine the elf will be at your side."

"I'm sure I'll spend the next 25 or so years convincing him otherwise," she said as her eyes fell to her hands. She twirled her ring and then sat up straight, composed. "So, it seems you are on speaking terms with Zevran. Fate _is_ a tricky whore, hm?"

"Stealing my lines again!" Fresh from a bath, a well-groomed Zevran appeared behind Elissa and Alistair. "If by speaking terms you mean threats to dismember me should anything ill befall you, then yes, we are speaking."

Alistair couldn't help but chuckle softly. "As long as you are safe and healthy, your Antivan will continue to be a…manly man."

The trio laughed in unison, a moment Elissa knew she would never forget. "How ironic it is to be here laughing with you two. Each of you changed my life…altered its course. You are the two men whom I have loved most in this world, and I thank you both for tolerating my need to keep both of you in my life."

"Now, now. This is no time for blubbering, my dear." Zevran put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "We can put this off no longer. I think it best if we say our goodbyes and move along."

Zevran was anxious to get underway and begin their new adventure. She needed that extra nudge from him and she sighed, accepting that it was time to go. "I know. Our ship awaits."

Alistair stole a look at the couple as Zevran held her hand and helped her to her feet. He had no interest in getting up and watching her leave him once again.

She knew Alistair well enough to be aware of his reluctance to see them off, but he had to say goodbye to free his heart for future love. Feeling plucky, Elissa jabbed her finger to the back of Alistair's head. "Get a move on, your Majesty."

Alistair could barely manage a smile, wishing he were the one taking her away to begin a new life. Alas, they were not meant to be in this lifetime. Alistair sighed. "You two go ahead. I'll be there shortly."

Elissa and Zevran left Alistair alone with his memories, some good and some bad, but all still memories he would cherish forever.

* * *

Saying goodbye proved more difficult than Elissa had imagined. It was especially hard to leave Anders for not only had he saved their relationship, but he had saved them from certain death at least twice and Zevran had become fast friends with the mage.

Elissa rushed through the ranks to hasten the difficult process, embracing each of her friends warmly. When the hugging ended, she handed each a note, asking them to read it after she had disappeared from sight. The Arainai family, along with Tia and her son, departed the throne room and walked towards their waiting carriage. Elissa never looked back.

Next to the cask, Oghren pulled a tall ale into his glass and sighed. He would miss Elissa and her elf, as they were by far the most accepting of his ways while they travelled together during the Blight. Oghren and Zevran shared bad jokes and ogled women throughout the whole of Ferelden. Thinking back to Orzammar, a pang of guilt settled in Oghren's stomach. Elissa was there to comfort him, drink with him, and be abused by him after Branka died, and he never thanked her for it. "Sodding woman and her swishy elf. Eh, two less armed lunatics following me around." Oghren held up his drink. "Here's to you, Warden." He drank the ale in one never-ending swallow and put his glass down before reading her note.

_My Friend and Fellow Dragon Slayer, Oghren,_

_Take care of yourself, dwarf. If you should ever find yourself in Antiva, Zevran and I (and a bevy of beauties) will show you a good time! That is an open invitation, by the way._

_I will miss your laughter, Oghren._

_Your Friend and Occasional Drinking Companion,_

_Elissa_

The Arainai family waved goodbye to Alistair and Anders as their coach left the grounds. Tia sat next to Elissa as she cradled Catalina in her arms. Tia's son Carlo sat with Zevran and the young mage gleefully admired the Talisman of Restoration that Anders had given him as a parting gift.

Alistair returned to the roof, and from his vantage point, he could just about see the carriage as it disappeared from view. "Goodbye, my love," he whispered. Sitting there alone, he let a few tears fall for the past, and then he smiled for the future, a future with his unborn heir, Maker willing.

_My Dear King Alistair Theirin,_

_Should your royal duties ever subside, or send you to Antiva, please bring your family for a visit. We could sit by campfire and talk about old times, or new ones. I promise to feed you well and keep our good King safe from assassins._

_I owe you my life, Alistair. You saved me when we met in Ostagar and I will never regret knowing you as I have. Many of my other regrets run deep, and you know what they are already so I won't bore you with the details. All I ask is that you believe me when I say you are always, __always__ in my heart, Alistair. May the Maker keep you safe and never lacking for fine cheese._

_Your Humble Servant and Friend,_

_Elissa_

Six recruits on horseback were accompanying them to Amaranthine City to buy supplies for the Keep. Once there, Elissa and her familial entourage would board a ship sailing for Antiva.

Anders sat by the window holding the note between two fingers. Zevran was the closest thing to a best friend he had ever had and saying goodbye was no easy task for the mage. Anders knew his actions had saved their relationship and he was proud to tell that story. However, the telling of the tale lost some of its appeal as the couple left Amaranthine to start a new life. Still, Anders smiled. Elissa had saved Anders from death at the hands of the templars, and he was more grateful to her than he let on at times, but she knew the truth.

_Anders, My Dear Mage,_

_I will miss you most of all. Please visit us in Antiva and perhaps move there if you grow tired of Amaranthine (hint, hint). There are no words to thank you for all you have done. Zevran and I are eternally in your debt, my friend. Watch over Nathaniel, as he will need your guidance, strength and humor in the days to come._

_Live gloriously and be happy, Anders._

_Ever your friend,_

_Elissa_

Elissa bounced about on the seat and grimaced. "Happy, mi amor?" Zevran grinned at her as she held Catalina tightly, keeping her little head from bobbing.

"Very happy." Elissa tipped her head and blew Zevran a kiss. "Although I'd be happier if this confounded carriage didn't jostle my innards so!"

As the carriage disappeared from his sight, Nathaniel walked away from the armory doors and made his way into the throne room to sit in a corner, the same corner that once held the portrait of his mother that Elissa had disposed of for him. He could still picture Elissa's unhappy smile as she shook his hand and turned to walk away, and the words she spoke the night before ran through his head in a sad monologue.

"While I still think you will make a fine Commander, your actions regarding my husband have saddened me greatly. I thought we were friends, Nathaniel. I thought you cared for me, but it seems your pride came before our friendship. A friend would not have subjected me to the anguish your fight with Zevran caused. I forgive you, but I will not forget. I'm sorry. I only hope I don't regret choosing you for this position. Please try to let common sense rule your decision-making and not vanity or pride. I wish you well."

"You will not regret your decision, Liss. I promise to uphold the Grey Warden oath and make you proud of me again...someday. If I could change-"

"You can't. Good luck."

_Nathaniel,_

_I am sure as the new Commander of the Grey Wardens you will serve your people well. I have every confidence in your abilities, Nathaniel. Maker preserve you, and the people you serve._

_Elissa_

A lone mourning dove flew across the rafters of the throne room as the crowd dispersed. It came to rest near the entryway and its sad song echoed throughout the halls. Nathaniel walked to the entryway and opened the large wooden doors, allowing the wandering bird to find its home.

* * *

Elissa and Zevran settled into a new life, a normal life some might say. They watched Catalina skip in the sand picking shells from the beaches on Rialto Bay while Kai followed the toddler's quick steps, always steering her away from the water's edge. Their life was relaxed and pleasant, save for the occasional assassination attempt, and those were handled with expertise and swiftness.

They continued to hone their sparring skills, together. Zevran would not allow them to lose their talents to laziness or overindulgence, harsh taskmaster that he was. Never lacking for mischievous games, Elissa and Zevran would take turns pick pocketing the rich and corrupt, the merchant princes, as they strolled through the village marketplace. They turned in every valuable they collected to the local Chantry stipulating that the funds be distributed to children left without family to care for them. Large anonymous donations were made to the homeless children's fund, keeping many of the orphans from being recruited by the Crows.

As the years passed, fate did not present another child to the couple. They doted on Catalina, who was every bit her father's _and_ her mother's daughter, taking easily to training with two blades, albeit wooden ones. Confident and brazen, Catalina loved to show up the local children of lesser talent, much to her father's delight. However, she spent most of her free time honing her favorite skill - stealth.

* * *

As she had on past occasions, Catalina snuck up on her father and snatched the latest target of her fascination, running to hide in a place Zevran rarely frequented in their lavish villa. Catalina was fast, too fast Zevran said as he chased after her when she ran off with his favorite whetstone.

Finally, he caught the stealthy child, picking her up and cuddling her in his arms. "So sneaky, my kitten. You are just like your mamá."

Catalina kissed her father on the cheek and giggled. "Mamá finds me faster than you do. Why are you so slow, Papá?"

Elissa chuckled as she walked into the large storage room carrying a crate of fine wine. "Yes, Zevran, tell us why you're so slow." Her eyebrows waggled as she teased her husband. "Have you pulled a muscle…or perhaps stubbed a toe?"

Zevran narrowed his eyes with a mischievous gaze. "Slow, you say?" Zevran set Catalina down on the floor, and whispered into his daughter's ear. "Just watch your papá now."

Zevran spun around, bending at the waist to seize Elissa, his left arm behind her knees and the other at her lower back, and he raised her into the air.

Elissa squealed as Zevran twirled her in circles, his feet spinning round in a blur. "Zevran, put me down, you scoundrel!"

"Papá, go faster!" Catalina shouted as she jumped up and down.

Elissa had given up her usual braid in favor of wearing her hair loose, letting it fall where it may. Her wavy locks flew out as he continued to whirl, and Zevran grinned with devilish pleasure. He stopped with a screech of his boots on the wooden floor and Elissa flushed with excitement. He drank in her smile, sweet and provocative at the same time, and he landed a scorching kiss on her lips, a kiss that boasted desire.

"Ew, Papá! No kissing," their daughter cried.

"Ah, but I cannot help myself, kitten. Your mamá _needs_ to be kissed, and often."

The whole of Elissa hummed with desire, wanting to feel his hands on her, needing to feel his warm skin pressed against hers.

She shouted for the mage. "Tia! Watch Catalina, please!"

Zevran carried his wife to their room as fast as his legs would allow and dropped her onto the bed, crawling to lie beside her. "Allow me," he purred, quickly removing every stitch of her clothing, and then he threw off his own.

Elissa questioned him in a mocking tone. "Did Catalina's teasing wound your pride, my handsome rogue?"

"Ha ha. So droll, you are," he said wryly. "But, if this is the end result, I think my pride can suffer on occasion."

"You are such a li-" A forceful kiss shut her right up.

* * *

"Alistair!" Elissa threw her arms around his broad shoulders as he attempted to walk into the atrium without being knocked down.

"Whoa! You almost took me out, Elissa! Could it be that you are even stronger now than you were 11 years ago?"

"Sí, she is quite a powerful woman these days. Daily workouts," he said wiggling his brows suggestively. Zevran sauntered towards Alistair with an outstretched hand and the two men shook firmly. "And who is your lovely companion, Alistair?"

She was gorgeous, dark and sultry with the golden eyes of a tiger. Chestnut hair accented with auburn framed her heart shaped face and her olive skin glowed of sun kisses. She was Antivan of all things, and Elissa laughed to herself at the irony of it all. Alistair took the woman's hand and made the formal introductions. "This beautiful woman beside me is Sophia Morenti, the daughter of one of the wealthiest and most honest royals in all Antiva. She is also my betrothed."

"Oh, Alistair! Why didn't tell me that in your letter? Sneaky man." Elissa glanced at Zevran who seemed to be memorizing every inch of the voluptuous woman before him. "Zevran! Snap out of it!"

"Ah, yes. My dear Sophia," Zevran said as he raised her hand to his lips, leaving a sweet kiss, "it is truly a pleasure to meet such an exquisite example of the regal ladies Antiva has to offer. Allow me to take you on a tour of what is to be your home for the next few days." After exchanging pleasantries with Elissa, Zevran linked his arm with Sophia's whispering Maker knows what in her ear. Zevran smirked and winked at Elissa before striding away with Alistair's fiancé.

"Um, I shouldn't be worried…right?" Elissa smiled brightly and shook her head. "Right. So, it's good to see you, Elissa."

"Father! Look at this urchin girl I found outside!" Elissa and Alistair turned to the boy holding Catalina's dirty hand.

"That is _no_ urchin. She is my daughter, Catalina," Elissa corrected, somewhat annoyed by the boys' name-calling. "Catalina, how many times have I told you to stay out of the dirt pile in the garden? Go clean yourself up before your father sees you and has a fit," she chided.

"Yes, Mamá." Covered from head to toe in filth, the little girl pulled her hand away and skipped off as dust billowed out of her long blonde hair.

Elissa and Alistair shared a knowing look. "Children these days...And who is _this _handsome young man?"

"Allow me to introduce you to my son." Alistair placed his hands on his son's shoulders and moved him to stand before Elissa. "Son, this is the great Hero of Ferelden, Elissa Cousland…I mean Elissa Arainai." Alistair glanced at Elissa, but she didn't mind his slip.

"I am pleased to meet you, Lady Arainai. My name is Duncan Riordan Theirin," he said proudly. Elissa stared at the boy, the spitting image of his father._ Of course, Duncan would be the name Alistair chose for a son_, she thought.

"You were named after two very proud and noble men as I'm sure your father has told you. It's nice to finally meet you, Ser Duncan." Elissa got on her knees and embraced the boy, and he squirmed in her arms. When she set him free, Duncan looked up at Alistair with curious eyes.

"Alright son, you may go explore," he said and waved his hand in the same direction Catalina ran. The boy sprinted away giggling.

"He's a fine boy, Alistair. He looks…" A lump formed in Elissa's throat, preventing her from saying more.

Alistair didn't notice Elissa's brief moment of lament. "Just like me? Yes, but he has his mother's pale complexion."

Elissa took Alistair's hand and swallowed thickly. "Alistair, I was very saddened to hear of Anora's death, more so because of the child that was taken to the Maker at the same time."

Alistair hung his head for a moment and then spoke quietly. "Thank you. Duncan took Anora's death very hard, as you could imagine. He's better now though. Time passes, things change. Sophia has been a rock, for both of us and Duncan loves her, as do I."

"I'm so pleased that you have someone to share a life with, Alistair." Elissa squeezed his hand and gestured to the hallway. "Anyway, let's go find my husband and your fiancé before either one tells embarrassing stories about us. I'll take you to your rooms and you both can rest and freshen up before supper."

Two hours later, the dining room bustled with activity. One servant was preparing the table, laying out platters of fruits and breads and arranging plates and utensils while another servant placed bottles of the Arainai's finest wines at specific seating intervals all under the direction of Elissa's keen eye for hosting. Zevran kept watch over the kitchen staff ensuring everything ran smoothly and all the foods were prepared and cooked to perfection.

Zevran left his post to stroll up behind Elissa, snaking his arms around her waist. "You look more delicious than all of the bountiful fare I have seen tonight. May I have a taste, amor?"

Elissa beamed as she turned to face him while he held her. "You, my dear husband, may devour the entire spread." A fire lit in his eyes as she bent her head back and pressed her throat to his lips. "No marks, Zevran. At least not while His Majesty is here," she breathed.

Zevran's tongue darted out and crossed her neck with slow swirls before coming to rest on her lips. "You _are_ tasty. Such a minx, teasing me so. Are you sure we cannot miss dinner?"

Zevran's hand smoothed across her full bosom and her breath hitched. Her mouth kissed along an imaginary line from his jaw, past his cheek and up his temple and she stopped to nibble the tip of his ear. "Mm, you're very appetizing, Zevran, but no…I think this will have to wait until after dinner…then we can have dessert, alone."

His voice grew deep and feral as he caressed her thighs. "I shall pour Orlesian honey over you and drink greedily from your sweet nectar until you beg me to stop." His mouth captured hers and their tongues drove deep and fast as they kissed.

"Ahem! Wow, nothing has changed I see." Alistair and Sophia stood in the doorway of the dining room grinning.

Elissa peeled herself off Zevran's chest and blushed. "Oh…I'm sorry. Sophia, Alistair, did you…um..."

Zevran cut in and deflected the attention to him to allow Elissa to recover from her embarrassment. "It seems my charming wife is…tongue-tied, yes?" Elissa scowled at Zevran's choice of words, but as he led Alistair and Sophia to the table, a wave of emotion pulsed through her and her expression turned dreamlike. She marveled at her assassin as he charmed the couple the entire way to the table, and her heart swelled with such adoration she thought she might faint.

"My love, come and sit. Supper is about to be served." Zevran held out the chair for her and pushed it back in as Elissa sat down. He bent over to whisper in her ear seductively. "I know that look, my dear, and I intend to make all your dreams come true later tonight."

Elissa's eyes met his and she smiled blissfully. "_You_ are my dream come true, Zevran. I love you."

Zevran smiled wide for her as Alistair and Sophia busied themselves with their napkins. "Te quiero, mi paloma."

"Don't you two ever stop with the…touching and lovey-dovey talk?" Alistair questioned from his seat at the head of the dining table.

Sophia's richly accented voice chimed over the spread. "Oh, Alistair dear, leave them be. It is refreshing to see two people who actually love each other unconditionally and are not afraid to display their emotions."

"Hm. I suppose you're right, Sophia. It is…inspiring." Alistair's eyes locked on Sophia's face and he leaned in to kiss her passionately, much to her delight. "Please, continue," he said looking back at Elissa and Zevran.

"Alistair, it is good to see that your Antivan sweetheart has taught you a few things about public displays of affection, yes?" Zevran said as he pulled out his chair.

"Let's just say I now understand what all the fuss was regarding your…romantic skills, Zev." They all laughed as the servants poured wine and the food began to emerge from the kitchen.

Zevran sat next to Elissa at the other end of the table. "Comamos! Let's eat!"

After drinking several bottles of wine and consuming too much food, their reunion supper ended when Alistair loosened his breeches. "That was a truly delicious meal. I might never fit into these clothes again," Alistair said shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "Elissa and Zev, thank you for your generosity of spirit tonight. I think I shall retire to my opulent chambers and go to sleep."

"No, no, my dear. No sleep for you." Sophia turned up her lips and looked at Elissa and Zevran, her gaze gleaming with mischief. "I mean no disrespect, you understand, but Alistair and I are never alone in the castle. You would not mind if we shared a room, would you?"

"Not at all!" Elissa and Zevran said in chorus. Zevran's smile was roguishly bright as he spoke. "My dear Sophia, it is in Ferelden's best interest to keep our handsome King Alistair satisfied and content. We could never refuse such a request."

Alistair's cheeks turned every shade of red as he cleared his throat. "Yes, well…thank you, Zev." He rose from his chair and entwined his fingers with Sophia's. "Goodnight. Elissa, Zev." Sophia sashayed alongside the King as they left the dining room and Alistair's head shook from side to side as he mumbled to his betrothed.

Elissa and Zevran heard Sophia's immodest laughter until the couple slammed the door to their guest chambers. "Now, my love. What say we retire for the evening as well?" Zevran grabbed a half-empty bottle of wine and two glasses as he stood up. "All this risqué talk has me in the mood for love."

"Risqué talk…The only risqué talk must be in your naughty thoughts, Zevran. Just give me a moment to get that honey from the pantry, or are you too full for dessert?" she asked playfully.

Zevran placed his palms on her cheeks and brought her face to his. His words drifted to her ear like a warm breeze. "I purposely did _not_ overeat to leave room for the sweetest dish of all, and I intend to enjoy every morsel of your luscious ambrosia, amor."

Elissa felt weak kneed, light in the head, but mustered enough energy to sprint for the pantry. "Race you!"

"Ah! You minx!" Zevran ran after her and followed her to the pantry, where Elissa snatched the jar of honey and Zevran left the wine bottle and glasses. He raced after her, up the hallway to their chambers where they collapsed on the bed together. "As quick as ever, Elissa. But the rest of our activities shall be unhurried and far more breathtaking than a dash through the villa."

"And thankfully, you are a man of your word. I do love you so, Zevran Arainai," she said softly. Elissa stretched out on the bed, her eyes demanding that he remove her dress immediately. She handed him the jar of honey and licked her plump lips. "Come. Prepare your dessert for tasting."

Zevran tore the dress from her body and wantonly eyed her naked form. She squirmed with anticipation as his hands drifted across her body from one hip to the other. "You are quite randy tonight, yes?" he said as he opened the jar.

As the amber liquid poured onto her breasts, Elissa's breathing became ragged and her fingers tightened around the sheets. Zevran held his pinky under the stream of honey and then placed it in her mouth and her tongue swirled around his knuckle, sucking the sweet juice until it was gone.

Her chest flushed with desire as he removed his finger and traced along the plane of her stomach. He moved his head down and his lips kissed her navel, his tongue darting out to capture the honey pooling within. "Shall I continue downstream?" he asked gazing at her telling expression.

"If you don't," she breathed heavily, "I will not be held responsible for my actions."

Zevran grinned wickedly and assaulted her with hungry lips. As his tongue lapped at the thick fluid, her hips rose to meet his mouth and she moaned for more. She trembled as she neared her climax, unable to speak clearly or form a sentence. "Ungh…ah, yes…mmm…Zevran…yes!"

Zevran lifted his head and licked his lips, a smug grin growing larger by the second. "Muy delicioso, amor. A very succulent dessert, indeed."

Eventually, her breathing steadied and she sat up, resting her body against the backboard. "You can thank the cook later. Right now, I want _you_ to get naked and stretch out on the bed so I can prepare _my_ dessert."

Zevran's clothes were off before she could blink twice and he pushed her aside, sprawling on the bed like a cat in the sun. "Feast away, my dove," he said wiggling his hips.

Elissa tipped the jar to let the honey flow into her cupped hand. After putting the honey back on the nightstand, she rubbed her palms together and studied his developing arousal. "Hm. I see you're not quite _al diente _yet. Let's fix that, shall we?"

* * *

Elissa sat in the garden with her eyes closed and her face turned up to the sun. She breathed in the scent of the midsummer flowers in bloom as Zevran approached silently. He paused by the garden gate to admire her beauty. She was as striking at present as she was 28 years ago when they married. Her hair had more white now, and his hair had even more, but her body was yet firm and strong, ever worthy of his worship. She was slightly darker than when they had first arrived in Rialto, the Antivan sun having done its job, but her skin remained supple and smooth, demanding to be touched.

He crept towards her grinning, and then spoke as if she were 20 paces away. "Lost in thought, my sweet?"

Elissa's eyes flew open wide. "Oh! Zevran! Will you never cease to startle me?"

"I should hope not." He sat on the bench, pressing his hip against hers. His hand came from behind his back and he held out a bouquet of lavender. "For you, my lovely one. Your favorite…"

"Oh, such a romantic, even now. They're beautiful, Zevran." She put the lavender to her nose. "Mm, truly, it is my favorite flower of all. Thank you."

"You are most welcome." He slapped his hands on his thighs once and gazed at her intently. "So, tell me what has you so enraptured that a part-time rogue such as me can sneak up and surprise you."

"I was thinking of Catalina, and her boys."

"Yes, I miss them too. However, she is in good hands. It was inevitable, you know." He sensed her misgivings about the couple, misgivings solely based on age.

"Carlo is nine years older than Catalina. I just hope their age difference won't be a problem some day."

"Was _our_ age difference ever a problem? How soon you forget, Elissa."

She snickered and poked his shoulder. "You _were_ older than me when I met you, but he will age and…die before her. Besides, it was different for us."

"How so? When you're in love, what does age matter, my dear? They grew up together, and Carlo was like a son to me then, as he is now." Zevran tucked stray curls behind her ear, smiling at her earring as it glittered in the sunlight. "You worry too much. They are a fine match."

"True enough. I wish Tia were here to see them, her son's progeny, her grandchildren. She would be so proud..." Elissa trailed off, a few tears falling from her eyes. The ever-present mage contracted an illness no magic could cure and had died two months before Catalina and Tia's son Carlo were to be married. The young couple had two boys by their third year of marriage and Elissa and Zevran spoiled their grandsons with all the toys and treats that an eight and a six-year-old boy would love.

Catalina and Carlo had moved to Denerim, away from the watchful eyes of the Crows. Carlo quickly became a most sought after healing mage, working mainly for King Alistair and his royal Court, but occasionally acting on behalf of the Chantry. Their departure saddened Elissa more than any event in her life had, and she missed them tremendously.

"I am sure Tia sees all. I think she was a bit…otherworldly, no?" Zevran brushed her tears away and gazed into the bright blue eyes he adored. "Imagine if we had met as children?"

"Yes, just imagine. And in what situation would that have occurred?" she asked sarcastically. Elissa looked up at the sun and sighed, feeling weary from the heat. She focused her eyes on him and cupped his cheek, barely turning up her lips to smile. "If we had, we would've had that much more time together. What I can only hope for is a few more years before-"

"No! Do not speak of that, not yet," he said bitterly. Zevran grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close, utterly incapable of thinking past that moment. His lips fell onto hers with a slow, sensual kiss and she whimpered into his mouth.

Elissa withdrew from his embrace, tingling with stimulation. "You certainly know how to change the subject, Zevran. Shall we move this into our chambers then?"

Zevran rose up, taking her hand in his, and led the way through the garden gate. "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

Alistair had gone to the Deep Roads two years prior, but not before visiting Antiva with another Grey Warden whose time had also come – Nathaniel Howe. As death loomed before them, past wounds and harsh words were forgotten. They laughed and drank, and talked of another lifetime, of brothers and sisters in arms battling demons and dragons.

It was a bittersweet reunion, lasting only three days, and Zevran held Elissa when she cried for three more after Alistair and Nathaniel left for Orzammar. All Wardens knew the taint affected everyone differently, and Elissa was thankful the Maker saw fit to keep her alive a little longer. Subsequently, she pushed the Calling away from her thoughts and went on living blissfully for a time, naive to the subtle changes only her assassin could see.

As the months wore on, one thing was agonizingly plain to Zevran; Elissa was living on borrowed time.

* * *

The spring of her fifty-fourth year came, and then the summer and when the dreams became more hostile and vividly terrifying, Zevran summoned Catalina and her family to Rialto. Elissa thought it was too soon to bring them to Antiva for surely she had many more months, but Zevran insisted, for the changes in her demeanor were distressing. Reluctantly, Elissa agreed, if only to soothe _his_ worries.

"Death is certain, just as life is," he said, burying his damp cheeks in her hair. "One cannot exist without the other. The only thing you can do is live your life with no regrets, only enthusiasm and passion, as we have."

_**A/N:**__ A big thank you to the ridiculously awesome __**Biff McLaughlin**__! Without her input and wise words, this chapter would have been a convoluted mess. Also, much thanks to everyone reviewing/alerting/faving and reading! _

_I hope this chapter wrapped things up well enough for you readers. The final (I can't believe it!) chapter, __**Feast of the Fallen**__, will be posted fairly soon. We all know what awaits the Grey Warden, thanks to that damn taint._


	33. Feast of the Fallen

**Feast of the Fallen**

_Denial_.

Elissa's spirit had grown increasingly malicious, and when her temper flared, it was as blistering as molten lead. All she needed was some time alone, time to enjoy nature and all it had to offer, to feel the sun's warmth on her cheeks while she gardened, to hear the soft whinnies of newborn colts in the stable. She just needed a little time to get healthier, to feel normal again.

Distracted by her self-imposed mission, she never noticed Zevran tracking her movements or observing her from atop a high branch. Watching in the shadows, his heart ached as she endeavored to exorcise her demons. Whether she was tearing apart sparring dummies for hours, or taking brisk directionless walks through the orange groves, he followed her undetected.

Alone on the beach, she tried meditating, but found she couldn't clear her mind enough; her thoughts were too scattered and confused. At the end of each day, she was left even more puzzled, more annoyed than she had been before she set out.

Elissa swept up the broken glass, an empty wine bottle she had hurled at the wall while scolding a servant girl. Having just spit out some stale bread onto her plate, a fiery rage powered through Elissa's body and she threw the decanter, barely missing the timid girl's head.

"That stupid girl should have known better!" she shouted. "You can't rely on anyone around here," she said waving her hand dismissively. Why she had reacted so strongly to such a minor inconvenience, Elissa didn't know or care to understand.

Zevran sighed, eyeing his frustrated wife. "You can rely on me, amor," he said tenderly, and then turned his attention to the servant. "Lina, you may go. Take the rest of the evening off, no worries, alright?" Zevran smiled warmly at the young girl and she nodded before fleeing from the dining room.

"You were too easy on her, Zevran. We pay her good coin to do her job properly, but when she slips up, you give her the night off! That makes no sense!" she bellowed as she punched the broom on the floor punctuating her frustration.

Zevran's hands reached out and he began massaging the front of her shoulders. He could feel her muscles tense and then relax as his eyes penetrated her distant stare. "It is of no consequence, that one loaf, and the girl does not deserve your wrath, amor. It was an innocent mistake. Please tell me, tell me what is _really_ bothering you tonight?"

She rolled her shoulders, suddenly sidestepping away from him and Zevran's hands pulled back, empty. Lifting a water goblet with her free hand, she put the glass to her lips and sipped. Zevran noticed the slight tremble of her fingers as she drank, and he frowned deeply, enraged at the entire Grey Warden organization once again.

"I'm fine, really. It's nothing for you to be concerned about." Elissa inhaled sharply and placed the goblet on the table with forced gentleness.

He took the broom from her grasp and finished sweeping up the brown shards strewn about the floor. "I shall have a bath drawn for you, Elissa. And then, maybe you should…rest," he offered, for lack of a better suggestion.

As Zevran waited for a response, she slumped into a chair, feeling tired, boneless. "I'm sorry," she muttered, dropping her chin to her chest. "I…I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean any of it…those things I said. Zevran, I would never-"

"I know." An icy shiver ran down her spine before Zevran dropped the broom and yanked her up to his chest, embracing her tightly.

Unbidden teardrops slid down her cheek, her muscles aching to relax against his warmth. "Why haven't you left such a cruel wife as me, hm?"

"Because, my dove, no one else will have me anymore. Besides, you have ruined me for all other women. Compared to you, they are inferior and useless."

Although his witty compliment made her smile, she still wanted to cry, to fall into his arms and sob for hours. Instead, she straightened and steadied her voice, attempting to remain stoic. "You know, it's always been your humor and charm that comforted me the most. I can't imagine a day without..." At that moment, Zevran learned all he needed to know by looking into her eyes. Stormy and scared, her eyes betrayed her façade, the dread of the unknown creeping into her veins.

His gentle thumb swept away her tears and his arms urged her to move closer to him. A quick prayer for added fortitude chanted through his head, and he whispered against her lips. "I have you, amor. You are always safe with me."

_Anger_.

She was cross, scornful sometimes, storming about the villa in hysterical rages; she disputed every point, slammed doors, shouted orders, and pleaded for someone to listen to her tirades. And they did listen, with somber eyes and wistful gazes, their fists clenched.

After breakfast, her fits subsided, and Zevran left her alone with Catalina and her family to go for a quick ride on his prized stallion. His riding boots dug into the animal's flanks as Zevran forced the horse to gallop faster, farther away from the villa and the dark cloud threatening to spill over.

When the horse tired, he walked to a twisted yew tree, axe in hand. After launching blow upon violent blow to the trunk, he stopped when the blade finally dulled and went flat. Crumpling to the ground, he panted heavily and rested his elbows on his knees. Before long, his face fell into his hands, his tears streaming, no one near to hear his woeful sobs.

It became a habit, a necessity, and each day he made a futile attempt to obliterate the sounds of her anger and her cries. When he was satisfied he could repress his grief until the next day, he stood up, brushed himself off and headed back to their home.

As she sat on the terrace gazing at the sunset of another day gone by, Zevran stared at her, his eyes and hands always on her, imparting secret strength. And he whispered in her ear, "I adore you, my petulant beauty."

_Doubt_.

Naturally, death had come to them over the years. It wasn't something that happened only to someone else, somewhere else. But that was the death of an old man or a sick child, the deaths of a warrior and his ranks in battle, the death of a friend, a King, all tragic, yet expected.

Nothing was certain in her life, nothing but death, and him. She had lived a full life, loving Zevran and Catalina with every breath she took, and they had been exceedingly happy those many years.

Proudly, she watched Catalina transform into a beautiful woman, a rogue, a wife and mother. In time, two grandchildren cuddled with Elissa by firelight and sat with her at evening meals, their high-pitched laughter echoing throughout the villa as Zevran told stories, long forgotten tales of beauty and bravery, and his embellished storytelling always brought a smile to her lips.

As they settled into their chambers for the night, Elissa kept her eyes on Zevran, waiting for a perfect moment that she knew would never come. He would likely disagree, as he always had when they discussed her Calling. It would be a terrible conversation, one fraught with insecurity, but she was compelled to try again.

As he pulled the silk sheet over their bodies, she smoothed her hand across his cheek and his palm covered her hand gently. "You have something you wish to discuss, do you not?"

"Will you promise to hear me out before you respond?"

Zevran's eyes widened with curiosity. "Hm. I don't like the sound of this, but go on."

With fingers entwined, their hands came to rest on the bed, his grasp tighter than usual. "I once told you that I wouldn't let you take the journey with me, to the Deep Roads. I…I'm selfish, I know, because I want you with me, but…Catalina and her family need you now. I've done many things in my life that I regret, things I cannot change, but I'm not sure I can leave our daughter alone when it is within my power to keep you here to protect her. What kind of mother would abandon their child to face the troubles of life alone?"

In some deep recess of his mind, he knew this dilemma would weigh on her heart as her Calling drew near, but he didn't think she would press the issue and his response was casual and matter-of-fact. "Elissa, she is not a child. She is a grown woman who makes her own decisions now. She has a family, a husband to see after her needs, and sons to care for her as she grows old. She will never be alone."

"I brought her into this world, Zevran. _Our _blood courses through her veins. I can't…we can't just…How can we disappear from her life forever?"

Zevran swept her up into his arms, holding her so forcefully she groaned. "Amor, you must know that while our physical bodies may not be here, everything we have taught her and felt for her will be in her heart. From her birth to the first time she scraped her knee and bled, to this very moment, and all things in between, we were there, guiding her and loving her."

"Mm." Zevran felt her soft purr of agreement rumble in her chest. "She is a wonder, isn't she? And we were very responsible parents, good parents."

The slight optimistic tone in her voice allowed Zevran some peace of mind. "We were the _best _parents. She is strong and resilient. She is like you, amor."

Elissa pushed him back and smiled coyly. "When did you get so old and wise, Zevran?"

"Old! What old man can do this?" He grabbed her shoulders and pressed her to the bed, spreading her thighs with his knees without warning.

"Holy Maker, Zevran!" she hissed, a feral need tingling in the pit of her stomach.

Overtures of desire spilled from his lips in a deep, husky voice, and she moaned as he positioned himself over her. "No more talk. I know you want me, minx. I know you want me to love you, to please you…to feel me inside of you."

"Oh, I…Yes…I want you. Now, Zevran…now and always," she breathed urgently.

With one fierce movement, he entered her, their bodies pushing and pulling in harmony. No slow teases or temptations were offered; only raw lust thrummed through their bodies as they slammed together, shouts of pleasure and pain resonating off the walls of their bedroom.

When the last of their energies was spent, they stayed coupled, his arms wrapped around her protectively. "My dove, do not worry so. Catalina will live her life, and she will not forget where she came from." He looked into her eyes, his gaze penetrating her very soul. "No matter what comes, we are one, and I shall _never _leave your side."

"I know. I know you are right about this," she sighed. She held him tighter, moving her lips to his ear. "Don't let me go, Zevran. Hold me…" He nestled his face against her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of lavender, and they gradually fell asleep, wrapped in the comfort of each other's arms.

In the hours before dawn, she awoke in a cold sweat, shivering as she wound the blanket around her tighter.

"Elissa?"

"I woke you up," she whispered quivering.

Zevran sat up, groggy from sleep."What is it?"

Before her mind could react to what she was feeling, she wrapped her arms around Zevran and sobbed into his chest "Dreams…Blight dreams…foul creatures." She gripped him tighter.

"Dígame," he whispered, and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I was running and they were screaming my name, calling me a coward…saying I would never be able to save my friends, my family…I was alone and crying….I wasn't strong enough," she whimpered.

He pulled back to stare at her, an incensed edge to his voice. "Don't ever say that you are not strong enough. You are the strongest woman I know and you have saved many people, including me. Without you, they would be nothing, I would be nothing."

"Tell me our family will be fine without…you. Tell me again, Zevran," she begged.

"They _will _be fine, in time, and fond memories will replace these dismal ones. But you already know this, amor. I only wish-. "

"No. Don't say it, Zevran." She pressed her lips to his in a desperate kiss.

_Fear_.

Cringing by the hearth and wrapped in his arms, Elissa cried in vain, brokenhearted. Platinum and gold strands tangled between their cheeks as Zevran wept with unashamed tears. He steadied her shaky hands with his firm grip and comforted her, devotion plain in his soft voice. "I am here for you, amor."

"But who is here for you, Zevran? I should be brave and strong, but instead, I'm so scared, so powerless." Inflamed and red-rimmed, her eyes sought absolution as she looked into his resolute amber gaze.

"_You_ are here for me, and you are all I need." Zevran lifted her chin up and took a deep breath. "You are not weak, and have never been. I draw from your abilities, as you draw from mine and we will share this burden, as we have shared everything leading to this moment. You are my bones and my heart, and you have given me more than I ever hoped to have in this life. Everything I am is because of you, Elissa. Let _me_ be your strength and courage, your sword…and you shall be mine."

She wiped away his tears, gentle fingertips tracing his faded markings. There, in the dimming firelight, her smile finally emerged, and she held his face steady with the hands he had calmed. Her heart swelled with admiration and loyalty, and she distinguished him with the same title he held for her, but had never said. "You are my hero, Zevran Arainai."

_Acceptance_.

A heavy rain fell before sunrise and the damp morning air formed a wet slick on the stone floor of the vestibule. Standing in the doorway, she held her loved ones tight, whispering her last directives and parting words of love. "Remember who you are, Catalina. You are an Arainai, the daughter of the legendary assassin and his Grey Warden. _Never_ _forget_," Elissa demanded, her hands squeezing Catalina's arms hard, leaving reddish imprints of her fingers.

"Never, Mamá… you and Papá will always be with me, para siempre. I love you, Mamá." Elissa kissed Catalina's cheeks and turned away, an ominous nausea making her head swim, and she fled out the door, quickly making her way down the steps to stop next to her horse. Her legs wobbled as she bent at the waist and retched. Elissa was incapable of watching Zevran say goodbye.

At hearing his wife, Zevran shuddered, clenching and releasing his tight fists once before stepping towards Catalina. He lifted her face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones and he smiled. "Viva bien, my stealthy Catalina. Let love guide you through the dark days." Zevran embraced his daughter, damp palms tangling in her hair, and his arms refused the demands of his brain to let her go, to free her to live her life without them. Catalina drew in a tiny, quick breath, a breath that might have been easily missed. "I love you very much, my daughter…I am sorry." The words slipped from his lips, breathy and affecting.

Carlo laid a soft hand on Zevran's shoulder and Catalina slowly moved away from her father. "I understand, Papá, and I _will_ live well, I promise. Take care of Mamá…She loves you so."

Zevran forced a nod, his heart clenching so painfully it almost brought him to his knees. "Always, my kitten."

Zevran turned to face Carlo and narrowed his brows, the eyes of a protective father now upon Catalina's husband. "Everything I have is yours, my son. Our family's life and well-being is in your hands and I trust you will always do what is right, what is necessary."

"I will. This, I swear to you, Zevran. May the Maker guide you both." The two men embraced for a moment and a muted whimper escaped Carlo's lips.

Zevran pulled his grandsons into a strong bear hug, and then handed each a memento wrapped in thin leather. Zevran's family stood before him and he paused to burn the image into his memory. "Do not mourn us, mi familia. We shall be together again someday." One last glimpse and Zevran paced out the door, a proud calm settling into his pounding heart.

Poised next to Elissa, Zevran helped her mount her horse, making sure she was able to grip the reins tightly. As she settled into the saddle, Zevran took her hand and kissed it, his lips lingering on the smooth skin of her palm. He handed her the water bag and she took a sip, swished it around in her mouth briefly, and then spat it out, wiping her lips with her sleeve. "Zevran, I'm sorry, but I couldn't watch…it was too…"

"No apologies, my dear. You know I understand, and they do too."

Watching from the entryway, Catalina clutched her husband's hand tightly as her mother and father rode away on fine black destriers, stallion war horses bred for battle and speed. Moments later, they were gone from her sight and Catalina fell to her knees, unsteady and silent until a single tear escaped her eye, triggering an eruption of mournful cries.

* * *

Their journey to Orzammar was simple enough with what few darkspawn they encountered, and those creatures met their end mercilessly. Elissa and Zevran were invincible together, side by side, as they knew they would be. They ate and slept under the twinkling stars, and made love in the open fields, no confining tents needed to shield them from curious eyes.

More than three decades ago, they followed the same paths to Orzammar to gain the support of the dwarves against the Blight. This time, it was a personal quest, a glorious quest reserved for Grey Wardens alone. However, there was no glory, no pride or humility in her heart, only anguish.

On their last night, Zevran paid for a room, the most costly suite above Tapster's Tavern. By candlelight with their fingers entwined, they talked of their first and only child, and of her children. They reminisced about their first meeting, their first kiss, and the first time Zevran held her in his arms through the night.

As he slid inside her warmth, she held him tightly. He embraced her harder as he covered her exposed skin with his body before moving his hips, and when he moved, she moaned. The magic of their dance had begun, the movements filling them with delight, sorrow and finality at once. They moved in unison, heart to heart, repressing nothing, revealing everything.

Thirty-four years of unbridled passions compressed into a single moment in time - the last time. They were one body, one mind and one soul. She cried out his name against his mouth as they came in a solitary heightened burst. As she stroked his silvery hair, his sobs fell silent and she bestowed endless kisses on his face. Zevran held her in a possessive embrace and he left a soft kiss on her hair, a kiss of unending devotion.

Her words blew across his chest and into his heart."I love you, Zevran."

"And I love you," he whispered. "Eternally."

* * *

"Brasca! Move away from them, Elissa!" he yelled, but she was already in their clutches. It was all he could do to slice back the three darkspawn holding her captive before he moved into the thick of it. Elissa was bleeding, a puncture at the femoral artery. She panted heavily, falling to her knees and fending off the other beasts as best she could.

"Zevran! Help me!"

With unsteady hands, Zevran forced a tighter grip on his daggers and he flew in circles, ignoring the weakness of his muscles. He took down the surrounding darkspawn with blinding fury as Elissa collapsed to the ground, body parts and blood on all sides of her. Although her lungs labored as the blood drained from her injury, her eyes remained on Zevran, adoring and reverent.

He knelt beside her. "Amor, what do you want me to do?"

She grasped his hand, squeezing it hard with the last of her strength before her arm dropped to her side, and she choked out her plea. "You know. Don't let them…kill me…please, Zevran." Her sight was dimming, but she could still see him in the darkness that was creeping over her. Zevran glowed above her, always radiant, Antiva's famous son.

"Elissa, you are…we have had a marvelous life, and I love you." His tears were unshed, staying strong and gallant, for her, only for her.

"I adore you, my rogue...my husband." Blood sputtered from her mouth and she attempted a deep breath, but her lungs would not expand this time. Zevran shifted to sit beside her, pushing an arm under her shoulders to raise her up enough to see his face, his sorrow. "No tears, Zevran…we will meet again…Do this…with your hand."

Zevran was bewildered for a moment, but then he leaned forward, clearing his mind of the chaos. He kissed her again, and in that moment of untainted bliss, everything slowed and stopped and she felt lighter and freer than she had in years.

She blinked as Zevran pulled back and looked at her. "Elissa, I…forgive me…"

Her lips trembled, turning up in a slight smile. "Nothing…to forgive…I will find you."

"Mi corazón y mi alma," he whispered, his throat constricting. He pressed his forehead to hers and his eyes broke through her stare, a haunting gaze. He pledged to abide by her wishes. "I am your man, without reservation…Promise, mi amor..." Not another word fell from his quivering lips. He had said everything already.

Elissa managed a feeble wink for her Antivan as she breathed out. "Always…my beloved…"

Their lips met, the taste sweet and salty, of blood and tears. He held the dagger securely and swallowed hard, knowing the exact point of entry. With eyes closed, he pierced her heart as the darkspawn began to close in, surrounding her assassin, her savior. As Zevran cradled her head in his arm, he pulled the finely honed blade from her chest with quick precision. Her body jerked once and he winced, his tears now flowing down to dampen her untamed hair.

His love was gone, finally at peace. Zevran fixed his eyes on her tranquil face moments before their blades sliced into his flesh.

* * *

Elissa turned, not seeming to notice that she was no longer in the Deep Roads covered in blood and gore. The field was all sunlight and pale purple, and the flowers swayed in the warm breeze. Zevran stood on the other side, gazing at her in disbelief.

Each felt the last burden of pain and sorrow evaporate from their hearts, sacred warmth spreading through their bodies. The emptiness in their souls faded, replaced with the fullness of unequaled joy, and they moved towards each other through the stalks of fragrant lavender.

Arms and legs linked together and the two bodies became one. Youth and power were restored, love and lust coming alive just under the surface of their embrace, a reunion blinding in its beauty.

Euphoric, Elissa took his hands and pressed them to her heart. "Zevran, I've found you at last!"

"I am here, amor, and I am yours, forever."

_Thou art my life, my love, my heart,  
The very eyes of me;  
And hast command of every part,  
To live and die for thee.  
-Robert Herrick_

**~Fin~**

_**A/N: **__And so, it is over. If I didn't have some happiness in the end, I would have collapsed into a heaping pile of despair. Shoot me a message and tell me if the concluding chapter of my romantic tale did or did not disappoint you. As much as I hate to see this story end, I had a marvelous time writing it – no regrets. _

_A special thank you to __**Biff McLaughlin**__, author of the very fine and exciting tale, __**A Second Chance**__. Without her assistance, input and grammar skills, especially in this chapter, I might have floundered in a sea of confusion for weeks. Biff, my friend, I believe I owe you more than a few Antivan massages! _

_Whether you reviewed, alerted, favorited, or just read and enjoyed, please know that without your support and encouragement, I may never have gotten to the end. _

_If you are interested, I have decided to do the prequel, __**The Cousland Duty, **__because I just can't get enough. The story will be set during the original __**Dragon Age: Origins**__ storyline with the usual quests covered, but I intend to pepper it with action and twist up the storyline outside the main and side quests. See you soon!_


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